The Janitor
Author: NA14
Fandom: Buffy
Pairing(s): Liam/Will
Warnings: Toys
Spoilers: None, this is an AU
Summary: Will is a shy student, Liam is a part time janitor/boxer
Nominated Category:
Best Romance - Slash
Part 1 - The Janitor
"Hey, how ya' doin’?"
Will shifted on his chair, giving the janitor... what was his name? Liam. Yeah, Liam, a look under his lashes. He nodded, swallowing.
"What you readin' there? You read a lot, man. Like... like you read so much, your head probably is like this library, right? Just... boom! with all them books."
"Uh, just studying." He saw one thick calf come to sit on the chair next to him. Liam was smoking, and you weren't supposed to, but Will had seen him disable the fire alarms in this part of the library on campus before he cleaned things up. No one was ever up here in this dusty part of the tower, so he could get away with it.
"Man, I sure need some of those books. You think maybe if I lay down they could feed them into me, like in Star Trek or something? Some kind of insta-knowledge? Like instant coffee, you know? I can't afford Star Bucks or nothin', but I can make really good instant coffee, you know that?"
"No," Will's eyes blinked, fawn-soft, behind his glasses. Liam was so... big. Dark, sleek olive skin. And vibrant. He had a shiner over one eye. Will looked away, embarrassed for him, though he wasn't sure why.
"Well, I do. You gotta come by my place some morning. I'll make you some. I got this microwave. It's larger then the ones they make now. Found it on the street, can you believe that? Someone just... threw it out. But I picked it up, carried it seven blocks to my place and it works. It might mean, you know, I get radioactive... or something, since I heard that they can make you sterile, but I'm totally not worried about that. And now I heat the milk, see, in a little jug, and then I pour it over the instant coffee and add lots of sugar... sometimes some nutmeg, 'cause I found that--not sure what you use nutmeg for, actually, but hey, it ain't steak spice, right? So I figure it's okay. So yeah, I just add that, or cinnamon, and I got excellent coffee. Just like the Italian, right?"
Will watched Liam's lips moving. His hand waving in the air. The way his dark eyes looked at his cigarette and then darted over to look at Will.
"You don't mind me talkin' to you, I hope? I mean... I know I talk a lot. But I like to talk, you know? I like people. Like you."
"Uh, thanks. No, I don't mind."
"Aw, see you're nice. I like nice people. Sometimes people who read a lot, and you know, have money and stuff, don't think too much of me. Just the muscle. Just... dumb. But I actually have a lot of thoughts sometimes. Sometimes I do, you'd be surprised."
Will found himself nodding, engaged despite himself. It was always like this with the janitor. He'd come in and start talking, and Will couldn't look at anything else. It was like he was a performer, and he held the stage.
He saw the white bandages wrapped around Liam's hand and his lips pursed.
"Oh, yeah. Still a little bloody, right? From my last fight."
"You... fight?"
"Oh, yeah! I'm a very serious fighter. Yeah. I fight all the time. See this shiner? This shiner I got when I lost my last fight, but you shoulda seen me. I was great, you know what I'm sayin'? I was sensational. Only, the guy I fought, he was more." Liam laughed and rocked back and forth, and Will found his lips quirking. "So you ever get hungry up here with all these books?"
"I... no."
"Oh, that's too bad, since you know, I get very hungry around books. Yeah, I do. They make me want to go to Benny's and have a burger or somethin'. Maybe... you know, maybe you might like that?"
Will shook his head, blushing. "No, I... no, please, I can't."
"Oh, okay. It's alright! Absolutely!" Liam's thick calf disappeared. He was wearing black jeans and a black wife beater with a blue shirt over it. His cigarette burned on the corner of his lip as he looked down at Will. "I don't want to be a nuisance or nothin'. Can see you are a very serious man yourself."
"Too serious," Will said, feeling bad. But... but he couldn't go anywhere with Liam. He had to study. His father checked his progress to make sure he kept to his assigned schedule every week. And... and what would he say to someone like Liam? Liam was... glamourous. He wasn't shy.
"Naw, I am a serious man about fightin', and you are serious about the books, right? Now I'll just do my mopping thing, and you can feel free to talk to me if you want. I'd like that. Maybe I'll even learn something!"
Liam picked up the mop and bucket, his big body bent over them, and Will watched him. He was reading about the civil war right now, and oddly, seeing Liam mopping the floor made him think of slaves, and people who had no choice but to do things for others. "I don't know..."
"What? What don't you know?"
"What to say." Will ducked his head.
"Well, you could read to me, a little. You gotta nice voice. Real educated and stuff. I like to hear that."
Will blushed. "You do?"
"Yeah. You know those poems you wrote weren't so bad. I was thinking about the one where you was alone on an island, and I guess that sort of was like you saying you felt alone, like you was the island. I thought about that one quite a lot. You know, since last week."
Will's eyes widened. "I had no idea you'd like that one so much. You are correct: I was trying to use the island as a metaphor. I'm afraid it wasn't very original, though."
"Original? Oh, yeah, I'm sure it was very... uh, you know, special. Like... no one else ever had those kinds of thoughts before. Hell, I know I didn't, till you read it to me!"
"I'm happy you admired it."
"So you want to read me another?" Dark eyes looked up. Soft, hot, and Will felt the focus of their attention.
"I... uh."
"C'mon, sure you do. You got another island one? Or, there was the other one about that statue of a man, you know? The one you saw and you said I was like him. Yeah, I like that one!"
"David! Yes. You have a beautiful form."
"Why, thank you. Can you show me a picture of this dude? You said you would... you know, if you had time and stuff."
Will got to his feet, reaching for his cane and timidly making his way over to the book stacks where the art books were kept. He felt self-conscious and awkward as he passed Liam, who was dancing back on his heels, so vibrant and healthy. He put his cane down and struggled to lift the heavy book. Big hands with white wrappings and red stains and black hairs on the backs were suddenly there. He saw a mole by the corner of one of Liam's eyes, and his lashes swept up so that Will could see his eyes, close up. Black. Devouring black. "Your eyes are almost as dark as your pupils. That's very singular."
"Yeah? You mean they're nice eyes, right? I mean, you wouldn't say nothin' if you didn't like 'em."
"I do. I like them very much." Will blushed. "The picture of David is in this book."
"Man, it's a heavy book! Uhhhh!" Liam made a show of carrying it to the table, and Will knew it was for the sake of his pride. He didn't know how to feel about that. His stomach was all tight under the three sweaters and two tee shirts he was wearing to keep warm.
He shifted the pages, aware of warm breath behind him, and the big body of Liam looming. It made him feel oddly delicate, which was something only this big janitor made him experience. "Here," he pointed to the statue of David. "He's in Firenze. I've been there. The marble is as smooth as skin to the touch."
"Yeah? That's me, right?" Liam looked. "Oh, I don't have curly hair."
"Well, no, his hair is more like my own, but his form..." Will cleared his throat. "He has a very heroic form."
"Yeah? He was a hero too? That's cool!"
"Well, yes, David was a famous hero. He was an underdog, you see." Will wasn't certain if he should continue. Would Liam find it condescending if he knew the story?
"Really? I like stories about losers who become heroes. My favorite. Sort of inspiration. You know what I'm sayin'?"
"You're not a loser, Liam."
"Thank you, and you are very sensational yourself. I like that."
Will pushed back his tangled curls. "Like what?"
"You said my name. Like I'm a person. Like you see me."
Will's eyes widened. "Of course, I see you."
"That's totally great! Well, you want to tell me about David then? Though I gotta say, I'm packing more than that postage stamp he's wearing there. What's with that? He's not so heroic in the men's department," Liam laughed.
Will coughed, caught between laughter and embarrassment. "He was carved that way to show he was better than his animal self. It was a salute to intellect."
"Oh... well, looks like he'd have to do a lot of thinking since he lacked the goods for much else, but it's nice he was a hero and stuff, anyway. Maybe makes up for it a little? I just wanted you to know, you know, that I wasn't lacking as such. At all," Liam finished proudly.
Will swallowed. "Liam..."
"Sorry, I can see that my bathroom talk has embarrassed you. You're a very shy person, but I want you to know I don't think that makes you, you know, a bad person. Some very shy people go on to do some amazing stuff. Some are like, president, and everything. I heard that once. I did."
William was at a loss for words. He bit his lip.
"So, you know, after the story, you want to maybe head down to the beach and look at the tide comin' in? I love doing that. Makes me feel all free, you know? Like I could go where I like if I wanted. We could do that. I was thinkin' it might be nice and you could maybe think up some more poetry and I'd buy you a hot dog. What do you say?"
"I..." Will ducked his head.
"I guess I make you nervous. I don't mean nothin' by it, you know? I mean, I wouldn't hurt you, you bein' smaller than me. I'm a big guy, but I'm gentle. I'd... I'd be gentle with you."
Will looked up, drowning in soft, wistful dark chocolate.
"I'm gay, just in case you didn't figure it. Yeah. I'm bein' straight to you about it, in case you missed I was hittin' on you. Some fellas, they like to, you know, ambush their dates. Play it like a buddy, but I don't go that way. I'm straight up. Well, not straight, but you know, I wouldn't lie to you none. I really, really think you're a sensational person, so I was thinking hot dogs."
"Hot dogs are oddly phallic. Except people eat them."
Liam blinked. "Oh, like eating a hot dog makes you think of oral sex? So maybe you are gay, right? And maybe you just don't know it."
"I... I don't know."
"You don't trust me?"
"No, you seem very nice, but... I don't know if I'm... I never thought about it much."
"Yeah?" Liam laughed, picking up his mop. His eyes were down and his color high and Will wondered if this was hard for him too. He felt like he was peering at the other man over a high fence he had surrounded himself. It almost hurt his skin, being so close to Liam. As if his body woke up, and became sensitized. "Man, I think about it all the time. All the time."
Will ran a finger over his cane. "I can't walk on the sand. It's hard on my leg."
"Oh, right! Man, I'm so dumb! I didn't think about that... well, obviously you totally don't have to come. I mean, I don't want to make you uncomfortable or nothin.'"
"You didn't," Will lied. "Well, I should..."
"What about my story?" Liam asked. His full lip fell into a bit of a pout. Will found himself wondering what it would feel like to kiss that pout. It was a singular thought. Perhaps it was Liam's earthiness.
"I will read it to you if you like."
"Hey, I like! I'm just glad you feel you can totally still read to me." Liam's broad back was to Will, so all Will could see was shaggy brown hair and the shirt falling off one shoulder, revealing the black wife beater and looking oddly enticing, like Liam was a siren, and he was showing off his sex with that one bare shoulder...
Oh, dear, Will scolded himself. He was having some odd thoughts!
"I would love to read to you. And... and I've just never gone to a beach before."
Liam glanced back at him, mop in hand. "With anyone?" he asked in a hushed voice.
Will cleared his throat. "I had a car accident when I was little. Spent most of my time in rehab learning how to walk. It's why I have a doctorate now. I... read a lot, as you say."
"Oh. Well, I just want you to know, I get that you haven't been with anyone before... uh, I mean for a walk on the beach. And that's okay. That's totally fine. I meant what I said: I'm not a pushy guy. I can be... I'm not rough unless I'm fightin'."
Will felt a hot wash of feeling splash through him. Every time Liam said he was gentle, he pictured those big hands touching his skin. He cleared his throat. "Well, I'll read to you now."
"And you'll be here next week, right? Or I could come back tomorrow, 'cept it's my day off and I like to sleep and do laundry. But I could anyway."
"Oh, you don't have to come here and clean on your day off."
"But maybe you could read to me. I'd really like to hear more of your poems. Maybe you could, like maybe one day, dedicate one to me. That would be excellent."
Part 2 - Goldie
Liam sucked on some more ice chips as he rubbed his big calf. His body was settling in from the intense training before his last fight, and now, two days later, he hurt worse then he had right after the fight.
He reached for some GL3 L-Glutaminei, which would help fight that lactic acid stuck in his bones. Bottle fell over and he groaned as he reached for it, the bruises in his stomach making him want to curl up.
"You know, it's a good thing I do that janitor work," he told Goldie. "I mean, look at your old man here: if I didn't move after, I'd roll up and die, you know what I'm saying? Just. Die."
Goldie swam to the other side of her tank. Liam had got her a little bubbler since she looked like she couldn't breathe too good, and now she swam more. So he figured it helped her with her training, same as him.
"I saw him again, Goldie. Yeah. He talked to me. Thinks I'm..." Liam hummed, trying to put things into words. "Thinks I'm heroic, like this David dude, only David really looked gay, you know? Not like any real gays I ever knew."
Goldie pecked at the little temple in her bowl. Liam had bought her an English castle, but she was shy, so she'd pretty much stayed in there, so he didn't have a friend to talk to at all. And her job, as his fish, was to be his friend. So the castle had gone and now she had a Chinese temple, only she couldn't hide in it. She had to listen to Liam.
"He's got really fine skin. Like a baby's, I guess. Don't they say that? I dunno if it's exactly like a baby's, 'cause I'm of the bachelor persuasion, so I'm not sure if his face feels like a baby's ass or anything, but..." Liam chewed his lip. He closed his eyes and pictured putting the back of his hand against Will's cheek.
"Ohhhh ummmm. Better stop that kind of thinking 'cause there ain't no hot water. Not till they fix it again." Liam liked to take himself in hand in the shower. Seemed the man's way of doing it. Sometimes at night if he couldn't sleep, he'd stroke himself, but there'd been nothing on his bed with him but old newspaper for so long, it made it worse, touching himself late at night with no one there. Made it feel like he was alone, or something, which was very depressing.
"I'm like an optimist, you know?" he confided in Goldie. "I know he's not like me. Not even gay, probably. Maybe he was just bein' nice to me, not telling me off like some guys woulda." The thought discouraged Liam and he looked around his apartment, which had just enough room for a table and chairs and his bed and the kitchen. He had a TV, but it was busted. He missed hearing the people talking in the background on it. He should get that fixed once he had a couple of bucks, instead of blowing it on a new leather jacket and glossy boots, but he'd thought he looked fine in them, and maybe Will would like them. Maybe Will would like Liam better in black leather.
"He has nice hair. That's what I noticed first." Goldie had settled at the bottom and Liam leaned back on his pillow, thinking about Will. "Soft eyes. Blue kinda. He wears these glasses, so it's hard to see them sometimes. I'd like to take those glasses off him. Yeah, what do you think, you think your old man has maybe a shot taking those glasses off? I wouldn't mess around or anything, just really, really want to look into the man's eyes. Then I'll know if he sees me, you know, or if I should like, give up and try the clubs or something. But I don't want to do that. Don't want to fuck someone in the men's any more." Liam glanced at Goldie. "...Guess if he knew I did that, he'd not like me much, huh? But I get to just wanting someone's hands on me sometimes. Just so I know I'm like a real person, or something. Like, I matter somehow. You bein' a lady fish, I have to apologize for tellin' you stuff like that. I don't mean to be crude or nothin', it's just your tough luck you got bought by a boy, so you get to hear stuff sometimes. Okay, Goldie, I can see you are riveted by this conversation, so I'm gonna go to sleep now. You want, I should cover your bowl? I know you like that. Here." Liam put a couple of kleenex over the side of her bowl and leaned back, his hand running over yellow newsprint. "You know I should really clean this place up, I mean, you never know. He might come here one day. He might. Wonder what he'd think of it?"
...
Earliest evidence suggests that boxing was prevalent in North Africa during 4000 BC and the Mediterranean in 1500 BC.
A Greek ruler named Thesus, who ruled around 900 B.C., was entertained by men who would be seated in front of each other and beat another with their fists until one of them was killed. In time, the fighters fought on their feet and wore gloves (not padded) and wrappings on their arms below the elbows, but were otherwise naked when competing.
"What are you reading, William?"
"Oh, I was just..." Will tried to block his father's view of the book.
"The History of Boxing? William, that's hardly appropriate reading for your next doctorate."
"No, I just--"
"Here, I'll take it from you. Mrs. Edmonds made your favorite ice box cookies."
"Oh, that's..." Will peered up at his towering father. "I walked by a shop on campus today that sells contact lenses. You know, for your eyes?"
"Oh, those are filthy things. You don't need those."
Will watched his father dump his book with a decisive slap of distaste on the Queen Anne table by the door to the conservatory. "Boxing. It's a dirty sport for dirty, sweaty men. Really, this is as bad as those comic books I had to confiscate when you were younger."
Will tried to stick with the contact lenses topic, "I just think it might be easier for me if I--"
"No one cares how you look, my boy! Certainly not your books!" His father laughed.
"No, I know..."
"Did you have your swim yet?"
"Not yet."
"I'd like to see your leg now, William."
"Father, please. I'm not a little boy any more."
"And I'm a physician, so I'll judge these things. Please go into your room and put on your swimming trunks. Then I'll look at it."
His throat tight, Will went to his room.
...
A week later, Will jumped when the door banged open in the library tower. He looked up and saw Liam, who was carrying a lazy man's load of his mop and bucket and some cloths for dusting. The door was weighted, so he was struggling with all his equipment. Without thinking of it, Will got up and hobbled over without his cane, and held the door for Liam.
Up close, Liam loomed over him. He was thickly muscled, and he smelled warm, like his big body gave off more heat than other people. His hair was tangled damply around his face. He smiled at Will. "Hey, how you doin'? It's my man, Will!"
"I... fine. You should have made two trips."
"Naw. If I have to do that, it always feels like I'm doin' the same job twice, you know what I'm sayin'? So I like to get it over with all at once."
Will nodded, a smile hovering uncertainly over his lips.
"Thank you for getting the door for me. It was very heroic. You are a sensational person, Will."
Will ducked his head.
"No, I mean that: I know people, and most wouldn't have bothered. Treat a janitor like shit, you know? Like you're not a real person."
"You are a real person." Will stepped back since he was suddenly too close to Liam. Liam was wearing tall black boots and a black leather jacket over his black wife beater. It was a warm spring day, so Will wondered why he was wearing such heavy clothing.
"You like my leather?" Liam asked, putting down the pail and fishing around for the masking tape he used on the smoke sensor.
"It's winter clothing," Will said, not thinking about it, but remembering it as one of his father's rules. "And it's spring now. Aren't you too warm?"
"Oh! Uh..." Liam gave a rusty laugh, looking away and flushing. "I know that. Totally didn't mean to wear it today, but I didn't got nothin' else back from the... you know, dry cleaners? Yeah, the cleaners. So I had to settle for this old stuff. That or show up here in the nude like your David, you know? And I don't think you're ready to see me nude."
Will's eyes flared wide. He took a small step back. "I, er--"
"I was just jokin' with you, is all. Just meant I didn't got nothin' else to wear today," Liam said.
"You should take off that coat before you clean or you'll be over warm."
"You mean I'm very hot? That's good," Liam shucked off the jacket, revealing the rounded curves of large muscles as well as a flash of lusty armpit hair. He was wearing a long silver necklace that disappeared under the wife beater. His skin was damp, so it clung to him, outlining the shape of his stiffened nipples.
Will swallowed and returned to his table.
"I thought you and me could go for coffee," Liam said as he used a chair to stand on to fiddle with the fire alarm.
"I don't do that."
"Don't go for coffee? How come?"
"Well, the only place here in the tower is Star Bucks."
"Yeah, and it's a really classy place, you know? I like that wall paper they got with the mermaid and all the swirls, and those lights they got. I guess they are from somewheres else."
"You go there a lot?"
"Naw, can't afford it. Just like lookin' at it from the outside. Got no one to sit with anyway."
"You could go alone."
"I'd feel dumb, like I'd sit there at those chairs and everyone is wondering who's that guy, and why did they let him in here?" Liam laughed, flushed. He climbed down off the chair and fished out a cigarette and then he hesitated. For the first time, he asked, "You mind?"
Will shook his head, smiling.
"Thank you very much. That shit about non smoking is fucked up. People gonna die early anyway from eatin' TV dinners and having microwaves and stuff."
"Well, most people appreciate consideration."
"Yeah, I know." Liam quirked a brow. "I'm sorry. You want I should put it out? I only smoke a bit when I'm workin', honest. 'Cause bein' a fighter, I got to knock off with them."
"No, have it. I don't mind."
"You are a really sweet person, Will. Thanks so much."
Will fiddled with his books. He'd done a lot of work earlier in the day so he could spend his time talking to Liam. "I read a little about boxing," Will said.
"Yeah?" Liam abandoned his supplies and came to sit next to Will, turning a chair around so he could rest a brawny arm against it as he smoked and considered Will. He was sitting close to Will, and it felt comfortable, like he was a long time friend. Yet it made Will nervous, since he knew that Liam liked other men. Since Liam had told him, with no subtlety, that he liked Will. "So you want coffee with me?"
Will shook his head.
"Oh," Liam looked down at his cigarette.
"My leg... I just don't walk much, and Star Bucks is in the basement."
"You should work out with it more," Liam said.
"I swim."
"Yeah, that's good. Guess it's fine you can't go, anyways. Not like you want to sit in public with a bum like me, right?" Liam laughed.
Will reached out and timidly touched Liam's wrist. He saw the way Liam looked at his hand and swallowed and pulled away his fingers. "No, you are very... um, it's not that."
"It's the shy thing?"
Will nodded.
"Okay, I'm not shy. Just in case you didn't notice, you know. So you are gonna have to let me know if I make you feel shy. If I do, I'll stop what I'm doin', okay? I mean, I do it for Goldie."
"Goldie?" Will felt a sudden pang. He thought that Liam dated other boys.
"She's my fish. Goldfish, so I called her Goldie. I'm actually not rightly sure Goldie is a girl fish. I mean, I have no idea what's buried under her fins, right? It's not like it's easy to tell if you gotta a boy or girl goldfish, but I think she's a she. And I wanted to have a woman fish on account they listen more than boy fish." Liam took a deep drag, considering.
"I don't have any pets."
"Oh, yeah? That's a shame. Pets are really good friends to talk to. You know a man's apartment can really be... quiet, you know? So it's good to have a friend to talk to. Kind of like confessional, except it ain't no priest."
"Are you Catholic?"
"No, I was, but I'm just a guy now. I was Catholic when I was a baby and didn't have no say in it, you know?"
Will nodded. "I was raised Presbyterian."
"You still one?"
"My father takes me to church every Sunday."
"Oh. Well. That's nice of him."
"Yeah, I guess."
"I always found church really boring. I get that I'm not supposed to fuck my neighbor's wife and stuff, though, so I guess it's good for that."
Will cleared his throat. "The David comes from a religious story. He had to have a fight with Goliath, and he was much smaller, but he had his faith, so he was able to defeat his opponent."
"Yeah? That's cool! I didn't know they had no boxing in the bible. It's maybe more interesting than I thought."
Will smiled. "It has all kinds of stuff like that. And, also, it doesn't make sense. And mostly it says a lot of stuff about women that isn't very nice. Or so I think."
"You think about what you read a lot. Don't just read the ingredients on the Campbell's soup tin, huh?"
"Yeah, it's why I have a doctorate."
"That's cool. I don't have a doctorate 'cause I just read the labels and make sure it's what I need or don't need, you know? I get by with what I need. Listen, I gotta go to the bathroom. You be okay till I get back?" Liam's hand hovered over Will's shoulder a moment, but he didn't quite make contact.
"I... uh, of course."
"Sensational. Don't you go nowheres. Not like last week: I came by to see you, but you weren't here."
"On your day off?" Will felt a pang. "I didn't know you'd, ahem. You said you would be resting."
"How could I rest when I wanted to see you?"
Liam strode to the door, boots ringing against the worn hardwood.
Will looked after him a long time, before he made himself open a book and try to read.
...
Liam was a while. Will found himself feeling impatient. His father's driver would arrive for him in exactly 47 minutes to take him home for the day, and it took Will time to gather his things and leave the building. If Liam didn't return soon, he'd miss his chance to talk to him. About boxing, of course.
"Hey, hey, I'm back. I'm sorry I was a while. I went to Star Bucks. I'm sorry you couldn't come."
"Oh, they over roast their beans," Will repeated what his father had told him. "It's not that great."
"Oh." Liam hesitated, a bag in his hand. He ducked his head. "I didn't know that."
Will felt bad, as if he'd popped a child's balloon. "I wouldn't know myself. I just heard that."
"Well, I, uh, I bought you somethin', since you can't get down there yourself."
Will's eyes widened. "Liam..."
"No big deal. Especially now you say it's just crap."
"No, it's not! I'm... I can't believe you did that."
"Well, you couldn't go to Star Bucks, so Star Bucks came to you." Liam brought the bag over and put coffee and all kinds of condiments to go with it in front of Will. His big hands carefully laid everything out in a semicircle, before he pulled out a long cinnamon twist and laid it neatly on a napkin for Will.
Will stared.
"You don't like cinnamon? I can throw it out if they over roasted it."
"No! No, I love it! Liam... thank you. No one's ever..." Will took off his glasses, at a loss.
"Hey! I got you to take 'em off! Excellent! Go, Liam!"
"What?"
"Oh, I told Ms. Goldie I'd get you to take off your glasses for me so I could see your eyes. She said no way, but I did it. I'm the man, don't you think?"
Will replaced them, not sure what to think, what to feel. "Yes, I think you are the man, Liam," he said softly.
Part 3 - Tongue
"So I was thinking maybe... I dunno, pizza all right with you? I mean, pizza is so American, you know? And so... Uh," Liam cursed and stared at himself in the locker mirror. He was stripped down to his damp boxing shorts and his sparring equipment lay in a messy tangle on the bench behind him.
"Who you talkin' to, queer boy?" his trainer asked him.
"Someone very nice, that I hope to impress. I'm just tryin' to memorize some things, you know?"
"I thought you boys just fucked each other's asses? What's there to talk about?"
Liam started to unwrap his sore hands, looking away. Charlie was all right. A lot of trainers wouldn't have anything to do with a guy who was upfront he liked dicks more than tits. Only Liam's size and sweetness had saved him from being hurt bad, since generally boxers didn't like queers.
"I dunno, but this boy is really special, you know? And he may not even be gay: that's yet to be established."
Charlie laughed, his cocoa face creased with dry wrinkles that looked like they must crack painfully when he gave way to humor. "You stupid retard, Liam, no straight boy is gonna want anything to do with a big bruiser like you."
"Why not?" Liam looked up, his eyes Bambi soft. "I told him I wouldn't hurt him none."
Charlie shook his head. "One, because you are too big."
"I am big," Liam smiled proudly.
"You think any straight boy's pucker isn't going ouch, keep that big daddy away from me?"
"Oh," Liam was deflated. "I didn't think of that none."
"And you're dumb, kid. Sweet as hell, yeah, but dumb as a rock. No one with any smarts will hook up with a third rate fighter who's got big balls and a small brain."
Liam didn't feel so good any more. He rubbed his sweaty shoulders. "I guess you're right. I didn't... I didn't think it through."
"You never do, kid. You're sweet, and I just... don't want to see you hurt again, okay? So that means you gotta be what? What have I tried to teach you?"
"To be realistic. To know my, uh, limitations." Liam finished with his hands, looking them over. They were rough and bruised and swollen: nothing like Will's delicate, pale hands. "I didn't know I was bein'... dumb again. Thanks, Charlie."
Charlie clapped a hand on Liam's big bare shoulder. "I just don't want to see you moping around here with another broken heart. So, forget about him!"
"Okay... okay, I'll try. I'm not sure I can, like, right away? But I'll work on it," Liam promised his trainer. A smart fighter let his trainer do his thinking for him, and Liam always tried.
"You do that."
...
The day got worse when he went to the library tower expecting to see Will, even though he knew Charlie was right and he was just bein' dumb, thinking Will would want anything to do with a moron like him, but Will wasn't there. His table where he always sat was silent and dusty, as if no one had been there all week.
Liam sat down, touching Will's chair. There was a little piece of dried up cinnamon twist Danish on it. He remembered Will eating it and smiling at him. He'd seemed so happy, as if he really liked Liam.
...
"You're a big boy, aren't you? You like it rough, baby? 'Cause that's how I want it to go," Liam's date ran a hand over his thigh and up to his crotch.
Liam closed his eyes. "I don't like to do rough. I like it slow. Can we dance a little? Maybe you can tell me what your favorite color is or somethin', before we hit the alley or, uh, the men's?"
"Favorite color?" The bald man laughed, his cold earrings shaking. He had a tattoo on his head of Bambi, which is what had attracted Liam. "I just want to fuck. C'mon, you got the itch, I can tell. Put your condom on here. Don't want to get ambushed where I can't fight you off."
Liam glanced around, but no one was looking, so he unzipped and stroked himself with the encouragement of his date, who offered him a condom. "Is that orange?"
"It's supposed to be glowing amber or some shit."
"Amber: that sounds like a color I ain't heard of before." Liam was delighted with the condom. His dick looked like it would glow in the dark. How cool was that? He stroked it, smiling at the color, and feeling his sadness lift a little. "I like your tattoo, by the way. It's very nice."
"Whatever. Had a boyfriend who was an art freak."
"Yeah? I guess it didn't work out for you. That's sad. Relationships are sad, you know. But I think it's worth tryin', even if--"
"Look, are we gonna fuck, or what? I don't got time to chat with you. I picked you 'cause of your looks, not your mouth. You got a nice dick and I want to feel it, so let's get it on before I get any older, okay?"
His throat clogged up with feeling, Liam followed his date out to the alley. But he had one thing to say, "I wouldn't hurt you none."
"Whatever. Don't talk so much while we do it. Puts me in a bad mood: if I wanted to fuck some chatty woman, I wouldn't be gay, all right, pal?"
...
"Okay, that wasn't bad. A little vanilla, but not bad. Want a cigarette?"
"No, trying to quit." Liam felt worse than he had when he came here. How come? He wondered. His eyes were aching, like they wanted to cry. He missed Will. Would Will be there next week?
"You felt really good, nice and thick, and I like the sloooow boys."
"Yeah? I'm not, like, too big, am I? Like, if you was straight, you wouldn't be... shy of my size or nothin,' would you?"
"Dunno, I'm gay, so who cares what straights think. Don't know what they're missing, not having a hot number like you up the ass, right?"
Liam closed his eyes, wanting a hug or a kiss. Anything but the feeling of being trapped in a body that made people not want to see him.
When he opened his eyes, his date was gone. All that was left was a little used yellow condom lying on the alley floor.
...
Liam climbed the stairs, his legs aching from his morning run. He was in training again, which meant he'd sprint for 3 minutes and then rest for 3 minutes. He did this three times a week, and the rest, he ran 4 miles. He was rebuilding muscle and getting ready.
"Liam!"
His eyes widened when he saw Will sitting at his table. "Will, it's June 17, and you haven't been here since May 9th!"
"No." Will ducked his head.
"Yeah, I counted and everything."
"I'm... sorry. I switched days I came here."
"Oh."
"Yeah, I just... I..."
"You wanted to get away from me. I know it. It's all right, I'm dumb, but I ain't stupid or nothin'."
Will's curls were tangled around his head softly. His glasses magnified eyes that didn't often climb as high as Liam's face.
"I needed some time, yes. I'm sorry if I hurt you, Liam. I didn't want to do that."
Liam shrugged. "You're a good person, so I know you wouldn't do that." He felt bad, though, knowing that Will had wanted to get away from him.
Will looked down at his books. "I'm not: I knew I'd hurt your feelings, but... I just needed not to be here for a while. My father would never understand."
"If you had a boyfriend, right?" Liam felt his heart aching. "Yeah, it's okay. I always fall for the straight boys, but Will... I promised myself somethin' if I ever saw you again. Can I tell you somethin'?"
Will swallowed, nervously playing with his text books, after a moment, he gave a small nod. He looked as depressed as Liam felt, and Liam wanted to comfort him. Make him feel good, even if Liam didn't feel so hot.
Liam left his supplies and came to kneel at Will's feet. Will's eyes widened.
"Liam...?"
"I just want you to know, that if you ever did honor me by bein' my boyfriend, I'd treat you like glass. These hands would never hurt you, never scare you. You'd be like... God to me, Will, and I'd do what you wanted. Would never hurt you none."
"Oh, Liam." Will played with his glasses. "I'm such a coward."
"It's A-Okay. I started boyfriend huntin' again."
"Oh..." Will wiped his eyes, looking even more morose. "How's that going?"
"Not too good, but I have high hopes that someone out there will like me, you know, someday. I'm a naturally optimistic type person, you know? Like, I think good things will happen and stuff, only they don't usually, but I keep thinkin' they will somehow."
"I'm sure someone will really like you," Will said in a choked voice. Liam wasn't sure, but he thought maybe Will was on the verge of tears. It made him feel bad, since he'd thought what he was saying would make Will know it was okay he not wanting to like Liam any.
"It helps so I don't think about you all the time, you know? Like, right now, I was wishing I was your boyfriend so I could kiss you and put my tongue inside your mouth: I'd stroke you with it, real slow, tastin' you, and it would feel really good to be inside you. I'd be so happy! But I'm in training to not want that."
"Oh!" Will wiped his hands on his jeans. His eyes were really wide and blue and he was staring into Liam's eyes. Liam felt himself getting hard from that look, so he thought maybe he better get up and get back to cleaning.
"I'm gonna go to work now, and I'm in training to be your friend, just so you know, so I'll knock off thinkin' about things like that. I'll try."
Will gave a strangled sound. He looked really shaken. "T-thank you, Liam."
"You're welcome! Told ya I'd do anything for you, didn't I?"
Part 4 - Sub
"So you want to maybe come see me fight?" Liam was fiddling with his gear, not making eye contact with Will. Two weeks had passed since Will had started coming around again, and Liam had tried to be good. He couldn't help that he found himself sneaking glances of the other man. His eyes seemed to do it all on their own, and before he knew it--bam!--he had a stiffie.
It was really tough trying to train to be friends with Will and not want to lay him over his table and kiss him like crazy. Will wasn't helping any, either. Liam caught him looking over in his direction a lot. Once when he was bent over dusting the art books, his skin prickled and he looked up and he could have sworn Will was looking at his ass.
Hard to tell because Will had eyes like mice: they ran away as soon they caught your attention.
"I can't believe you fight," Will said now.
"Why d'you say that? I got a chin, you know?"
"Yes, I possess one as well, but I don't box," Will was smiling. Liam swallowed. It was like the other man was flirting with him or something. Made it kinda hotter in here than it was already.
"Naw, you know, a chin. Like I can take a lot of hits. Don't got no glass jaw. Lots of really prime contenders got lots of promise, but you can lay them down easy."
"Do you?"
"Well... not exactly. When I fight, it's not what you call an exact science."
Will put his chin in his hand. His curls were damp around his face so he looked a bit like the angels Liam remembered from church. "Mmmmmm?" Will purred.
Oh, man. Purred. Liam would not be responsible if he made that sound again any time soon.
"As I was saying before you made that... sound, which you shouldn't oughta do to a man in training, you know? Anyways, I don't always win. Sometimes... sometimes I'm the man. I can take down anyone, like I'm flying, and it's as easy as breathing, you know? But others, I just don't got the heart."
"So if you aren't in the right frame of mind, you lose?"
"Well, I think it's like bein' off balance or something. You ever notice how when you are doing your thing, happy as shit, then some bad stuff happens, and you get to feelin' bad about it, and you want someone to make you feel better, like hugs and kisses better? You want your friends to be understandin', only they aren't, and if you have anything electrical, like... like a kettle, it will short out the same time all this bad is coming down on you."
"Off balance..." Will was thinking about Liam's words! No one but Will ever really did, 'cept Liam's trainer, but mostly he just told Liam what to do. Will took off his glasses. "I've wanted to get rid of these for a while, and whenever I feel bad about... about how I can't walk like other people or how I wear them and not the contacts I really want, it seems like my father will say something that hurts me. Or I feel it more."
"He hurts you?" Liam came over and sat down. He put a gentle hand on Will's wrist, and Will blinked and looked at him, but Liam could tell he knew it was not a play to fool around. "I'm sorry. That's not good. You want, I should talk to him for you?"
"No!"
"I promise I wouldn't hit him or nothin', on account he's your father."
