Part Ten: First Date? Part Eleven: Three Rodneys Part Twelve: Sharing a Plate Part Thirteen: Universal Constant

 

Part Ten: First Date?

 

 

Rodney McKay spent a sleepless night tossing and turning. Sheppard had told him to figure out what was bothering him but he thought he had that pretty much figured out already – it was the solution to it that was eluding him. The truth was that having Rodney Sheppard around had bothered him from the very beginning because he was jealous of him; jealous of his happiness, of his ease around people when Rodney felt so awkward, and, most of all, jealous of his relationship with the General.

 

Rodney had been in denial about it for a long time but the previous day's events now forced him to confront the truth - and that truth was that he wanted what Rodney Sheppard had – and he didn't like the idea that he wanted it. More than anything else he was stunned that he wanted it – this wasn't something he would ever have imagined he desired, in a million years, but he did – and now he had to get used to the idea because it didn't look as if it was going away. What the hell should he do about it though? Rodney had no idea, and it didn't matter how much he tossed and turned, he couldn't come up with an answer.

 

Finally he got up, took a shower and got dressed. He looked like shit – there were dark shadows under his eyes and his mouth area was too sore for him to shave so he left his chin stubbled. Hunger drove him to the mess hall and he entered it, shoulders hunched, mouth set in a crooked line, daring anyone to talk to him. He wanted to eat alone but his gaze fell on a lone figure pushing his food around his plate and he hesitated, then squared his shoulders and walked over. He wasn't sure what his reception would be but he knew he had an apology to make.

 

Rodney Sheppard didn't look so good either. He was half sitting, half kneeling on the chair, balancing on his leg which was bent underneath him, so that his ass wasn't actually touching the surface of the chair, and his face was pale. He didn't look tired but he did look washed out, and his eyes were ever so slightly red rimmed. He actually looked rather young – and kind of vulnerable. Rodney was brought up short by that analysis – he'd never viewed himself in that light before, had never seen himself as others might see him, and he'd never realised that there might be times when he also looked like this. He felt an odd surge of affection for his counterpart and wondered if other people sometimes felt that for him. He would never have thought so before today.

 

"Hey," he said quietly, coming to stand in front of the other man. "I'll understand if you tell me where to go, but I just wanted to apologise."

 

The other Rodney glanced up, and, much to Rodney's surprise, gave him a wan smile.

 

"That's okay. Sit down," he said, gesturing with his spoon. Rodney was even more surprised by that and he took his place opposite his counterpart.

 

"I really am sorry," he said humbly. "I never meant to get you into trouble, and I shouldn't have said those things to you."

 

"Thank you," his counterpart said softly. "That means a lot. I'm sorry too."

 

Rodney glanced up, eyebrows raised. The other Rodney nodded his head at Rodney's lip.

 

"Looks like I actually managed to land a decent punch for once," the other Rodney said, with a wry smile. Rodney grinned, then wished he hadn't as his lip split a little more and he tasted the salty tang of fresh blood.

 

"I thought you were pretty good actually," he said. "Considering you're, you know, me, and generally speaking fisticuffs aren't my thing."

 

"Me neither."

 

"Guess we just both know the right buttons to push to get a reaction," Rodney sighed. "Question is why we want to keep pushing them the whole time."

 

"I think, in your case, that you just don't like yourself very much," his counterpart said slowly, without any hint of aggression.

 

"John...Colonel Sheppard said that once too," Rodney replied. "Which is strange because I always feel I like myself plenty."

 

The other Rodney snorted. "Yeah. Me too, except...we both have two different sides to our personalities, don't we? And one of them is a lot less self assured than the other. I'm guessing it was that side that was so freaked out by having me around."

 

Rodney stared at him blankly. He'd never really thought of himself in such an analytical way before. He generally found other people's emotions and motivations a mystery, and his own were often no clearer to him. The other Rodney smiled.

 

"Sometimes, after I've been punished, I have these moments of clarity when I can figure everything out and it all makes sense to me," he explained. "John pretty much insists on me spending some quiet time after a severe punishment. It's the only time when my brain slows down enough to see some of the really obvious stuff that's been staring me in the face the whole time."

