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Page history last edited by PBworks 17 years, 5 months ago

10 Things I'd Do With You


If We Weren't Friends



Fandom: buffy

Pairing(s): spike/xander

Warnings: D/s play, spanking, humiliation, public sex

Spoilers: N/A

Summary: Spike and Xander both receive a note about what they truly want and take action.


Nominated Category:

Best Humour Fic


Part 1


Xander couldn't sleep.




Grumpily he reached to shift the alarm clock and check out the time: 2:43 A.M.


This was all Spike's fault.


Ever since he'd left that list for Xander to find, it had been all Xander could think about.


He reached under the empty pillow next to his in the double bed he slept in and pulled out the crinkled paper, smoothing it.


All he could think of every day in the shower was the list.


He and Spike had lived together on and off for years when they had to. Now they were sharing a flat in London, both of them trouble shooters for the new council.


Everything was peachy, except it pissed rain too much here and the radiators didn't give off enough heat. People in England had healthy color in their cheeks because their houses were too cold, Xander figured. Only, because they lived here, they didn't know that.


He read the first item on Spike's list and suddenly he'd had enough!






"You want to suck it?"


Spike blinked up at him. He had bed head and one side of his face was creased from his pillow. "Some problem, Harris?"


"Yeah, I'm hard. So suck it!" Xander palmed his cock out of his PJs and put it boldly against Spike's lips. He waited, impatient as a thoroughbred waiting for the gate to open...


Spike's eyes widened... and then his lips softened and spread and accepted cock.


Xander snarled fingers in his bed hair and used it to position Spike to the edge of his bed, pulling him on his knees. He stood beside it, stroked the soft curls, and fucked his mouth.




When Xander's moment came, he felt it stampede up his balls, and he remembered the next thing on Spike's list just in time.


He pulled out and ejaculated over Spike's face. Right over his pouty, reddened lips as his fingers held Spike's head in the Vulcan death grip.




Xander dangled the handcuffs he'd bought off a guy in Soho in one hand. "Hold out your hands, Spike. Oh, and these are warded. You can't break 'em."


Spike blinked at him. He still looked sleepy and tousled, and his white curls looked angelic in the light from the hallway. He opened his mouth to speak but then held out his wrists.


Xander snapped the handcuffs on with a click of satisfaction.




"Fuck... I never knew what I was missing--" Xander's eyelashes fluttered as kneeling on the end of the bed, Spike suckled his toes. When he deep throated Xander's big toe again, Xander felt himself swelling.




"Right over my lap. That's it." Xander palmed one white ass cheek, stroking it, before his hand came cracking down. Smooth, pale moons were soon flushed Venus-pink.




"Say it!"


Spike cleared his throat. Xander guessed he was still sleepy since he needed prompting to remember everything on the list. "Say it, Spike, dirty as you can. Ask for it. Tell me what you are."


"Pussy. Yours, Harris." Spike somehow managed to climb onto his lap. Bite his ear and torment him a little. His cuffed hands outlined the ready wood Xander had grown. "Your pussy wants to be fucked. By you."




Xander opened Spike's ass cheeks. Spike was on his knees: his head on the pillow, his ass in the air. Xander studied the soft dimple and then went for it. Dug his fingers into Spike's hips and thrust his tongue inside him.




"Hold your legs open, that's right, slut. Beautiful." Xander draped Spike's legs over his shoulders. He looked down at soft, blue eyes... eyes that normally were sharp and sparkling with sarcasm as he told Harris how he was wanting. Well, he wasn't wanting now.


"No condom for sluts, that's the rule..." Xander gasped as he pushed inside.




Started off fast, like a gallop, but as he fucked Spike, the misty eyes, soft as haze on a rainy day, bewitched him. He broke away from the script: leaned down and kissed him.




"Okay, I'm ready," Xander had freed Spike and he had him draped over him like a pale blanket. He was stroking his smooth back, loving the feel of the velvet skin he now owned. "Lay it on me. Tell me how you feel about me, Spike... how you--" he broke off, not able to say those words, even if Spike had asked for them on the list.