Will covered his mouth, shaking his head. At first, Liam thought he was crying, but then he saw Will was laughing, which he guessed was good, but his eyes were also damp. Will was like a rain shower, the kind of weather that was all confused, and he confused Liam, even as he made Liam feel good as a man. Feel good to be breathing and alive so he could look at Will. "That's... uh, very sweet of you, Liam, but I'm pretty sure he wouldn't listen: he thinks boxers are dirty, sweaty men."
"We are," Liam said. Then he blinked. "Do you think I'm dirty and sweaty? Is that why you don't want to let me get close to you?"
Will shook his head vigorously. "I'm so sorry, I was... I'm in a bit of a wild mood lately and I repeated something I shouldn't have and it hurt you. Please forgive me."
"'Course I'll forgive you. I'm glad you don't think I smell bad."
Will shook his head. "You are a very beautiful man," he said. Then he blushed, and the splotches of red in his cheeks delighted Liam.
"I like making you blush, Will."
"Ahem." Will took off his glasses, wiping his eyes. "How is your... your boyfriend scouting going?" Will asked him that whenever he saw Liam, which was nice.
"Not too good, I had to knock it off on account I was very depressed."
"I'm sorry you were depressed."
"Well, I'm going to be honest with you, since I ain't got nothing to lose tellin' you stuff: I had a date with a man who had Bambi on his head, and I thought it would be nice, only it wasn't."
"A date? Did you go out with him?"
"Yeah, around back."
"Around back of what?" Will looked confused.
"The joint. He had amber condoms. I've never heard of amber before. I liked the color but now it makes me sad. You know how it is sometimes with smells or colors that you always think of when they are mixed up with certain bad things? Well, now amber makes me sad, which is, you know, not amber's actual fault, so that's too bad."
"You... you had sex with him?"
"Yeah, only it wasn't very nice sex."
"Oh," Will said. Then, suddenly, he stood up, gripping his cane in white fingers, he began to pace, while Liam watched him. "I don't like that you engaged in... in intmacy with this man. You could have been hurt!"
"Naw, don't worry, none: I don't think we was what you call intimate. I just fucked him like he wanted, but I used a condom."
"Oh." Will looked ill.
Liam reached out impulsively and snagged Will's hand as he paced by him: he couldn't think with all the pacing distracting him. "You weren't around any. You didn't want me, remember?" Liam shrugged, feeling the edge of resentment flare a little at flirty, confusing Will.
"I've been doing some research about..." Will coughed. "I don't think I'm very gay. I tried to look at other men, like the dean? But I couldn't seem to find them attractive."
"Just how you're made."
"But I don't like you 'dating' in this fashion. I want it to stop."
"Why?"
"Because..." Will's hands fisted.
"Look. I need things spelled out. If it's red: I stop. If it's green: I go. I need it like that, right?"
"Because... I don't want you touching other men or looking at them or even thinking about--"
Liam snagged Will and cut off his outburst. Will's eyes were full of tears and he was shaking. He looked pale and sick, except for the flags of angry color in his face. "Hey... hey, now." Liam stood and put his hands on Will's shoulders, patting him so he'd calm. "You need to relax."
"Oh. Oh, dear me."
"Shhhh. Man, you are one tense dude, you know?"
Will laughed. "I'm not so bad as my father, I assure you." He wiped his eyes, embarrassed.
"Well... he ain't here right now, is he?"
"No."
"So you don't need to think about him when you're with me."
Will rubbed his forehead. "He's all I think about when I'm with you."
"I remind you of your dad?" Liam shook his head. "I know some guys like that, but--"
Will shook his head, smiling. Smiling was good. Liam was glad to see it. "No, er, not in that sense. However, I have been reading this morning." Will shifted to his books and held one out to Liam. It had a picture of two dudes wearing a lot of feathers. One was younger than the other, both male, and he was on hands and knees while his lover took him from behind. Liam felt color rise in his own cheeks, which he knew was dumb.
"It's from Africa, and I quote, 'E. E. Evans-Pritchard reported that male Azande warriors routinely married male youths who functioned as temporary wives,'" Will said.
"Oh, yeah?" Liam didn't know what to say.
"A lot of my reading seems to favor a younger 'boy like' figure who is... is the lover of an older man."
Liam's eyes widened. "Are you scared that I want you for my boy?"
Will dropped the book. "No, I, erm. I was just reading."
"I don't want you to be my boy, Will," Liam's voice came out throatier than he intended. It was all this talk about sex. He couldn't be responsible for how it made him want to nuzzle Will and lick his skin like he was a cinnamon twist from Star Bucks.
"No, er. No, I--" Will gave a weak laugh and backed away a little.
"You're scared of me? I'd never hurt you, I told you that." Liam was hurt: he'd promised Will he wouldn't hurt him, and Liam never went back on his word. Didn't Will know that? "You know, being big, everyone I'm with wants me to do them. Sometimes they want me to leave bruises or something, but I don't like that. The truth is..." Liam broke off, not sure he could share this with Will. What if he didn't understand it? What if it made him not like Liam even more?
"What? You can trust me, Liam. I'm trying to figure things out, but I know you are a very gentle person: it's why I sometimes forget you are a fighter."
"See, that's because you see me. Most people look at me and they see the body, the fists. You see me. It's why I like you so much, and why I got so depressed that you don't want me. 'Cause I think you'd be a very fine boyfriend for me."
Will reached out and brushed back Liam's hair from his forehead. It felt good, like when his mother used to do that for him when he was little. Caring, or something. "Tell me, please?"
"Well, I'd rather lie down for it with someone, only no one I've ever been with expects that. I want someone to take care of me, and back when I let myself think about having, you know, sex with you, I thought about lying down for you. Thought it might be easier for you to be inside me. I'd let you do what you wanted so you'd feel safe. Told you I'd treat you like glass, so if we had ever... you know, I'd let you inside."
"Oh!"
"You okay? You're all flushed like you got a fever or somethin'."
Will took Liam by surprise by gripping his head and pulling it close to him. His eyes were a vivid blue, full of flames, like he was one of those people who thought he was right all the time. Liam looked into his eyes and it was like seeing God, or something, seeing Will like this. He felt something shift inside him, but he didn't know what it was. "I want you, Liam. You're all... all I think about. I am scared, and what I want is forbidden, and I know my father would never accept it, but when you offered yourself to me, I knew I wanted that. I want to have you... My God, almost to own you!"
"Will, you're all wild and... you're sure you're yourself? Not sick or something?"
"No, this is myself. The real me. You bring it out in me. You."
"Oh," Liam's eyes widened as he found himself pressed against Will's desk by this sudden predator. This was quiet, shy Will? "I'm... uh, very glad."
Will laughed. "No, you aren't. Now, you're scared, a little. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I can't seem to think. Before I met you, I was... I couldn't even find relief easily. I get muscle cramps in my bad leg if I become over excited, so I've since adjusted and trained myself not to think about sexual intercourse."
"I'm very sorry to hear that," Liam said, eyes wide. He felt a bit threatened by this new Will. He wasn't used to feeling like that. It made him harder than he'd ever been in his life. Breathless. Waiting for Will to do whatever it was he would do. "I just don't want you to be scared with me. I want you to feel... free. I'd even lay down on your table right now and you could do whatever you wanted with me, and you'd know you were safe."
"You'd place yourself under my hands and let me touch you however I want?" Will's eyes still glowed, like the center of a gasoline fire. Liam felt himself burning, changed, from that look: Will looked at him like he owned him.
“Liam, climb on the table now, please,” Will suddenly ordered.
In answer, Liam gently moved aside all of Will's books on his desk while the heavy silence held and then he climbed up on Will's table, blushing a little himself, but he was a man of his word so he lay down on his back and looked up at Will. "I'm yours, Will," he said.
Part 5 - Daddy
"Bambi."
"Huh?" Liam lay on the table, his big doe eyes fixed on Will and Will shook his fingers, as if to loosen them before playing with a favorite instrument.
"You said you slept with a man who had Bambi on his head. I don't understand."
"Well, first of all, there was no sleepin'. We were more... action movie than chick flic, you know? And he had Bambi tattooed on his head, so I figured he'd be a nice man."
"And he wasn't?" Will was strung tight, Liam could see.
"No. Look, we have to talk about him anymore? 'Cause the heat I'm feelin' from you, is you don't like to hear about it none."
"I don't," Will said softly. He took his glasses off and placed them over the books and then hobbled over to Liam, his blue eyes challenging. "I... didn't understand about where Bambi came in, I suppose?"
"Now you know."
Will curved a hand possessively around Liam's left ankle, standing between Liam's legs in front of the center of the rectangular table. He held Liam's gaze, and Liam felt himself grow even more excited. "I feel..."
"What? What do you feel, Liam?"
"I feel sexy," he said. "I mean, up on here, I feel like I can let go and just be hard, you know? Don't have to hide it no more: how you make me feel so much a man. And I don't feel dirty or not good enough. Don't feel like I'm not smart enough. I'm special now 'cause you told me to get on the table."
"I did choose you. I feel like I'm s-smothering, all the time. And then I met you, and you chatter too much, so I couldn't block you out, but then I didn't want to any more."
"I talk to much?" Liam looked a little hurt.
"Will you take your clothes off for me?"
"...What, here?" Liam blinked.
"Yes."
"Isn't it... against the rules to be naked around all these books?"
"I don't think the books will mind, Liam."
Liam gave an uneasy look at sun sparkling on dust motes through the tall windows. "Naked? In the daytime, Will?"
"I thought you weren't shy?" Will's hands were white where they gripped the table. "You promised, Liam."
"I know but... all these books. I'm afraid they'll kill my mood, you know what I'm sayin'? Besides, what if someone comes in here and sees me naked with the books?"
Will was fighting a smile. He picked up his cane and limped to the door, dug in his pocket, and took out a key. He pulled the door closed, locked it, and turned to look at Liam. "In this room, you're mine, Liam."
Liam saw that blue fire was back. He felt his balls tighten at that look. Claiming.
"Okay," he said.
...
He sat up and hesitantly pulled off his tee shirt, which had stuck to him in damp patches. His big chest muscles flexed as he pulled it off and then because it was a nice tee shirt--cost him five dollars and it was his favorite color, blue--he folded it carefully, avoiding Will's hawk like gaze.
"Do I got to take off my shoes as well?" Liam asked, his eyes down.
Will gave a wild laugh, which made a ripple of feeling slide through Liam's belly. "Yes. I want you. Totally. Naked."
Liam swallowed. "Help me take 'em off then?"
Will returned slowly and then untied Liam's sneakers as Liam watched him. Liam darted little glances up at Will and always met that blazing blue glare, so that his own eyes fell away shyly. He was being taken. He knew it. He was even rolling over easy for Will.
Will took off his shoes but didn't have to take off Liam's socks on account he never wore any. Liam put his hands on his jeans, and then hesitated. "If I take off my pants for you, it means I love you a little, okay?"
Will swallowed. "Love?"
"Yeah, see, I promised myself a long time ago I wouldn't screw anyone without caring about them, even a little, so I always find some kind of... love thing inside me before I take off my pants."
"So I'm no different from those other men?" Will's voice was hard, his voice hushed as if he and Liam were in a movie theater.
"No, you are, I'm just telling you that if I show you my parts, it's because I love you... as long as that's okay with you? I won't love you if you say I'm not allowed."
Will stroked Liam's leg. "Liam, I'm not even sure that makes sense, unless its you."
"That's good, right?"
"That's very good."
"Okay, then!" Liam fumbled shyly with his jeans. He was embarrassed because he just sprang out, like a jack-in-a-box, seeing how he never wore no underwear either. He looked down at his thick erection, trembling like some creature that was happy to be free, his dark hair around it, framed by his zipper.
And then there was a finger. Will's finger. It ran up his length to the tip of his cock, where he was a little oily with how he felt.
Liam gave a lusty moan and collapsed onto his back, forgetting he had to finish pulling off his jeans. He was on the verge of losing it, and that only from being on the table, Will's gaze, and one touch... "Oh, man!"
"Mine."
"Yeah."
"You're so excited." The finger stroked him again.
Liam shot.
His big penis trembled, and than gave off like a canon, spraying Liam's muscled and sweat slick belly as he lay helpless under Will's touch.
"My Lord!"
"I'm..." Liam felt tears on his cheeks, as if his coming like that had opened up all his doors or something. "...Didn't mean to."
"You are so responsive!"
"Yeah, I got real worked up too," Liam said. "I'm sorry, Will. Now, I'm all... I'm messy, and you, you not bein' sure you're gay and all. I'm sorry." Liam was sure Will would be disgusted with him. There would be no more Liam on the table, no more touches...
He jumped a little as a box of Kleenex was handed to him. Eyes down and cheeks flaming, Liam cleaned himself.
"I brought you to climax from just touching you like that," Will said.
"Yeah. Sorry."
"No, you were... gorgeous."
"I was?" Liam gave a hopeful smile. Will didn't seem mad. His eyes were still blue fire, but he looked smug, as if Liam had done something he liked.
Will's eyes softened and Liam closed his eyes in pleasure as Will's pale, cool fingers caressed Liam's mussed up hair. "You are a very good boy, Liam," he said softly.
"I'm glad," Liam said, full of the most perfect happiness.
...
Will told him to get dressed again, and then Liam did his cleaning while Will read to him, but all the time Liam did that he felt this humming feeling between them.
When Will went and unlocked the door, after Liam had dressed, his eyes held Liam's and Liam felt this secret between them. He was Will's. He had been Will's. Will had brought him off.
"So my fight, you think you can come?" Liam asked anxiously. He so wanted to show Will how good he could be in the ring. He would do really, really well tonight and win, if only Will would come and stare up at him.
"I... don't think I can. My father. I promised to spend time with him and some of his friends this evening."
"Oh. Well, that's okay. It don't bother me none. Your daddy is important to you: I get that."
Will gave a choked laugh, looking at his glasses in his hand, and Liam had the idea that maybe those glasses meant something to Will. Something that made him sad. Liam had already been planning a surprise, but he vowed that tonight he'd go the distance so he could do something for Will.
...
"William?"
Will straightened, the laughter on his face smoothing away. "Father... I'm sorry, was I late?"
"Yes, you were, and I had to come up here to find you. I'm a busy man."
William stood, his face and body wooden, nothing like the Will that Liam knew at all. "I'll gather my things."
"Who is this... person?"
"Hey, how you doin'? I'm doin' fine myself. You gotta wonderful son, you know that? Yeah, he's sensational."
Will's father ignored Liam, raising an eyebrow at Will, who flushed. "He's... he's just the janitor here."
"You were sitting down reading books with a janitor?"
Will didn't look at Liam, who'd fallen silent, glancing from Will to his father. "Yes, I'm... I'm helping tutor him: he can't read."
Liam looked away.
"All right, well, gather your things!" Will's father went to the entranceway and pulled out a cell phone, making a quick call and barking impatiently into the little silver flip phone which Liam figured cost more than his rent this month.
Liam glanced at Will. "When is our next lesson?" he asked softly.
"I, uh, I have to go now..." Will bent close as he passed Liam and whispered, "I'm sorry."
"Hey, no problem!" Liam called.
Will's father clicked his phone closed, and then beckoned impatiently for Will to follow him. Without looking at Liam, who was sitting at the empty table, they both left the room.
Liam stood, "Hey, it was nice to meet you, sir! And... and goodbye, Will!"
...
When they reached the elevator, Liam heard Will's father say, "You are not wasting yourself teaching some white trash--"
...
Liam got home from his fight.
He hit Goldie's tank with swollen fingers. "Hey, Goldie. Sorry, I'm late with your fish flakes tonight, but you'd be very proud of your old man!" Liam shook some food into her tank. "Yeah, your old man won tonight. Did you proud. Gotta tell you them fish flakes smell, you know? Don't look that great to me, but hey, you like 'em."
He sat down and his whole body ached. His kidneys were swollen, so he knew he would feel it every time he passed something for a few days. One of his ribs felt iffy. "You mind givin' me a back rub, maybe? Maybe some ice? Yeah. Some ice would be good," he told Goldie. She was busy catching the flakes as they floated down like slow-falling snow through the little bowl. Liam watched for a while, feeling satisfaction that he'd done his job another day, and come back, and put food on the table for someone: even if it was just Goldie. He figured it was a big step up from no one.
"Will, he ain't got no Goldie. So that stuff he said about me? Don't bother me none. Don't bother me."
He reached into his pocket, and pulled out his take, and carefully had to count it twice, on account his fingers were so stiff he was extra clumsy: he had enough for rent, food, a bus pass to work and the gym, and, just enough for something special, something he really, really wanted: because he'd been a winner, he had more than he'd thought he would. It meant he probably had enough now to visit the fancy contact lens store on campus. Buy Will a gift certificate so he could wear contacts and not those glasses he didn't like.
"Oh, shit. Got some of my blood on the twenties!" Liam flashed the stained green backs Goldie's way. "Guess it's still legal, though, right? And now Will can feel better about himself, you know? And it don't bother me none, him telling his father I can't read: I mean, fuck, far as he knows I can't, right? So it don't bother me none. Alright, Goldie, I'm gonna turn out the light now since it's hurting my eyes. You get to sleep in tomorrow, so don't make no racket: your old man needs his sleep now."
Part 6 - Collar
Will couldn't sleep.
It wasn't particularly unusual. Often he woke from muscle cramps, or nightmares, or, because he hadn't been active enough, he also suffered from frequent bouts of insomnia.
Tonight was different.
Tonight he couldn't stop thinking about his forbidden fruit: Liam.
Will knew that his father's outlook on life and the way he treated people, servants or employees of his massive business empire, had warped the thinking of his only son and heir.
Because now Will felt a bit like Liam was his secret. His... servant, almost. As if Will was someone who lived a long time ago, like a Roman aristocrat, and there was a slave he wanted... a slave he visited.
He rubbed his forehead, wondering at his fanciful thoughts. His penis grew long as he remembered warm and lovely Liam spread out, dark eyes so trusting, misty with arousal. Will knew he could do anything to Liam and Liam would allow it, something that aroused him as intensely as it seemed to arouse Liam.
It was as if Will had held himself aloof all these years, indifferent, even a little pitying of the passions of others, and then he had met Liam, and his fascination was quickly turning into an obsession. His imagination was full of the things he wanted to do to Liam, now he knew Liam would let him.
He'd never thought himself a masterful person, until he met Liam, but when those soft eyes were obedient and welcoming, it filled Will with possessive pride. Liam was his. Liam was glowingly healthy, strong, sweetly confused and untamed and he had given himself to Will. Somehow when Liam climbed on the table for Will, it had shifted something inside Will, as he knew it had Liam. As if their bodies were remembering an ancient dance...
He got up and put on a modest robe, left his cane impatiently behind since its tapping on the hardwood might rouse his father, whom slept next to Will's room and left his door open at night so he could come to Will's aid if Will had a bad cramp.
Will also, had to keep his own door open: he wasn't allowed privacy except in his bathroom, and even there, he wasn't permitted to lock it ever, just in case. There was also a buzzer in Will's bathroom, so he could summon help if he needed it. Once, he'd lingered too long in the bath and his father had come in to check on him. Will remembered that had only been a year ago.
Now, he ghosted through the huge house.
His father regularly checked Will's IP voyages at home on his own PC and lap top and his father's computer for business was password protected, but in the guest house, across the outdoor pool, there was another computer provided for the comfort of any of his father's friends or business acquaintances.
Will had been stealing there lately so he could to read about sex on the net.
Tonight he wanted to research master and slave relationships: he knew that he wasn't some kind of leather wearing macho man, and he didn't like the idea of Liam's body all covered up, or wearing one of those masks he'd seen. Liam was beautiful. Gentle. That wouldn't suit him, though Will had a feeling he could talk him into those things if he cared to.
Instead, Will wanted to see Liam's eyes and his body. He didn't want it covered up with irritating and theatrical devices.
And yet... there were a few things Will had learned that were helpful, and he'd begun to fantasize about them on Liam. About Liam accepting them with that sweetness, he had...
Liam wanted to be owned, so Will had to be a good owner, and find out how to give Liam the best care he could.
He had never been attracted to a woman, really, and never any men, so he wasn't still sure he was gay. This obsession was all about Liam.
Will had needed to see Liam's sex, and handle it, to discover it hadn't put him off the idea of having sex with Liam at all. Watching his untamed beauty spread out and helpless under his touch, so moved that he couldn't control his delight--
Will rubbed his sweaty hands against his thighs and booted up the guest computer. He could only hope his father didn't watch the IP travel here, or it would be a little... disconcerting.
...
An hour later, Will reached down and stroked himself delicately, trying not to arouse himself too hastily and bring on a muscle cramp. Lately, he'd touched himself more than he ever had in his entire life, as if he were a desert flower, and he'd been saving all his seeds for the rain to finally fall upon him.
He had an idea for a special gift now for his Liam. His, now he'd claimed him. Something that would mark the occasion in both of their minds.
He would arrange it in the morning, if he could find time to slip away from his father.
...
Charlie wrapped Liam's bad rib. "Stop giving me that sissy look, you big girl!" Charlie said.
"It hurts, Charlie," Liam said, pouting a little.
"You ain't fightin' a while now, Liam!"
"Rib will heal."
"Liam..." Charlie shoved Liam's face in front of the bathroom mirror. "What do you see?"
Liam glanced through his two swollen black eyes and saw his face was covered in bruises. He met Charlie's straight gaze a minute before looking away.
"You took a pounding. I told you to stay down, but you didn't listen!"
"I knew I could win, Charlie!"
Charlie shook his head. "Liam, there is smart winning and dumb winning. Remember? And I've taught you about that. That guy you fought was a real killer: you should have let it go."
"But I won!"
"Barely. And now you aren't going to be fighting again for a while. So how's that smart?"
...
"I guess it's not. I'm sorry, Charlie. I don't know why I didn't listen to you last night." Liam felt the pain worse now than he had when he'd come to see his trainer. He'd thought... he'd thought Charlie would think he was like a war hero or something, with his bruises. He'd done good. He'd gone the distance. Instead, now Liam felt stupid and ugly.
Ugly.
"I can't go to work today," he mumbled, miserable.
"How come? No one cares what a janitor looks like, son." Charlie gave him a friendly ruffle of his hair now he'd made his point. He was more affectionate with Liam than any of the other fighters, on account that everyone knew Liam was a simpleton. Or so people told Liam, anyway.
"Because..." Liam bit his lip, avoiding looking at his own reflection.
"Ah huh! Your boyfriend someone you met on the job?"
Liam nodded.
"You don't want him seein' you look like this, huh?"
"He's not my boyfriend, but I've been working on him, and I think maybe he started to think he'd like to have me, but now I'm ugly."
"You aren't very pretty now, Liam, that's true. Go home and rest. Look at it this way: at least your pretty ass ain't all bruised up, so if it's true love, you'll find a way!"
Liam glared. Charlie laughed.
Then, decision made, Liam headed home. He was missing seeing Will, but he didn't see what choice he had. He couldn't let Will see him like this.
...
Will looked at the wrapped gift. He'd taken his time choosing the correct paper for it. Nothing silly, like balloons or puppy dogs. Nothing with too much color. The paper was based on old world maps, and he had a feeling that his Liam would be curious. Maybe ask Will about the names of countries that didn't exist anymore.
Will could tell him things, and Liam would listen, big doe brown eyes fixed on Will's face, drinking in his every word.
He could hardly wait. He closed his eyes and shuffled his feet, thinking about Liam. Naked, beautiful, soft-eyed Liam.
Very soon he'd be here, and Will would give him his gift.
...
On the third day of waiting for Liam, Will suddenly got up, picked up his carefully wrapped gift, and walked over to the trash. He shredded the paper and broke the cardboard in half, and then he shoved it into the garbage.
...
"Hey, Will! I'm so happy to see you! Hey, how are you? You look really... sensational."
"You didn't show up for three days! You could be fired for that," Will said coldly, his back to Liam.
"Yeah, I'm sorry about that... I was a little sore, so I took a few days off."
Will turned around in his seat to look Liam's way. His eyes widened and he stared.
Liam shifted, uncomfortable under that assessing, hard blue glare.
"Oh, this is nothin'. I've been. Ha... let me get my breath..."
"Liam, are you all right?" Will was frowning at him, and Liam noticed his hand was clenched over the back of his chair. He got up suddenly and limped over for a closer look.
"Just one of my ribs. Charlie wrapped it, so when I climbed the stairs, carrying my janitor stuff, it winded me a little. No worries." Liam peered at Will through his two badly swollen black eyes. He still avoided looking in the mirror, the last couple of days, but he knew the bruising was lit up like fireworks played over his skin. "It ain't nothin'. Don't you worry. I been bad off before, and a fighter learns not to feel it, you know?"
Will was staring at him with horror. It wasn't exactly what Liam had hoped for. "The way you're lookin' at me... guess you don't find me so hot no more, huh?"
"No," Will said. “I just... you look different. I’m not used to seeing you this way.”
Liam ducked his head. "Oh. I, uh. Can I have a little bit of your time before I leave today? I have something I want to give you," Liam asked shyly.
Will raised his brows. "I suppose. I don't like seeing you like this, Liam. You're moving like an octogenarian."
"That some kind of dinosaur, like a T Rex?"
"No, it means an older person, like elderly."
"Oh. Well, I don't know a lot of words, you know? I mean, I know enough to get by and all, but they are like the same old friends to me: you got all kinds of words that aren't my friends, so I haven't met them before."
"I have a doctorate," Will said absently.
Liam kept his head down as Will took his wrist and led him to the table. He warmed a little, remembering what they'd done there, but now he felt like a puppy who had messed up off the newspaper, on account he was all marked up and ugly. Will certainly wasn't looking at him the way he had the last time they'd been together.
"I want you to know, okay, that I can read," Liam blurted.
Will nodded calmly. "Of course, you can."
"Okay, then."
Liam jumped when Will's gentle hand covered his own. "Are you in very much pain?"
"Naw." Liam felt good, being touched like that.
"I had all kinds of expectations about seeing you again." Will frowned at his books.
"I thought about you too. I missed you."
Will sighed. "Oh, Liam. I can't even stay mad at you: not when you look like a puppy afraid of rolled up newspaper. I'm sorry you lost your fight."
"But I didn't! I won, Will." I won for you, only Liam didn't add that, since he couldn't tell what Will was thinking. Was he mad at Liam? He'd seemed kind of mad when Liam first came in, but Liam couldn't think what he'd done wrong.
"Well, I'll leave you to your books." Liam got up and painfully began to scrub the room. He was conscious of Will's eyes from time to time, but he was now so ashamed at how bad he looked that he never looked back. His throat was tight and his eyes were burning.
Will didn't talk to him.
In the trash, he discovered some shredded paper that looked special. He pulled it out, marveling at the maps. "Hey, Will, look at this? It's like something from one of your books."
"Oh... yes."
"Someone ripped it. That's too bad. If anyone gave me a gift wrapped with paper like this, I'd save it and look at the paper. It's nice."
Will got up and hobbled over. He pulled a broken cardboard box out of the garbage. "I was very... disappointed when you didn't show up, Liam."
"Oh, I'm sorry."
"Why didn't you come?" Will lifted Liam's chin so Liam had to meet blue fire full on.
"I didn't want you to see me like this... all ugly. I was afraid."
"Why afraid?"
"That you wouldn't want me anymore."
...
Liam jumped as a cool, kind hand cupped his cheek. "I have something for you, but I need you to trust me first."
"Anything, Will, you know that."
Will nodded, his eyes a softer blue. "I haven't thought of anything but you for days."
"Me, either. I mean... I mean, I haven't thought about myself, but you. I was afraid if I came here lookin' so bad you might not want me as your boyfriend."
Will leaned close and reached up to give Liam a soft little nuzzle, grazing his teeth over Liam's chin. It made Liam shiver.
"Take off your clothes for me?"
"Now? I'm all... I'm ugly."
"Liam?" Will was stern.
"Okay. You’re kind of bossy, anyone ever tell you that?" Liam complained, but he pulled his tee shirt off and kicked off his shoes. Seeing he was doing what he was told, Will went and locked the door.
"I think you like me that way." Will was smiling a little.
Liam was naked, except for the bandage around his lower rib cage. He didn't think Will would mind, him keeping that on. He felt awkward standing there like that. Will hadn't told him to get on the table.
Will went to the cracked leather club chair and sprawled. He still had the mysterious crumpled box, Liam saw. He wanted to ask Will what was inside it. Will patted the chair. "Come sit, Liam."
Liam's cock chose that moment to start rising, just from the sound of Will giving him orders. He blushed, ashamed at his own reaction. He saw that Will saw it, since Liam was all naked, so he could hardly hide it.
He came and sat, giving a groan as his belly muscles flexed. Will lifted him so he was sitting half on his lap, and over his good leg. He opened Liam's legs and spread them up and over the sides of the chair. Liam let himself be arranged, blushing furiously, aware of his erection bobbing between he and Will.
"Liam, look up at me, please," Will said.
Liam saw the soft blue in Will's eyes. He relaxed a little. He was used to being nude around other men, but with Will it was different. And he'd never sat on someone's lap before like this. Naked while the other man still had his clothing on.
Will stroked his hair and then his jaw. "You are not ugly."
Liam swallowed.
Will gave him a sharp little slap on his open thigh, and Liam gasped. "Pay attention. You're not ugly. You could never be ugly. You're special. Gorgeous."
Liam's lips tipped up hopefully. This was almost as good as the table! "I am?"
"Oh, yes. Pretty Liam. Do you want your gift now?"
Liam nodded.
"Say, please, Liam. I want you to say that whenever you want something from me from now on."
Liam nodded. "Okay, please."
"Sweetness." Will pulled his head down again and nuzzled him, his feline lips running over his jaw until he took another little nip of the skin where Liam's jaw and neck met. Liam shivered again, his fists clenched. "So beautifully responsive."
Will pulled away, arching a brow at Liam's cock, which flexed in reaction.
"Here is your gift."
Liam frowned, not understanding why his gift had been in the trash, but maybe Will had made a mistake and put it there by accident. He did that sometimes. Like, he'd be making instant soup, only it was hot chocolate since he hadn't paid attention to what he was doing.
Liam pulled out a blue strap with sparkling stones. It had a little buckle. It was too small to go around his waist. He frowned. "What is it?"
Will smiled. "The stones are aquamarines. I chose them specially, and I had my name sewn on it, see?"
Liam saw the stones spelled William. He still didn't see what the gift was for.
Will took it from him, pursing his lips. His face was soft and relaxed, Liam saw. Just like how he'd been when Liam was on the table. It was funny because despite his boner, Liam felt the same way.
"Bend closer."
Liam bent and Will put the little strap around his neck, buckling it so it rode high on his throat. Liam blinked and then pulled at it a little to see it.
"It's a pet collar. Not just any pet, I bought one used for exotic cats," Will said. "And my name's on it. It's your favorite color, blue... do you like it?"
Liam nodded. "It's pretty! Thank you, Will."
"When you wear it, I want you to remember how gorgeous you are."
Liam felt his heart light up, like vanilla sunlight coming through the misty day. He suddenly felt so happy he was near tears.
Will pulled him close, seeming to understand, reading Liam in some mysterious way. He stroked Liam's back soothingly. Kissed him in that sensitive place between his neck and jaw. "Do you want me to get you off again, pretty Liam?" Will asked him.
Part 7 - Owned
Will pulled him close, seeming to understand, reading Liam in some mysterious way. He stroked Liam's back soothingly. Kissed him in that sensitive place between his neck and jaw. "Do you want me to get you off again, pretty Liam?" Will asked him.
"If I let you do that, will you respect me, Will? 'Cause I'm sort of on the easy side," Liam fussed.
Will circled a lazy finger around the rim of Liam's cock head.
Liam threw his head back, gripping the chair arms and raising his hips, begging for more touches.
"Very easy. I have a fantasy: do you want to hear what it is?"
"Ummmm, okay." Liam tried to concentrate on words while cool fingers began to play with his hot, weeping sex. Will stroked his tight balls with a teasing finger.
"Once upon a time, maybe back in ancient Rome? I was an ancient general. Sort of like Julius Caesar. Do you know who he was?"
"He got killed. And he was Cleopatra's boyfriend, maybe?"
"Yes, he was and, well... I don't get killed."
"Okay."
"Maybe you are some slave from a conquered nation. You've served my family for a long time, but I've always liked you."
"Will!"
Liam squirmed as Will played more aggressively, pinching his nipples and then his length at the base. He bit his lip and tried to be good and not move, since whenever he did, the gentle touches stopped.
"Good boy. Don't move and daddy will play with you." Will bit the underside of his neck, sharply, leaving a little burning feeling so that Liam knew he'd been marked. "Now, where was I?"
"Uh. Julius Caesar?"
"Yes. So we'll say you work in my gardens or some such. You'd like that, wouldn't you?"
"I like plants, but I'm not very good with them: I sort of forget they're alive, you know? And then they aren't on account I didn't water them any."
"Well, since you're a slave whose job it is to tend to my garden, we'll say you do a pretty good job, okay?"
"Okay."
"One day I find you in the garden by yourself. You're... touching yourself. Like this--" Will's finger danced around Liam's opening, which was easily accessible from his open position. A finger entered Liam a little and Liam shuddered.
"Oh, Will!"
"Like me inside you, don't you?"
"Yes."
"Have you let anyone else fuck your pretty ass, Liam?" the voice was harder, like when Will talked to Liam about Bambi man.
"No... everyone I've been with expects me to do them, I told you. Besides... I was a little..." Liam swallowed, loving that finger just inside him. Will began to rub gently.
"Yes? Tell me. I want to know everything about you now. You’re mine, Liam."
Liam could no more hold his thoughts closed than he could his body. "I was a little afraid of bein' owned, you know? Like, I might be hurt."
Will's face was serious. His blue eyes were soft, and yet sharp at the same time. How did he do that? Liam wondered hazily. Liam felt like he was some kind of... recipe that Will was playing with. Like, when Liam tried to make pancakes a different way, he put in different stuff and watched to see what happened. Will was kind of like that, but Liam didn't mind. "Very wise, I think. You're so open--" The finger went deeper, "That you need a good owner. I read up about how to be one for you, because I want to make you feel good." Now Will's eyes were vulnerable. "I'm... not sure I know how precisely, though."
"Will, I'm yours, I told ya. I won't take it back none..." Liam's legs spread even wider. His face was glowing as he leaned back, letting Will take him anyway he wanted. This was better than anything Liam had ever felt. "Knew you would be a good boyfriend for me," he said. "So what happens to me, when you find me doing wrong things to myself? Do you spank me?" Liam flirted.
Will's eyes flared hot blue at the word spanking. He took a deep breath. "Something about you..." Will cupped one of Liam's cheeks. "You enchant me, and I'm under your spell."
"Yeah?" Liam looked proud. "I did good back then, didn't I?"
Will swirled his finger a little deeper into Liam's giving heat, fucking him a little. Liam's throat muscles strained as he threw his head back and his lips parted in happy ecstacy. Will attacked those flushed lips, wanting to feel what it was like to be so trusting, so gentle. He wanted Liam's magic. Tried to take it, through his lips.
Liam broke away suddenly, his cheeks burning. "I made a mess on your pants, Will. I'm sorry."
Will looked down and saw that his kiss had roused his Liam to hasty passion.
He pulled him close, into a tender hug, feeling something relax inside him as Liam wrapped big warm arms around him and cuddled him back. Liam's new collar sparkled dimly in the afternoon light, the blue stones full of soft fire. "Nothing to be sorry for. You look like an angel when you come, Liam. My gorgeous, slutty Angel."
***
William's father, Arthur Atherton, looked over the spread sheet of IP travels on the guest room computer. He turned to his aide, Morrison. "You're sure there is no mistake? My son purchased a... kitty collar."
"Yeah, and it doesn't look like it was for any cat, sir. He had it engraved with blue stones, spelling his name. Aquamarines." Morrison handed Arthur the profile he'd done on Liam Roarke. "Your son is spending all his free time up at the library when this man works. They stay there for... hours. I think it's safe to say they are having an affair."
"My son is NOT fucking some homo! He's NOT gay, do you understand me?"
"Yes, sir."
"It's this... trash he's fallen in with. Will was protected and cosseted, and, of course, he's curious. As a man of privilege, he's taken someone from the lower class as a sort of... experiment, but he's not gay, and he's not going to be gay."
"No, sir."
Arthur's fingers clenched. He remembered how he'd been drunk behind the wheel that long ago night. Remembered the snow sliding under the tires and then they hit the tree and Carrie had bled to death. His little Will had screamed because his leg was crushed. Arthur had gotten out of the car, leaving the corpse of his wife and his badly injured son, and walked four miles to summon help. Afterwards, through all the painful months of operations and therapy, he'd made sure that Will knew that he would walk again. And he had. Now, Will was in danger again, of making a disastrous mistake. Arthur would take care of him, as he always had.
"Get the homo fired from his job." He snapped the photo of Liam face down.
"Not easy, campus has all kinds of human resources stuff, advocates and all that--"
"I pay that fucking school a lot of money, so don't tell me I can't get some white trash kicked off campus for preying on an innocent boy: if Will were younger, I'd have this man up on charges for... for enticing my boy!"
"Sir..."
Arthur wiped a shaking hand across his mouth. "I want to see the den where this filth lives. Find out where it is and get me over there today. I'll make sure he doesn't come near my son, once and for all!"
...
"So you gonna let me take you to the beach soon, Will?"
Will loved that Liam never pushed him. Will wasn't sure he was ready to expose his flawed body to this perfect dark god sitting on his lap, though he had never felt more of a man. He'd made Liam come again. He'd taken care of him. It didn't matter that he was trembling from his own repressed lust. Liam didn't push him.
Will closed his eyes, picturing being daring enough to sit up and open his pants and then rub himself against Liam's velvety skin to bring himself off. He wanted to leave his semen on Liam's skin. It was a rather barbaric feeling, but he couldn't help how wildly possessive he was about Liam.
"Soon, I promise. My father will be coming, so I can't stay."
Liam's eyes dimmed a little. "He didn't like me much."
"He just doesn't know you."
"I don't think he wants to. I think your father is like Julius Caesar, like in your fantasy? Only he isn't nice. He just sees me as white trash."
"Don't use that expression!" Will's lips tightened. "You heard him. I'm... sorry."
"It's okay, it don't bother me none. I know I'm not class like you. But you carin' about me a little makes me feel good. It's all I ask for. I don't need nothin' else."
"I'm sorry you heard that." Will laced his fingers through Liam's hand. "I don't think about you that way."
"Yeah, but... you told him I couldn't read." Liam laughed.
"Liam, I told him that to protect you... my father's very possessive. It's best he doesn't know about you."
"I'm big and strong, Will. Don't you worry none about me. I can take care of myself. Take care of you, too, which reminds me." Liam got up and stretched, obviously a little shy over his returning enthusiasm. Will made no secret of admiring him as he went and got something out of his jeans pocket and brought it back to Will: it was a crumpled piece of paper.
When Will opened it, his eyes widened. "Liam..."
"You like it? You're happy? I don't know nothin' about fancy stones or anything like what you got me--and, no offence?--but I don't think I'll wear your gift, like, all the time or nothin'."
"No, it's meant to be when we're private." Will smiled. "But this... Liam, it's too much!"
"Naw. I won my last fight for you, Will. That guy, he tried hard to put me down, and he was way bigger than me, but I kept my feet, and I poured it on. I mowed him down for you, Will!"
Will put down the gift certificate for the contact lens shop he'd wanted to visit for so long and reached up to give Liam a kiss. "I'm... crazy about you, Liam," he whispered. "But this is too much, and I can't accept it."
"Sure you can."
"But... you have so little."
Liam shook his head. "For a smart fella, you miss some of the important stuff, Will. I got you. I got Goldie. I get to take care of you both, so that makes me very well off, I figure. Better off than anyone. Don't you get that?"
...
The landlord watched from the doorway as Arthur strode into Liam's apartment. "Shouldn't let you in like this... he's a good tenant. Nice kid."
"He's a fag."
"Yeah, it ain't no secret, but Liam's sweet, and he's not right in the head either. Kind of a retard, but very sweet."
"A retard?" Arthur's fingers trembled. The place was tiny and slightly messy, but not the filth he'd expected. The window was open, letting in fresh air. Some wild flowers stood in a drinking cup on the little kitchen table. Arthur gave them a contemptuous glare. "Dandelions. I suppose he is retarded if he doesn't know those aren't real flowers."
Arthur gave the little vase a shove, so the glass rolled off the table and shattered, and the bright yellow weeds were left in little pools of water.
"Hey!" The landlord was shoved back by Morrison, who pulled out a fifty and cocked an eyebrow.
The man took it. "What the fuck ever, but don't break anything else. I'll give you five more minutes." He stomped off, leaving Arthur and Morrison alone in Liam's little closet of a home.
Arthur was looking at the pictures of boxers taped to the walls with contempt. He reluctantly admitted that it was a small shit hole, but a clean one, except for some old newspapers spread out on the rumpled bed. That bed filled Arthur with revulsion. Had his boy been here? Had he let himself lie under that huge hulk?
Sickened, he noticed something else by the bed. The one bright, beautiful object in the room.
A goldfish.
The homo had a pet.
Part 8 - Comfort
"Will? Is W-Will there?"
Will frowned into the phone. He'd only left Liam half an hour ago. He'd given him his cell phone number, and also obtained Liam's address in return: he wasn't risking losing touch with him again.
"Liam, are you okay?" There was something wrong with the connection, or Liam was breathing heavily. Were his injuries from his fight bothering him? Will sprang up, knowing he was going to go check on his Liam, and never mind his father expected him at dinner tonight.
"...Will, I did something bad. I'm dumb, and I messed up and now... Will, she's dyin'!"
There were some wild sob sounds and Will felt his gut tighten. "Liam, hold on. Hold on!" He put Liam on hold and called for his father's driver. He could take a cab, but he didn't want to wait. He needed to get to Liam. Now.
"What's happening?" he demanded as soon as he had Liam back. "Is it your mother or...?" He realized he didn't know a thing about Liam. He hadn't even asked about his family. Fuck.
There was a snuffling sound, then a gulp, as if Liam were trying to stop from sobbing. Will felt tears of sympathy rise in his own eyes. Liam. Why was he hurting like this?
"It's... Goldie. I got back and she weren't in the water. The bubbler got unplugged somehow and she must have jumped out of her bowl to get more air. Will... I don't know what to do..." More wild sobs.
"Hold on, baby. I'm coming. I'll be there soon." Will got in the car and scribbled the address to the driver impatiently. "Get me there fast!" he snapped.
"I gotta go. I'm usin' my neighbor’s phone on account I ain't got one. I have to go back to Goldie now."
"Liam, baby, I'm on my way!" Will's throat tightened at the deadness in Liam's voice. "Please, baby: I'm on my way. I'll take care of you. Shhhh. I'll be there soon."
There was a sound of a suppressed sob and then the phone on the other end clattered down.
...
Will climbed up three passages of stairs to Liam's apartment. He found Liam easily, since all he had to do was follow the sound of wild, broken sobbing.
The door was half open. Will shoved inside, leaving his cane by the door and limped to Liam, who was sitting on the floor beside his bed, his head bent over his knees.
...
"What's wrong, sweet heart?" Will lifted Liam's face, which was battered from bruises and shiny with tears. He bent down and sipped a kiss, tasting warm salt and heartbreak. "Liam, tell me what's wrong and I'll fix it." He stroked Liam's hair and pulled him close.
"G-Goldie--" Liam pointed to a small round fish bowl which was bubbling away. At first, Will couldn't see anything, but then he saw a small gold and red fish resting on the bottom.
"Is that your friend?" he asked gently, stroking Liam's tangled hair back from his face.
Liam nodded. "I ain't got no money for a real pet, like a dog, only despite what people say about her, she's felt very real to me, you know? I've had Goldie for three years now, only I'm stupid, just like everyone says I am!"
Will shook him. "Stop saying that about yourself! What happened?"
"Dunno. The... bubbler thing I got her was off when I got in and she was... she jumped out of her bowl onto the table. I found her just... lying there."
Will saw some splashes of water around the little tank.
"It wasn't your fault."
"It was! I killed her 'cause I'm too dumb to take care of anyone. Even the pet store owner didn't want to sell me anything on account he knows I'm not too smart."
"You aren't stupid!" Will resisted an insane impulse to find the pet store owner and... and punch out his lights! Liam sagged, curling into a fetal position. Will pulled him onto his lap, turning his face so he could stare into dark, bruised eyes. "I'm going to fix this: you did the right thing calling me, baby."
"You can't fix it, Will. She's... she's dyin', I know she is, and it's my fault." Liam began to sob again.
Will somehow hefted him onto his feet and shoved him into one of the two cheap kitchen chairs. He saw there was broken glass on the floor, and Liam was barefoot, so he yanked the chair forward. "Stay there."
"Are you goin' to leave me?" Liam asked him softly, before his head dropped.
"No, sweet heart!" Will smacked Liam's ear, cuffing him gently. He knew smacking someone when they were upset wasn't... sensitive, but he needed to get through to Liam. "I'm going to make some calls. I'll take care of you, all right?"
Liam nodded but his eyes were as dull as two black stones. "O-okay."
Will growled his frustration, and stomped the door. Outside, he rested against the wall a moment. He was angry. Not at Liam, but at... life: for hurting such a vulnerable innocent. Liam's fish was going to die, and he knew Liam would blame himself.
...
Will came back and put his arms around Liam. "Someone will be here soon," he murmured into rumpled brown hair. "I'm going to make you something... tea, do you have that?"
"I don't know." Liam was shaking, long shivers of upset running through his body. When Will touched his hands, he found they lacked the warmth he was used to, and were icy cold. Liam was in shock.
"Oh, baby." Will hefted him back over to the bed, shoved some old newspapers aside and muscled a dead weight Liam under the covers. "It's okay. I’ll find something for you."
...
Liam had an ancient package of Red Rose tea buried in the back of his almost empty larder. Will felt his heart tug when he saw Captain Crunch cereal sitting right next to an unopened package of Trojan condoms.
It was so Liam, Will thought, even as jealousy rose. Who were the condoms for? One of the men who made his Liam perform like he was their sex toy? He felt fresh rage rise. He closed his eyes, knowing that too many people had hurt this boy-man for him to ever find them and beat them all up, and he was just one slight, crippled man. It didn't matter: if he heard anyone call Liam dumb tonight, he'd fucking rip out their throat.
He made tea and laced it with lots of sugar. Liam didn't want to drink it, but Will was firm. Then, he pulled his Liam into his arms and waited for the first of his visitors to arrive.
...
The man from Wild Aquariums arrived first. He hefted in a large brown box. He had an assistant with him. "That the fish?" he asked Will.
Will nodded. "Something's wrong with her tank... and she jumped out."
"Oh." The man knelt and looked at Goldie, who was lying at the bottom, breathing, her little fins moving only from the ripply water. "Well, goldfish can take low water, so if she wasn't out long, she might make it. Depends on whether she got all busted up from the fall."
Will nodded. Liam had his eyes tightly closed, one big fist wrapped in Will's shirt. He had seen the men, but turned away when they began to discuss Goldie's condition, as if it were just too painful for him. He was leaving it all to Will, which was good. Will would take care of him.
"I see. Well, set up the larger tank and... is there anything you can do for her?"
"Can put some stuff in the water, like antibiotics for fish. And I brought the other you asked for."
Will nodded.
...
Liam held onto to Will and didn't speak or show any interest as Goldie was carefully shifted into a large, new 75 gallon tank. Will gazed at it dumbly. Perhaps 75 gallons was too much room for one sick little fish? He didn't care. He'd have bought anything to save Liam's fish. Anything for Liam.
After the tank was set up, and the water fixed with chemicals, the man carefully moved Goldie, putting her skillfully in a little plastic bag which had tiny holes in it: this way her water and the tank water would balance out and not send her into shock, he explained to Will. "This water is well oxygenated, and full of the things she needs to fight. I've done what I can for her."
"Thank you," Will said.
"No problem... I’ll be back in the morning to check on her, and here's the other one." A small box with another small tank was revealed. Inside was another goldfish, this one black and scarlet. It had long fins, and looked like something from a fine Japanese water color. Will nodded. He signed the payment chit, and the man left.
Liam hadn't looked up to see the new tank that took up most the room on his kitchen table. He sat curled up with Will, the watery green light reflecting patterns on his swollen face and the fresh tears that kept seeping from his wounded heart.
...
Will's doctor checked Liam's pupils. "He's fine, Will. Just looks like a severe emotional shock."
"Can you give him anything?"
"He's not my patient."
"You work for me and for my family," Will's voice had a snap his doctor had yet to hear from the subdued little blond. "I want him to be able to relax... and sleep."
Reluctantly, the doctor left some pills.
Liam fussed, but Will made him take them.
...
Liam rubbed his head groggily against Will. He felt the great, gaping hole of his own pain and regret for hurting Goldie trying to swallow him again. He was all cried out. His eyes felt hot and crusty from his tears, and still all that crying hadn't made him feel any better. Not even Will being there and holding him helped. He wanted to curl up in a dark closet. He didn't deserve anyone being nice to him because he'd hurt his friend. He hadn't meant to, but he had, and all his crying couldn't change that.
"Please don't die, Goldie," he whispered, fresh tears falling anyway.
Will kissed him, pulling him into a bone crushing hug.
Liam wanted to die if his Goldie died and it was his fault.
Part 9 - Dumbell
"Liam! Are you fuckin' deaf or what? Come get the door!"
Bam! Bam!
Will shot awake, feeling his arms giving pain messages from holding Liam all night. He blinked at Liam, whose hair was all rumpled, wild around his face. His face was unshaven, and he looked like puppy boy meets Marlborough Man.
Liam got up, naked, and walked to his door. Without asking Will if he should open it while Will was sitting mussed up on the bed, blinking like a startled owl, he flung open the door.
A tall black man entered. His dark eyes right away took in Will. "You the boyfriend?"
Will's face was scarlet, but he glared at the other man, not giving him anything.
"That hasn't been exactly established yet, but I'm Will's," Liam said simply. His eyes were bloodshot, and his hands shook as he stepped back to let the stranger in the room.
Will's throat tightened despite his acute embarrassment at Liam's nudity when Liam walked back and took Will's hand. "He's taking care of me."
"That so?" The black man glared at Will. Will glared back. If they were two dogs, growls would be coming from both of them. "You hurt this boy, and I'll break your face!"
"Same goes," Will growled.
The man's eyebrows raised. "Hey, dumbbell, you bought home a keeper?"
Will was on his feet, limping toward the stranger when Liam yelped and got between them. "Don't be mad, Will!"
"Don't call him dumbbell," Will whispered, shaking. "I don't like it."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Okay, then." Respect shone in the brown eyes. A hand was held out to Will. "I'm Charlie, and Liam also belongs to me."
Will bristled. Charlie laughed. "I'm his trainer, man! I'm a little old to be his boyfriend, don't you think?"
Will looked at Liam who was watching the byplay like he was watching television. "Not for Liam. He... doesn't go by that."
Charlie's face softened as he looked at Liam. He pinched one bruised cheek and then patted it. "No, he don't. So what gives? You were supposed to come round so's I could have a look at that rib."
"I'm sorry." Liam swallowed and his eyes filled with tears. He looked down, obviously unable to speak.
Will gripped his forearm, pulling him close. "Liam, put on your pants, there's a good boy," Will said.
Liam blinked at him. "I always go naked in my apartment, Will."
"No, you used to be naked in your apartment. Now you'll only be that way..." Will's blush grew. He coughed. "When we are alone."
"Okay," Liam reached for his jeans, looking so miserable that Will pulled him into his arms for a quick kiss.
"I'm jealous," he whispered for Liam's ears alone. "Because you are so very... lovely. Okay?"
Liam's face brightened. He looked pleased. He nodded and put on his jeans, not zipping them, but at least covering the essentials. Will felt himself relaxing. It was very odd, but he didn't like other men seeing what he saw. He wanted Liam's beauty to be his alone, like a dragon with gold he hoarded.
"His goldfish suffered a serious mishap," Will told Charlie.
"That right?" Charlie's voice softened. "I told you. You need a dog or somethin', boy. I mean, fish die all the time: it's what they do!"
"She's m-my friend." Liam was still staring at the ground, shamed by his tears.
Charlie heaved a sigh. "I want you to come in the gym today."
"Charlie, please--"
"No. Truth is, she got to fight this out on her own, eh? I mean... is she still alive, your fish?"
Liam nodded. "I been watching her. She's still down near the bottom, but she's breathing, and her fins wiggle sometimes."
Charlie went over to the two aquariums, looking at the 75 gallon one in awe. "Jesus' underwear, where the hell you get this, boy? You bend over for that pet store man?"
Liam shook his head.
"What?" Will demanded.
Charlie gave a crack of laughter. "You. You've got a fighter's heart, kid. I like that."
Will flushed, and his gaze darted toward his cane resting by the door, before he skewered Charlie with burning blue eyes. "Who is this pet store man?"
"He took a fancy to our Liam, that's sure. Offered him a puppy for a date."
"Liam, you didn't!" Will looked at Liam, worried that he could have been enticed like a child with candy.
"No, that weren't right. If he wanted to get down, okay, but he... he made it out like he wanted me to work for him. Like takin' money or somethin', and I'd have to do what he wanted. It weren't right."
Will cupped Liam's cheeks, pulling his face down close so he wouldn't miss the shadow play in those dark eyes. "Has anyone ever wanted you... to do that? Sell yourself?"
Liam swallowed, and avoided Will's feral gaze.
"Fuck! Anyone does that? Asks you for... things, you tell them to talk to me, is that understood?"
Liam nodded.
"Say it, Liam!" Will's voice cracked like a small, lethal whip.
"I promise you: I'll come find you if anyone wants... wants a part of me."
"Okay, then." Will's stiff shoulders relaxed.
"Heh. He's subby one, ain't he?"
Will gave Charlie a sharp glance and Liam's mouth dropped. "How'd you know I... uh." Liam blushed.
"I train you, boy. You don't think I know how you like to be told what to do?" Charlie shook his head. "I've been worried for a long time you'd meet the wrong sort, who would just want you... doin' things for him, but he wouldn't care for you none."
"I had a lot of dates," Liam pouted as he remembered how none of them worked out.
"Yeah, but that's good, see, 'cause none of them got their hooks into you. You lead with your heart, and it's all glass over blood, boy. Speaking of which... you really ought to clean up your mess better, Liam. What's with the broken glass all over the floor?"
Liam looked at the shards under his kitchen chairs and frowned. "I don't know. I don't remember breaking nothin'."
Will bent down and took a closer look. "What's this?" he picked up a browned yellow flower.
"Dandelions: I like butter, see?" Liam put the shriveled flower under his chin and it reflected a yellow glow on his unshaven jaw.
"What were they for?"
"Flowers. You know, to brighten the place up?"
Will cupped Liam's cheek, watching as he picked them up. "That's nice, but how did they wind up on the floor?"
"I... don't know. Never noticed, Will. Maybe it got windy and they fell over?"
Will looked at the open window. He frowned. "Was the door locked when you got home? No one had been by here visiting you?"
"It was locked, I think... I can't remember too much because once I found Goldie--"
"The bubbler was pulled out of her tank?"
Liam frowned. "It was off."
"Unplugged?"
Liam nodded. "But it was also out of her bowl."
Will's eyes narrowed and Charlie put a hand on his stiff shoulder. "Something here ain't right," Charlie growled.
Will looked at the broken glass. "No, something isn't right."
...
Charlie left and Liam went back to the bed. He was staring over at Goldie as Will looked around for some breakfast fixings. Finding none, he got on his cell phone and ordered breakfast to be brought to he and Liam. "She's still alive," he told Liam neutrally.
"You don't think she's gonna make it."
Will sat down beside Liam and awkwardly touched his shoulder. "Why do you say that?"
"'Cause you bought me another fish."
"Liam..." Will didn't know what to say. He saw a tear run down Liam's face. Liam wiped it away, not looking at him. "I just thought..."
"You can't replace friends like that, Will!" Liam sprang up, his fists knotted. "If you died, do you think I'd just go out and find another boyfriend?"
Will bit his lip.
"You think because she's just a fish, she don't matter none, but I'm used to her. On the ceiling sometimes I see red and gold reflected by her bowl in the sunshine. I could watch that for hours when I talk to her."
Will climbed stiffly to his feet. He desperately wanted a shower and massage for his leg and back. He was getting pain messages from sitting in a stiff position all night. Instead, he went and put his arms around a glaring Liam. "I'm sorry. I didn't know what else to do. You are hurting so terribly and it... it's almost unbearable to see it." Will shoved back his messy hair. "I can't watch you suffering and not want to do something, even if it's the wrong thing."
"If Goldie dies I don't deserve another fish anyways, because I'm not a good friend."
Will's jaw hardened. "Liam, this is not your fault, sweet heart. Do you understand me? It's not your fault and you would take very good care of any goldfish. Um, that's why I bought him for you," he lied.
"You did?" Liam asked. "You thought I could take care of him?"
"Of course I did. I never doubted you," Will said, glad to be on firmer ground. He hadn't expected the reasoning behind his gift to be so clear to Liam somehow: he'd been guilty of underestimating him, just like so many others.
"As long as you didn't mean him as a replacement for Goldie."
Will swallowed, deciding it was best to avoid those waters. "He could be her boyfriend when she's better," he suggested.
Liam's eyes widened. "You think she was lonely, with just me?"
He looked so upset that Will led him back to the bed. Despite his stiff leg, he sat against the headboard and pulled Liam between his spread legs. "No, you were like... her daddy, but it's nice having someone, don't you think?"
Liam watched Goldie solemnly. He leaned his head back so it rested against Will's slender, softly muscled chest. One big, rough hand curved around Will's thigh. "Yeah, it's nice havin' someone."
...
Breakfast arrived from a restaurant Will sometimes went to with his father. He went to the door and ordered Liam to stay where he was. He remembered friendly, innocent, nude Liam opening his door, and realized that if he hadn't told him to put on some pants, the man with the food would have opened his door to naked Liam. The thought of that made him grind his teeth a little.
It wasn't easy guarding his Liam.
...
His father called. Will saw it was one of several calls. He didn't return them. What could he say? He rubbed his tired eyes. He'd barely slept. One day he'd been beginning a secret sexual relationship of some kind with Liam, and then he'd come here. He'd come here and he'd stayed. What did that mean?
He couldn't speak with his father when he didn't yet understand why he was here, and why he had to stay here.
"Those cakes look like little girl's dresses," Liam was marveling at the French pastries as he opened the boxes of food.
"Those are for dessert."
"Oh," Liam looked both crushed and guilty. Will shook his head ruefully. "And I'm an ass. Who cares if you are supposed to eat them last? Bring them over and we'll have cake first, all right?"
Liam gave Will a sunny smile. "I always have dessert first. Why would I want to be all full up with the other stuff when there's dessert?"
Will laughed. He picked up a chocolate cake with purple flowers and lacy peach filigree. Liam's eyes widened. "It's almost too pretty to eat," he said.
"Open," Will commanded.
Liam opened his mouth, and Will broke the cake in bits and then fed him chocolate orange cream cake. Despite his fatigue and pain, he felt his penis swell as he watched Liam moan and lick and suck Will's fingers, drawing out every bit of eating the pastry. "What flavor next, sweet heart?" He wanted to kiss those happy lips.
Liam greedily eyed the remaining cakes. "I can't make up my mind, Will! You choose for me?"
Will cupped Liam's cheek. "Okay, I can do that."
Part 10 - Puppy
Liam threw himself at the heavy bag. One jab, bam! Two cross punches, bam! Bam!
"Again, keep it up! Intensity! Kill that fucker!" Charlie yelled.
Bam! Bam!
"Watch your feet. Balance! Move them together!"
Cut, jab, punch, punch, PUNCH!
"Alright! Hold it! Hold it!" Charlie let go of the heavy bag he was holding steady for Liam. "Liam, your foot work is a fuckin' disgrace! You're all over the place. You gotta move like a ballerina, not like fuckin' King Kong!"
"Yeah, but I bet King Kong, he could really nail this bastard, you know?" Liam joked. His hair was stuck to his head. He was dripping with sweat from the intense work out with the heavy bag. One gloved hand rubbed over where his rib was still tender.
"Are you okay?" Will asked quietly.
"No worries. Charlie likes the old methods, you know? Road work, sparring, heavy bags, sit ups, jump rope, speed bag."
"Yeah, well, no sparring till I'm happy with that rib, but I want you up at four A.M. tomorrow and you better put two miles behind you, kid."
Liam spat into a pail by the bag, scrubbing his glowing face with a thin towel. "A-okay. I'll do my road work."
All around were the grunts of men working out with heavy bags, or the small swinging bags. Some were jumping rope. One short black man with fresh bruises and a bandage over his nose was doing sit ups with his back hanging off the side of the ring in the center of Charlie's gym.
Will adjusted his glasses, then put his hands in his pockets. He felt the eyes of the other men on him and Liam.
"Gladiators," he said.
"What's a gladiator?"
"They fought in ancient Rome, though boxing was invented in ancient Greece."
"Yeah?" Liam was taking his gloves off. He had wrapped his hands before he'd started his workout and now Will saw they were red and swollen with blood. "You know a lot about the sweet science, huh?"
Will smiled. "Only from my research. These men are all very dedicated."
"Yeah, and they work hard too," Liam said. "C'mon, I'm goin' back for a steam. You want one maybe too?"
"Oh, no."
"Come on, it'll make you feel good, and we could maybe snuggle a little."
"No, thanks." Will blushed, rubbing his leg, and trying not to limp as he followed Liam to the back.
"Hey, Liam! That your boyfriend?"
Will closed his eyes, expecting this would get very grade school.
Liam laughed and ruffled the hair of the slight black man who had been doing the sit ups. "I want very much for him to be my boyfriend: it would be a total honor."
The man wiped his face with a towel and then smiled at Will. "I'm Leon." He stuck out his hand. "You're the only guy Liam's ever brought here."
Will shook Leon's hand. "Oh. That's...oh."
Leon laughed. "It's fine, you bein’ gay. I mean, I'm personally not. But this place is sorta like the army, you know. Don't ask, don't tell. 'Cept for Liam."
Liam smiled. "I like bein' gay."
Leon shook his head. "You dumb fuck," he said affectionately. "You need to go see Brokeback Mountain or somethin'. Get educated on how you are an oppressed minority."
"It doesn't have a happy ending," Liam said, resuming his journey to the locker room. "I don't like stuff without a happy ending."
Will followed. "Why is that?" he asked quietly as Liam stripped out of his soaking clothing.
"'Cause real life is all..." Liam frowned, and then rubbed a hand over his stomach, which rippled with slick muscles. "It's like these bruises on my body, you know? It's all about the pain and...and livin' with the pain. So when I see a movie, I like it to be happy. Real life ain't so happy for people like me, Will."
"I'm sorry," Will said.
"Yeah, me too, but I ain't cryin' about it, you know?" Liam braced his arms against his locker. His eyes were scrunched tightly closed. Sweat rolled down his cheeks.
"What is it? You look like you're in pain, Liam!" Will touched one warm, wet shoulder.
"It's nothin'. Don't worry about it. Just...it'll pass."
"Liam!"
Liam's brown eyes snapped open. He leaned down and gave Will a gentle kiss. "Pain is...it's sort of a fact of life for a boxer, Will. Anyway, don't tell Charlie nothin', or he'll make me wait another week."
"Why do you fight, Liam?"
"'Cause it's all I'm good for," Liam said. "I'm like a heavy bag, see. Just good at takin' punches."
"I think you're more than that."
Liam smiled serenely. "I know what I am, Will. I'm stupid, I know that, and it don't bother me none."
...
"So you think maybe I should bring Goldie home a gift or somethin'? You think she'd like that maybe, since she's a girl fish and all."
"That might be a stereotype." Will took one of Liam's battered hands in his. He glanced around and saw they were alone, so he raised it and put it against his cheek, nuzzling it tenderly.
"Oh...so you don't think a gift is a good idea because my fish, she might be like a feminist or somethin'?"
Will laughed. "I'm sure she is, but I don't think a gift is a bad idea."
"How come you're lookin' at me like that?"
"Like what?"
"Like you're about to cry or somethin'. I make you sad, Will?"
Will shook his head. He cleared his throat. "No. You make me...there aren't words."
"You got lots of words, Will!" Liam said.
"I don't have one for how you make me feel."
...
Will wanted to sneak into the shower and use it, but...all these healthy young men. All looking his way and then away if he glanced back. He felt horribly self-conscious. Did they imagine he and Liam together?
"That was a good steam. All the bad went out, you know?"
"You're dripping on your clean clothing."
"Oh, yeah, thanks. Don't want to do that. Want to look sharp since I'm out with you."
Liam was dripping from his shower. His powerful body was sculpted with rounded muscle.
Will glanced at the long length of Liam's sleeping penis and then looked away.
"Caught you!" Liam smiled. "You think I'm a hunk, huh?"
Will smiled and blushed. "Come on, let's get your goldfish a gift!"
...
The pet store was located on a grimy corner between Liam's apartment and Charlie's gym. Will stepped over some newspaper stained with yellow clouds as he followed Liam inside. It smelled of warm vomit and cat urine.
"Hey! I need a gift for my goldfish!"
"Liam, Jesus Fucking Christ, you have to yell whenever you come in here?" A short brunette man demanded. He had a perpetual frown and a stomach that swelled over his belt buckle. He gave Will a sour glance. "Who's that?"
"That's my man Will! Will, this is Rick, and he sold me Goldie."
"I...hello." Will was remembering Charlie talking about a pet store owner...who wanted to trade Liam's favors for a puppy. He tried not to glare at Rick.
"That fish still alive?" Rick was restocking shelves. "I got lots more where it came from, you know, if you ever want another color."
Liam frowned. "I like Goldie's colors just fine."
"I got some new ones with really long fins. Could cut you a deal. See?"
Liam bent close and looked into a foggy green aquarium. Will didn't miss how Rick eyed his bum as he did so. Will sidled up next to Liam.
"Pretty, but I got Goldie, thanks."
"Fuck, just flush her down the john and try another color. You can't want the same fish year after year."
Liam's eyes widened. "I couldn't do that, Rick! Goldie's alive."
"She's just a fish."
"She's my friend."
"You eat fish, right? They are barely alive, you dumb fuck."
"Don't call him that!" Will shoved Rick.
"Who the fuck are you?"
"Will!" Liam pushed Will back. Rick tried to go after him, but Liam blocked his passage. "Rick, don't fight."
"What do you want, if you don't want a new fish then?" Rick demanded.
"I was thinking...maybe some new sand for Goldie's tank. I like this hot pink color...and the blue is nice too."
"You don't mix colors, moron. It's blue or pink, and the pink is for little girls."
"But I like it. I don't see why I can't have pink."
Rick sneered. "Yeah, everyone knows you like pink, Liam. All right. I got another temple in."
He handed a gaudy ancient Greek temple to Liam, who studied it carefully. It was florescent orange. "She could probably swim though it. She might like that."
"Whatever."
As they walked to the till, a puppy in a tiny cage barked at their feet. Rick kicked the cage so it jumped, making the puppy fall over and whimper.
"Oh, Rick..." Liam got down on his hands and knees, looming over the tiny cage. "You scared the little guy."
"Whatever. Can't sell the little fucker: he's a runt."
The puppy was black, but his fur was matted. His eyes were crusted and his cage was filthy. His little club tail wagged once for Liam, revealing his rear end, which was covered in dried puppy poop.
"I wish I could buy you," Liam said sadly. "I'd give you a really good shower."
"C'mon, I want to close up," Rick said.
Will saw Liam put one big finger in the cage. The frightened puppy sniffed it and then licked it.
"I'll buy him," Will said.
Liam blinked up at Will. "You want a puppy, Will?"
"I want him for you, Liam."
"That dog is a runt! Gonna send him back to the puppy mill. You sure you want him?"
Will nodded firmly, taking out his gold card. "And Liam will pick out some toys...and things for him. Oh, and puppy shampoo, please."
...
Halfway home with the puppy lying over Liam's big shoulder, asleep, Liam stopped. "You didn't buy the puppy because you think Goldie's gonna die, did you, Will?"
Will shook his head. "I bought the puppy because I couldn't bear to leave him there. I knew you'd take good care of him."
Liam smiled. "I know he don't smell too good, but I promise I'll take care of that as soon as I get him home. Do you want me to take the bag with Goldie's things?"
"No, I've got it."
...
At the apartment, Liam went straight to the tank. He looked at Goldie. She was still down at the bottom, but her fins were shimmering as they moved softly. "I think she might be a little better maybe!"
Liam put the puppy down on the floor, and the little body waddled uncertainly over cracked linoleum.
Will went over to Liam and pressed his face against the back of Liam's neck, closing his eyes. Thankful. "I think you're right. I think she'll be just fine."
Liam started laughing, tears running down his face. "She won't die and leave me, Will!"
"She's a very sensible fish." Will nuzzled Liam. "Why would she ever want to leave you?"
Part 11 - Bonding
Will went over to Liam and pressed his face against the back of Liam's neck, closing his eyes. Thankful. "I think you're right. I think she'll be just fine."
Liam started laughing, tears running down his face. "She won't die and leave me, Will!"
"She's a very sensible fish." Will nuzzled Liam. "Why would she ever want to leave you?"
"You saved my fish." Liam turned around and rested his forehead against Will's.
Will rubbed his lips against Liam's. "I couldn't even imagine someone like you such a short time ago."
"That's good, right?" Will was kissing the tears from Liam's face. Liam shuddered. "Oh, man, that feels so good. Like... I'm someone to you, you know?"
"You have no idea who you are to me. No idea." Will shoved Liam toward his bed. Newspaper crackled under Liam's hands as he sat obediently with his legs open, looking up at Will with big doe eyes.
"What's with the newspaper on the bed?" Will got on his knees on the bed and began loving Liam's mouth passionately with his own.
"Hey, hey! You're shaking, Will. How come?" Liam snagged Will's trembling fingers.
Will shuddered. Trust Liam to see into his upset. He couldn't hide his feelings from Liam. For some reason, he could hide from his father, or from his father's friends or any of his other aquaintances, but with Liam his feelings might as well be painted in neon.
"I don't know... I thought she'd die. I thought your goldfish would die and somehow...somehow it would be my fault. I wasn't sure if there was anything I could do to make you not hurt." Will kissed Liam's neck. "I want to see you. I want to touch your body."
"Okay." Liam glowed. "You like my body, don't you?"
"Yessss!" Will nipped Liam's neck sharply. Liam pulled his shirt off and then opened his pants. Will dug him out and ran a thumb over the fleshy head. "This is mine; I get to play with it whenever I want."
"Okay." Liam shoved his pants off and spread his legs, lifting his hips and pushing his erection into Will's handling. "I love this. This is why it's great that I'm gay."
"Liam..." Will pushed him on his back and newspaper crackled again. "I think I want to hear about why you have two-year-old newspaper on your bed."
"Oh, it's goin' on two years now?" Liam gasped as Will began to pump him. "Um, I brought someone here two years ago, and I thought he'd stay the night, you know? But he just bent over my kitchen table so I could...and after, he just left. Didn’t stay or nothin' for a little cuddling, like I hoped. Anyways, my bed felt too big, you know? So I put the newspaper on it, and every time I move the paper makes noise so I know I'm not alone. There are people out there. I'm not alone even if I sleep alone, you know?"
"I want to sleep in your bed with you," Will said, combing back Liam's hair.
"Well, it ain't that big, I guess, and the mattress kind of sags, but if you want, you can sleep here. I'd...very much like you to sleep here with me, you know? If it's what you'd like."
"I wish I could." Will rubbed his forehead. "I wish I could be with you...all the time. My father! God, what must he be thinking? I haven't called him back. I have no idea how he'd feel if he knew I was seeing...someone."
"Like a male someone?"
"I've never discussed homosexuality with my father. I...never thought."