"Love you, Harris. Have for a long, long time," Spike nuzzled his neck. "God, I never thought you'd get a clue. You were always such a stupid gomer about it."


Xander frowned at the gomer but then smiled over the love you, Harris. Spike had been very good. He could make allowances.


"I love you too, Spike, even though you're a sarcastic little pipsqueak of a vampire who just thinks he's the big bad."


"What?" Spike looked huffy as he sat up. Xander reached down for the erection that had risen as faithful as the dawn.


"The list was a great way to get my attention."


"List? What list?" Spike blinked at him.


Xander frowned and snagged the crumpled paper from the corner of the bed. The paper was even more crushed from being under Xander's knees while he fucked Spike and there was a bit of white fluid drying on one corner. He cleared his throat in embarrassment. "Your list, you know, that you left for me to find?"


Spike sat up, turned on the light, and read his list.


"S'not mine."




"A: It's typed. Wouldn't type porn, Harris. You need a good pen for that. B: Ass, not arse. Says, "want you to spank my ass." I wouldn't say that."




"Oh, God!"


"Breathe, Harris!"


"You must have thought... what did you think when I came in your bedroom and... and demanded you... Oh, God!"


"Didn't think so much as open up and take it, now did I?"


Spike kissed Xander. When their tongues tangled, Xander's embarrassment faded as well as his death wish and soon they were warming up for an unstaged bout.




"So whose list is it?"


"Dunno." Spike turned over the piece of paper and found instructions scrawled on the back to where a familiar house was located. He blinked. Naw, couldn't be.


"Lemme see."


"What, you never read the back?"


"Uh, no, sometimes I didn't get past rule one before I creamed in my own hand."


"I'm flattered." Spike kissed Xander, well satisfied the boy had finally come to him, for whatever scatter-brained reason. "See? Instructions to the house warming party at Dawn's a month back. That's her writing."


"Dawn? How come our little Dawny has a list like that?" Xander's voice had risen.


"No idea. Suppose we could ask her."


Horrified, Xander shook his head. "I know she's dating but..."


Spike smiled. "Little girls grow up and like to be spanked."


"Oh, God. I think I need to put my head between my knees."


Spike kissed Xander. "There, there, darling. I think I can find a way to distract you..." And he knelt between Xander's knees and did it very well.


Part 2


"So that was some nest we took out tonight, huh?" Xander smiled as Spike handed him a beer. England had great beer, and it was something a man craved in the middle of a hot, muggy summer.


Spike tapped his fingers against his pint, looking distracted.


He'd been like this for days.


Xander looked around, seeing the other men, and wondering if he'd put himself on the market tonight to go home with someone for a date. He was lonely, and his love life hadn't improved any after he'd come out.


He looked at Spike's compact body, and then needed something cold to sip.


Spike's blue eyes glared at him. He put his pint down with a thump. "Right. I've had enough of your shit, Harris!" He snarled.


"Huh?" Xander blinked. He couldn't figure out why his roomie was so pissed. "B-but--"


"Don't stutter, damn you! I want you to drop those trousers and bend over our table. Now."




"Are you insane?"


"You made me this way, you fuckin' gomer! Flashing it around. Giving it free to anyone else, eh? But I know what you want now!" Spike pulled out a crinkled piece of paper and waved it under Xander's chin. "So we'll start with number one on your list: spanking."




Spike transformed into his demon self.


"You said I could get rough if you said no. You want me to do that? I'm about ready to break a chair over your head, you fuckin' tease!"


Xander stared into gold don't-mess-with-me eyes. He shivered, the same as he had the very first time he'd seen Spike in an alley, threatening Buffy.


"I'm not a tease," he found himself squeaking.


But this was not the Spike to mess with.


A thrill of danger ran down Xander's back and then--


He got up, eyes down, telling himself it was insane, he was insane. Why was he doing this? Dropping trou because Spike threatened him? So what, Spike was just--


"You got a nice tight arse, Harris," Spike cupped him appreciatively. Xander stared at the brown vinegar on the table. There was hardly anyone here, thank God, and the English politely averted their eyes...mostly. "I'm gonna fuck it soon."