Will giggled, but it sounded like a sad giggle to Liam. He stroked Will's cheek, trying to calm him a little. His Will was sort of wound up all the time. Liam knew he was good at calming down someone like that. Sort of like...he was a laxative or something, maybe. He fixed people who were too uptight.
"I'll call him in a moment. Just let me have some time with you. Just let me touch you," Will pleaded.
Liam knew he wasn't speaking to him, Liam, but to himself, and to his father. He felt sad, since he knew that he wasn't first in Will's life, and he knew he couldn't be.
"Will, can I touch you too, please?" he asked quietly.
Will started. "Liam..."
"What's the matter, you don't like anyone seeing your bum leg, huh? But you haven't let me touch your penis, and I would very much like to do that for you, you know? Give you a hand job, I mean," Liam said. He kissed Will's chin, asking him for permission. "Unless, you know, your penis is deformed or something, and then I can turn out the lights before I do that."
Will laughed. "It's a little bent, but it's not deformed. I'm very...ordinary: I'm not like you."
"No, you aren't." Liam opened Will's trousers so that Will's hungry fullness spilled out for the first time. He licked his lips, pushing down Will's silk boxers so Will's penis was exposed from root to tip. "I love to play with these. Please, can I play with you? Please?"
Will laughed again. "You make sex...not so serious."
Will fell closer, hanging over Liam so their penises touched. "Oh, my God!" he whispered.
Liam milked them both, rubbing them together gently, and then he couldn't be so gentle. Will was gasping, clawing at Liam's shoulders, shuddering as penis rubbed against penis and Liam's big hand yanked them both off.
"Look at us! I never thought something like that would be so..." Will's face went taut, like the skin over a drum, and Liam watched him with wonder as he felt hot liquid come out of Will's penis. He held off just to see that.
"Will, can I come now?"
"Yes, baby." Will kissed him, his chest heaving. "Come for me, Liam."
Liam's big body bowed up, rising and falling like he was floating over waves in the ocean. His big penis released and Will felt their mingled come, warm on the skin of their cocks, warm on the skin of their bellies.
"We belong to each other now," Will said. He didn't know if it was good or bad. Didn't know if he was scared, or sad, or happy. He felt all that, as well as things he couldn't name.
...
"Oh. Liam."
Liam looked down and saw the puppy had piddled and shit all over the floor while he and Will played on the bed together.
"I'll give him his bath."
"I'll wipe up."
"You don't have to do that."
"Well, you do have some handy newspaper I can use, fortunately." Will gathered up the newspaper that Liam had used on his bed. He held Liam's eyes. "You don't need it on your bed anymore to remind you that you're not alone. Now you have me."
...
The puppy cried when they bathed him together. He had sores on his body. They had to bathe him twice because he was so filthy and he had a bout of diarrhea the first time.
Will could see his Liam getting worked up. He called a vet clinic. "Come on, we better get him over there now."
"He's not going to die, Will?"
"No, he's just...I think he was abused a little." Will looked at sad Liam holding sad puppy and felt his heart cracking. He pulled Liam into his arms, holding them both. "But now he's got us, right?"
...
"He's sick at both ends. I brought you samples." Will handed the vet, a middle-aged woman, two plastic baggies he'd gathered of the puppy's leavings. "The, uh, the urine might be a little odd. Liam gave him Kool Aid by accident."
"He won't die from the Kool Aid, will he?" Liam asked. He was as squirmy as the puppy on the metal examination table.
"No. So, what's his name?" She was looking into the puppy's ears. Next, she examined the sores on his skin.
"I don't know," Liam said. "It takes me a long time to think of a name. When I named my fish Goldie, I thought of the name right away, but the boys at the gym thought it was a dumb name, so I tried all kinds of other names for a while. But she liked Goldie, so we went back to that one."
"Hmmm, looks like his fur being unwashed and possibly in some kind of damp environment led to a skin infection."
"Can you fix it, doc?" Liam asked anxiously.
"Yes. You'll have to wash him with a special shampoo, and blow dry his fur very carefully. Also, if he gets wet outside you’ll have to dry his skin. I'll put him on some prescriptions for the other things. And you are planning on fixing him, right? That's the responsible thing to do."
Liam frowned. "Um, yeah. Aren't we fixing him now?"
...
Liam was a little pale after it was explained what the vet meant, but after hearing about stray puppies being abandoned, he didn't need any more convincing. His puppy would be fixed when he was old enough! He also got a shot with a microchip in the back of his neck. The needle was so big that the puppy yelped and Liam cried and the vet and Will had to calm Liam down afterwards.
...
They returned to Liam's apartment, exhausted. Will's leg was giving off shooting pains: he knew he had to go home. Face his father. Take care of himself.
Liam crawled onto his bed, blinking up at Will miserably. "You'll come back soon?"
Will leaned down and kissed him. "I'll tidy up a bit around here first."
"Oh, I can do that."
"No, stay with the puppy. I want to do it."
Liam lay back, sad dark eyes watching as Will washed the dishes and stored away the food from that morning.
At last, Will had cleaned Liam's apartment. He knew he had only done it because he really wanted to stay.
He didn't want to leave Liam.
The cheap, puppy-stinky, tiny apartment felt more home to him than his cool, spacious rooms.
When he let himself out the door, he looked back and saw that Liam had fallen asleep on his bed, and the puppy was sleeping on top of Liam's chest. His throat tightened, and he felt unbearably lonely. He wanted to be on Liam's bed. Sleeping. Wrapped around the same warm body as the puppy.
"See you soon," Will whispered, before he gently closed the door on two days with his Liam.
Part 12 - Loss
"Haw-huh! Haw-huh! Haw-huh!"
"Hey, dude. You okay, man?"
Liam had both hands braced against the metal gate surrounding the city library.
"S-sure, ’m okay..."
"Man, you don't look too good. You got asthma or somethin'?"
"...No..." Haw-huh! "Running. I was just...running."
"Well, no offence, but I think you might want to take it easy. You look like you're in pain!"
Liam straightened, shaking his calves so they didn't cramp. He had one hand over his sore rib. He scrubbed away the mingled tears and sweat on his face with the other. "I'm okay, but thanks. You're a very...nice person."
...
On his way up his stairs to his apartment, Liam stumbled a little. He slumped against the hallway, closing his eyes.
"Liam? That you, boy?"
"Yes, sir, Mr. Trent. It's me. Hope I didn't wake you up any, it bein' so early."
"I got a call for you from that university where you work. They want you should call them back."
"Oh, thank you! I'll go out to the pay phone."
"Naw, come inside and I'll make you some Postum. You like my Postum, don't you?"
"Um...can you remember to put lots of sugar in it, Mr. Trent?" Liam went into his neighbor’s apartment, which was the same footprint as his own. Mr. Trent was eighty-five years old and he was afraid of people ever since his place had been robbed and some kids had beat him up--except for Liam. Liam had found him and called the cops, and then he'd had a word with the kids. He'd got back the silver frame with Mr. Trent's wife's picture, and he'd warned the kids that if they ever hassled Mr. Trent again, well, Liam would lose his temper, and he'd be very sorry about that, but that's how it was.
The elderly man nodded, putting a cold hand on Liam's big fist as Liam lifted the phone. His blue veiny hand had a real grip. "You need to be careful you don't hurt yourself, young Liam."
"No worries." Liam gave him a sunny smile.
"Don't kid a kidder, boy. You're hurtin' and I don't like to see it. You need to watch those ribs. Why are you pushing yourself so hard?"
Liam sighed. "I met someone. I want that he should respect me, you know? And I don't got too much goin' for me, 'cept my body. I want him to see me fight because..." Liam drifted off, picturing it. "Then he'd know I'm a man. He'd know I'm worthy of bein' his boyfriend. I need to fight for that, I know it. Nothin' in my life has come easy, but I'm going to be his. I want to be his so bad, Mr. Trent," the last was said in a mournful tone.
The older man sat down. "You don't need to get beat up for someone to care about you, Liam, and I'm surprised I have to tell you that." He shook his head. "Was this the young, slender boy with the cane and the glasses?"
Liam nodded. "He's gone now. He went back to his life and...I'm not part of it. Not really."
"I'll make you some Postum now. It won't help your heartbreak, but it will give you a little gas in your engine."
...
"Suspended? But, I don't understand, Ms. Flemming. I only ever missed two days, and I've done my job." Liam gripped the receiver. He scrubbed a hand over his hair, which was stiff with sweat. "So I need to get an advocate? I dunno, I'm...I'm not real good with things like this. I don't get it. I did my job, I swear! Please don't fire me, Ms. Flemming! Okay, yeah...I'll can come down and see you tomorrow. Ms. Flemming? Can I please go to work after I see you? I need to do my job...Oh. No, I'm sorry...I guess I didn't figure it right or somethin'. I don't mean to make things hard for you, I just...I really need the work. Hello? Hello?"
Liam put down the phone. "Guess it was a bad connection or somethin'," he told Mr. Trent.
He swayed and Mr. Trent got up and caught him, leading him to his lumpy old couch. He rubbed Liam's back as Liam sat there, head in his hands, trembling.
...
"Where were you?" Arthur's voice was like dripping ice. "I can't believe how inconsiderate you were! You didn't even return my calls!"
Will flushed, eyes on the Persian carpet in his father's big study. "I'm very sorry, father. I...I was helping out a friend."
"Friend? What kind of friend would take you from your father for two days?"
"He didn't take me. I just needed to help him out."
"He?" Arthur stood up and went over to his liquor cabinet. He banged out a drink, glaring at Will so Will would know who was responsible for Arthur taking a drink so early in the day. "Do I know him?"
Will chewed his lip.
"Well, I think I deserve some explanation!"
"Yes, you've...met him."
"At a faculty function?"
"No."
"At one of my business luncheons?"
"No."
"Oh, perhaps it was at the yacht club? No?"
Will shook his head, increasingly miserable. He knew he should be a man about this. He was old enough to see whom he wanted! But his father could always make him feel this way. As if anything he wanted was somehow small and insignificant.
He looked down at his fingers. Fingers that had confidently touched Liam. Controlled him. Comforted him. Taken care of him. Fed him cake. Let him come.
His fingers were empty now...and he felt smaller.
He didn't feel like the lover of a glowing man who rubbed against him needily, dark brown eyes pleading for Will's attention.
He felt invisible again.
"He's a...janitor," Will finished, knowing his father would force him to say it sooner or later. Needing it to be over. "He works at the school. Someone broke into his apartment and hurt his...pet, so he called me."
"Hmpph. A janitor. Is that what you want to be when you grow up, Will?"
"No, of course not, but he's a working man. He's not rich, but he works."
"He's a servant. How can he be your friend? I thought I knew all your friends!"
Will felt himself shrinking deeper into his protective shell.
"I seem to remember him. Wasn't he a big block of man? Sort of on the stupid side?"
"He's not!" Will's hands fisted. "He's...not stupid."
"William, your physiotherapist is waiting. You have to go work with her and then do some laps in the pool. You know very well what this kind of deviation from your healthy routine could mean. You could suffer from excruciating leg cramps, just from sleeping in a bed not your own."
Will flinched at the word deviation from his father's lips, but he knew he couldn't know...he'd never guess what his son had been doing and feeling.
"I'd like your word that you won't see this friend anymore, please."
The moment strung between them, brittle as ice. Always before Will had said yes, and gone back to his room, and brooded, and his father had given him some extravagant gift to reward him for his compliance...and, after a while, Will didn't ache as much for whatever it was he'd thought he wanted.
"No," Will said softly.
"What?" The drink slammed down. "William!"
Will turned and left the room, ignoring his father thundering his name.
He made it to the conservatory before the stress of confronting his father and the nights away from his regular exercise caught up with him.
He collapsed, his fist in his mouth to keep from screaming. The pain was so bad. His abused leg muscles tightened from his groin to his ankle, punishing him for his forbidden moments of freedom.
...
"This man. He'll do," Arthur said. He stabbed a finger toward a computer image of a professional boxer. "He should take care of the man who has attached himself to my William."
"Liam's not a pro. I'm not sure we can arrange for him to fight Gerrard."
"It says here that Gerrard has been suspended for a charge of domestic violence toward his wife, so any fight could act as a come back for him. If not for his wife ratting him out, he'd probably have had a chance at the title: he's very effective in the ring."
"Well, one guy who fought him never really recovered from the brain damage, that's sure. Are you sure about this, sir? It seems very extreme over some...lark on your son's part."
"I can't bear to think about my son--my son!--underneath that big brute. Will's soft: he doesn't understand that the homo is just a toy for a man like Will. He actually defended his...his harlot to me! Called him a friend! He's not fit to be in the same room as my son." Arthur rubbed his forehead with trembling fingers. "I once walked miles to save my son! I was suffering from a concussion myself. I shouldn't have been able to do it, but I did what it took to take care of William, and now I'll do what it takes to remove this trash from his life. I don't care if the homo leaves the ring a vegetable, just find a way to arrange it!"
Part 13 - Missing You
"Liam!"
"Yo, Charlie?" Liam wiped his eyes and went to his door. He said, "It's unlocked on account I'm home."
Charlie Gunn pushed inside, peering at Liam. He took a whiff. "Jesus' nightgown, boy! It smells like shit in here!"
"Oh, that's Puppy. Puppy goes a lot and I haven't taken the trash out yet. Gotta buy some more newspaper too, I figure. He goes through it quick."
Charlie saw the puppy hanging from one of Liam's big hands, nestled against his hip. "Liam, you didn't let Rick..."
"No! I swear! Will bought him for me."
"Well, as long as you didn't trade yourself for, uh--"
"Naw, I'd lie down for Will anytime. He doesn't need a puppy to get me to spread for him."
Charlie coughed. "That's...nice, Liam, but I really didn't need to know that."
"Oh. I guess that's sort of too much information, right?"
"Well, especially you bein' gay, boy. Not that I didn't know you were the one who would, er...well, never you mind about that! Just keep it to yourself."
"That I would lie down for Will, you mean?" Liam frowned. "I'm not ashamed of that, Charlie. I’d be proud that Will would want me enough for me to spread my legs for him. Not that he has. Yet. But I'm hopeful about it. I really want to spread for him soon."
"Gah!" Charlie held his head, groaning as if he were in pain.
"Oh," Liam said. "This is like...I'm tellin' you stuff you don't want to know, right?"
"Too much information, boy, but anyway, as a boxer, it would be better if people assumed you, uh, were the spreader, rather than the spreadee. Are we clear?"
Liam frowned. "Okay, I guess so. I'm not sure why it matters so much. I feel like a man when Will touches me."
Charlie shook his head. "Boxers are sort of retro, boy. You know that."
"Yeah." Liam smiled. "So how come you came to see me?"
"I got a call about setting up your next fight...but before we get into that, are you alright? You looked like you'd been cryin'. Will didn't hurt you none, did he?" Charlie looked fierce, reminding Liam how he'd been a fighter all his life.
"I was cryin'. I lost my job...or I might have lost my job. I find out tomorrow. I got to speak to someone about it."
"You lost your job? How come?"
"I don't know. Maybe they found out I'm not so smart? And now they'll know I'm really dumb 'cause I got to go talk to someone."
"You want I should come with you, Liam?" Charlie's voice was gentle.
"Would you, Charlie? That would be sensational. I'm not so good with this sort of thing. I don't understand why they don't like me anymore."
"I'm sure it's not personal, son."
"How can it not be personal? They want to take my job away from me. That's very personal, Charlie."
...
"I don't like the bruising still being so strong."
Charlie was standing behind Liam, holding his ribs as Liam breathed in and out.
"Are you in pain, Liam?"
"...A little."
"Liam."
"I can fight, Charlie, I promise you."
"Liam, it's not good for you to fight if you aren't at full speed. Anyways, I'm not accepting this fight for you."
"How come?" Liam sat on his sagging bed.
"It's not that I don't think you got heart, boy. I know you do. But this boy who wants to fight you...he's one of the top fighters in the country. I'm not sure why he wants you."
"Who is he, Charlie?"
"Gerrard Narone."
"He's a real contender," Liam said.
"Yeah, he's a fucking killing machine. I'm not sure why he wants you, and I don't like it."
"But if he wants to fight with me, I should do it, shouldn't I? I mean, since he's nice enough he wants to do that."
"Liam--" Charlie sat down next to Liam on his bed. He looked at the sleepy puppy and then over at Liam's aquariums. "I take good care of you, don't I?"
"Yeah, Charlie."
"Okay, then, so when I tell you I don't want you to meet this fella in the ring ever, then you know I'm tryin' to take care of you."
"I'm not afraid, Charlie."
"Well, I am, Liam. I am. Okay?"
Liam squinted at Charlie, trying to figure him out. "Okay. I always do like you say."
Charlie ruffled Liam's hair. "I'll drive you to the university tomorrow and we'll work somethin' out. Don't you worry about it none."
"It's just that...I have Puppy and Goldie and Blackie to take care of now. I can do without, but I have to make sure I take care of them. I'm their daddy. I need a fight soon to help pay for their food."
"Who the hell's 'Blackie?'"
"Goldie's boyfish friend. He's the black colored fish. Will bought him for me."
"And you called him Blackie?" Charlie laughed. "Don't you worry, none. I'll take care of you. If you run short of cash, I'll sport you some."
"I can't take your money, Charlie," Liam said. "If I don't take care of myself and my family, then what kind of man am I?"
...
"Liam?" A pale man who looked familiar called to Liam as he and Charlie headed toward SUB, the student's union building on campus where they were to meet Ms. Flemming.
Liam recognized him. "Hey, hey! You are Will's dad! I'm so happy to meet you again, sir!"
Charlie gave the approaching older man a sharp glance, sizing him up.
"Yes, well, I'd like to speak to you."
"That would be sensational!" Liam's face lit up. "I really, really like your son. He's very special, you know? I bet you are proud of him."
The hard face softened a little. "Yes, Will is...exceptional. Can I have a minute with Liam?" He raised an eyebrow at Charlie.
Charlie looked at Liam. "You want I should leave you alone with him?"
"Huh? Well sure, Charlie. I'll catch up with you inside. There's a Starbucks..."
"Yeah, I know where. See you in there, kid." Charlie looked back at the older man, and then shook his head, leaving.
"He's my trainer. He came with me today to help me out on account I'm maybe being fired."
"Fired? Because you've been found incompetent?"
"I don't know. They don't like me anymore, I guess. Or someone told them I'm dumb." Liam looked depressed.
"Well, a man like you...you are like a laborer, really, aren't you?"
"Uh, well, I work with my body."
"Liam...I'm here about my son."
"Is Will all right?" Liam's eyes widened. "He's okay, isn't he?"
"He's had a setback with his leg, but he'll be fine after some bed rest."
"Oh. Can I go to your house and see him? Please?"
"No. No, I don't think that would be a good thing."
"I wouldn't upset him none. I'd be really quiet."
"Liam, it's because of you that he's in pain. He's hurting because of you. I wanted you to understand that."
Liam stumbled over to one of the benches. Liam's father loomed over him, remote, studying him critically. "I...hurt Will?"
"Yes. He's disabled. He has special needs, and being with you for such a prolonged period of time wasn't good for his health. Also, he can't engage in any kind of activity which...excites him."
"But I didn't excite him, honest. Oh... Uh."
"Are you having a sexual relationship with my son?" Will's father suddenly bent close. His eyes were narrowed. He looked mean. Like he wanted a piece of Liam.
Liam blushed. "It's not right I talk about this with you. Without Will's okay, I mean."
"I'm his father! I want to know if you're fucking my son, you perverted...!"
Liam stood. Tears shone in his eyes since it hurt so much that Will's dad hated him. He'd wanted to make a good impression on Will's parents. "I can't talk about this with you. I'm sorry."
"Don't you turn your back on me, you fucking queer! I have a right to know!"
"It's...private. I'm sorry, sir, but I can't talk about your son none without him bein' around. It ain't right."
"You're nothing to him! Do you hear me? You're just some trash he picked up!"
Liam wiped his running eyes as he hit the glass doors into SUB. Then he headed over to the Men’s. He didn't want Charlie seeing him like this. His hands shook as he poured cold water on them. He looked in the mirror. Saw dark eyes and bruises. Looked away.
"Who are you kiddin'? He don't care for you none, and he never will. You never had a shot."
...
"Sexual harassment?" Liam blinked.
"Do you understand what it means, this complaint? It means that you were overbearing or suggestive to one of our young, impressionable students," Ms. Flemming's voice was icy. She was sitting behind her desk facing Liam and Charlie. She had dark hair that fell in soft waves down her face. She had really nice hair, Liam thought.
"Liam? Sexually harassed someone? That's not right!" Charlie barked. "Can't you see he's a few coins short of a dollar? He'd never do that. Never."
"Charlie?" Liam looked at his friend. "What? What did I do wrong?"
"Nothin'. Don't you worry about this, kid. This is bullshit."
Liam's eyes widened at Charlie's language in front of a lady.
"Mr. Gunn, you are not helping your friend's case."
"This case is bullshit! He'd never hurt anybody. Besides, he's got a boyfriend already."
"Having a boyfriend doesn't mean he isn't preying on innocent students."
"Who filed the fucking complaint?"
"Mr. Gunn!"
"Alright, I'm sorry. Liam's like a son to me. I'm sorry if I... Just tell me who filed the complaint."
"That's confidential."
"I can't believe anyone would have a problem with this boy. He's gentle."
"He's a boxer, I understand."
Charlie frowned. "He's an athlete, not a brawler, Ms. Flemming."
She sighed. "Yes, I'm sorry. You are correct. Well, Mr. Gunn, the complaint comes from a parent. Apparently Liam made advances to his son."
"I didn't make no advances on no one. I got a boy, Ms. Flemming."
Her eyes narrowed. "Did you meet this boy on campus?"
Liam looked at Charlie, feeling afraid. He wasn't sure what he should say. Charlie nodded at him, so he took a deep breath.
"Will's someone I seen in the library and I fell for him. But I never harassed him none. Um. He prefers to do all the harassing in our relationship."
...
"Phone call, Liam!"
"Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Trent. I didn't mean for you to be bothered."
"It's that boy you are sweet on."
"Will?"
Liam followed the elderly man back to his apartment and grabbed the receiver with a shaking hand. His throat tightened and he closed his eyes. "Will, is that you?"
"Liam, I've been thinking about you all day."
"Me too."
"First, is Goldie all right?"
"Yeah. She's swimmin' around more and the boy fish is swell, too. I bought him some colored marbles and a little island for his tank."
"What color?"
"Green. Green marbles."
"God, I miss you, baby."
"Will, I made you sick!" Liam breathed. He was trying not to cry, so he turned his back on Mr. Trent.
"Sick? Where did you get that idea?"
"Oh...um, 'cause you never called. I figured maybe...maybe you did too much and your leg got hurt."
"It's not your fault," Will's voice was caressing.
Liam put his arms around himself. "It is. I shouldn't have excited you!"
"I loved that you excited me! I want you to do that again. Soon."
"I miss you, Will. I feel like one big ache. Like nothin' has any color. Nothin' makes any sense. I just hurt 'cause you're not around."
"Baby, I'll send a car over so you can come see me tonight. I bought you something. Would you like to see it?"
"I don't think that's maybe a good idea. What about your father?"
Part 14 - Penetration
Liam gave the long black car a nervous look as it pulled up in front of his apartment building.
A man got out of the car and looked at Liam appraisingly. Liam was glad he'd showered and wasn't wearing his favorite tee shirt, which had puppy pee all over it.
"You are Liam? Mr. William sent the car for you. You are to come with me."
Liam swallowed and nodded. He opened the door in the back and slid in, feeling like he was entering a different world. The car had a new car smell and there was room even for Liam's long legs. He ran a hand over the upholstery. "Wow!" he said. "This is...nice, you know? You really feel like someone sittin' back here."
The driver smiled at him in the mirror. "Micro fiber. More practical than suede, but it feels like it, doesn't it? I suggested it when the car was purchased. Help yourself to a glass of champagne. Mr. William wanted you to be comfortable."
Liam saw there was a bottle chilling on ice in a little tray with a single glass. There was a piece of paper attached. It was Will's writing, he recognized. Have a glass, but not too much. It will relax you and prepare you for my gift.
Liam felt himself harden. He wiped his hands on his jeans, a little embarrassed, but he felt like the car, and the way he was being picked up...there was something sort of sexy about it. Like he was being brought to Will. He couldn't exactly figure why it was sexy, but it felt that way.
"I'm supposed to drink some," Liam told the driver, almost apologetically. "But I don't know how to open the bottle."
"Hand it to me, Liam," the man's voice was gentle. He had silver hair and kind brown eyes. He looked like he'd seen every kind of thing there was to see and it had made him...sad.
Liam liked him. He handed him the bottle.
"Mr. William is very...attached to you."
Liam gave a hopeful smile, flinching as the bottle was uncorked. He always found it scary when someone opened a bottle like that. "I love him," he said simply. "I ain't told him that, on account if you tell someone you love them, then they feel like obligated, you know? Like if they save your life or somethin'. But I love Will."
The bottle was handed back to Liam. "That's good. Mr. William needs to be loved. He wants to be a better person, Liam."
"Oh, he's perfect!"
"No, he's not. His father has...not been a good influence, I fear." The driver pulled out into traffic. "But he wants to be a good person. His mother was a good woman."
"Is she dead?"
"Yes. She died in the car accident in which Mr. William was hurt."
"I'm very sorry. I would have liked to have met Will's mother." Liam took a sip. Wrinkled his nose.
"You don't like the champagne?"
"I was just thinkin' that if I fed this to my puppy, he wouldn't want to drink it," Liam said.
...
"Thank you!" Liam went around the car and shook hands with the driver, startling him for some reason. "You drive real good. You must be proud to drive such a nice car!"
The older man smiled, his eyes lighting up. "I'm Gilbert. And I am proud. Go inside the house now, Liam. Up the stairs and you'll find Mr. William's room. He left the light on so you'd find it easily."
"He said his daddy was away," Liam said, reluctant to enter the huge, intimidating house. It looked sort of Spanish to Liam. Like Mr. Roarke's house on the old tv show, Fantasy Island.
"Yes, he's away on business for the weekend."
"You won't tell him I was here?" Liam bit his lip. "I hate to ask or nothin', since I know it ain't right, but I'm worried for Will. I only came here tonight to make sure he's okay."
"I won't tell. Go see Mr. William now."
Liam gave a frightened glance toward the looming house.
"It's just a house, with toilets and a kitchen like any other. And the people who live in it aren't really any different from where you live."
"I know that. I just feel...like I'm not good enough now I see this house. It makes me feel kind of dirty or somethin.'"
...
"He's a not good enough for my son," Arthur said. He poured himself a drink, and then offered one to his guest for the evening, boxer Gerrard Narone.
"Your son is a fag?"
"No! Will's not a fag. He's just very...impressionable. I have to protect him from this man, whom I don't think is very smart. In fact, I've wondered if Liam might be brain damaged. It's a risk in your profession."
Gerrard shrugged. He was heavily muscled with a thick forehead and thin lips. He was half black and half hispanic.
"What are those marks on your fist?"
"I was part of a gang for a while: before I got educated. So you're offering me a lot of money to take care of this fag for you, but his manager turned down the fight."
"Yes, Charlie something...I have an idea on how we might deal with him."
"Charlie Gunn was a real contender in his day. He's a tough man. He ain't gonna change his mind."
"What if he's not in the picture anymore?" Arthur sat down and pulled his linen slacks taut, smoothing them.
"What do you mean? He manages this Liam fella."
"Charlie Gunn has a gym in a bad neighborhood. Things can happen in bad neighborhoods."
Narone paused, thinking. Then he sipped his whiskey. "Uh huh. They can at that," he said.
...
Liam crept up the stairs. He was afraid to make too much noise. He knew that Will's father would be very angry he was here, but he had to know how Will was. He had to know if it was true what Will's father had said. If he made Will feel bad, he'd have to dump Will. He didn't want to do that. He wasn't sure if he could go on breathing if he thought he wouldn't be kissed by Will again...but he had to do what was right for Will.
If he loved Will, he had to show him by being a man about it.
"Liam?" The voice was soft, purring, and when Liam entered the huge white bedroom he saw Will lazing on silk white pillows, looking like a king or something.
"You look like a pale cat a little," Liam said, taking in Will's ruffled curls and heavy-lidded blue eyes.
"A lonely one." Will sat up and Liam saw impatience flash in his blue eyes. "Baby, come here."
"Will, I have to know if I made you sick. I don't want to excite you none till I know if it's bad for you."
"What?" Will's mouth tightened petulantly. He had dark circles around his eyes, as if he hadn't been sleeping. As Liam came closer he saw there were many pill bottles on Will's bedside table as well as water and fresh fruit. He came to stand in front of the bed, feeling shy. Feeling how he didn't belong.
Will's room smelled of fresh roses.
Liam's room smelled like fresh puppy shit.
"Did you wear your collar like I asked?"
"You didn't so much ask as told me."
"Did you?" Will looked a bit grumpy, but Liam guessed sick people felt that way. He watched Will reach for some water. Will's hand was shaking.
"Yeah."
"Strip for me. I want to see you wearing your kitty collar and only your kitty collar."
Liam flushed, feeling even more shy. What was he to Will? Did Will see him as trash, like his father said?
Eyes down, and feeling all churned up inside, Liam closed Will's door. Then, he hesitated. "If I get undressed will you try not to get excited?"
"What? Liam...what's wrong now?" Will groaned, rolling his eyes.
"Will that make you sick? Because if you get sick from...from feelin' the things a man does, then I'll stop."
Will shook his head. "Where do you get these ideas, Liam? I'm amazed at what goes on in your head!"
Liam's mouth formed a stubborn line Will had never before seen. "I'm not flashing my body for you unless you tell me whether I made you sick!"
Will groaned, sitting up. He lifted his bad leg, which was under his bed covers. "You could never make me sick. It's not your fault I'm sick."
Liam hovered near the door, feeling miserable.
"What is it, kitty?" Will asked gently, the purr back in his voice. As if he knew he had to lure stubborn Liam away from the door.
"Nothin'."
"Kitty's all pouty." Will held his hand out, blue eyes blazing the way they did when he touched Liam's naked body. "Come here, kitty."
Eyes on the floor, Liam went. His throat felt tight. When he sat on the edge of Will's bed, he exploded. "What do you mean 'what goes on in my head?' What am I to you? Am I trash to you, Will?"
Will's hand dropped. His eyes narrowed. He looked pissed. He leaned close and snared Liam's chin, raising it so that soft brown velvet had to meet hot blue. "Trash? Have I ever said anything to make you feel that way?"
Liam's eyes filled. "No."
"Then why am I hearing that out of your mouth? Has someone spoken to you? About...us?"
Liam looked away. He wanted to talk about Will's father, but he felt like it would be wrong. He'd be ratting on the man behind his back or something. He burned to talk to Will about it. To spill all his worry over his job and chatter about the fight he wished Charlie would let him accept, but instead he tamped it down deep. Will was sick. Liam shouldn't worry him.
"I'm just afraid that's how you see me, is all," Liam admitted.
"Well, I don't." Will still looked pissed. "You're mine. Look around you at all the fine things I own. And now I own you, don't I?"
Liam nodded, still feeling like puppy shit.
"And you are the finest thing I own."
Will's way of putting it didn't make Liam feel better exactly, but he was a little afraid of those bright, mad blue eyes.
"I think I'll start off by reminding you to whom you belong. Take off your clothes, Liam."
Head down, Liam obeyed. He wasn't sure why he did what Will said sometimes, but Will always sounded like he knew Liam would do stuff. That Liam wanted to do stuff and Will was only saying what Liam wanted anyway. It was sort of messed up in his head, but that's how it felt to Liam.
Naked, and wearing only the collar with William embroidered on it, Liam stood at the foot of Will's bed.
Will studied him, not saying anything.
Liam got hard. He cupped his hands over his balls shyly.
"You've been a bad kitty, thinking that I think of you as trash." Will's voice was silken. "What do you have to say for yourself?"
"I'm sorry?" Liam didn't know what to do. What to say. What to feel.
He felt like one of his dandelions, out of water. All his happy yellow mashed against linoleum.
"Come over and lie across my lap. Face down."
Liam cock leaped at the snap in Will's voice. He bit his lip, feeling aroused like he had when he lay on the table for Will. This was good. This was something he liked feeling.
He studied Will's slender lap, his eyes not quite daring to meet fiery blue, and then he timidly draped himself across Will's lap, his bottom sticking up a little, his face pressed against silk bedding. He held his breath. Waiting.
Will's cool fingers caressed his bottom.
Liam gave a needy little whine.
"You missed me, didn't you, baby?"
Liam nodded. He was suddenly crying. Tears running down his cheeks and onto Will's nice bedding. Why was he crying? It was like Will's gentle touch on his rear end was bringing out all the bad feelings Liam felt inside him, so they leaked out of his eyes.
"I'm angry that you called yourself trash. You deserve to be punished, don't you, for being such a bad kitty?"
Liam looked back shyly at Will.
"Jesus! You look so fucking hot with my collar on!" Will reached between Liam's legs and pinched his sack gently.
Liam gave a little yelp, rubbing his erection against Will.
Will's hand came down. Hard. He hit one of Liam's vulnerable ass cheeks, spanking him.
Liam jumped a little at the first lash, and then his body seemed to lose all tension, so that he could feel it flowing out of him, like water from a tap.
Will smacked him, not saying anything, just holding Liam's gaze sternly as tears seeped from Liam's eyes. "I'm sorry," Liam finally said timidly, like he knew Will was waiting for him to say that.
"You should be! How dare you call yourself that!"
"I'm...s-sorry. Not been myself since you left, Will."
"You just need me, don't you, kitty? Need me to make you feel better?" Will was rubbing Liam's reddened ass.
Liam nodded, loving that Will cared about him.
"Feel better now you've been spanked, don't you, kitty?"
Liam nodded again. He could feel Will's hardness. It made him feel drowsy and needy at the same time. He wanted to spread himself wide and let Will fill him.
"Do you want your present now, kitty?"
Since Will seemed to want to give him something, Liam nodded.
Will smiled, catlike. He reached for a bag and shook something out of the plastic. Liam's eyes widened when he saw what it was.
"Know what I'm going to do with this, don't you?" Will whispered. His face was cool and calm looking. A bit like the fat black statue that was sitting on his bedside table. Buddha. Liam knew the happy fat guy was Buddha. The Vietnamese grocer on his block had a Buddha, as well as a bright kitty cat with its paw raised.
"Yeah." Liam said shyly.
Will pulled out a tube of lube and applied it to the large dildo slowly.
Liam's eyes widened a bit at the size.
"You haven't taken anyone before so I thought..." Now there was vulnerability in the blue eyes. "Maybe this would get you used to it. Will you let me put it in?" Will whispered.
Liam studied him, worrying about those dark rings around Will's eyes. "I'd let you do anything to me you want," he said, hoping the thing would go in. It looked...big.
"So can I put it in?" Will asked again.
Liam nodded, trying to relax.
Gently, Will pulled apart Liam's ass cheeks. Liam was still draped over him like a blanket.
He rubbed the dildo through Liam's crease, moving it back and forth as Liam lay there.
"It doesn't look like it will fit," Will said, frowning. "It looked like it would on line, when I looked at pictures but...perhaps my research was faulty."
Liam didn't say anything. He swallowed, a little nervous. The thing had King Kong in bright green letters on one side. He thought it was too big too, but he didn't want to ruin Will's present.
Will put the lube on Liam's ass cheek and squeezed out more onto his fingers. Licking his lips, he pushed his fingers into Liam gently for the first time. He saw Liam looking at him with freaked out puppy eyes. "It'll be okay. It'll feel really good, I promise."
"Okay," Liam squeaked. He closed his eyes and felt Will's fingers inside him for the first time.
Will.
Was inside him.
He rubbed his cock against Will, giving another needy moan.
"Oh, kitty likes that?" Will's voice sounded like he was smiling again, so Liam smiled.
Will took his time, squeezing more and more lube into Liam's ass until the tube was empty. Liam felt his ass cheeks rub greasily against each other. His body was warmed and stretched.
Will's finger grazed his prostate and Liam gave a yelp.
"Did that hurt? Did I do something wrong?"
"No, that felt really sensational! 'Cept I can't take this playin' around no more. Please..."
"You need something inside you?" Will whispered. He was staring at Liam with an awed look on his face, watching Liam writhe on his bed, all brown muscled skin and long bones and sleepy brown eyes.
"Yeah," Liam admitted. His cheeks flushed because what he really needed was to be fucked.
Will pressed the dildo gently to Liam's entrance.
Liam's eyes flared a little as he felt that thickness slowly invade him. It didn't hurt but it was...
"Oh, man."
"What does it feel like?"
"Like I'm about to be fucked. Hard." Liam's eyes closed and he licked his lips. He loved that Will was filling his ass. At first, he hadn't been sure about taking something big and plastic inside him, but he realized now that it was Will. Will was doing this to him.
"You are." Will pulled it all the way out and slammed it back, hitting Liam's prostate.
Liam growled and pushed up to take the next thrust, his big, calloused fingers clawing the bed as Will fucked him with the big dildo.
The room was silent except for Liam's gasps and the slick sound of the thickness moving inside him.
He fucked it back, flexing to take all those inches into his greedy hole.
"Jesus, you are such a slut for it! Liam! Take it, baby. Take it, kitty!"
The tension snapped when the smooth edge hit Liam again. He shot all over Will's lap and then lay there in a messy, sweaty tangle, blinking up at Will, the thick dildo still sticking out of his ass.
"My God, you are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen!" Will said.
Liam closed his eyes, rubbing his face against Will's nice bedding. He didn't feel like trash now. He felt really sleepy.
"I did good, Will?" he asked, smiling.
Part 15 - First Blood
"Kiwi fruit?"
Will tried to keep a straight face when Liam pouted.
"But it's...green, Will. Veggies are green. I don't like 'em much. Only eat them 'cause I'm a fighter and Charlie don't let me eat dessert all the time."
"I should say not, you'd be fat and you wouldn't have all these lovely muscles." Will rubbed his face against Liam's taut bare stomach.
Liam giggled, his feet up in the air, naked as a baby, and loving it. He was lying on Will's bed, silken olive-skin, his hair rumpled. Fawn soft eyes looked at Will trustingly.
"Open up and stop pouting, pet!" Will laughed when Liam grimaced. "You'll like it."
"Can I have chocolate sauce on it?" Liam begged.
"You won't be able to taste it."
"Well, is it better than that cactus thing? I mean, I didn't like that none."
"That pear is considered a delicacy."
"Yeah, I guess." Liam didn't look too impressed. "I liked the raspberries. I can't ever afford 'em, but sometimes I pick 'em up and smell 'em."
"Oh, sweet. I'd feed you raspberries all the time." Will combed Liam's hair.
"Yours were yellow! I didn't know they came in any other colors." Liam smiled in remembered delight. Will had fed all the yellow raspberries to Liam. Sometimes he'd sipped the juice from Liam's lips, making Liam tremble with the need to belong to Will again. He wanted to ask if Will was going to fuck him, but he felt shy about it. He really wanted Will to push inside him and fuck him.
Will had insisted Liam stay over night, though Liam was scared about that. What if Will's mean dad came home? He hated Liam. But Will made Liam sleep next to him, and Liam had the strange sense, looking at all those bottles of pills by the bed and Will's over bright eyes that he needed Liam. Needed him to stay with him.
"Where is it from? I ain't never eaten green fruit."
"It's from... I think, New Zealand."
"Is that where they made Xena, Warrior Princess?"
Will blinked. "I have no idea."
"I think that's where they made that show. I used to watch it. I liked her. She was nice even if she used to be evil. So I guess they got green fruit and Xena. I guess that's nice for them."
Will tangled his fingers in Liam's hair, petting him. "You are so..."
"What, dumb?" Liam reluctantly ate some of the kiwi. "Sweet...and sour at the same time," he noted. He eyed the cut strawberries greedily. There was warmed chocolate sauce to go with them. Will had fed him one, but now he shyly reached out and dumped the entire bowl of heated chocolate on a couple of strawberries. He grinned and reached for them, closing his eyes and moaning at the taste.
When he was done, Will's predatory lips were there, licking the chocolate smeared little-boy like on his mouth and then claiming him with a kiss that made Liam's fingers dig into Will's arms. "You're way happier than you were when I came over last night," Liam said.
Will blinked. "Why do you say that?"
"Dunno, you just seemed sort of tense and bossy when I showed, but now you're like my Will again that stayed over at my place with me and Goldie and Blackie and Puppy."
"I'm not feeling cuddly, actually." Will took the warm chocolate and smeared some on Liam's nipples, circling and seeing them harden. He leaned down and sipped them, adoring one and then the other while Liam's heels dug into the bed and his penis hardened.
Will reached for it as he suckled, tugging lazily.
"Do you want me to finger you till you come?" Will asked in a dark voice. His blue eyes were heavy-lidded, as if toying with Liam made him hot and sleepy: like falling asleep in a patch of sunlight.
Liam blinked. "I dunno, I ain't never done that before. Is it nice?"
"Come here."
Will positioned Liam so his ass faced him. He was on his tummy with it raised for Will's easy access. Will put Liam's hands in front of him. "Don't move, kitty. You aren't to touch yourself while I play with you."
Liam squirmed, already very aroused.
Will lubed up three of his fingers, taking his time.
Then he pushed them steadily into Liam who groaned at the thick feel. "Three of them inside you, Liam! Baby, you take them so well."
"Will!" Liam squirmed, his face crinkled up, his eyes shut. He twitched, looking uncomfortable until Will found his warm spot and began to prod it gently.
"Oh, Will! Please, please touch me!"
"Kitty has such a slutty ass: needs something inside it."
Liam rubbed himself against Will's bedding, and Will allowed it, watching as sweat bloomed on the olive sweeping back and Liam's eye lashes fluttered. His lips quivered and Will pressed, pressed again. He marveled at the sight of his own fingers, buried up Liam's eager ass, fingering him and making him writhe on the bed, making him--
"Will!" Liam's cock spurted and he shuddered like a horse that had been thoroughly ridden. He fell over onto his back, his body open, so trusting.
Will reached for Kleenex and tenderly cleaned him off. "Don't I take good care of you, Liam?"
Liam was feeling full and sleepy, but something in Will's voice made him frown. It was almost like he was pleading with Liam. He turned around so he curled over Will's slighter body. "You take real good care of me, Will," he said, and felt Will relax.
...
Charlie rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he unlocked the gym for the day. He lived over top of it, which saved him some money, even if he didn't have a real oven, but only a hot plate upstairs. His muscles felt stiff from his light sleep. He looked at his watch and wondered where the Hell Liam was. He was supposed to be here to help Charlie move some equipment this morning. He looked outside in the alley and didn't see his big muscled and soft eyed fighter anywhere.
"Huh," Charlie grunted.
He shrugged, thinking Liam must have slept in. Liam always kept his word. He'd never gone back on it in all the years Charlie had trained him. Taken him in when he had no where else to go. Made him a fighter since he knew Liam needed to be a man and take pride in being one.
Charlie wandered back through his gym, feeling pride in ownership of his smelly dive. All this was his. No one made it easy for him to have it, and he'd paid for it out of his own blood and pain, but it was his.
He climbed into the ring, deciding to do a little shadow boxing to loosen up his old horse muscles before his fighters arrived for the day...
He heard the door bang open and called back to Liam, "Well, 'bout time you showed up!"
"Hey, old man, d'you know who I am?"
Charlie looked over his shoulder and snorted. "Yeah, I know. What the hell you want here? I'd think this place wasn't high end enough for you no more."
His visitor turned and locked the door behind him, which made all of Charlie's muscles tighten.
"Let's you and me talk."
...
Liam frowned, something on his mind, keeping him from falling asleep like he wanted. Suddenly he shot up in bed, waking a dozing Will.
"What is it?"
"I was supposed to do some stuff for Charlie today. An' I left Puppy with Mr. Trent to look after since he was nice about it, but Puppy is kind of...messy. I need to get home."
Will opened his mouth, as if he wanted to ask Liam something, but then they both heard the front door open. Liam flinched when he heard Will's father call.
Will tensed in the bed, his eyes like blue glass as he looked at Liam. "There's a servant's entrance one door down. You can take that out of the house: he won't see you. Wait behind the house. I'll send Gilbert to see you home."
Liam blinked, feeling bad somehow, as if he were something Will was just cutting loose.
"Okay." He got up, not feeling gorgeous anymore in his nudity, but ashamed somehow. He shoved on his clothes.
"The first door on the left," Will directed coolly.
Liam nodded, miserable. From below, they both heard Will's dad call again.
Liam was at Will's door.
"Liam, I will come for you again," Will promised softly.
Liam nodded, trying to smile. He saw the mess on Will's bed, chocolate and fruit, and he remembered how good he'd felt. Now, it felt all over.
He tip toed over to the door for servants and disappeared down the staircase.
...
Liam pushed Charlie's door open, glad he had managed to get here early enough so Charlie maybe wouldn't be too mad at him. He'd probably only make Liam do a few extra sit ups or something.
He really wanted to talk to Charlie. He wasn't sure how he was feeling, but he thought maybe he was feeling kind of bad, after Will had sent him away, and maybe talking to Charlie about it would help. He always seemed to make sense of things.
The lights were still off. Frowing, Liam flipped the switch by the door. "Yo! You around somewheres, Charlie?" he called, feeling something cold prickle his back. This wasn't like Charlie. Charlie was always here. The gym was always open by six. Always.
Liam's gaze hit the ring. His eyes widened in shock. "Charlie!"
...
"Are you family?"
Liam didn't want to lie, but he had a feeling they wouldn't let him see Charlie if he told the truth. He nodded to the woman. "We have some forms," she began.
"I just want to see him, please?"
"Someone will need to make arrangements."
"I'm sorry. I’m not good with flowers." Liam was crying. He'd been here for hours. No one would tell him anything. They just scurried by where he sat as if he wasn't a real person. As if he wasn't sitting there with his head in his hands, sobbing.
The woman blinked at Liam. "I mean that there are details to be seen to. His insurance, and other...other things have to be arranged, Mr.?"
"I'm Liam. Can I see him now? Please?"
"Oh, has no one told you?"
"Told me what? I been here all day, Miss. Please, I just want to be with Charlie. He'll tell me what to do and then I'll do it."
Her eyes softened and she came around her desk, not looking so mean now. "Come with me. I'll take you to him."
...
There were all kinds of wires hooked up to Charlie. He was a big man, so he almost was too big for the bed they'd given him. Liam took it all in, frightened. All the wires and the tubes and the thing that sounded like a heart beat...it made it all so serious.
"Liam," Charlie spotted him right off. His face was swollen, but it wasn't the worst of it. He'd cried when he'd been lifted on the stretcher. Cried because he hurt so much.
Liam had never seen Charlie Gunn cry.
It made him really scared inside.
"Charlie! They didn't let me come see you."
"...was asking for you," Charlie whispered. "wha I'm doin' here, Liam?"
"You're in a hospital, Charlie. I done called an ambulance and everythin' for you."
"Good, that's good, Liam." Charlie blinked. "I hate this place. When you're an old...you c-come here alot." He coughed and Liam's shaking fingers reached for water for him. Charlie turned his head and it slopped against the side of his cheek.
"You was...was beat. Bad."
"Oh, right, I 'member now." Charlie closed his eyes a moment. He reached out and took Liam's hand. The veins on his cocoa skin stood out from the sticks of his fingers. Liam stared at that hand, thinking it looked like a broken fan he might find down in China town.
"Charlie!"
"Liam, you are going to have to be brave. Do you think you can do that for me?"
"I don't want to be brave." Liam put his forehead against Charlie's hand, sobbing.
"I know, son. And I wish you didn't. But my body...it's all broke up inside now, and there's no fixin' it, so you and me, we have to..." Charlie's face tightened and Liam knew he was hurting. "We have to deal with that. Tough it out. We can do that on account we're both fighters, right?"
Liam bent over Charlie, tracing his face, tracing cocoa lines and looking into warm brown eyes. "I can't go on without you, Charlie."
"Yeah, you can. I've set some things aside for you. Don't I always take care of you?"
Liam's tears fell on Charlie's cold hand. "Please don't leave me, Charlie. Don't go."
"Liam, I have to tell you somethin', only I can't remember now. Where are we?"
"In the hospital, Charlie." Liam saw Charlie seemed more hazy, as if he had taken too many punches. He was going down for the count. Liam could feel it. "Charlie, stay with me. I can't get by no good without you."
"I love you, boy."
Charlie's hand was in his hair, ruffling it that way he always did with Liam alone. Liam was bent over Charlie. His head resting carefully on his chest, listening to Charlie's heart beating.
Charlie's hand stroked Liam's hair.
And then, Charlie's hand slowed...faltered...and stopped.
Liam made himself look at Charlie. Made himself see what he didn't want to see. Tough it out. He had to be a man, a fighter, like Charlie taught him.
"Goodbye, Charlie," he whispered.
Part 16 - Invisible
Previously: Charlie's hand was in his hair, ruffling it that way he always did with Liam alone. Liam was bent over Charlie. Liam's head was resting carefully on his chest, listening to Charlie's heart beating.
Charlie's hand stroked Liam's hair.
And then, Charlie's hand slowed...faltered...and stopped.
Liam made himself look at Charlie. Made himself see what he didn't want to see. Tough it out. He had to be a man, a fighter, like Charlie taught him.
"Goodbye, Charlie," he whispered.
I wanted to thank whomever nominated Xander's Beast and myself for a special mention at the Fang Fetish Awards. Thank you!
This is a very quiet chapter. Just...had to do this one. It's short too, but I felt it was really necessary before the narrative pushed on. I won't say more. I'll be interested in how you feel.
Betaed by the wonderful kitty_poker1
Will/Liam AU NC 17
Will is a shy student, Liam is a part time janitor/boxer
Memorable entries for The Janitor.
Liam stretched his legs and back against the brick wall of the hospital, warming up his muscles.
It was still dark outside, but the lack of light was soothing.
He'd cried a lot. His eyes burned.
He ran a hand over the brick, feeling it rasp against his fingers. He'd wrapped his hands in the men’s. He was still wearing his grey sweats with Charlie's blood on them.
He looked down the grey and brown street, as empty as a closed bowling alley.
And then he didn't know what else to do, so he ran.
I want you to do your road work, kid. No excuses. I want four miles out of you before your next fight. You hear me?
...
He started off light. Just barely skipping along.
He could hear the slap of his running shoes, echoing through the narrow space where tall, squished buildings made him feel small.
Alone.
Alone now.
...
He stretched his arms, blowing out the hot air inside him, feeling his body stoking up like a bellows.
He ran past a newspaper truck, filling up one of the stands downtown. A light fog had rolled in, so the lights seemed distant, like the stars.
He was moving easier now. Just beginning to feel the burn in his calves.
He tried to keep up with the truck.
Running stronger now. Punching the air around him. Shadow boxing. Fighting nothing he could see, but it's what he did. Who he was.
His hips moved loose like oil now, the sweats around his waist a band of warm sweat.
He ran through the law buildings; all those important people worked here, and he was just a shadow running past. He saw his face reflected in the glass windows, cheeks red, eyes asking why, and then it rippled past and he was gone.
Just a shadow.
It was like he was the one who was dead, and no one would see a man like him.
Charlie was gone now, making him just a little bit more invisible.
...
"Liam? Are you in there?"
The door to Charlie's Gym creaked open cautiously. Mr. Trent squinted into the darkness. In his arms, something brown and restless squirmed.
Not getting an answer, Mr. Trent pulled the heavy door open and used a block to hold it. He reached for the lights.
They blinked on.
And he saw Liam.
Sitting with his back against the ring, his sweat shirt soaked, with little water colors of rusts and reds blooming over it like an artist's brush dipped in water.
"I heard about Charlie Gunn, Liam. He was a stand up guy, all the way."
Mr. Trent put down Puppy, who wagged his tail as he explored this new, empty space.
Behind Liam, Mr. Trent could make out the chalk outline of a body. There was yellow tape around it, marking it as a crime scene.
"Should you be in here, son?"
"Ain't got no place else to go," Liam whispered. "My feet just took me back here. Back to Charlie."
Despite his stiff joints, Mr. Trent managed to work himself down to sitting next to Liam. He looked at him. Then he pulled Liam's head onto a bony shoulder.
Big tears continued to grow and spill from Liam's eyes.
"It's my fault!"
"What? Surely not. The cops don’t know who attacked him."
"I was s'posed to meet up with him in the morning, but I forgot on account I stayed over with Will and ate kiwi fruit. So while I was havin' kiwi fruit, someone beat Charlie."
"Liam, whoever did this just would have come back another time. It seems as if this person really wanted to hurt Charlie: he wasn't robbed, he was just beaten. So you can't hold yourself responsible."
Liam shook his head. "I hear you say the words and I know...I know that's right, what you're sayin', but inside, where it counts, I just don't feel it, you know? I feel like he's dead because of me."
Puppy chewed on one of Liam's socked feet until Liam lifted the little guy gently into his hand, stroking him over and over as hot tears splashed the back of his hand and Puppy's fur like rain that would never stop falling.
...
Liam got off the phone. He was back at Mr. Trent's apartment now. He'd taken care of his fish and fed Puppy, but he hadn't taken any time for himself, so he was unshaven and still wearing his blood-stained sweats.
"I have to meet with the dude who did all of Charlie's fixings."
"His executor? Do you need help arranging for Charlie's..?" Mr. Trent cleared his throat. Liam had finally stopped crying, but his eyes looked sunburned, blasted by his grief.
"No. Charlie made...he had that all set up, like." Liam said. He rubbed his forehead. "I dunno why this guy wants to see me."
"Charlie probably wanted to make arrangements for you too, Liam."
"Why would he do that?"
"Because you were his," Mr. Trent said firmly. "Just because he's gone, doesn't mean he wanted to stop taking care of you. Love...doesn't stop just because someone's gone." Mr. Trent looked at the picture of his wife that Liam had rescued and returned to him. He glanced back and saw Liam's lips tremble, so he went to make some Postum. He added a bit of whiskey to it. "I'll go with you, if you like."
"Oh, would you, Mr. Trent? I don't want to bother you none, but I'm kind of scared. This guy who wants to see me is a lawyer and everything. Like on Law and Order?"
"Should you call your young man?"
Liam gave the old-fashioned black phone a longing look, before his brown eyes saddened. "No. Will only wants me to play around with."
"Liam, you are a sweet, loving young man. You deserve better. You know that, right?" Mr. Trent handed him some Postum. Liam made a face, but he had to drink what was offered him: Charlie had taught him to be polite that way.
"Naw, it don't bother me none. I don't want to bother him with my problems."
...
Mr. Trent followed a dazed Liam into Charlie's apartment. The executor had arranged for everything Liam didn't want to go to Charlie's favorite charity, so Liam was here to take a look around.
Mr. Trent took Liam's hand. "This will be hard. Think of it as gifts, gifts that Charlie wanted you to have."
"I don't know how to handle all this stuff, Mr. Trent. It's too much!"
"Art school, Liam! You can do that now, with what Charlie left you."
Liam's big fingers brushed the hot plate. "He didn't even have an oven. What was he doin', saving all that money so long?"
"He was saving it for you, Liam. Because he loved you. Because he wanted to make sure you were secure."
Liam sobbed and Mr. Trent rubbed his back. "Come now, you need some sleep. We'll come back here later and do this."
Tame as a fawn, Liam let the small, elderly man lead him from Charlie's empty rooms.
...
Mr. Trent looked in at Liam and saw he was asleep, his big body curled around a sleeping Puppy. Mr. Trent had ordered him to shower and, when he'd gone to do that, had taken Liam's sweats to toss in his own garbage. He didn't want Liam to see them anymore.
He went back to his apartment, hesitated a moment, and then made a call.
Part 17 - Trash
"I'm afraid that at this time we don't have any work for you, Liam," Ms. Flemming told Liam firmly, as if wanting to cut him off before he could argue.
Liam listened dully. His throat felt too tight for words anyway.
"The university will get in touch with you should we ever require your services again. You'll receive your next pay stub and check in the mail." She hung up before he could say anything. Liam studied the phone and then put it down.
Mr. Trent came over with more Postum. "Lose your job, son?"
Liam nodded. He sat down and cupped his hands around the warm drink as if it were his only comfort.
"Charlie's gone now so I didn't have a chance of dealin' with it. He always kept fightin' stuff like that, until people would give in to him, but I'm not Charlie."
"You don't need that job. Charlie left you the gym."
Liam nodded. "I need a bit more sugar, Mr. Trent." He got up and headed for Mr. Trent's tiny kitchenette.
"Son, no! You're my guest, I'll get it for you--" Mr. Trent had his hand on Liam's bicep, trying to pull him out of the kitchen, but Liam had already opened the cupboard where the sugar was stored. And seen cat food. And nothing else. He frowned and opened the other cupboards. There was no coffee. No tea. No anything but a tin of Postum, a single plastic bottle of whiskey and cat food. "I didn't know you had no cat, Mr. Trent."
Mr. Trent sagged. "I don't."
"Then why you got all this pet food?" Liam wrinkled his nose at the tuna. He didn't like fish much. It tasted...well, fishy.
"Pet food is cheaper than human food. I can't afford much since they raised our rent in this rat hole." Mr. Trent's shoulders were slumped with shame. He had the same look he’d had when Liam had retrieved his wife's photo, as if he wished he could have been the one to do it.
"That ain't right!" Liam slammed the cupboard doors closed, bam! bam! bam! "You fought for our country. This is wrong, Mr. Trent!"
"No, kid, this is life if you live too long."
Liam paced back and forth, showing more vitality than he had since Charlie's death. Suddenly he swung around. "I can't run that gym on my own. I need someone who can help me. You used to be a bookie, didn't you, Mr. Trent?"
Mr. Trent coughed. "I can keep books, son."
"Okay, can you do that for the gym? Keep us from going under?"
Liam took Mr. Trent's arm and led him back to the sofa. "And I'll pay you to do that. I'll also need someone to look after Puppy when I can't, so I was wondering... Well, I thought I'd move into Charlie's old apartment, and across the hall there's another, but...they need fixing. I don't want to live like this no more. I want...nice. You know? Maybe color on the walls?"
Mr. Trent covered his eyes. Liam gave him a moment. "Please, will you help me out, Mr. Trent?"
When Mr. Trent looked up, he had tears brimming. Liam swallowed, afraid for him. Knowing how proud he was, and not wanting to make him feel bad.
"It's you who is helping me out, son, and don't think you're fooling me any, but I will do it. I'll come and live in your building. Only thing is, I'm not really good at renovation stuff either. What about your young man? Didn't you say he had a nice home?"
Liam shook his head. "I think he don't want me no more."
"I'm sorry. I thought after I...er, well, I expected he'd come by and see you, is all."
"Naw, he liked me, but now...maybe I'm like the bag you leave at the curb, you know? He's all done with me," Liam said softly.
This time it was Liam who had tears brimming in his eyes.
...
Liam walked through the empty, closed gym. He brushed a hand against one of the heavy bags, remembering Charlie holding it when he'd shown off for Will.
Will.
He missed him so much.
Was he still sick?
He fretted, wondering about the black rings around Will's eyes.
He remembered what Will had done to him and his cock swelled. He sat down and gave a little moan, stroking himself through his jeans. He wished Will were here so he'd strip down and Will could play with him.
Did Will think about him as often as he thought of Will?
Impulsively, Liam went to the phone in Charlie's office. His hand hovered over it as he remembered the personal number that Will had given him. He ached to just hear his voice.
He sat down and stared at the phone.
...
"Liam?"
Liam saw the car and Gilbert and a big grin stretched his face. At last! Will! Will had come for him!
Gilbert silently gave Liam an envelope.
"Money?" Liam looked at all the greenbacks. They weren't all wrinkled and dirty like money he usually saw, but crisp, as if they'd come straight from the bank.
"Yes, I was instructed to make sure you got that."
"What for?" Liam's brown crinkled. He tried to return the money.
"To take care of you until Master William can see you again."
"But..." Liam's eyes suddenly widened. "Does Will think he has to pay me to--"
"I have to get back," Gilbert said stiffly.
"I can't take this. It ain't right...I mean, Will doesn't have to pay for it. He...he doesn't, all right?" Liam's voice cracked.
"I'm sorry, Liam. He didn't confide in me. He's not been himself. He's been staying in his room, and I believe he's been taking a lot of his pain medication."
Liam watched the car drive off. He turned and looked at the empty, echoing gym and then he shot his fist into the metal door, denting it and making his knuckles crack and bleed. He leaned against the door, fighting tears.
Then he decided just where he'd go.
...
The Dark Kitty club wasn't Liam's favorite pick up place, but it was still light out so it was as good a place as any. He looked around, hoping to see someone he'd been with before. Someone who'd maybe be a little nice to him.
A hand covered his at the bar.
Lindsey.
Lindsey did it for money sometimes, Liam knew. He'd always avoided him, even though Lindsey tried to be nice to him. His eyes were just too hungry when he looked at Liam. He scared him a little.
"All alone tonight, pretty?"
"It's only four o'clock," Liam mumbled. He wondered why he'd come here. His hands played with his Shirley Temple. He ate the cherry that came with it, avoiding Lindsey's predatory gaze.
"You haven't been here for months. I was sure you had a boyfriend."
Liam felt his eyes water. He took a deep sip, choked, and Lindsey patted his back. "Oh, so that's the way it is. He broke up with you?"
Liam moved back a little. He thought maybe this hadn't been a good idea, coming here. Charlie had just died and the funeral was tomorrow, and nothing was like it had been. He wished his life could be what it was a week ago. Then, he'd had a job, and a boy, and Charlie.
He covered his eyes.
"Rum," Lindsey ordered. "With cherry coke."
A real drink was put in front of Liam. He blinked at it.
He knew better than to drink things given to him by men in places like the Dark Kitty. Charlie had come here with him when he'd first wanted to go catting around to give Liam a few lessons on how to take care of himself. He'd lectured Liam sternly on never leaving his drink and coming back to it, or accepting drinks from the strange men Liam's innocence attracted.
But Charlie wasn't here anymore.
The lump in Liam's throat felt too huge to swallow.
He took Lindsey's drink.
...
The car arrived later that night. Mr. Trent was pacing the hallway. He looked down the stairs and saw Liam's young man. "About time you showed up!"
"I've not been myself..." Will massaged his leg. "Is Liam here? I've been worried about him. You said he needed me."
Mr. Trent huffed. "Last I knew he was at Charlie's gym, but I went by there and I couldn't find him."
"Where would he go?"
"Well, the only places Liam ever goes at night the rare times he's out are his art classes or..." Mr. Trent broke off, biting his lip.
"What?" Will hobbled up painfully to the old man. "Look, I don't know what's wrong and I'm sorry I didn't come here before but the truth is..." Will looked away, his jaw bunching.
Mr. Trent saw his hands were shaking. He had dark circles under his eyes and he was sweating. "You're an addict, aren't you, boy?"
Will let out a sigh. "No. Not quite...but sometimes if I take the pain meds too long, I find it hard to...to go back to normal."
"You were in withdrawal the past few days?"
Will gave a tight nod. His mouth was tight. "I didn't want to appear weak around Liam. Look, I have it all under control," Will broke off, flushing. "I'm sorry I couldn't come when you called, but I sent Liam some money, just in case."
"Money?" Mr. Trent grabbed Will's arm. "Excuse me, but that might have been the worst thing you could have done!"
...
Outside in the alley, Liam stared up at the street lamp. It looked a bit like a hazy, round moon, except it had bugs inside it and he could see the bulb flicker. He leaned against the brick wall, tears running silently down his face.
He was crying again and he couldn't seem to stop.
The drinking didn't help stop the tears.
Lindsey had convinced him he needed some fresh air, which he knew was a bad...bad idea, for some reason--
Lindsey pushed Liam to his knees. Liam swayed, feeling like he was maybe going to be sick. "I like cherries," he mumbled.
"Yeah, so you said. I got one you can suck on." Lindsey's cock was suddenly in his face. "Liam...shhh, you don't have to be scared. If your boyfriend broke up with you, I'll take over. I've always liked you."
Liam shook his head, swaying. Lindsey was swaying too. He didn't seem so mean now. Liam saw the same loneliness in his eyes, but...
"Come on, I spent a lot of money on your drinks tonight," Lindsey pleaded. He was caressing Liam's hair. He leaned down and kissed his forehead. "I'm...crazy about you, and you should be with me. We're alike."
"I'm not--"
"Yes, you are. You're no better than the rest of us." Lindsey's fingers bit into Liam's cheeks, holding him steady. His eyes were suddenly sizzling blue. "Charlie protected you from me but he's gone now, and I've always wanted you, so if your boyfriend won't take care of you, I will!"
Lindsey shoved Liam close, so that Liam's lips brushed Lindsey's hardness. Liam turned his mouth, so sick and dizzy, not wanting this, trying to tell Lindsey no--
Something slammed into Lindsey's face. Liam watched as it hit him again. And again. A...stick?
He jolted to his feet as Lindsey started screaming, pulling a knife--
Will.
Will, holding his cane.
His face was bone white. His lips were snarling. His eyes, crazy blue.
Liam grabbed for the cane when Will raised it again, recognizing the look of a killer--
"No, no, Will!"
"Whore!" The cane slammed into Liam's stomach, shoving him out of the way and hitting his healing rib. He gasped and fell, and next thing his hands were grabbing the alley wall as he vomited.
He turned his head after the first heaves and saw Lindsey glaring at Will, holding his knife.
Will was holding his cane up, ready to go for Lindsey.
Just then, Gilbert ran into the alley. He put a hand on Will's shoulder, standing with him, but also restraining him, Liam thought.
"Fuck you both!" Lindsey yelled. "And fuck you too, Liam!" He kicked Liam so Liam's right hand slid into his own vomit.
Liam heard Will snarl and Gilbert talking softly to him, trying to calm him.
He was afraid to look at Will.
...
Gilbert gently raised him to his feet, giving Liam a handkerchief to wipe his mouth and hands. Will had his back turned. Liam could see he was shaking.
Liam's head was pounding and he was dizzy.
Stuff...just didn't make sense to him.
"I didn't," he mumbled to Will's back. "I didn't do nothing wrong, I swear."
Will swung around. His eyes were searing blue, like noon sky. He hobbled over to Liam so they were face to face. "I want to kill you right now," he whispered. Then he struck Liam across the lips.
Liam had been hit in fights, over and over.
Will's little blow was nothing.
And it was everything.
Part 18 - Come Together
"I didn't," he mumbled to Will's back. "I didn't do nothing wrong, I swear."
Will swung around. His eyes were searing blue, like noon sky. He hobbled over to Liam so they were face to face. "I want to kill you right now," he whispered. Then he struck Liam across the lips.
Liam had been hit in fights, over and over.
Will's little blow was nothing.
And it was everything.
...
Liam burst into tears. He covered his face and fell at Will's feet. "I'm s-sorry! I'm sorry."
He felt stiff, cool linen against his skin. Felt the wire-tight feel of Will's legs against him, and he knew it was too late. He'd done something bad, only he hadn't meant it that way.
Will crouched down. "You were my David! I used to look at you in the library and admire the...the proportions of your arms." Will was crying. Liam was even more frightened by that than by Will's sudden, mad violence.
Will shook Liam so his head swayed back and forth, helpless as a doll in the delicate, vicious hands. "The way you moved. So graceful. So enticing." Shake. "How could you? How could you make me feel things for you and then--" Shake! Shake! He was crying. Liam was crying. Fragile, both of them, broken like glass, lying on the dirty asphalt.
Liam's head felt like it would pop through his ears from the alcohol and his rib hurt. He hurt and he was dizzy and words were flying and feelings were gushing out like vomit and blood. Gushing out, faster and faster, so he couldn't make sense of it...
"Master William!" Gilbert. Gilbert's careful hands were separating Will from Liam but Will didn't want to let go. His hands -- claws -- dug in and pulled Liam up on his knees, their faces close together. Sneering blue eyes, sizzling with pain, and wet brown eyes saying over and over I'm sorry. Please, I'm sorry.
"We're going to put you in the car. Put both of you in the car, sir." Gilbert guided Will and Will tugged Liam, Liam's wrist in his hand as if Liam were his prisoner and Will would never set him free.
Blubbering, Liam begged through lips stinging from Will's slap, "Please don't hate me, Will! I wasn't doing anything with Lindsey. He wanted me to, only I was trying to say no."
Gilbert had Liam now, guiding him gently after Will into the car.
Liam crawled into the luxurious den, a ragged little wolf who had been mauled by the pale fangs of his alpha. He peered at Will in the semi-darkness anxiously. "I can't go on livin' if I know you’re mad at me," Liam told Will, desperate to reach him. "I want to die. If you still want to kill me, then I want that. I want to d-die right now. I don't want to go on livin' if you got a heart full of hate for me." He was sobbing wildly now, completely broken.
Will closed his eyes, his hard profile unforgiving.
"I wasn't doing him! I would never take him in my mouth. I only want you there."
"I've never hit anyone before or been in a fight," Will whispered. His eyes looked unnaturally bright in his pale face. "I could have killed that man, and all because I found him with you. I wanted to rip the skin off your bones."
Liam dared to crawl a little closer over the cool, slick material of the car seat until he was nearer to the warmth of Will's body. "I'm crazy in love with you, Will. Don't be mad at me?"
Will covered his eyes, as if he wanted to block the memory of what he'd seen. "Liam, I'm angry! Don't!"
"I know, but don't be."
"He was...very attractive." Will shoved back his curls. "He wasn't a cripple who can't--"
Liam nuzzled his face against one pale fist on Will's knee. "He's not you."
"He was attractive. I could see that." Will looked away, his jaw flexing.
"He's not you!"
Will glared at Liam, but Liam wouldn't back down from his beast. He gave the back of Will's hand a pleading little massage.
"I ain't that smart, you know? But now I'm thinkin' that you bein' so upset was maybe sayin' I love you, just a little."
Will's blue eyes were startled, as if he were a wolf who'd suddenly been spotted in the wild.
He swallowed. Shifted in his seat. Then he grunted out, "Why the hell did you go to that place?"
"I messed up." Liam looked away in shame, but his fingers continued their imploring dance over Will's fist. Will didn't shove him away. He was listening. "You gave me money for lying down for you, and Charlie's funeral is tomorrow--"
"What?" Will's nostrils flared. He reached up and snapped on the overhead car light. He glanced at Gilbert. "Give us some privacy, please, Gilbert, and just...drive around for a while."
Gilbert looked back, studying Will. "Yes, Mr. William." He looked satisfied over something. Liam thought he might have winked at him before the panel slid shut, leaving Liam and Will alone together in the back of the big, important car.
They sat in awkward silence for a moment, Liam peering anxiously at Will's stony profile. Liam snuffled and suddenly Will looked at him.
Brown eyes pleaded with fiery blue ones.
Will made a pained noise and snatched a willing Liam into his arms. Crushing him. His delicate hands dug into Liam's bones, but Liam only made a happy noise in response.
Will's hand slid into Liam's hair, comforting him. "Stop crying."
"I can't help it!" Liam wailed. "Everything's messed up!"
"Liam, what happened to Charlie?" Will asked gently. He raised Liam's face, holding it in his palms.
"He got beat up. Someone just came into the gym while I was with you the other day and beat him. Broke his ribs and..." Liam broke off, sobbing.
"Oh, God, I'm sorry! I didn't know or I swear I would have come sooner!"
Liam collapsed, crying softly in Will's arms. Will held the longer, bigger body while Liam curled himself into a ball, trying to climb onto Will's lap. Needing to be completely covered in Will. Almost wishing he could crawl into Will's skin and curl up inside him like Puppy.
"I'm so sorry." Will kissed his cheeks. "I didn't know. I didn't know."
"You didn't call me," Liam accused. His brow wrinkled. "I thought you'd got what you wanted from me."
Will blinked. "No, I'm fairly sure that will take several thousand years."
"Y-yeah?" Liam rubbed his face against Will's neck. Needy for reassurance.