"Yes, Spike," Xander said quietly. His hands gripped the table and Spike's hand came down, and when he struck Xander's right ass cheek, Xander shuddered with mingled pain, embarrassment and the most intense, burning arousal of his life.




Thankfully a punishment wasn't something rare in the hangout where he and Spike had gone for a beer. Not even one given to the red bottom of a human by a demon.


Spike tapped Xander's shoulder and Xander stood. His bum felt radioactive. Spike had been pissed. He stared at Spike's hands. Those hands had just spanked him. In public. Bent over their table.


And Xander had allowed it.


He'd bent over that table at Spike's command.


What was he doing?


He didn't have time to think about it. He saw Spike dig into his back pocket and come out with something that made him want to take a step back.


He looked at Spike and saw his face was still hard, but his eyes were asking. Is this too much?


Years. They'd lived together years. How long had Xander stroked himself and tried not to think about his roommate. They'd been so polite with each other. Careful to stay in their rooms. But when Xander was bent over someone's sofa, he closed his eyes and thought of Spike. And when he got home, he made himself forget. He'd been so careful.


Xander bent his head, and Spike buckled on the collar. He snapped on a leash, and Xander pulled his pants back up over his nudity and then Spike guided him to the floor.


He passed Xander his beer as if nothing had happened. As if he hadn't just spanked him and then collared and leashed him. As if Xander wasn't kneeling between his legs.


Cool fingers played with his hair and Xander shuddered, feeling dizzy and...happy. He took a deep sip, calming himself.


"Soon, Spike?"




"You said that you'd...you know." Xander looked up at Spike, hiding nothing.


"Fuck, you're brave. Figured you'd go on denying it and drivin' me mad."


"Maybe when I was younger, but after Anya died, I stopped wasting time," Xander said. "I've just lacked direction since then."


Spike's hand petted him. "I'll take care of the direction now."




"I'm gonna finish my beer." Spike unzipped himself and his pale marble cock fell out, the tip flushed deep plum. "Keep it hard but don't make me come, or I'll have to punish you."


Xander couldn't believe it. He was surely going to put his foot down now--


"I haven't had a lot of practice." He found himself admitting.


"At all?" Spike's eyes softened. He was caressing Xander now. All his earlier haste and piss a little softer. Unlike his prick. "Suck it, Harris, there's a good boy."


Xander sat up on his knees and bent over Spike's cock like a worshiper with his god. He took in just the tip, giving it a lazy swipe of his tongue to get his own back.


"Take it all, slut. You're a natural born cocksucker." Spike stroked his hair, and though Xander knew he should be pissed at what Spike said, he pushed down to take more, feeling his own penis needy and stiff in his pants.




He brought Spike to the verge easily, taking that cock into his mouth and bobbing up and down energetically. He forgot about Spike's rule about not making him come in his enthusiasm, so when he brought him off, Spike pulled out and pulsed come over his lips and neck and chest. Holding Xander's eyes so he'd know what he was doing. Marking him.


"Told you there'd be a fine if you brought me off here. I'll take you to the men's now and clean you up, pet," Spike purred.




Eyes down, embarrassed to be led by his new leash by his new master while his face and tee shirt were wet with his come, Xander followed behind Spike obediently. He wasn't sure why his surrender was so effortless except that horrible directionless feeling, as if Xander were a smashed compass and his life and actions were meaningless, was gone.


Spike wanted him.


Spike wanted to please him. Somehow this was all about what Xander wanted, though he'd never known until he bent over that table, that this was what he needed.


Spike dabbed him carefully with warm, wet paper towel. Xander finally raised his eyes and saw satisfaction and tenderness in Spike's smiling blue eyes.


Spike reached down and gave him a gentle, friendly squeeze.


And Xander knew that Spike would give him what he needed.




"Would have liked the first time at home in our bed, but this is what my boy wanted--"


Xander looked at his own hands, palm flat against the rough, brick wall of an alley. He frowned, about to speak, but then he felt cool fingers anointed with lube find him. Circle and pry him gently open, moving past the ribs of Xander's resistance to find the place where he needed Spike.