"Pretty sure, yes." Kiss. "So after Charlie died you decided to go to that club? Why didn't you call me?"
"I dunno. I didn't want to bother you none." Liam saw the way Will raised a brow at him, and he flushed. "Okay, it was because you paid for it, for me to be with you. Why'd you do that? You hurt me, Will!"
"No, Liam," Will said firmly, pulling away to confront his boxer. "I sent you the money so I’d know that you had enough to take care of Puppy and your fish. I just wanted...to take care of you."
"So you don't see me as trash?" Liam said hopefully.
Will's temper flared in his eyes. Liam crashed his mouth against Will's to cool that angry fire. To appease his pale, slender god.
"No, I see you as mine," Will said, very softly.
"I think that means you love me a little, doesn't it?" Liam fished.
Will laughed. Then his face got serious. He lifted his hands, which were shaking. "I also have a problem. I didn't want you to know." Now Will looked away from frank dark eyes.
"You ain't alone anymore, Will. You got me and Puppy and Goldie and Blackie."
"Liam...when I'm in pain from my leg, I feel bad about myself, how I'll never be like you?" Will looked out the window at the store fronts whizzing past. "I...I have trouble finding my way back sometimes. The last time it happened, it took months. My father helped me recover last time. Insisted I spend more time at the university, which is where I met you." Will looked back at Liam and street lamps colored the shy smile.
Liam smiled back.
"But this time, I almost felt trapped. As if my father wanted me to stay in my bed, under his roof. But if I stayed... I felt like I'd always be a little boy forever with a crippled leg? I don't want to stay there and be guided by my father anymore. I want to be with you. I want to try to be a man for you."
Liam's arms wrapped around Will. "It's okay. I know lots of guys who have problems with wanting to be stronger and stuff, and maybe bein' down about who they are? But you'll need to get help with feeling bad, Will. Charlie always made sure those guys got help."
"Do you want me to take you home now?" Will brushed Liam's hair back.
Liam nodded. "Only if you promise to stay with me. It ain't right we sleep apart, you hear what I'm saying? 'Cause people in love should share the same bed."
Will didn't say anything.
Liam rubbed the back of Will's closed fist. He figured Will not arguing was saying I love you.
...
Gilbert slid the car next to the broken concrete curb in front of Liam's apartment building. Will pulled out his cane and looked back at Gilbert. "I'm staying here with Liam. In fact, I'm moving in with him. Please have my things packed and brought over."
Gilbert's face broke into a broad grin. He came around the car and dared to put a hand on Will's shoulder.
"You don't think less of me for loving...another man?" Will asked.
Liam had his arms wrapped around Will, his face buried in Will's neck.
"How could anyone not love this young man?" Gilbert asked, a twinkle in his eye. "I think I fell for him the first time I picked him up. Your boxer is very special and, if I may say so, sir, you are a very lucky man."
Will nodded. "Thank you, Gilbert. I know that my father and his friends won't see it that way. I'll be a pariah, but...I need Liam."
...
Liam led Will into his room, holding his hand.
Shyly, they looked at each other.
Then, Liam gently shoved the door shut.
Part 19 - First Time
"You weren't supposed to kill the old man," Arthur told Gerrard Narone in an icy voice.
"Listen, you see these bruises? Charlie broke one of my ribs! He had it coming!"
"I wanted no part in...removing someone permanently. Merely putting Charlie Gunn in the hospital would have been enough."
"I did send him to the hospital." Narone laughed when Arthur glared at him. "He just didn't stay there."
Arthur heard a knock and glared his visitor to silence. "Yes?" he called.
Gilbert opened the door. "Master William has instructed me to remove all his clothing. He's going to be moving into a new residence, sir."
"What?" Arthur's drink dropped. "No, he can't...Will needs me. He needs me to make sure he makes the right decisions. To take care of his leg."
Gilbert saw that Arthur was swaying so he went over and took his arm.
Arthur shook him off. "I need to think. Get out!" he snapped.
Gilbert's mouth tightened. "I will be accompanying the young master to his new residence."
"You're quitting?"
"No, sir. I have been Master William's driver for years. I'm going to remain working for him."
"Where is he going to live?" Arthur caught Gilbert by the door.
"He is moving in with a...friend."
The door shut and Arthur leaned against it, shaking. "No," he whispered. "Not my son too...not Will. I won't let him be that way."
"Look, what do you want me to do now?" Narone demanded, looking bored.
Arthur straightened. His eyes hardened. "We go with the same plan. Get that fag into the ring. Kill him if you have to, but I want him out of my son's life."
Narone smiled. "Okay, now you're talking."
...
Liam put his hands in his pockets shyly. He looked at Will. "I know this place is a dump, but Charlie left me a big apartment above the gym. I figured...maybe you could do it up for us. You can paint the walls any color and stuff, 'cause I'm the landlord."
Will studied Liam. "You're the only thing I see in this room, and you...you are beautiful, Liam."
Liam's eyes filled. "You mean that, Will? You was so mad! I was scared 'cause you was so mad!"
Will limped over to Liam's bed and sat down, rubbing his leg. "You were right. I was angry because my heart is involved."
"You mean you like me, right? I knew it!" Liam crowed. "Listen, I'll have to go get Puppy from Mr. Trent soon, only... I was thinking, maybe I'd get him, uh, after. 'Cause Puppy might see you and me, you know, get things on? And he's only a little guy." Liam looked down at his big hands, blushing. "I mean, if you want to, uh, fool around. Maybe you don't want that, and that's A Okay. I'm totally okay with being just friends until you want to do me again."
"Liam," Will raised his hand and Liam bashfully took it. "I want to try to fuck you but...I'm not sure how good I'll be. I'm not very strong and my leg is..."
"Yeah, but I'm not dating your leg. I'm dating you. Will, can I see you? All of you, this time?" Liam begged wistfully.
Will stood up and Liam braced him as he pulled his shirt over his head, revealing soft white skin and puckered nipples. The green light of the two aquariums rippled over Will's body, making it seem as if he were undressing in another world.
Liam bent down and kissed Will's lips. Will gripped Liam's shoulders and kissed him back, the kisses gentle and affectionate. Liam started to cry again and Will pulled him into a tight hug. "Baby, please don't."
"I can't help it! So much stuff has happened and now you're here."
"Shhhhh." Will unzipped his pants and let them fall, his eyelashes down. His hard on prodded through his silk red boxers. Liam reached for the elastic and helped free Will.
When the pants fell, Will was silent, not meeting Liam's gaze. Liam looked down and saw one scarred leg was paler and thinner than the other. There were clumps of muscle and little hollows disfiguring it. Liam got down on his knees and pressed a kiss to Will's scarred knee. "I love you, knee, because you belong to Will."
"Liam!" Will grabbed his shoulders. "It's ugly."
"It's beautiful like a boxer. All marked up and hurtin', but still game, you know? Your leg is beautiful."
"Oh, Liam." Now Will was trying not to cry.
Liam leaned closer and rubbed his open mouth against Will's leg. "I love your leg so much because it's really part of who you are. If you hadn't been hurt, you would never have cared about me like you do. You woulda been married and had kids or somethin', and I would have been lonely."
"I'm tired and we're both emotional, so...if we're going to try this, I think we better do it now."
"We can wait," Liam whispered.
"Can we? Nothing is easy, Liam. I feel like...like something will happen soon and separate us, and I want to be close to you. I want to be inside you, just once, even if I'm not strong enough to do it right."
Liam pulled Will close and they snuggled. After he'd settled Will, he opened a drawer and pulled out lube and a condom. They sat down on the bed and Will looked at the condom. "I've never put one on."
Liam smiled. "I have. I've got a light touch, too." He opened the package and then rolled it gently over Will's stiffness. Will bit his lip, making a helpless little sound at the feel of Liam's fingers on his cock. "There, daddy's all ready now." Liam kissed Will.
Will slapped Liam's thigh. "Make yourself ready for me, baby."
Liam lay back, opening his legs so that his big cock and balls were fully exposed. He took the lube and slathered a huge dollop onto his hand. "You ain't small, Will," he commented. He pushed two fingers into himself, smoothing and stretching, rubbing deep. When he touched his prostate, his eyes half closed and his body jerked up, his cock flexing as he pleasured himself.
"Fuck, that's hot!" Will growled. He climbed on top of Liam and pressed his wrists back, flat on the bed. "You look so slutty when you play with yourself."
Will reached down and took his penis, freeing Liam's wrists. Liam kept his hands above his head, watching Will.
"My knee... I won't last long," Will confessed, shamed. "If I do it too long then I might have a muscle spasm."
"It'll be okay, you'll see." Liam rubbed Will's back. "Why does how long you can do it matter? You'll be inside me, Will."
Will maneuvered himself awkwardly. It hurt, this position, but he wanted to look into Liam's eyes while they made love for the first time. He pushed against Liam's entrance and sweat broke out on his forehead and the back of his neck. He and Liam watched as Will's cock head went inside.
"How does that feel?"
"Um, sort of hurts, but we haven't got to the good part yet." Liam bit his lip, trying to hold still for Will.
Will made to pull out.
Liam purred and raised his bum, helping Will slide deeper past his resistance so that Will popped through. Will's eyes widened. "I'm inside you!"
"Where you belong," Liam said smugly.
"Liam, this isn't a good position for my leg and...and I'm not sure how long--" Will's face tensed because he'd never felt this good. He could feel how close he was, just from watching himself go inside the exquisite body of his boxer. Just from watching Liam when he'd made himself ready for Will.
"Fuck me, Will. Please?" Liam begged. He pushed up, his strong body matching Will's tentative and gentle thrusts. He took hold of Will's hips and steadied him, holding his weight so that Will had greater thrusting power.
Liam used all his boxer's muscles to make it easy to be fucked by Will.
"Look at how it slides in!" Will marveled at the new experience, Liam's strong arms lifting him and giving him the added strength to move. He felt like he was flying. Being with Liam, seeing him shiver and his heavy eyes and how he bit his lip, loving the feel of Will's cock inside him.
"I wanted you to fuck me for so long, Will." Liam pushed up, taking as much as he could, his body asking for every inch that Will could give him. His eyes closed and he purred at the feeling of the gentle nudging on his gland. Will couldn't slam in and out, so it was like butterfly kisses.
Will leaned down and they kissed, Liam struggling to push his head up so they could rub their tongues together as Will moved inside Liam.
"Your face...the way you look from having me inside you…" Will cupped Liam's cheek. "You want to be fucked. You want it. You love it. Baby, that's so hot!"
Liam's hands dug into Will's slowly working ass. Will was slick with sweat, trying so hard to please his larger, muscled lover, his slight body lean and pale compared to the warm olive of Liam.
"When I met you, I felt...dead. Resigned. But you wouldn't leave me alone. You made me want you. Made me want this."
Liam reached up and they rubbed tongues again, both gasping from the intense and gentle pleasure. Liam watched Will's face, seeing the strain as well as the pleasure. He sat up a little, his legs spread wide, and arranged their bodies so he was sitting on Will's lap. "I'll fuck your cock," he offered.
"Oh, God. If you do that, I won't last."
"You feel so good in there." Liam slammed himself down.
Will's hands dug into his hips like claws as Liam shoved up and down on Will, pounding his own ass. Liam let his head fall back, licking his lips, knowing that Will was watching his face and loved to see his pleasure.
Will took Liam's penis and began a gentle hand job, and his gentleness was what set Liam off. Other men touched him with carelessness, like milking a cow. Up and down. Rough. Will touched him with appreciation and...love.
He wasn't a piece of meat to Will.
"Will..." Liam whined. He was close now. He was going to come before Will did.
"Shhhh, come for me, beautiful."
Will reached down and cupped Liam's balls, squeezing them so Liam spurted, moaning as his orgasm was one endless flex after another. He leaned his head against Will, and Will's arms went around him.
"What about...?" Liam saw Will hadn't come.
Will's face was tight. "I need to...I can't stay in this position. One of my muscles is cramping. I knew this would happen! I'm sorry, Liam."
Liam climbed off Will, seeing that he was in distress. He pushed him on his back and took Will's knee in strong hands, digging into the muscle that was pulling on its own and manipulating it.
Will sobbed above him, shamed by the failure of his body as well as in pain. It hurt, having the muscle worked. He found himself wishing for some of his strong muscle relaxants, but those left him dopy for hours. He didn't want to use them anymore.
Liam never lost patience or tired. His hands kept up the work on Will's bad leg until the muscles finally smoothed out and the cramp eased. "You're just are out of shape, is all, and we need to experiment with new positions and stuff. There's like a book I saw once with all kinds of ways to do it, only it's not in English."
"The Kama Sutra?" Will smiled at the idea of him and Liam using that.
"My arms are strong enough I could hang from the ceiling while you do me," Liam bragged demurely.
Will stared at Liam.
Liam smirked.
Will burst into laughter, and Liam got close for a kiss and a hug. "God, you're special. You don't even see how remarkable you are. You have this gift...for making people happy."
Liam peeled the condom off Will's softness and then took that softness into his mouth, feeling it stiffen and grow under his suction. "This is the only cock I want in my mouth, Will," he promised.
Liam refused to give up on Will. He laved his cock, squeezing Will's balls and letting his tongue wander down so he found Will's pucker. He entered it, soothing Will and making him moan. Making all the hurt and the failure burn away.
Will was crying as his body gave in to Liam's loving ministrations. He huffed, falling back as Liam leaned his head against Will's bad leg, caressing it softly and watching Will catch his breath.
Will looked lazily over at Goldie with dazed eyes. "I like that you have fish. I think in our new apartment, we'll have more," he said.
"Yeah?" Liam brightened at how Will was agreeing to decorate the new place they'd share. "You've fallen for Goldie," he said, smiling.
"No, I've fallen for you," Will said.
Part 20 - Knock Out
Liam ran his hands over the sheet of glass that was one wall in Charlie's old apartment. Gutted apartment, which Will called a loft. He looked down at the polished concrete floors which had paint resins in gold and amber sunk into them. Liam had been fascinated when the craftsman who specialized in doing colored concrete had come by after they tore up the old linoleum. He'd seen the turquoise mix and begged Will to let him sprinkle that as well, since he loved blue.
"A whole wall?" Liam marveled. His eyes were still ringed from all the crying and bad nights. It was only a little over a week since Charlie's funeral and Liam wasn't sleeping well. He went out on long runs so he wouldn't wake up Will in the shitty apartment they were still sharing.
"At night when we lie in bed, we'll see all the different sea creatures. Anemones, that spiny looking fish you liked…" Will came behind Liam and put his arms around him. They hadn't made love since the first time. Will's leg was bothering him and he kept making excuses, self-conscious about it, and Liam was grieving. Instead, when Liam woke up crying Will would see to him. Kiss him and cuddle him. Reassure him that he wasn't alone.
"Puffer fish." Liam smiled, remembering when Will had taken him to the huge downtown aquarium shop. He'd thought he was in heaven. And they weren't putting fresh water in this tank. It was going to be a solid wall, floor to ceiling, of salt water. A custom habitat, the man at the store called it.
The wall was the only screen in the open space for their bedroom, where a king-sized leather tufted bed presided. It had arrived today, along with a new mattress. Tonight they'd sleep here for the first time in their new space. Liam was nervous about it. What if he messed up the new furniture? He didn't even know how to work the sink in their fancy bathroom, which was as large as his old apartment. All he had to do was position his hands under the silver spigot and water fell, but he forgot that, and still tried to turn it on. It made him feel stupid and as if all this new stuff was smarter than he was.
"I can't believe how much you've done since..." Now Liam's breath snagged as he felt that punch of grief tighten his throat. He closed his burning eyes. How could things be so good, with Will living with him, and yet be so bad, with Charlie's ghost haunting him every time he went down to the gym?
"I want to make it perfect for you." Will kissed his cheek. "I want to...make things up somehow."
Liam frowned, turning to look at Will. "You can't make up for what I lost, Will. Charlie's...gone. All these things? They're great but...he's gone, and he ain't comin' back."
"Baby, I just want you to sleep through the night. Why can't you do that?" Will pressed, reaching up to kiss Liam's cheeks again. "Stop hurting so much. Stop it, please. I can't bear it."
"It's 'cause it's my fault--"
"It's not!" Will's eyes flamed angry blue at the repeated words.
Liam dropped his gaze, shamed. "I can't help how I feel inside, Will. It's like bein' gay and wantin' cock up my ass. It's how I'm made. I'm made to hurt for Charlie. Made to keep missin' him and wishing I'd been here that day."
"Liam, what if it was more than one man? What if they’d had a gun?" Will shook Liam. Then he whispered, shocking Liam, "I'm glad you weren't here. I'm sorry: I know he was your friend, your father even, but...but you could have been killed too, Liam!"
Liam turned away, upset. "I should go see how Mr. Trent is doing with his unpacking.”
Will's hands dropped. His gaze burned Liam's back like claws on the still soft wounds.
Liam had to get away.
...
In Mr. Trent's new apartment, Liam unboxed the new equipment in the sparkling kitchen. It was oval shaped, sort of like what you'd see on a SF tv show. Will said it was Italian. He uncrated a sparkling espresso machine sheathed in copper from Starbucks, smiling as he took it out of the box.
"No more Postum?" He gave a hopeful grin to Mr. Trent, who was running his hands over his new buttersoft yellow microfiber couch. Gilbert was there, helping the older man move in. When Gilbert had said he was going to stick with Will, they'd added an extra room to Mr. Trent's loft, with Mr. Trent’s permission. So now he and Gilbert would be roommates, starting this evening.
"Postum's dog shit, boy," Mr. Trent laughed. "I just couldn't afford anything better."
Liam laughed as well, happy that Mr. Trent was happy. "You can have cappuccinos and mochas and iced mochas with this thing. Not that you'll need too many iced lattes now, since it’s air conditioned," Liam pointed out proudly. Will had insisted that new units be retrofitted in both apartments and the gym below. Soon, the gym itself would be renovated. The fighter’s old-fashioned equipment would stay, but it would be smartened up. Charlie had left Liam a lot of money, but it was Will who was insisting on paying for things. It turned out that his mother had been the real owner of all the wealth that Will's father made use of. Will had control of that wealth, though until he'd moved out, he'd never dared to even spend his allowance as he liked.
"How are you, son?" Mr. Trent put a gentle hand on Liam's muscled shoulder. Liam was wearing an old tee shirt with the arms ripped off and sweats. He was going to work out in the gym after he helped out Mr. Trent and Gilbert.
"’M fine," he mumbled, avoiding sharp grey eyes.
"Still not sleeping all night? I have some medication I took when I lost my wife. It may be you need that now."
Liam shook his head. "I just...I'll be doin' something, and it will be okay, and then it's like my body needs to cry or something. I saw him every day. Every day for years. He taught me how to read. How to be a man. How to be stand up." Liam covered his eyes and Mr. Trent directed him over to the couch and pulled Liam close. He patted his back as Liam sobbed. "W-why do I keep cryin'? When will I stop? I feel like I'm not bein' what I should, like I'm not the man he'd expect, carrying on this way, Mr. Trent."
"How does a real man grieve? It seems to me that there is no shame in what you feel. I'm only sorry you continue to carry the guilt you do, boy. That's a useless emotion and I thought you were smarter than that."
Liam shook his head. "I feel like...I have to pay for what I did. I have to..."
"Atone. We've talked about that, Liam, but you can't save everyone. You're not an angel."
Liam looked up and saw Will had come to the apartment's door. He was staring at Liam, his eyes lonely. He was still shy around Mr. Trent and not used to sharing space with Gilbert, with whom he'd always had the distance of servant and master.
"Want to come play with Puppy?" Liam asked him, smiling warmly, despite the shadows under his eyes. Welcoming Will.
"Do come join us, Will," Mr. Trent encouraged. "I'll make you a cappuccino."
Will gave a shy smile and nodded, coming inside. When Liam got down on his back so Puppy could walk all over him and lick him and bite his fingers and his bare toes, Will hesitantly climbed down too, stretching his leg out in front of him and pulling Liam's back to his chest so he could hold him while Liam entertained Puppy. He didn't let go, even after Puppy tired and fell asleep on Liam's lap.
Mr. Trent was playing with steaming the milk. He ended up spraying himself and an interested Gilbert so that both men laughed, already at ease with each other. Mr. Trent looked over at Liam and Will. At Will holding Liam with his eyes tightly closed and Liam snuggling back. "Boys, maybe we'll have some Remy Martin: I don't think I have the hang of this machine yet."
...
Liam was using the heavy bag when Will came down later. Will was still self-conscious around the other men who used Charlie's Gym. He knew that they all knew he and Liam were together, and Will was very shy about what they must be thinking. None of them spoke to him, though, preferring to tease Liam, who shrugged it off. Will thought he'd die of mortification if the fighters were as frank with him as they were with friendly Liam.
Liam smiled when he saw him, shaking his sweaty hair and taking a break. He nodded to the fighter who had held his bag for him.
"I didn't think you'd still stay in training," Will began. "I mean, you're enrolling in art college."
Will was very proud that after he'd sent Liam's secret stash of drawings to a local art college, they'd taken Liam. Liam couldn't believe it! He thought his scribbles weren't that good.
"Charlie told me to get back in shape," Liam said.
Will pursed his lips. Liam knew he wanted to remind him Charlie was gone. Liam turned away, rubbing his neck. How could he explain that...that just because his life had changed so fast, he still hadn't figured it? He'd been a boxer and Charlie's boy. Now he was going to be maybe an artist, but...it was coming too soon for him to take it in, like hits to the body that he felt over and over again. He needed...time. He needed to know who he was.
He knew he was a boxer. His hands knew how to feint and how to deliver an upper cut. He didn't know if they knew how to be a real artist.
He was afraid. Afraid to try to be more.
...
He climbed into the ring and did some light sparring as Will watched. He was enjoying showing off, but Will didn't lighten up. His hands curled around the ropes like pale claws, and Liam saw how he flinched whenever Liam took a blow to the body.
Finally, seeing that Will wasn't appreciating the play, Liam called it off. He took off his head gear and his partner helped him remove his gloves.
Will watched, his mouth tight and disapproving.
Liam jumped down lightly, knowing he was going to face the music.
"You'll have bruising, Liam!" Will started.
"I'm always bruised. It ain't nothin', Will. A fighter has to take the pain and keep goin'." Liam also had been forcing himself to climb back in the ring where he'd found Charlie. To face up to it. To be a man about it and keep going. Ride it out, just like Charlie had taught him, but he couldn't find the words to explain that to Will. He just wasn't any good with words.
...
In Charlie's old office, Will watched Liam put on a pair of heavy black glasses. "I didn't know you wore those," Will said.
"One of my eyes is kind of bad from fighting, so it helps me read better. Just needed to go over the mail..." Liam drifted off as he opened another letter from Gerrard Narone's management. He shook his head over it.
"What's that?"
"Gerrard Narone. He wants to fight me for some reason."
"Oh, but you're going to say no, right? Since you are an artist now," Will pushed.
Liam looked up. "I'm sayin' no on account Charlie didn't want me fightin' him any."
Will's eyes narrowed and he picked up the letter to study it. "Why would Charlie not want you fighting him?"
"'Cause he was a contender for heavy weight champion, Will. He's one of the top boxers in the country. If he hadn't smacked his wife around, he might be the champ now. Charlie figured maybe he wanted to start at the bottom and make his way back up to the top. And that would be me, the bottom." Liam's eyes twinkled at his double entendre, but Will didn't smile back.
Will put the letter down with a smack. "You are not fighting him."
Liam smiled, taking off his glasses and circling the desk. He rubbed Will's tense shoulders and gave him a coaxing kiss. "No, I won't, don't worry. I know this...boxing stuff is hard for you. Sort of like how I don't get all that stuff you read? But it's totally okay, baby."
"I just...I can't stand seeing you hurt. I don't like it!" Will burst out. "I hate what you do, Liam!"
Liam shook his head, eyes sad. "It ain't just what I do, Will: it's who I am."
...
Will and Liam returned to the gym so Liam could head for a steam. Will was avoiding Liam's worried gaze, still clearly upset. Liam was hoping that maybe on their new bed he could coax Will into a better mood with some cuddling and attention.
"Hey, I'm lookin' for the fag who runs this joint," a voice boomed out.
Liam turned around, easy grin coming over his face, while Will stiffened beside him. A man of mixed race who was as big as Liam but more thickly muscled was standing at the door. All the other boxers ceased their workouts to watch the newcomer.
"I'm Liam and I'm a fag," Liam said simply. "You're Narone. I've seen you fight. You're a real contender."
"I tried to call you out, but you weren't a man about it."
Liam's grin faded a little. His brow creased as he tried to figure Narone out.
Will put a nervous hand on his arm.
"That your missus?" Narone moved closer, eying Will up and down. "You like to bend over and take it, sweetie?"
"Back off," Liam growled, all confusion falling away as Narone approached his beloved.
"Heh. Looks like a girl. I can see why you'd want to stick him."
Liam lost his temper and shoved Narone. "I said back off! Will's mine and I won't have you speak to him. Don't even fuckin' look at him!"
"So you are a man..."
"You'll find out just how much a man if you don't leave off talkin' trash to Will." Liam put a possessive arm around Will, startling the slighter man by pulling him close. There was nothing submissive about Liam now. His body was vibrating like a gong that had been struck.
"I'm not interested in your girlfriend, fag. I want you to meet me man to man in the ring."
Liam shook his head. "No, Charlie told me I wasn't to do that. I won't be disrespectin' him."
Will's hand was digging into one of Liam's big biceps. He was glaring at Narone, but his eyes also looked scared. It made Liam feel protective. He wouldn't let anything happen to his Will.
"That the Charlie who got himself beat up?" Narone whispered, coming close enough to Liam so their faces were inches apart. Will glanced anxiously from one to the other as they locked gazes in a primal stand off.
"He was attacked, yeah," Liam growled.
"Guess this isn't a safe neighborhood for old men...or little blond girlfriends--"
Liam shoved Narone and Narone retaliated by hitting him, breaking open one of Liam's cheekbones with a heavy gold ring. "Don't you threaten Will!" Liam yelled, oblivious to the wound. "I'll kill you if you even look at him!" His voice dropped to a whisper that Will had never heard from Liam before. The sound of it made Will's hair stiffen at the back of his neck.
"You aren't always around to protect what's yours, boy," Narone pointed out, smirking. "Like, say, an old man alone here early one morning?"
"You! It was you who hurt Charlie!" Liam thundered. Will was holding him back with two arms roped around him. He vibrated like a guard dog, furious.
"Can't prove nothin’, but if you don't meet me in the ring, I might see how the other half lives, you know what I'm sayin'? Give your pretty little girlfriend a taste of real cock--"
"Liam, no! Don't listen to him!" Will tried to subdue Liam but Liam shoved him into another fighter's arms. "Liam, don't do this!" Will struggled, biting the hand of the man who held him, desperate to be free and stop Liam--
The fighter snatched his hand away and firmed up his hold on Will.
"I'll fight you," Liam said.
Will sagged in the fighter's arms. "No! No, Liam!" he whispered.
The man holding him helpless shushed him. "Your man has to stand up. And if that fucker had anythin' to do with Charlie bein' gone, Liam has to set it straight."
"This is not the bloody middle ages, you stupid ape!" Will bit the man again savagely on the hand restraining him so he was set free as the man yelped. "We have laws! There is no such thing as trial by combat anymore!"
None of the hard faced men in the gym paid any attention to Will's distress.
Liam didn't even look at him. He was glaring at Narone.
Narone smirked, cracking his knuckles. "You ever take a beating from a sack of potatoes in the gut, Liam? Breaks you up inside so you can't piss and you can't eat. I'm gonna do that to you, fag. Break your fingers and your face and, when I'm done, you'll be in pieces like your old man."
...
After Narone left, Will stalked in front of Liam. "I want you to call it off! Don't fight him, Liam, please. I'll beg if I have to. We can talk to the police!"
Liam shook his head, looking at Will like he couldn't make him out. "He killed Charlie. I have to face him."
"Try to kill him, you mean?"
"No. I have to face up to him because what he done ain't right. When people let things go, that's when bad things happen. I have to stand up, Will. I have to!"
Will was panting, his face white, tears suspended in burning blue eyes. "He's a killer, Liam! Even I can see that."
"I have to do what Charlie taught me. Have to stand up."
Will turned around and smashed an angry small fist into one of the heavy bags so hard it made it swing an impressive arc. He put his hands on his hips, head down.
Liam stared at him, rubbing the back of his neck before finally hesitantly going to him. He put pleading hands on Will's tense forearms, cuddling him from behind. "It'll be okay. I'll keep you safe."
Will swung around, furious. "Don't you get it, you dim-witted moron? He challenged you so he could hurt you, possibly kill you! You're just too stupid to see what everyone else does: he's a real fighter. You don't stand a chance. You can't win!"
Part 21 - Olive Branch
"Father, how long you think it will take till Charlie qualifies up for sainthood?" Liam asked Father Ralph.
Father Ralph sat down next to Liam at the church pew, his knuckles fat and swollen so they bulged out from the skeletal thinness of his finger joints. "Ah, good to sit a bit, isn't it? Sainthood...well, the church makes that a sort of complicated thing, Liam. Sort of like being an Olympic runner, only a few qualify."
"But God knows he's a saint, though, right?" Liam frowned, rubbing his hands over his best jeans. "I mean, he knows it even if the church ain't so sure."
"God knows that Charles Gunn was a good man, yes." Father Ralph took Liam's hand and squeezed it.
"He didn't care I was slow or like boys...and thank you very much for lettin' me still come here even though I like boys."
"I see you brought flowers. Are they for Charlie?"
"Yeah, he liked red. I thought I'd drop by and say hi, you know? You think maybe he'll know I did that?"
"Of course. He's watching you from Heaven now, Liam."
"Good. That’s real good, Father, even though I think he'd get bored up there with them clouds and harps, but maybe God would let him arrange a boxing match. I heard some of them angels like to fight a lot."
Father Ralph smiled and followed Liam as he headed outdoors to visit Charlie's grave.
"Father?" Liam kicked at some sod, biting his lip.
"Yes, Liam?"
"How long does it take till you're okay again? I mean, I know I should feel bad for Charlie, 'cause he's the one dead, but I can't seem to do that. I feel bad for me, 'cause I can't see him no more."
"Oh, Liam." Father Ralph sighed. "I know he was like a father to you. It's never easy to lose a parent. It's like losing our childhood, our security...and the love of someone who was there, good times and bad, so the answer to your question is...you'll hurt for a while, like a wound, and then it will get a little bit better. But you'll always miss him. Just remember that one day you'll see him again."
"Think maybe I'll be one of his boxers again? If God doesn't mind me hitting other guys, I mean?"
"I'm sure you will, Liam." He gave Liam a pat on the shoulder and then Liam was left alone to make his way to the little tree where they'd laid Charlie out.
He got on his knees and arranged the flowers in front of Charlie's grave, taking them out of the cellophane bag and putting them inside the little cup.
"I guess since you ain't qualified for bein' a saint yet, I don't pray to you, Charlie, so it'll just be like old times with us talking. Maybe you think...it's funny, me sayin' you deserve that honor, but see, when I met you my mom didn't like me much and my old man was gone. I didn't have no one. I wasn't so sure, you know, back then, what I was going to do, and I was...scared, Charlie." Liam played with a red carnation. He wondered if Charlie could still smell it up in Heaven. Was that too far away? Did dead people smell when they went to Heaven?
"You know, I was scared back then and no one seemed to care...or see me. Then I met you, and you saw me. You gave me my first job, cleaning up your gym. After a while, you let me be a sparring partner for some of the other fighters, and then when I started getting the hots for boys, you made it not so scary for me: just said I was made that way, like some buildings are made to be houses and some are meant to be banks. I never told you how much you helped me when you was alive." A tear hit Liam's hand where he was rubbing the petals of a red rose. "I love you too, Charlie. I hope it ain't too late to say that. I hope you know that somehow."
...
"Hi," Will said, breaking Liam's reverie.
"Hey." Liam scrubbed his cheeks, embarrassed to be caught bawling. Will probably thought he cried all the time or something!
"You didn't sleep in our bed last night."
"Um, no. Figured I shouldn't do that since you was maybe still mad, so I slept on Mr. Trent's new couch which was okay, you know? 'Cause it was long enough. Just...in case you were wonderin’, you know, should you ever want to sleep on it."
"I am mad," Will said, quietly. He looked pale and defeated, like a party balloon that had lost all its hot air. "I'm also scared, Liam. Can you understand that?"
Liam inched a little closer. He wanted Will to hug him. If he did that, Liam knew things would be okay again. "Yeah, I'm scared too."
"I just have to say this: getting beaten by some vicious thug is not about being a man!"
Liam rubbed his neck, which was stiff from sleeping on Mr. Trent's sofa. "We're so...different, you know? You want we should break up?" he whispered.
Will swallowed. "Is that what you want?"
"I'll get on my knees and beg you to take me back if I have to, only don't ask me not to be a man, 'cause I can't do that, not even for you."
Will sighed, looking away. Liam looked away too, putting his hands in his pockets. Wishing he knew how to get close to Will again. How come things had got so messed up?
Finally, Will said, "I'm sorry I called you a simpleton."
"Oh, you didn't call me that!" Liam reassured Will. "I woulda remembered."
"No, I mean...I called you stupid."
"Oh. Yeah. Well, I am, right? I know it! That's totally fine what you said."
Will hobbled closer. "I'm still sorry."
"Yeah?"
Will nodded. "I couldn't sleep last night, thinking about what I said and worrying about you. Liam, you said one of your eyes is bad, so what if this man damages it and you can't be an artist?"
Liam shrugged.
Will's blue eyes held Liam's dark ones.
"What if he kills you like he did Charlie?"
Liam didn't know what else to do, so he crossed the gap between them and took hold of Will. "I won't let him kill me," Liam vowed.
"How can you say that? You can't make a promise like that!" Will thumped Liam's big shoulder, and Liam saw that under his glasses he was crying.
"It'll be okay, Will." Liam dared to bend down and kiss Will's lips. They tasted of the salt of tears.
Will grabbed his arms, his fingers digging in. "If anything happened to you..."
"Shhhh."
"Please don't fight him. Please."
Liam swallowed, wishing that Will would ask him for anything else. Anything.
Will pulled away.
...
"I have to go," Will said.
"Where to?" Liam asked, putting his hands in his pockets again to keep from reaching out and touching Will.
"Faculty luncheon."
"Oh. Well, look at the bright side, at least they feed you."
...
"Would you like to come with me?" Will offered, surprising Liam.
Liam could see the big black car and Gilbert off in the distance, waiting for Will.
"Naw, I'm just dressed in jeans, and I ain't very good with...you know, people."
Will frowned. "That's not true. You’re wonderful with people."
"I mean...I'd make you look bad. I'm not good with smart people, you know?"
"You're good with me," Will pointed out.
...
Liam looked at the smorgasbord that was set up in the university faculty lounge. There were tiny sandwiches that weren't square, but triangles. Some had cucumbers in them. Liam had opened them and checked. He didn't want those ones. There were floating shrimp in soups in big metal pots. And there was dessert! Lots and lots of desserts! Tarts, cake, pie and those little pastries like a girl's dress Liam loved. He wanted one of each color.
"Liam?"
He looked up to see Ms. Flemming standing next to him. She had chosen cheese and fruit from the dessert table, and Liam felt sorry for her. All those little cakes! How could she settle for cheese?
"Hey!" He smiled at her. "I think I might have the pink cake. I like pink."
"What are you doing here? You were...removed from our employ."
"Oh, I'm here with Will," Liam said, putting another cake on his plate. He hadn't had breakfast and he really wanted to eat it, but he figured he couldn't on account of a lady was standing next to him.
Just then a man with frosty white eye brows and a way of carrying himself that made Liam think he was the head rooster or something came over. "I saw you came in with William," the man told Liam.
"Yeah," Liam smiled. He wasn't sure what else to say. He wanted to announce Will was his boyfriend, but what if that embarrassed Will? "He's my friend," he finished.
"Have we met? You look familiar," the man said.
"He's the janitor, sir," Ms. Flemming said.
"Oh." The man blinked.
"Nice to meet you, sir." Liam looked at his feet, wishing he could go eat his cakes behind one of the big plants or something. "This is a real nice room," he finally said. "I cleaned this room we're in now, lots of times!"
"I'm the university president," the man told him.
"That's nice. I guess you like that job. This is a really nice lunch you're serving."
"Well...it was catered. I didn't actually make all this food."
"I'm having a really good time so far," Liam told him. "I mean, I thought I'd have to watch Discovery channel or somethin' first before I talked to people like you, but so far everyone's really nice."
Suddenly, Will was at his shouder, looking down at his plate. "Lot of cake there," he noted in a teasing voice, before giving Liam a smile, and Liam realized Will was hurting from how they were apart. Hurting and trying to find a way to get close again.
"You can have one of mine," Liam offered, holding Will's gaze.
"Your father is attending this luncheon, William," Ms. Flemming said. "Are you sure this is the best place to bring...your friend?" She nodded at Liam.
Will's eyes flamed. "Yes, that's exactly why I brought Liam, Ms. Flemming, and, just for your information, I gave instructions for all future funding my family offers the university to go to me for approval first."
"But...your father..."
"Is a figurehead," Will said coldly. "And I think you had best remember that when you speak to me...or my boyfriend."
"Boyfriend?" The university president repeated. "You're dating...a janitor?"
"Well, technically I'm not a janitor anymore, sir, on account I got fired, and Will and I can't date right now anyways."
"Why is that?" The older man was studying Liam as if fascinated.
"Oh, I'm in training now for a fight. No fooling around, you know? So I can't date with Will till that's over, but I'm very much looking forward to when I can date him again, you know? A smart man like yourself probably knows how a man has needs, right? Anyways, Will takes really good care of mine."
Ms. Flemming smiled coldly at Will and Liam. "Oh, look! Your father has arrived. I wonder what he'll think about your...guest, William."
Part 22 - B.J.
"How can you parade your retarded homo lover around people you've known all your life?" Arthur thundered.
He had gone to Will as soon as he'd stalked into the university luncheon, taking his arm. Liam had made to follow, protective, but Will had shaken his head. He'd gone with his father to the next room, where their whispers had now given way to Arthur's tirade.
"Don't call him that." Will's voice was soft steel. "He's mine."
"You bend over for him?" Arthur reached out and shook Will. "Don't you see you have to fight it off? Will, just leave with me now. Please, it's not too late to put this behind you!"
"I don't want to: he makes me happy." Will looked back and saw Liam and most of the other people in the room staring at him. Some looked at Liam, seeing the 'retarded homo' his father had cursed.
Will limped back to Liam. Pulled his head down and kissed his lips. "He's beautiful. I'm sorry you can't see that."
Liam put his arm around Will, who had tears swimming in his eyes even though his chin was high. The university president reached out and shook Will's hand. "Well done, son. Bring your boyfriend to any function. I'd be delighted to get to know Liam better."
"Thank you, sir," Will said in a husky voice.
"You're sick!" Arthur hissed.
"Excuse me, sir," Liam said, taking on Arthur. "I lost someone who was like a father to me: he didn't care about me bein' gay. I'm sorry you can't see how brave Will is bein'. I hope one day you can."
Will made a broken sound and Liam pulled him close, cuddling him as they walked quietly from the room.
Outside, Will stared at the grounds in a daze. "I don't..."
"You're upset." Liam rubbed his back. "Let's go to the Japanese gardens. I like lookin' at the fish there. Makes me feel like I'm part of things, even when the heron comes by and swallows some of 'em."
Will laughed. "I'm so s-sorry he said those things about you."
"What he said doesn't matter. You matter, and you love me, don't you, Will?"
Will leaned his head against Liam's warm shoulder. "I'm not myself."
"You just need a break."
Will shook his head. "I don't know what I need. I didn't think it would still hurt so much, how he disapproves of me."
Liam led Will toward the gardens. He pulled him close since here on campus there were lots of students who had signs up about how it was cool to love a boy even if you were one yourself. "He's your father, so yeah, it hurts." Liam rubbed Will's cold hands, making a sound at how Will was trembling. "I'm sorry he's mad at you over me. If I could be a girl for you, I swear I'd be one. Only I don't think he'd like me anyway: I'm dumb."
"I don't think I'd want you if you were a girl. No, maybe I would."
"That's 'cause you see me, the person, and my penis doesn't matter."
"I like your penis. I want to suck it."
Liam tripped over the curb. "Will!"
Will laughed, pressing closer. He bit Liam's ear gently. "Are there any secluded places in the park?"
"The tea house, only it's closed up."
"Oh."
"I know where they keep the key, though."
...
Liam shyly led Will up the steps to the sliding doors which led inside the tiny cedar and bamboo tea house in the corner of the gardens. Students were lying in the sunshine, sunbathing as they studied, and showed little interest in Liam and Will as they snuck inside.
Will slowly closed the door and Liam lit one of the small kerosene lamps. He put it on the floor. "They got stuff in here to make real Japanese tea. You want we should do that?"
Will pushed back his tangled blond hair. "Yeah, I think that would be nice. I'm...unsettled."
Liam beamed. "I like the Japanese white pear!"
"We'll have that."
Liam gathered the supplies. The tea was made on a brazier, which he lit. He filled the iron pot with bits of raw tea and placed it on the stand above the heat. "Now we wait a while." Liam shimmied down to where Will was watching. He leaned close and kissed Will.
"It's like firecrackers goin' off when we kiss, isn't it?" Liam smiled, taking in Will's panting, relaxed face.
Will leaned his head against Liam. "Hold me...keep me safe?"
Liam pulled the smaller man into his muscled arms, patient with this new brittleness. He kissed Will's forehead.
"I wish you could take those words away so they didn't hurt me," Will breathed. "Can you do that?"
"No," Liam said.
"No, not even you can do that," Will mourned.
"I'm sorry. It's...part of bein' on your own. Making your own choices, you know? It's more than not liking spinach and never buying it. It's...who you love. You love a boy, so you're gonna get hurt sometimes, and I'm real sorry about that. I meant what I said: if I could be a girlfriend for you, I would be."
...
The tea steamed, finally ready. Liam dug out delicate celadon cups and served Will before himself. They leaned against the wall, sipping their tea. Liam rubbed Will's leg, watching him, while Will looked out the open screen door at the pond where the koi swam.
Slowly, Will's muscles loosened. They drank another cup of tea and Will climbed onto Liam's lap, clingy, eyes wet.
Liam cuddled him, aching for Will's silent pain.
After a while, Will fell asleep and then so did Liam.
...
When they woke, it was to discover the little park had closed for the night. It was lit only by the flames in stone lanterns which followed the gravel paths.
Will blinked, hearing the gentle hush of the waterfall. He could smell cedar and tea and Liam's arms were still around him, comforting him.
"Are you awake?"
"Yeah...was just thinking."
"What about?"
"You called me beautiful. No one's ever said that about me."
"You are." Will pulled away. "I want to do something for you."
"Yeah? Like give me chocolates or something? Oooooh, howabout more of those cakes, Will? You think there are any left?"
Will smiled. "We'll sneak in there and check, if you like."
Liam nodded, enthusiastic.
Will kissed his boxer, before deliberately reaching down and undoing Liam's belt. Liam's eyes widened. "Are you gonna spank me with that, Will?" he asked.
Will choked. "Oh, shit! No...but now I sort of want to."
Liam frowned as Will undid his zipper and then dug into his boxers, pulling Liam out. Liam was hard from sleeping with Will, his big penis flexing now it was free.
"What are you going to do?"
"Blow you," Will said. He pushed Liam's legs open and sat between them, then he bowed down and touched Liam's hot flesh with a timid tongue.
"Will!"
"You're beautiful," Will said. "Do you know why I want to do this?"
Liam shook his head, gasping as Will licked him from crown down his stem. He dug his big hands in his thighs.
"Because I called you stupid. Because I was...unkind."
"I don't care none about that now, Will--" Liam bit his lip, thrusting gently into Will's mouth.
"I do. I'm sorry. It was wrong of me to say those things. I was just..." Will looked sad and Liam stroked his hair.
"You don't want me to face Narone."
Will nodded. "You've remade me...my life, everything. Don't leave me alone, now I've found you."
"I won't do that, Will," Liam said firmly.
Will shook his head, wishing he could believe. Then, because he had no words, he adored his Liam again, taking him into his mouth, experimenting, running his tongue around the rim of Liam's cock head and then digging into the slit. Liam shivered, making small pleading sounds. He didn't move, and Will marveled that all this brute strength was his to manipulate.
"Are you my dirty boy?" Will teased, escaping into their naughty play. "Can't wait for daddy to suck it, can you?"
Liam's cheeks were hollow, his eyes heavy and bright color flagged his cheeks. He read so easily Will's need to give. To play. "Please, daddy...please let me come."
"Want to come in daddy’s mouth?" Will licked Liam, teasing him before blowing on the wetness. "You do that and I might use that belt over your ass since you're such a bad boy..."
Will suckled and Liam trembled, his balls hard as Will caressed them. Will felt them draw tighter and then Liam was thrusting up into Will's mouth, sobbing--
"Please, daddy!"
...
Liam caught his breath, legs sprawled wantonly as Will licked his sensitive penis clean of his spill.
"What about you, Will?"
"Can we...can we finish in our bed? I want so much to make love there: make our loft belong to both of us. Our own bed, Liam. Our own bed where we'll be together from now on!"
Liam stroked Will's back. "That's happy. I like happy. For a while, everything was sad."
...
Will had his hand in Liam's back pocket. As they walked together, Liam's arm around him, he gave Liam a saucy pinch. "Feel good?"
Liam nodded. "I felt lousy this morning, but now I feel good. We're going to make love in our own bed!"
Will grinned, looking much lighter and happier again from their time together in the sanctuary of the little tea house. "I might not let you out of bed for a week, gorgeous," he teased.
"Promise?" Liam said. "Only thing wrong with our bed is there ain't nothing for you to tie me up with."
Will's eyes widened. "Oh. I think we'll be getting a new bed."
...
They reached the car and found Gilbert standing beside it, looking around, frantic. "Master Will!"
"What is it, Gilbert?" Will immediately tensed.
"I got a phone call from Mr. Trent: your father broke into your apartment and vandalized it!"
"What?" Will shook his head, disbelieving, stunned, while Liam gripped his hand. "Gilbert, take us home now!"
Part 23 - Taking Care of His Boy
The drive back to Charlie's Gym seemed to take forever.
Liam was silently crying, frantic over Puppy, Goldie, Blackie and Mr. Trent. Will pulled him into his arms. "It'll be okay."
"What if your father hurt our fish, Will?" Liam turned his head into Will's neck.
"Our fish? If I weren't already crazy about you, hearing you say that..." Will kissed Liam passionately, tasting the salt of his tears. "I'll kill him if he's hurt any of our friends."
"That won't bring them back," Liam said softly as he looked out the window and saw they were stuck in traffic.
"No, but I want to hurt him if he's hurt us. Can't you understand that?" Will pulled away, frustrated, trembling with anger.
Liam shrugged. "No. I mean, I want to fight Narone, but if he died, Charlie would still be gone. I'd still ache for him every day. Nothing makes me feel better, except being with you, or Puppy, or Mr. Trent. My friends in the gym make me feel better too. But Narone dyin'...that wouldn't take away the hurting."
"Charlie was a good man. A good father. My father...is not. He's twisted," Will said bitterly.
"Twisted? But aren't you bein' like your father by wanting bad things, Will?" Liam asked softly. He put a hand over Will's. "Please don't be like him. I don't want you to be like that!"
Will closed his eyes. "I'm trying," he whispered.
...
At Charlie's Gym, Gilbert double parked, but left the car with Liam and Will since he was worried about Mr. Trent and their pets.
The trio strode inside to find Mr. Trent standing in the center of the gym, telling his story to two police officers and an interested circle of boxers. Liam shoved through, making an easier route for Will and Gilbert.
"Mr. Trent?"
The elderly man had a steak over one eye.
"Your eye!"
Mr. Trent laughed. "I was in a fight, Liam!" he crowed proudly. "I used my cane on that son of a bitch. He got me in the eye, but I got in a couple of good shots!"
Liam lifted the steak away gently, crooning over Mr. Trent's eye. "You're gonna have a shiner!"
"So will he!"
Will's face was as white as the walls. "It was...my father?"
Mr. Trent's mouth softened. He nodded. "I'm sorry, son. He said he had your permission to visit...that he had a house warming gift for you. I let him in, but when I heard him smashing things I went back there right quick!"
"Goldie!"
Mr. Trent grabbed Liam's hands. "Settle down, Liam. I saw you hadn't cleaned the bowl you put them in till you get the tank set up, so I had them in my kitchen. Puppy was with me, too. Your pets are safe."
Liam swallowed, nodding, tears of relief filling his eyes.
Mr. Trent cupped his cheek. "I think you and Will should stay in my apartment tonight. There's no need to go in there until someone can...clean up, surely?"
Will's eyes narrowed. His hot blue gaze burned a path over to the industrial elevator that led to the lofts above.
Gilbert appeared with the chair from Liam's office and helped Mr. Trent sit down so he could finish his report to the police. The old man squeezed the servant's hand as he sat. Both of them watched as Will headed for the elevator and Liam followed him as inevitably as the moon follows the earth.
"Will!" Liam ran after him.
"Stay here!"
"No, I'm not a child. I'm..." Liam shrugged, not sure how to put it, then he brightened. "I'm yours. Your boyfriend. So we handle things together, you know? Good and bad." He reached out and took Will's hand.
Will was shaking, his hand on his cane clenched. He took a deep breath. "Okay, Liam."
...
Liam stepped over the shredded remains of pillows. In the kitchen, he could see the smashed plates and bowls. Will had let him pick them out. They had happy faces on them.
Liam's teddy bear he'd had since he was a baby was sitting on their leather couch, shredded. The bear’s head was twisted almost off. He picked it up, pulling it close. Will watched him, his blue eyes like flames, searing everything. He looked like a scary painting Liam had once seen of a warrior angel. It had been called Divine Madness, but Liam hadn't liked it. The angel looked mean and scary, not like he'd be nice if you met him.
Liam trailed behind him into their bedroom. The fish tank was fine, but the leather tufted bed and bedding had been ripped, the bedside lamps smashed. Liam's drawings that he'd shown to Will had been torn up and scattered on the floor. Liam wrinkled his nose. "It's stinky. Do you think the bathroom got backed up, Will? That used to happen in my old apartment sometimes."
Will turned to look at Liam. His face was paler than the paper Liam was standing on, but his eyes glowed.
"My father..." Will swallowed. "He pissed on our bed, Liam."
...
"He just needs some time, Liam." Mr. Trent rubbed Liam's back.
Liam was down in the gym. The cops had left after taking Mr. Trent's complaint against Arthur. Will was upstairs in their loft, sorting through things with Gilbert's silent help. Finally, Liam couldn't stand being in there. He needed to move. He couldn't stay in there!
He was hitting one of the heavy bags, working through his feelings, sorting them out like they were different paint colors.
"Just things..." he said. "No one was really hurt."
Mr. Trent looked down at his feet. "I'm sorry he...he defiled your bed, lad."
Liam's big fists dropped. He wiped his sweaty face. "I don't know how to make that go away. For Will and me. I been fightin' all my life. Been beat down. Had my bones broken. But...I don't know how to fight this. How do you fight this, Mr. Trent? Is Will gonna think I'm...I'm someone that you piss on, because his father thinks so?" He struck the bag, his brow furling like a god of thunders before a rain storm. "Well, I ain't! I'm not smart!" Bang! "I know that, but I'm not..." BANG! "Someone you just PISS on!" BANG! BANG! "I'm a man!"
Liam's head fell as he panted. Mr. Trent cupped the back of Liam's neck. "I am a man," Liam whispered.
...
Will watched Gilbert drag another large garbage bag and lean it against the door. Gilbert looked up. "Excuse me, Master Will...?"
"Yes?"
"I'm sure it's occurred to you that the break in to Liam's apartment and other things...might bear looking at again in light of your father's behavior today."
Will toyed with the broken teddy bear. "Don't tell Liam. Please. What if he can't forgive me?"
"Forgive you?" Gilbert frowned. "You aren't your father. You aren't responsible for his actions."
Will couldn't bring himself to toss out Liam's bear with the other garbage. He decided to see if there was a place that might repair toys. "What if I am? What if it's too late for me? I get so angry sometimes, Gilbert. I hit Liam. I called him stupid. When I look around our loft, it's like I'm seeing part of myself in this destruction. I have this same rage inside me. How am I different from my father?"
Gilbert sighed. "That's something you're going to have to deal with on your own, sir. But...I don't think you are like your father. He never acknowledged his male lovers. In our case, he ended it and said we must never speak of it again."
Will's eyes saucered. "You and...my father?"
"For a while. It was after your accident. There'd been someone else. Someone he really loved, I think. A man who worked with his hands. He built the gazebo in your father's garden and did jobs around the house until your father fired him."
Will sat down on the destroyed couch. "My father's...gay?"
The older man nodded. "When we were together, it was all lord of the manor and his slave, but I was very attracted to him," Gilbert admitted. "Then one day he told me he was assigning me to be your driver rather than his, and if I ever spoke of what had happened between us again, I'd be fired. I was fond of you. You were hurting so much and so brave. I wanted to stay, so I did as he ordered."
"I can't..." Will shook his head. "I can't understand how he could do that. If he loved this other man, why aren't they together?"
Gilbert smiled thinly. "He told me once that Tomas couldn't read," he said.
...
"Come with me?" Will asked Liam softly.
Liam had just gotten out of the shower. Oblivious to the other boxers, he dropped his towel and bent over to find some fresh clothing. Will saw a couple of men glance at Liam so Will shifted to block their view of his lover's nudity. "Maybe you should shower upstairs in our apartment?" he suggested mildly, trying not to growl at the man who'd been eying Liam's bent-over tush. Liam wasn't the only gay boxer, it seemed.
"If you want," Liam said, easy. He dressed and followed Will from the gym. Gilbert was waiting with the car. Liam hesitated, and Will knew he was flashing back to the earlier tense drive back to the gym and the destruction in their loft.
"Secret mission," he hinted, trying to be extra tender and make up for his rage earlier.
"Yeah? Where were we going?"
"It wouldn't be a secret if I told you, now would it?" Will smiled.
...
Liam and Will went to a metal working shop in the artisan's market. There were handmade metal beds on the polished concrete floor. Liam made a bee line for a king-sized one that was covered in wrought iron leaves and branches, tracing it with wondering hands. "Look, Will! It's like living inside a forest!"
The old man who owned the shop smiled over Liam's delight. "Can I help you?"
"We need a new bed," Will said. "We'll take the one my... Liam found."
"That's a special bed," the man nodded.
"Can you arrange for a mattress as well?"
The man looked a bit surprised by Will's haste, but he took his gold card easily enough.
Meanwhile, Liam was lying on the bed, looking up at twisted metal foliage. "You can tie me up easy in this bed, Will," he said, smiling.
...
Liam dragged them into a custom paint shop next.
"But we don't need to repaint, love," Will told him.
"I was thinking...I want to do a mural, you know? I mean, now it's ours and we can have happy things on our walls. I want to paint Charlie by our breakfast table, so he's there every day for me like always."
Will studied Liam's earnest face as he picked up different colors, his big hands seeming to know what they needed. He picked up various brushes and rubbed them against his wrist or the palm of his hand. For some reason, seeing him do that aroused Will.
"Okay," he said. He'd always thought walls should be one color. He'd had the walls in their loft painted with the latest designer colors...but now their home had been violated, and he knew Liam felt the same aching pain he did and wanted to find a way to mend it somehow.
They needed to remake their home together.
Liam smiled and kissed him on the lips.
...
Will led Liam into a sex shop. He was gripping Liam's hand for comfort because of what he'd come to find.
"I am Master Xander. How may I help you?" A tall brunette asked. There was a short, red headed young man stacking supplies, who gave Will and Liam a shy glance before his eyes fell and he went back to work. Will saw he was wearing a discreet collar.
"I want a few things for..." Will bit his lip, not sure he could do this, expose himself to a stranger, but he wanted so much to please Liam. "I'm slightly disabled. My leg? And I want to please my...boy. I did some research, but I hoped you could suggest some things which might act to stimulate him before we, um..."
Master Xander nodded, smiling, relaxed. "You're among friends here. My boy Oz is wearing something now that might work for you." He lifted a remote and showed it to them. "This controls a vibrating dildo I use for Oz sometimes. It gently stimulates him and then, when I have time, I see to him."
Liam looked over at Oz. "You've got something up your ass?" he asked, wide eyed.
Oz gave Liam a calm look and then a mischievous one at Master Xander. "Yep. Feels good."
Will took the plastic package and read the instructions. "I'll need a belt so he can wear it comfortably. Something...not tacky. Something soft for his skin. Will it really make up for my not being able to..." He cleared his throat.
"It will extend your play," Xander affirmed. "He's beautiful, your boy."
"Thank you," Will and Liam said at the same time.
"I'd suggest a cock ring if you are going to use it on him anywhere public until he's used to it: he might lose control as you experiment."
Will looked at cock rings and picked out a couple for Liam.
Liam was looking around at the gear. He gave the posture correctional collar and spreader bar a wide-eyed look and backed away. Will followed, smiling. He took Liam's hand, feeling the need to touch, to mate. "We don't need that," he said, giving his Liam a gentle kiss on his neck.
They bought scented candles and oils in lemon, sandalwood, and summer roses, which Liam liked. There was a selection of loose cut stone anklets and collars. Liam liked the rose quartz. Will liked the amethyst.
"Rose quartz is the heart stone," Oz told Liam. "I'm not surprised you're drawn to that one. It's love, passion, openness. A lot of subs like rose quartz."
"You make these up?" Will asked.
"Yeah, I like working with stones. You like the amethyst? That's the higher self. Intellectual. Ideas. But it also calms."
"I'd like something for both of us...mixing those two stones." Will's hand squeezed Liam's.
"I make a mix I call Harmony. It blends the physical with the intellectual. Like the big rocks they put in a Japanese water garden? Water is yin and the rocks are yang. Having both gives harmony."
...
Gilbert drove them to the beach. In the Men’s there, Will used the changing room to experiment with the toys he'd bought for Liam. As Liam watched, a little nervous, bent over, Will stretched him out, three fingers moving gently inside him as Liam's lips parted.
"Okay?" Will looked as nervous as Liam.
"Uh, yeah. Do I have to wear that ring around my cock?" Liam asked, pouting a little. He was hard from Will playing with him.
"You can come with one on, apparently, but it will help prolong the pleasure," Will told him. "I want that. I can't do you as long as I wish I could..." he finished, shamed.
"You do me fine." Liam kissed him. Will had fingers up his ass and his other hand wrapped around Liam's cock. "Will...?"
"Not yet, sweet. I want you spread out and begging on our new bed. Don't you want to be that way for your daddy?"
"Yeah, I guess."
Will gently put the cock ring on as Liam gasped and bit his lip as it moved down his stem. Liam glared at it, which made Will smile. He bit Liam's earlobe gently. "We can go to a hotel room tonight, if you aren't ready to go home."
Liam frowned. "But what about our new bed? Aren't you gonna tie me up, Will? Since I have to start training tomorrow, I can't let you do that for a while and I really want you should do that to me."
"You don't feel bad anymore because of what my father did?"
"No, just horny," Liam said, stroking himself and looking slightly grumpy over the cock ring.
Will hid a smile as he lubed up the dildo and then gently pried Liam’s cheeks apart to insert it. He hooked it up to the soft belt he'd bought, bending over to give Liam's hip a tender kiss as he snapped the belt closed.
"How do you feel?"
"Full of cock," Liam said.
Will pulled out the remote and set it on the gentlest of settings.
Liam threw his head back, his nipples tightening, his body an arch of trembling arousal. "Will!"
Smug, Will gently replaced Liam's clothing. He pulled him close for a kiss. "What does it feel like now?"
"Like I'm bein' fucked just a little, but not hard enough." Liam rubbed his groin against Will's leg. "Daddy, please!"
Part 24 - Amethyst & Rose Quartz
"How are you feeling? Are you in any pain?" Will asked Liam, fretting.
They'd gotten word from Mr. Trent that the new metal bed and mattress had arrived. The cleaners had gone through the apartment, so now they could go home, and yet still Will was tense: both about going back there and wondering how he and Liam would feel. Could he let go enough to make love to Liam there? Worrying that he couldn't perform made sweat coat the back of his neck. He wanted to be a man to Liam. He didn't want him to see a cripple who couldn't give him what he needed.
He was also worried about the fact he'd stuffed a vibrating dildo up Liam's ass, and his lover was lying back, eyelids quivering, sweat beading on his forehead. Had this experiment gone too far?
"It feels good but...I need to get home. It's almost like when you need to go to the bathroom bad, you know?" Liam said, licking his lips. Will bent close, stroking his hair, and Liam continued, "Only in my case I need to get fucked. Bad."
"Jesus!" Will's hands clenched over Liam's shoulders as he rubbed his own hardness against Liam's leg. "Liam, I swear you drive me mad the way you always want me up your ass!"
Liam smiled, his big chest moving as he panted, his nipples tight buds under his tee shirt that Will longed to bite and torment. "Will we be there soon, Will? I want to feel full of you, not this thing."
The window between Gilbert in the driver's seat and Liam and Will in the back rose slowly. Startled, Will glanced up and met Gilbert's gaze. Saw the wicked sparkle in his eyes. He blushed, recognizing the wordless suggestion Gilbert was making.
"Do you want me to fuck you now?" Will asked.
"Yeah, but...we're in the car," Liam pouted.
"Gilbert closed the window. He can't see or hear us and the windows are smoked. No one can see what we do in here," Will said in a hushed voice. "It may be awkward and messy, though. I've never done it in a car...or, well, really anywhere except those times with you...but I want you so much! You're so beautiful like this." Will bit and kissed down Liam's straining neck, his hand cupping the hard on under Liam's jeans.
Liam groaned, pushing his hardness deeper into Will's touch. "Please, Will. Please fuck me!"
Will unzipped Liam, seeing his cock was wet with precum and a deep color, heavy with thick veins. He gently traced the head and Liam gasped, throwing his head back. So needy. So ready to be fucked.
Will yanked down Liam's jeans to his ankles and shifted him around. He unclipped the little belt and reached between Liam's ass cheeks to take out the dildo. He forgot he'd left it on, so as he fumbled to get a grip, his movements pushed it deeper. Liam gave a choked off scream and pushed his bottom higher. "Need it. Need it now, daddy!"
Will couldn't resist tormenting Liam. "What a hot slut you are. All ready for daddy, baby?" He pushed the dildo in deeper. "That's right, fuck it back. Daddy's little whore. Always want something up there, don't you?" He nipped Liam's neck, pushing the dildo in and out as Liam gasped and whimpered.
"Please, Will. Please, daddy!" Liam was undulating, straining to take the fake phallus deeper, but the cock ring kept him on the edge. He couldn't come, and he was so ready to come.
"It's okay...I have lube. Somewhere." Will tossed around some packages with his free hand, spilling art supplies and crystals and oils until he found the tube he'd bought. He pulled out the dildo, mesmerized by the way Liam kept fucking it back, needing sensation. Liam's balls were drawn up tight. Will grazed them gently and Liam gave a yelp.
"Want my cock, baby?"
Liam nodded, his eyes wet, his lips trembling, on fire for Will.
"Open your legs for daddy, and spread your ass cheeks to make room for daddy's cock," Will instructed, loving the dirty talk between them.
Will unzipped himself and pushed his jeans down his ass before preparing himself. He shoved Liam against the passenger window. Liam had his legs spread and his hands pulling himself open, offering the hot, needy circle for Will to plunge into. Will lifted Liam's bum, and slid home into warmth, greasy and ready for his possession. "Oh, shit, Liam!"
Liam fucked him back, taking as much as he could, whimpering with need. "Please, Will, please, I need it so bad!"
Will remembered the cock ring and reached down to pull it off as gently as he could. Liam screamed as it was dragged over his painfully engorged penis. "Baby, I'm sorry!" Will felt terrible, thinking he'd tortured Liam.
"No, felt so good. Will, I'm gonna come soon! Please, let me come soon?"
Will began to fuck his lover's hot, slutty opening, kissing the side of his face and neck. "My beautiful David. My whore. My pretty. That's it, take it. Take it all. Daddy wants you to fuck him back."
He slapped Liam's ass cheek sharply, watching how Liam bit his lip, his eyes half closed as he worked to bring himself off on Will's cock.
"I'm gonna smack you again, and when I do, you'll come, do you hear me, Liam? You'll come all over daddy's hand." He took Liam's penis and gave it a firm squeeze, making Liam quiver and groan. "Tell me you hear me?"
"Yes, Will. Yes, daddy...please, smack me soon?" Liam turned his head, licking his red lips, his face flushed, the heat in his cheeks as dark as bruises under hot olive skin.
Will smacked him hard and gave Liam's cock another firm tug. Liam's eyes rolled back and he pulsed thick come over Will's hand and the passenger door.
The sight of all that beauty, untamed and yet whorish at his command, set Will off. He bit the side of Liam's neck hard, knowing he was marking him. Knowing that the next day when Liam started training, he'd be wearing a visible bruise, a hickey on his neck. Knowing the other men would know that Will had fucked him. Marked him.
He bit harder and came in his lover's hole, loving the way Liam wanted to be filled, first with cock and now with semen. "Love doing this to you. Love--" Will cut himself off as he groaned and worked the last of his passion into Liam, holding onto warm skin and beloved bones, and the smell and feel of what was his.
...
Will used his tee shirt to clean off Liam, smiling at him as he groaned, his legs sprawled open, his body the picture of debauchery. "I did this to you," Will said.
"Yeah. I loved it. I love you," Liam said. His big brown eyes were fixed on Will with that hopeful puppy look: the look that asked Will to say those words back.
Will dropped his gaze, using the tee gently, loving to see the big body tremble in aftershocks. "It was good, wasn't it? Using that thing, it made you wild for it."
"You're so smart, Will." Liam stroked the back of his hand, already flirting with him. "You know how to take good care of me."
...
Gilbert brought them home and Will climbed out of the car with an aching leg but a body relaxed from some very satisfying sex. He avoided Gilbert's knowing gaze as he and Liam headed into Charlie's Gym. Liam took his hand, smiling at him, carrying most of their purchases.
Will felt a hundred feet tall.
He felt as much a man as any boxer in the gym.
He'd made Liam wild for it, and then he'd given it to him.
...
He and Liam didn't have much time to take in the newly-cleaned loft; they both headed to the bed and collapsed on it. Will breathed in the new sheet smell and then he was out like a light, Liam curved around him from behind, his body happily spooning Will's slighter one.
...
Will woke up alone and his forehead creased into a frown. He squinted but saw no sign of his sexy boxer. He got up and went to find Liam. He hoped he was still in the loft.
He found Liam sitting with his legs crossed, his tongue licking the corner of his mouth, painting his mural. He was naked and covered in some bright paint splatters.
Will realized that he too was naked and shrugged. He never used to walk around this way at home and, because of his leg, he'd never imagined doing it, but he was with Liam, and Liam thought his leg was beautiful.
He sat down beside him and pushed Liam's hair away from his face, watching as soft brown eyes looked into his and smiled. "Hi," Liam said. "I'm painting."
"I see that. It's late, sweet."
"I couldn't wait to put Charlie into our new home." Liam dipped his brush and traced a pencil line. He was using bright, bold colors.
"As long as you get your rest now you're in training."
Liam put the brush down. "I thought you didn't want me to fight Narone?"
"I don't. Actually, I'd like to shoot him," Will said, a thread of his rage in his voice. "For what he did to Charlie and for what he might do to you, but...you won't let me be the man who would do that." Will played with some of the brushes Liam had been using.
Liam studied him and Will knew he saw exactly who Will was. The anger. The buried warrior.
"So why do you care about my training now?" Liam asked, avoiding the subject of what they both knew Will was capable of.
"Because I don't want you to get hurt. Because I want to hurt him, but you won't let me, so I want you to hurt him." Will looked up and seared Liam with his gaze. "I want you to win, Liam!"
Liam frowned. "I'm not sure I can win. I mean...I'm just a regular fighter, like I'm ham and eggs, and he's...the best, you know?"
Will paused, not knowing how to address Liam's doubts, especially in light of how he'd cursed Liam previously and told him he had no chance. Then, he saw the glitter of stones in one of the open bags beside Liam and he pulled out the anklets Oz had made for them. One was rose quartz with a little heart-shaped geode of amethyst, and the other was a tumbled amethyst ring with a smooth rose quartz heart.
Will put the one that was mainly amethyst around Liam's ankle. "I thought that one was yours?" Liam asked.
"It was, but...maybe if you wear it, you'll feel how I believe in you? Liam...you changed me. I was an angry man like my father, but you made me see you. You were a man I'd been taught to look down on, a janitor, but you were the only person who saw I was more than my leg. That I could be a lover and a man, not just a cripple." Will put on the anklet that had been made for Liam, which was rose quartz. "And I need to be reminded of how I need to be more gentle, so I'm going to wear yours."
"It's like we're two colors, you know?" Liam commented softly. "Like when I paint I mix the colors up to make somethin' new. We're two colors getting mixed in each other."
Will tangled his body with Liam's, feeling Liam's cock rubbing against his own, knowing that soon he'd be on top of Liam on the bare floor, thrusting inside him while Liam put his ankles on Will's shoulders.
Liam fingered his anklet. "I don't know how it will go down in the ring. You go in there with the stuff you have inside you, and all the trainin', and that's all you got," he admitted softly. "And...I'm scared, but I just got to do this anyway."
Will closed his eyes, wrapped in Liam's warm arms. "You've got the stuff to face him, I know you do. I'm scared too but I'm trying." Will mated his hand to Liam's paint-stained hand, holding his gaze. "I want to be there for you while you train." Liam made a little sound and they kissed, hungry, desperate, mating. "I believe in you, Liam. You'll eat his heart!"
Part 25 - The Stuff Inside
Liam lay on the couch with tears on his cheeks. He snuffled, rubbing them away. He was sleeping on the couch because he couldn't sleep with Will. Sex made a fighter soft. So he had to sleep out here because even being held by Will was painful when they couldn't do anything.
So there was no one to hold him and he really wished there was.
He picked up his bear, which Will had stitched together himself with black thread. Will had wanted to take Bear to a doll repair shop, but Liam liked that Will had taken the time to repair his teddy bear. Will had washed him and even ironed his ears flat.
"I think you do love me, Will. How come you won't say it?"
He cuddled Bear, remembering what he'd been thinking about. His past before he met up with Charlie. He remembered being in school and trying to read the text just like the other kids. The teacher had asked him a question.
"I dunno the answer," he mumbled, shamed.
"You don't know much of anything! Do you even pay attention?"
"I do, I promise!" Liam fought tears, feeling the eyes of the other students on him. He was used to being stared at. The dumb one.
"I think you better go see Mr. Spade again, Liam. Clearly it's a waste of time having you in my classroom at all. You've failed all your tests, and I'm confident you'll keep on failing."
"I don't mean to, Mrs. Smith!" Liam tried not to cry. He hated it when he felt bad and cried and the other kids laughed at him.
On the way out, his eyes blurred with tears, he didn't see the foot that a kid put out and so he tripped and fell. He looked up at the other boy, wondering why he'd want to do that. Make Liam look bad.
"You're such a total loser, Liam!" the kid said.
Shoulders slumped, Liam headed for the principal's office.
...
Liam ducked his head around the aquarium wall and stared at Will, who was sleeping, the covers kicked off. He liked looking at Will's nude body. His pale back, the bumps of his spine, the way he buried his head in his pillow, the hand resting where Liam would be sleeping if he could only be there with Will.
He felt bad for ogling Will, seeing how they couldn't date right now. Liam had a boner just looking at him and imagining waking him up and Will pushing him on his back and making Liam grab his ankles so he could go inside Liam.