Out here in the alley, Spike had stripped him of everything except his collar, but his long sweeping coat loomed protectively close, hiding Xander's pale nudity from the rest of the world so it belonged to Spike alone.


Spike pushed inside him and Xander gasped and then felt burning tears brim in his eyes.


"Oh, pet. Wanted this so long, didn't you? Me too, God--" Spike pushed home and ground into Xander. Bent like this, it was easy to turn his face and meet dark blue eyes. To share a kiss.


To let Spike comfort him and minister to him.




Spike made Xander grab his own ankles as Spike used his ass.


Xander heard the slick, sloppy sound of easy sex, felt the brush, too gentle inside, and felt his own helplessness. He couldn't move. He just stood there like a statue Spike had arranged and had to take it.


He loved every second of it!


"Please, Spike--"


"Need to be reamed out good." Spike began to pump, his cock prodding Xander. Pushing him, freeing him.


When Spike gave the word, Xander splattered come over the side of the brick alley wall. Spike caressed his back approvingly. "Good boy. Very nice."




Spike made Xander walk back to their flat naked. Wearing nothing but his collar.


If Xander hadn't been so sore and dazed he would have had a few things to say. As it was, for some reason, no one seemed to see Xander. Spike's coat always curved around him whenever a passerby strolled past.


When they reached the door of their flat, that was when Xander recovered enough to tell Spike off.


But as usual, Spike took the wind out of his sails.


"That was hard. Didn't like puttin' you on display like that. Know you wanted it, but that's the last time. This body is for me alone to see." And Spike gave Xander's bare ass a familiar pat before he opened the door to their flat and led Xander inside by his collar.


Xander blinked. Just a few hours ago he'd left here, side by side with Spike, as always. Wearing clothing. Not wearing a collar.


Now he was back, and Spike had him naked, and leashed, and full up the ass with his come.




Xander dropped to his knees and hugged Spike's legs.




"Tell me, pet. I was good. Did what you wanted..."


"I love you, Spike." After everything else, this was easy, when he'd always thought it would be impossible. But Spike had slowly stripped him, starting at the hovel where they went to drink, so that now he could say it. He could give it.


"Love you too, pet. I wanted you a long time but figured me bein' a demon and all, you'd never lower yourself. Was enough to be close to you. Almost, leastways, though when you jerked off at night I thought I'd lose it...then you left me that list."


Xander's brow furled. "List? What list, Spike?" Some of the old impatience was back: Xander's mouthiness no longer eclipsed by being Spike's sudden conquest.


Spike went over to the couch, leading Xander on his knees. He took out the crinkled paper he'd flapped under Xander's nose at the bar. "This list...you know, the ten things you wanted me to do with you if we weren't friends? Had it for weeks! And you, all coy about it. Acting like you didn't know I had it, you bastard!"


Xander's mouth dropped. He took the list and looked at it. "It's...typed."




"So, uh, I don't type porn. Actually, I don't even write porn. It’s all in my head and...oh, my God! I'm glad you modified number seven!" Xander's eyes saucered.


Spike squirmed. "What d'you mean? You mean you've never seen this before?"


"No, stupid, I haven't."




"I can't believe you thought this was my list! That I'd ever let you...a--"


Spike smiled smugly, holding Xander's gaze and raising his eyebrows.


Xander blushed fiery red, and then he laughed, ducking his head. "Guess the fact I'm wearing your collar kind of makes that a moot point."


"You look right good in my collar, pet." Spike leaned down and kissed him. "If the list wasn't yours, then I wonder where it came from?"


Xander turned it over and spotted familiar hand writing. "Willow's hand writing!"




"Didn't you ever read the other side, Spike?" Now Xander held Spike's eyes, laughing at him.


"Well, it was just a couple of weird glyphs. Didn't seem to mean anythin'. Should we ask her about how I came to find it in my pocket one night after patrolling with you?"


Xander shook his head. "Magic, probably."


He smiled as Spike leaned down to kiss him, proving it was.


"The truth is...I never paid too much attention to the glyphs on that paper because I liked the list side better," Spike admitted.


Xander rested his head on Spike's knee. "So do I," he said.





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