Liam sneaked closer and kissed Will's bare ass. "Sunny side up," he said, feeling a little lonely. He pulled the blankets over Will so he'd sleep warm. He paused, pushing Will's tangled hair back from the side of his face. "I very much miss sleepin' with you," he whispered. "I wish you weren't so worried so you'd be happy and laugh some more, you know? And I hate that I'm why you worry so much."
"Did you have a bad dream?" Will croaked, awake now.
Liam blinked. He rubbed his bare chest, swallowing. "No. Just...was remembering somethin'. Some stuff that happened when I was a kid in school when I...you know, kept failing. I wasn't smart like you."
Will sat up. His face had a slight beard. Liam longed to feel it rough his skin up in a passionate kiss. If Will kissed him, he'd forget this other stuff. Forget that Will didn't say I love you back to Liam.
"Failing. You're worried about failing with Narone, aren't you?"
Liam nodded. "I have to hold my own with him, you know? Hold my ground."
Will played with the blanket. "I felt like a failure too."
"Yeah, you had trouble in school?"
"My...leg. I used to be ridiculed in school because I couldn't do things like the other kids. My father arranged for private tutoring when my grades went down, but he told me that I should ignore the things said about me. That I was weak."
"You aren't weak for feelin' bad, Will!"
"Neither are you."
Liam looked at his hands, avoiding Will's concerned gaze. "You don't say you love me when I tell you I love you. I know I said I'd be happy with whatever you give me, but...I really want you to say it back to me, Will."
Will sighed. "I haven't been telling you a lot of things, Liam."
"You keeping something from me?"
Will paused, his brow wrinkled in thought. "Yes...not because I don't think you are smart, Liam."
"If you tell me, maybe I can make it better."
Will shook his head. "No, this is something even you can't make better." Liam saw that Will's fingers were shaking. He felt his own gut twist.
"Will, tell me!"
"I'm so afraid I'll lose you by telling you," Will confessed. "I don't think my father just wrecked our loft. I think he might have done worse. I think he paid Narone to fight you because he wanted you out of my life." Will shook his head as Liam made to speak. "Let me finish. Liam, there are too many bad things in your life lately. Goldie's bowl. You losing your job... Charlie. And now I'm certain that Narone only wants to fight you so he can hurt you--badly!--and oh, God, I'm so scared he will!"
"You think your father did all that?" Liam looked away, mulling it over. Will ached to reach out and touch him. "It's 'cause he thinks I'm not good enough, isn't it? Because I'm a loser. Just a janitor. Not any kind of fighter, even."
"Liam...I'm so afraid you'll see that...I'm my father's son."
"No."
"I am! I've done things to you, said things--"
"You didn't mean 'em. Not really."
"I have to go see him and tell him to stop harassing you. That I won't leave you. Maybe he'll call the fight off if I do."
Liam wrapped his arms around himself, wishing Will would hold him. Just hold him. "Do you want me to go with you?"
Will shook his head and Liam got off the bed. "You going for your...what do you call it?"
"Road work. Um, running, yeah," Liam said. "Then I got to work out with the heavy bag, and the fast bag and jump rope and I'm gonna spar with someone later. I have to be sharp to spar, so I might do that before the other stuff."
Will nodded, but then he burst out, “You won’t...leave me, will you, Liam? Because I’m like him?”
Liam cocked his head. "I don't get how you can say that, Will. You're livin' here with me, a janitor. Would your father do that?"
...
The street lights were still on when Liam walked outside Charlie's Gym. He leaned against the old brick building, stretching his back and his calves and thighs. He shook his hands, which he'd wrapped out of habit.
Then he stepped into the middle of the alley and began his run.
...
He ran past the fruit truck delivering fresh stuff to the local market. Past the library. Past the cop shop. Down through alleys and over the railroad tracks. Past a metal working shop and butcher’s. Past a tiny art shop where he couldn't help but slow down to look at the supplies.
His breath was whistling in and out of his lungs painfully. His sore ribs hurt and his bad eye burned.
He forced himself to turn away from the art shop and run on.
...
He cut around the church to Charlie's grave. The sun was coming up. The flowers he'd left before were brown and gold, but Liam thought they were still kind of pretty--just different colors.
"Hey, Charlie. I had to come by, 'cause you know I'm training now, only this is the first time I'm not training with you telling me what I should do, you know? I got to try to remember stuff. I wish you were still around, you know? 'Cept if you were I wouldn't be fightin', I guess." Liam's chest was heaving. He'd done his road work, all the way, but now he hurt.
"I don't have too long before I got to face this guy, Narone, and, you know, I think I know now what I want to do with my life. I didn't know before with all the stuff happening at once, but now things feel clearer. I want to go to art school and maybe do things like paint murals and stuff. I want to be in Will's bed so he'll fuck me all the time." Liam rubbed his sore ribs and bent down and kissed Charlie's marker. A tear splashed down on the stone, wetting it like a drop of rain. "Help me to stand up. Help me to just hold my own. I want to show Will and his father and Narone that I'm not a loser just because I'm not smart. I'm not afraid of hurtin', but I need to be standing when the bell rings on the last round, you know? Then Will and the others will see I deserve Will even though I'm not so swift. I dunno, maybe Will can say he loves me back if I stand, you know? And I'll know that even though you got killed, you're okay with things 'cause I stood up like you taught me."
...
Gilbert and Mr. Trent were waiting for him in Mr. Trent's apartment. Gilbert was making breakfast. Liam didn't feel hungry, just shaky and sort of sick.
"Heart-shaped pancakes, Liam?" Gilbert asked.
Liam nodded, suddenly more enthusiastic. He liked that Gilbert and Mr. Trent liked to spoil him. No one else ever got offered the heart-shaped pancakes.
Gilbert arrived with the first two. They had W + L in the middle in paler dough. "How'd you do that, Gilbert?" He grinned as he put maple syrup on the pancakes.
"Trade secret." Gilbert winked.
Will stumbled in, looking groggy since he wasn't a morning person, but he went straight to Liam and hugged him from behind, closing his eyes and holding him. Liam covered his hand and reached up to give him a maple syrup smack on his lips. "Want some heart-shaped pancakes? They might make you feel better since you're gonna go see your father."
Gilbert gave Will a sharp look. "I'll drive you, Master William."
"...Thanks, Gilbert," Will said, his eyes thanking Gilbert for his silent support.
Liam covered Will's hand. "I know you gotta do this, like I have to face Narone. Show your father who you are and the stuff you got inside you."
...
Will dressed carefully in his best suit. He'd called his father's secretary and asked to meet him on neutral territory: the university.
He adjusted his silver Armani tie and took his cane. Liam had told him that if he worked hard enough, he might be able to strengthen his leg with some of the exercises that fighters used, but for now, Will needed it.
He opened the loft door and found Gilbert waiting outside, formally dressed in his chauffeur's attire, which Will didn't insist he wear.
"Sir."
"Gilbert...Thank you for your support. For always being there for me. I wasn't always a good person, I know."
"You could be a brat," Gilbert admitted, a rare smile carving through the sad lines of his face. "But your father is a difficult man."
"You...you still love him, don't you?" Will asked.
Gilbert nodded. "I never would have slept with him if I didn't...or let him treat me the way he did."
"I'm so sorry. He's not worth you!"
"He had another side. Once. I kept looking for it for years until I finally realized it was gone. That's when I knew I had to move out with you," Gilbert said. He pushed the button to the elevator, summoning it. "The man I gave myself to would never hire someone to hurt another."
Will got in the elevator with Gilbert. He gripped his cane. "This is...hard."
"Liam is right, you have to face him. You have to grow up. You have to tell him what he's done is wrong."
"I know. I feel like...if Liam and I don't face these things we won't be able to be together somehow." Will shook his head. "I know that's not right, not really, but it feels that way. As if we can only be together if we face these tests."
"Nothing worth fighting for comes easy, Master Will. Liam has his fight...but you have yours."
...
"Father."
"Will." Arthur stood. He looked nervous, which surprised Will. Always he had seemed angry or confident...or bullying. Arthur saw Gilbert was within earshot. "Get back to the car!" he barked at the servant.
"Don't speak to him like that!"
"He's just a servant, William."
"He was your lover!"
Arthur glared at Gilbert. "You told him? How dare you!"
"Gilbert works for me now, and he's my friend."
"He was nothing but an easy fuck."
Gilbert turned to walk away then, his face resigned, but Will had seen the hurt in his eyes.
"I was afraid I'd be like you," Will said. "That...the anger inside me, and the way I like to dominate my own lover meant that I'd end up hurting him."
"Well, I'm glad you are topping that retard. I was afraid you were so soft you were letting him do you!"
Will gripped his cane, wanting to smash his father with it like he had the man who had tried to seduce Liam. "I would never treat Liam the way you treated Gilbert...or Tomas."
"You...know about Tomas?"
Will nodded. "How could you? How could you send him away?!"
Arthur flinched. "I didn't! He couldn't accept that I was a married man with a son. He felt bad that we sneaked behind your mother's back. He didn't want to hurt her or you, so he..."
"He left you."
"The night of the car accident I got word he'd been killed on a construction job. I'd always had someone watching him. I wrote him, begging him to come back to me. I'd have bought him a house, set him up."
"Why didn't you just leave my mother?"
"The...money. It was hers. Everything was hers. I was good to her and good to you. Tomas wouldn't settle for being my on the side. He was afraid of shaming my family."
"He sounds like he was a good man, so I'm sorry for you that you lost him."
Arthur nodded, tears standing in his eyes. "He couldn't read. He was nothing but a servant...but he was beautiful. I could watch him for hours. When I heard he died..."
Will swallowed, shocked to feel pity under all the rage. He'd wanted to hurt his father. He was sickened by the things he'd done.
"Just tell me one thing: did you have anything to do with Charlie's death?"
Arthur shook his head. "I wanted him threatened but not killed. Narone did that. I'm...I'm sorry, Will. I just didn't want your life twisted with the same pain mine was. Loving another man was a mistake. It only brought me pain. I wanted better for you. I wanted you to be happy."
"Don't you see? It wasn't loving Tomas that twisted your life, but the way you turned away from him. The way you turned away from Gilbert!"
"Gilbert..." Arthur looked over at the chauffeur. "He probably hates me now, like you do."
Will's eyes widened. "You love him!"
Arthur shook his head. "It doesn't matter what I feel. It's over between us. After what I said and did..."
"He still loves you. You have a lot to make up for, but you could start by apologizing to him!"
"It won't change anything, boy!"
"Maybe not, but it's the right thing to do."
Arthur bit his lip, studying the other man. "He got me through the guilt of what I'd done to you, to my wife...to Tomas. When I started to feel about him the way I had Tomas, I couldn't... You have no idea what it's like to love someone and lose them, Will."
"You never lost him," Will countered. He covered Arthur's hand. "You did terrible things to Liam, but I believe you when you say you didn't mean for Charlie to die. Only, if you'd killed Goldie, I'd never have forgiven you."
"Goldie?"
"His goldfish."
"Oh."
"You need help. Therapy. What you did to our loft. Our bed!" A thread of rage sparked through Will's tone.
Arthur looked away. "I'm...sorry. Please don't cut me from your life."
"Will you call off the fight? I'm begging you, don't make Liam face that killer!"
"I've tried. I...had a change of heart and tried to talk to Narone, but he says he has to face Liam now. If he backs down, he'll be seen as a coward."
"If he hurts Liam, I'll never forgive you. I'll never speak to you again," Will vowed, tears in his eyes.
"I'm...sorry. It's hard for me to say that to anyone, but you and...and Gilbert are the only people I care about."
"I don't think I can see you for a while. Not after what you did. And I don't trust you with my Liam. He's not stupid. He's...wonderful."
Arthur made to turn away, then he hesitated. "You're...lucky to have him. Even if I can't help but feel he's not good enough for my son."
Will sighed, watching Arthur walk away. Gilbert came and put a gentle hand on his shoulder.
"He still loves you," Will said.
Gilbert nodded. "I know. I always knew. But he needs more than what I can give him. He needs professional help."
"Charlie wasn't Liam's real father, and yet he made Liam who he is," Will told Gilbert. "And...I think the good that I saw every day in you is why I didn't become a totally selfish brat. You were the father of my heart, Gilbert. I'm sorry I didn't see it until now."
...
Back at Charlie's Gym, Liam stood with his hands clenched at his sides as one of the trainers hit his torso over and over with a gloved fist. He saw Will arrive. "Stop till he goes upstairs, okay, Ralph? He gets upset over stuff like this," Liam said. His lips were compressed from the pain of absorbing the blows.
Will strode over, his eyes burning with anger and pain as he took in Liam's sweat-soaked condition. "He was hurting you!"
"Yeah, it's part of bein' a boxer, Will. I have to be able to take a punch and keep goin'. Ignore the pain, you know?"
"You'll be black and blue!"
"Will..." Liam pulled him away from the other boxers so he could talk to him. "I'm gonna get hurt in this fight."
"No!"
"I know it. And it's okay. I just want to go the distance. Hold my ground and show Narone and everyone else I got the stuff. Show them I know what he did to Charlie, and I'm standing up for him."
"I can't..." Will swallowed. "This is just so hard! How can you ask me to watch you be hurt?"
"I want you to be proud of me. I know you don't like what I do, but if I stand up, you'll see I'm a man. Maybe...even tell me you love me and stuff," Liam said, his gaze falling away from Will's.
"Oh, Liam, you big lunk!" Will pulled Liam's head down and kissed him, taking away the sting of his words. He rubbed a gentle hand over the muscled torso he knew was covered in bruising. "I love you now! You don't need to get beaten up to earn that!"
Part 26 - Your Song
It's a little bit funny this feeling inside
I'm not one of those who can easily hide
I don't have much money but boy if I did
I'd buy a big house where we both could live
Liam put down his gloves. His right side was still giving him a bit of trouble, but he'd run out of time. The fight was coming up soon.
His trainer, Neil, who'd come in from another gym to help him out, nodded approvingly, stop watch in hand. "Not bad at all, sugar! Lookin' good. I think you'll smoke that puppy!"
"Nah, you're just bein' nice, Neil!" Liam put a friendly arm around the big African-American, who had worked for Charlie until he'd been able to afford his own place.
"I think it'll be a righteous fight, is what I think, kid. Narone's a bastard, like Tyson's a bastard. I want to see you knock him to his knees!"
The heavy metal door creaked open and Will hesitantly walked into the gym. He adjusted his glasses and looked over at Neil and Liam shyly.
"Yo! It's my Will!" Liam bellowed, loudly enough that activity stopped and there was some good-natured snickering.
"Boy, you got it bad," Neil teased. "Just remember, no...whatever it is you-boys-do-that-I-so-don't-want-to-think-about till after the match, or I'll kick your ass!"
"I swear I won't...only it's hard. I'm really horny, Neil!" Liam took off his head gear and Neil helped him with his gloves.
Liam looked over at Will as wistfully as a puppy hoping for a dog biscuit. Will had been gone so often while he was training that he'd been missing him. When he came home from his run, Will had already left and when he fell asleep early, he didn't hear Will come to bed.
"Hi," Will said.
"Hey. You're looking really fine today, you know that? I could almost eat you up, you look so fine!"
Will blushed, looking around self-consciously.
"Will don't like that I say boyfriend things to him in public, but I can't help myself," Liam told Neil, who was shaking his head. "I'm so proud he wants me and I'm his, you know?"
Will took Liam's hand. "I need to talk to you," he said, looking subdued.
"...Okay."
"In your office."
...
"Moving out! You're leaving me?"
Will was across the room, arms folded around himself. "No. No, it's not that," he said. "It's...this fight. I can't be here while you get ready for it."
"...Oh."
"I'm sorry. I've tried, but watching you train...it's so brutal. I keep worrying you're going to be truly hurt...I'm angry all the time lately, Liam. I've been seeing a therapist, but it's not enough. What if my fears spill over onto you and get you seriously hurt? I'm so...scared that's going to happen. Do you understand?"
Liam's big shoulders slumped. "Yeah, if you can't be with me..."
"It's not that."
"Yeah."
"Don't look at me like that. If my fears got you hurt, I'd never forgive myself." Will shocked them both by breaking off into a harsh sob. He covered his mouth, eyes wide.
Liam strode over and took him in his arms. "Shhhh."
"You made me love you and it hurts so much. Don't...don't get hurt, please." Will buried his face against Liam's shoulder.
"...Will you come to my fight?" Liam begged softly.
"Yes, I'll be there, only...I might stay in the, what do you call it, dressing room?"
Liam felt his spirits sink further.
"You understand, right?" Will gave Liam a pleading look.
Liam made himself nod. "It's A Okay. I get it. You don't want to see me fight. No problem, 'cause they're gonna put it on the T.V. so you can just...you know, record it. If you want."
Will looked away.
Liam stared at him hungrily.
"I’d better go upstairs and finish packing."
"Okay," Liam said.
"And you...you need to get back to the gym. Keep training!"
"Yeah. Neil says I'm gonna smoke that puppy. Can you believe he actually thinks I'm gonna win?" Liam tried to smile, wanting to share with Will.
"I just want you safe," Will whispered. He looked away, clearing his throat.
"Will? Please don't leave me for good. I know I'm not too smart, you know? And I worry I won't be that interesting to talk to for you, but I'll let you do anything to me as long as you don't leave."
"Liam...no. I don't stay with you just because you let me fuck you. I stay because I love you."
Liam nodded. "I'll make you proud."
Will pulled Liam's shaggy head down. "You make me proud now. I'm sorry! I know I'm fucking up but I can't help it. I'm scared."
"I know you are. It's okay." Liam was holding Will. Will's fingers were digging into his shoulders, holding on. Holding on.
"I'm just...scared."
...
If I was a sculptor, but then again, no
Or a man who makes potions in a traveling show
I know it's not much but it's the best I can do
My gift is my song and this one's for you
Liam watched as some technicians set up a camera in the club where he was to fight Narone. He should be in his dressing room, but he was ready. His hands wrapped, his body massaged and oiled. He was too wired to sit down. He knew he had to find that still place inside himself.
He couldn't let himself fall.
What if he couldn't get back up?
He sweated, worrying about it.
He watched as a familiar TV broadcaster pulled up a chair ringside.
They'd be filming, talking, while he and Narone pounded into each other.
Liam swallowed.
He couldn't find that place. He needed to find it or he knew he'd fall.
He relaxed as warm arms wrapped around him from behind, feeling Will's head bury itself against the back of his neck.
Liam's fingers tightened around Will's as they knitted their fingers. He didn't speak, just let Will help him find that still place.
Finally, he turned around and looked at Will, who was dressed in a suit and tie. "Hey, look at you! Lookin' very fine!"
"I bought it specially for your fight."
"You did? Well, that was very nice of you! So...I'm gonna find you in the dressing room after, right?"
Will nodded, cupping Liam's cheek.
"And I'll sleep with you tonight?"
Will hugged Liam. "Please come back to me. Please don't be hurt," Will whispered.
...
And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple but now that it's done
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world
Neil and the guys from Charlie's gym walked Liam to ringside, Neil rubbing his back, whispering to him, and the other men all behind him. Not saying anything. Just there. Letting Liam know they were with him. He was standing up for Charlie.
He glanced back before climbing into the ring, sweat coating his skin under the robe. Trying not to see the big crowd or the cameras. "I'm gonna do my best for all of you!" Liam said. One by one, the men he trained with gripped his shoulder before standing back to find their seats.
Liam's throat was tight by the time they were done. He was gay. He wasn't the best fighter...but he was their guy. He was their guy.
...
He climbed into the ring and shuffled over to his corner. He tried not to look at the crowd, tried to tune out the pre-fight talk from the sports guy. It was weird, hearing his stats coming from the guy. He'd watched him covering other fights before. Never thought he'd cover anything Liam did.
"He's gonna try to take you out fast. He has a lot of mean, but his weakness is endurance. You listening, baby?" Neil said, rubbing Liam's shoulders. "You just have to keep your feet and you can take this puppy. And you are gonna take him."
Liam nodded, trying to keep Neil from worrying.
...
Can't do it. Can't beat him. Liam hung his head, trying not to think that. But he couldn't help it. He and Neil had rewatched a lot of Narone's old matches. Narone...he was the best. He was like a vicious pit bull. You didn't want to mess with him.
He was scared.
His heart was pumping and he was trembling like a horse at the tracks, ready to go. He looked around and saw the blur of faces. It was noisier than the fights he'd done in little clubs. There were so many people he didn't know.
He was scared.
...
An elderly hand reached up and patted his bare leg from his corner. Liam looked down and saw Mr. Trent, who had been battling pneumonia and had been in the hospital during the last weeks of Liam's training. He bent down, grabbing the older man's hands.
"What are you doin' here, Mr. Trent? You should be in bed!"
"W-where else would I be, boy? Charlie Gunn would expect me to be here and I expect me to be here. I want to see you knock out that cocky bastard."
Liam blinked tears. Until now, he'd felt so alone. The old man being here...
"Scared, huh?"
Liam nodded.
"’S okay, kid. I felt the same way before I went into combat back when I was in the army. It's natural. But I have faith in you. You're one of Charlie's fighters. You got his heart, kid."
"...Sometimes. Sometimes I'm a bum."
"Not tonight." Gilbert was there, putting an arm around Mr. Trent to steady him as he leaned on his cane.
"Hey, it's my man Gilbert!" Liam crowed, feeling just a little bit better. Just a little.
"Liam." Gilbert held out his hand. Liam reached down and shook it.
"I sure appreciate you comin' to see me tonight," Liam said.
"Don't give up on him, Liam. I think he'll come watch you fight," Gilbert said, cutting to the heart of Liam's upset.
Liam ducked his head. He couldn't cry. Not here. Not now. "I can't beat Narone, you know, but maybe I can go the ten rounds. If I can do that...I can walk away. I can be with Puppy and Goldie and Will. I can do my art thing, though who would buy something from an ex-boxer, am I right?"
Mr. Trent coughed and Gilbert rubbed his back. "I have dibs on your first commission, Liam," Gilbert said. "Remember."
Liam nodded. Gilbert has asked for a painting of Tomas, the man his ex-lover had once loved. He wanted to hang it in his and Mr. Trent's loft to remember the laborer who had been a good man.
...
Narone stalked down to ringside with a parade of his people: his latest girlfriend, his trainer and assistants. He was wearing a silk robe, which was a contrast to Liam's ratty old one. He climbed through the ropes and glared over at the challenger, Liam, wasting no time.
"Think he means business," Liam joked weakly to Neil.
"Yeah, but we mean business, too, don't we?" Neil said.
...
Liam felt his tension knot further when there was a delay pre-match. Neil wasn't happy.
"Wait a minute!" Neil bellowed. "Hang on, I want a closer look at his gloves," he said, pointing at Narone.
Narone's trainer got in Neil's face and it looked as if the trainers would come to blows. Liam tugged Neil back.
"What's wrong, Neil?" Liam asked. "Why you so mad?"
"His gloves. See how high up the wrap is? He's skinning the gloves!" Neil barked.
"Fuck you! You're just a fuckin' amateur!" Narone's trainer, Bernie, yelled back.
Narone didn't want to show off his gloves, but he was forced to flash them for inspection since sharp-eyed Neil had protested. Liam and Narone both had tape wrapped around their gloves at the wrist to prevent the laces from coming loose, but the tape job Narone was sporting went even higher up the glove, forcing the padding around the knuckles to conform to a distinct advantage for Narone.
Liam watched as the tape was unwound and redone--this time while Neil watched, arms folded and mouth tight.
"I'm gonna kill your boy. Do that little fag. Don't matter to me about the gloves, you hear me?" Narone snarled at Liam's trainer.
Liam could feel his own tension rising as Narone's flat dark eyes found him, letting him feel the heat.
Gonna get you, boy, Narone mouthed, before puckering his lips into a kiss.
...
The bell rang and Liam quickly ducked down on his knees in his corner. "Hear me, Charlie? I ain't got time to pray, but I sure wish you was here tonight, you know?" He got back up and faced his opponent, holding his animal-like gaze as they began their dance, circling each other.
The noise from the crowd seemed to mute and all he could hear was his own heartbeat and the slap of his feet as he moved.
Narone suddenly broke close and feinted before catching Liam in a left uppercut, right over his bad eye. It stung, rattling Liam so he felt like his brain bounced like a ball inside his skull. He backed off, gloves up. Watching. Narone was an aggressive contender, bringing the pain to Liam.
Liam hung back, wanting to learn more about his opponent...needing to feel his feet were under him. He didn't have that groove yet.
He couldn't find his groove.
...
"C'mon, pussy boy, what kinda fighter are you? I'm gonna bend you over, you hear me, boy? It's what you fags like, ain't it?" Narone was taunting him, his words setting a slow-burning fuse and finding Liam's anger. He blinked the sweat from his eyes, still playing it cautiously, not wanting to let Narone too close until he had his feet.
"You ever bend over for Charlie? That's why he liked you so much, huh?"
In two steps Liam danced close and swatted Narone with an undercut. He felt the impact on his glove, saw the other boxer rise and spin and then he was down.
Narone shook his head, looking like a bull that had been hit by a truck, before his eyes found Liam and he growled. He got to his feet, glaring at Liam.
The bell rang and Liam retreated to his corner.
Neil rubbed Liam's shoulders as Liam held Narone's killer gaze. Narone didn't let up.
"I think you got his attention," Neil said wryly. "Watch out, 'cause he's gonna pour it on. You keep your feet. Keep your gloves up. I don't like how he went for your eye. You hear me?"
...
In the third round, Narone caught Liam to the body, quick, vicious punches to Liam's bad ribs. He grunted at the impact, bouncing against the ropes, protecting his eye as Narone landed punch after punch. He couldn't break free.
...
Round four, Narone and Liam were in a clinch. "Where's you're little blond girlfriend? I wanted to give her a kiss tonight after I put you down," Narone taunted.
Typically, Liam was grimly silent. He grunted as Narone caught him another to his head, over his eye. He could feel it swelling.
He shoved Narone free and pounded into him, momentum building, hitting him--one, two, three, forward, punch--
Narone ducked and tagged Liam's ribs before landing a solid left hook to Liam's bad eye.
Liam hit the ropes, staggering, holding on. His blood running free. He blinked, dizzy, sick. His vision grayed out...
...
"...Come on, sit now." Neil guided him to his chair, peering at Liam's eye.
"How's it look?" Liam asked.
"Like a cross between eggplant and raw meat, kid."
Liam hung his head a minute, heaving for breath. He knew he should appear unhurt. Couldn't show his pain to Narone. He forced his shoulders back and raised his chin. "I like eggplant," he told Neil. "It's really good, you know, for a vegetable."
...
I sat on the roof and kicked off the moss
Well a few of the verses well they've got me quite cross
But the sun's been quite kind while I wrote this song
It's for people like you that keep it turned on
The bell rang and Narone tagged him another to the eye, right off.
Liam lashed out, clumsy, not the dancer the other man was, but he took the punishment to the body and kept slugging, kept slugging--
Narone hit the ropes, spitting blood. Hatred poured out of his eyes like black oil.
Liam had a strange moment of deja vu. He was fighting the way Charlie had taught him. Fighting Charlie's kind of match. Had Charlie done these things? Had the old man landed a few punches but been laid low by punch after punch after punch...until his ribs gave and he couldn't see nothing and he was alone and on his knees?
...
The crowd roaring and Narone roaring merged into a long space of sound, stretching out as Liam took another punch in round nine to his bad eye. He blinked because he couldn't see colors. He could see shapes, black, white, grey, but he couldn't see the color of his own blood as he took the punishment Narone was serving up.
He was dizzy. Sound. Light. Stretching out.
"Will..." he muttered. After this fight, Will would come home to him. I'm just pieces, Will. A glove. My feet moving. My jaw taking the impact, falling back, feeling the ropes against my legs, my back. Will, I'm just pieces.
Neil was screaming instructions as Narone didn't let up. He didn't let up. Kept hitting Liam until he popped him another to the eye. Liam saw the shapes go away. The noise rise up like the ground. He was spinning, flying.
He was falling and he couldn't see it.
He couldn't see nothing.
So excuse me forgetting but these things I do
You see I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue
Anyway the thing is what I really mean
Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen
Part 27 - Something Special
He heard numbers...counting up, counting down...knockout. Someone was knocked down. Knocked out. Someone musta lost his feet...
Neil, thought he heard Neil, "Stay DOWN, stay down, boy!"
Down? Who was he talkin' to?
Liam rolled and it felt like all the soft spongy stuff in his head rolled, knocking in his head, hurting like big swollen balloons caught inside.
"I...ain't laughin' now, Neil," he whispered. He hurt. There was noise. Screams.
And then he saw the one person he wanted most to see and it all shut down.
...
Gilbert started as a hand grabbed his shoulder urgently to get his attention over the noise of the boxing fans who'd come to watch Liam and Narone face off in the ring at last. He was bent forward in his chair, watching as Liam took blow after blow, hands gripped tightly as he waited for Liam's gauntlet to be run.
"...Arthur?" He was shocked to see Will's father. Handcuffed, with a police officer holding his arm. "What?"
Arthur tried to smile. "Mind if we sit and join you? I almost didn't make Liam's fight."
"What's going on...?"
"Oh, you mean the handcuffs? This morning I visited the detective looking into Charlie Gunn's death. Told him all I knew."
"But..." Gilbert swallowed, wondering who this Arthur was. He seemed a lot like the man Gilbert had seen glimpses of, long ago. The man Gilbert had fallen in love with and finally convinced himself didn't exist. "You'll go to jail."
"Not for too long, because my lawyers will take good care of me, but yes, I imagine I will."
"If you've been arrested, how did you manage to come to the fight?"
"Oh, I asked for this as part of my agreement to share information. And this officer and his partner aren't here merely for me, but also for Narone. They intend to arrest him after the fight."
Mr. Trent had been listening quietly, though his attention was split with watching Liam in the ring. "That's good! Charlie Gunn was a good man. Narone shouldn't get away with what he done." He coughed again and Gilbert ran a worried hand over his back. He was concerned about the old man.
"And you, Gilbert, are you...happy I'm doing the right thing?"
Gilbert studied Arthur. "Yes, though I have no idea why you'd do it."
"Don't you?" Arthur asked, his eyes fixed on Gilbert's face. "Maybe while I'm in jail you can come visit me. You...and my son."
Gilbert nodded. "Yes...I might."
...
Mr. Trent smiled at Gilbert's dazed reaction. He'd been worried since he'd gotten sick that he would leave the other man behind to an empty life if he didn't recover, but it looked like Will's father had finally recognized what he'd lost. He didn't think Gilbert would be alone for long once Arthur got out of jail.
Just then, Liam took a spinning punch in the ring. He looked dazed, his body twisting, blood spurting from above his eye on impact–
Mr. Trent leaped to his feet, shouting as Liam fell, crashing like a felled tree. "Down!" he yelled, even knowing that this wasn't what the boy wanted, but he couldn't bear to see that killer batter him anymore. The truth was, Liam was outclassed. He just didn't have the heart to take on the vicious Narone.
He and Gilbert got up and made for ringside, both yelling for their Liam to stay down--
At first, Mr. Trent didn't see the slight figure standing next to Neil, Liam's trainer.
When he did, his voice fell silent, as did Gilbert's, and Neil's and all the other men who were here for Liam.
He watched as Liam's battered doe eyes found that face and fixed on it, blinking through the blood and sweat.
And Will said, "Get back on your feet. You can take him!"
...
Liam felt every muscle creak and groan like a broken down old house as he staggered, trying to find his feet. He was like a young horse, unstable, so even a stiff breeze could knock him over, but the count was relentless--
"Six! Seven!"
He grabbed the bottom rope and from there reached a hundred miles up to the top one. He used his groaning arms to heft himself and wobbled. Below him he saw Will looking up at him. Expecting him to be a man. Expecting him to stand up.
He turned around and bounced off the ropes, his gloves up, signaling he was okay.
He was ready for more.
...
Narone snarled, his lips a bloody slash of satisfaction that he was going to get to pound into Liam some more.
They met in the center, both weaving now, tired, punch drunk, like two stags clashing in the wild.
Narone watched for an opening, ready to deliver more hurt, when suddenly Liam rushed him, getting inside and clocking him with a roundhouse punch that sent the other man spinning into the ropes.
Liam didn't let up. He followed up with a long overhand right to the jaw. The punch landed flush, and he pummeled a hot volley of shots to Narone's ribs.
Narone crumpled, grunting, his mouth dripping blood and saliva as his eyes spit hate.
"You broke m'ribs, you fucking fag! I'm gonna kill your woman now! Ride her first and kill her dead, you hear me, you retarded faggot?!"
Liam couldn't see the color of the blood that flew through the air as they clashed, their gloves meeting in the war they fought. He wasn't doing this for Charlie anymore. Or to stand up.
He wasn't doing it for himself. Or to be a man.
He was doing it because he was pissed off.
"You touch him, I'll kill you," he grunted into a clinch, ready to spit out his mouth guard and set his teeth against the other man's throat for threatening Will. Rip out his fucking throat for daring to threaten Will! "I'll kill you!"
The bell rang.
The referee had to separate the fighters as they continued to savage each other--
...
"To the body, baby! That's the way to go--" Neil was instructing.
Liam groaned as his chest was rubbed with cool water. He blinked, his bad eye so swollen he could barely see through it. "Will?" he moaned, looking around like a little boy for his Santa Claus. "Will, you there?"
A pale hand grazed his leg. "I'm here."
"Don't go nowhere, okay?" Liam closed his eyes, fighting to breathe over the pain of his broken ribs.
"I've been here all along."
Liam turned on his stool and looked at Will. He smiled, with no idea how heartbreaking he looked with his battered face and broken body. "Yeah? You watched me fight, Will?"
"I had to. You're the man I love," Will said simply.
The bell rang again and Liam smiled and nodded before he got his feet under him again.
Narone staggered across the ring toward him.
And Liam went out to meet him.
...
Liam wasted no time in getting down to business.
He delivered a nasty short right hand to Narone's jaw and watched as his knees buckled, so Narone dipped at the waist and then almost went down with one of his gloves brushing the floor.
Narone swung back up at the last second, a pit bull that wouldn't give up as long as he could get meat under his jaws, his fists crashing into Liam's head, into his bad ribs, snapping another like kindling--
The air pulsed, as if it were a beating heart of pain. Liam took two aggressive steps forward and wove into the inside, methodically grinding down Narone with clubbing right hands to hammer him into submission.
"You're goin' down!" Liam followed up with another punch, feeling the impact all up and down his sore arm as he broke Narone's ribs. One, two, punch, weave, take a punch, keep his feet, stagger, then on, in, go for him, go for the body, punish the body, break, smash the body--
"You can't win, y-you're just a retard. Retard!" Narone staggered, holding Liam in a clinch.
Liam shoved him away, the colors gone, the pain, the blood, the screaming all quieting in the moment when his fist whistled through the air and crashed into the side of Narone's skull--
Narone seemed to rise and float as Liam fell back, almost losing his balance and falling--
But then his gloves came back up. He was ready for more pain. Ready to take it. To keep going.
The referee shoved him back.
Narone was down.
The numbers counted up as Liam tried to keep his feet.
And then his arm was up, lifted high by the referee--
He blinked, dazed.
His friends, reporters and cops stormed the ring.
He looked around but didn't see the face he needed to see.
"W-Will?"
Gilbert. Neil. Some guy with a microphone. All these people.
He was gonna fall on his ass. He was lost up here.
Dizzy--
A crisp new suit crushed up against his sweating, blood-spattered skin. Liam's arms wrapped him close.
Will.
"I love you, Liam! I'm so proud of you!" Will pulled his battered head down and kissed him tenderly on the lips.
"Hey, your very great suit is gettin' all..." Liam huffed, not able to finish the thought. He saw some cops helping Narone down from the ring.
Mr. Trent and Gilbert and even Arthur, Will's dad, surrounded him and Will.
"Hey, how is everyone?" he asked. "Me, I'm feelin' really good! I didn't do so bad, you know?" He bent close to Will, groaning a little. "You wanna help me walk?" he whispered.
"Always," Will said, taking his hand.
He smiled under the touch of his friends, pulling Will close. Will, who was openly crying and looking at Liam like he was really something special.
*************************
Finis
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