 

"What did he do to you?" Rodney asked, biting on his lip and tasting blood again. "Last night, after..." He trailed off.

 

"He used a switch. Definitely something to be avoided if at all possible," his counterpart told him with a grimace.

 

"Oh shit. I'm so sorry," Rodney said again.

 

"You can stop apologising, Rodney. I didn't like it but it did help me figure out a few things in my head. I'm sorry I allowed you to get to me – I should have realised why I was always rising to your bait. John told me ages ago that the problem was that you remind me of myself, and he's right. I should have recognised that and accepted it. Instead it just kept niggling at me."

 

"I remind you of yourself?" Rodney wrinkled his forehead, trying desperately not to make that question sound confrontational but really not seeing it. Their lives and outlook seemed so different.

 

"Before John. I was a lot like you. I didn't understand myself...I was lonely and angry about a lot of things that I couldn't even put into focus. Being with you just brought it all back, all the negative stuff, and I didn't like it."

 

"You think I'm lonely and angry?" Rodney gazed at his counterpart in surprise.

 

"Yes. I do." The other man nodded. "Let's face it, McKay, if your childhood was anything like mine then it was *really* fucked up."

 

Rodney was brought up short by that. Generally speaking he preferred not to think about his childhood a great deal. It hadn't been terrible – nobody had hit him and there had always been food on the table, but, all the same, he didn't have any particularly good memories of it.

 

"Parents at each other's throats all the time, being picked on at high school. Being a genius worked great as a way of distracting our parents from tearing each other apart, but it just made the being picked on thing worse," his counterpart muttered. Rodney felt his muscles tighten.

 

"I don't think about it very often. I'm sure other people have it much worse," he replied.

 

"Yeah, but it was a lonely childhood and nobody ever helped you out, or took your side, and the anger over the unfairness of it all didn't go anywhere except the pit of your stomach," his counterpart said softly. There was no point in denying it because the other Rodney knew him as well as he knew himself. Rodney gazed at him with eyes that felt suddenly prickly. "It's just that nobody was ever that nice to you so you never got into the habit of being nice back," the other man continued.

 

"Did we have the same parents?" Rodney asked. "I mean, wouldn't yours have been in a..." He flushed, too embarrassed to even think about it.

 

"They were both switches," his counterpart said with a nod. "Always fighting over who was in charge and neither would give an inch. Hopelessly mis-matched. I ran off to college the minute I was old enough and fell into some bad relationships. I never expected anyone to love me and that was a good thing because nobody really did until John came along."

 

"Relationships?" Rodney asked, curious about his counterpart's history.

 

"Yeah. Some with women, some with men. I even topped – I wasn't bad at it but sometimes I wasn't so great at it either," he sighed. "And when I got it wrong I *really* got it wrong – and that's a lot of responsibility when you're taking care of another human being. Then there was a whole string of one night stands," he grimaced. "They really should have been more fun than they were but I was too fucked up by that point."

 

"Man, sounds like you've had a whole lot of sex," Rodney commented, feeling vaguely envious.

 

"Sure." His counterpart shrugged, and then gazed at him questioningly.

 

"Me, not so much," Rodney said quietly.

 

"Why not?"

 

"Well, in case you haven't noticed, people don't like me much and it's hard to get from 'I hate you, you're a pig' to 'okay but will you sleep with me?' in one easy step. Although that's not to say I didn't try." Rodney spooned some food into his mouth and started to munch.

 

"Right." The other Rodney frowned. "I think you're wrong about people not liking you though. I think they do – but you never see it. You're so busy keeping people at bay with that sharp tongue of yours that you just assume they all dislike you. They don't. Even I can see that – Carson and Radek have both leapt to your defence when I bad mouthed you to them, and Elizabeth, Teyla and Miko all have a soft spot for you."

 

"Really?" Rodney was sure he looked as surprised as he felt.

 

"Really. And that's not even taking the Colonel into account," the other Rodney added. "He likes you too – a lot. I can see how in your universe the whole sex thing must be harder though. We're a lot more open about sex where I come from. Still, even despite your savagely anti-social tendencies I'm surprised you've missed out."

 

"Why?" Rodney frowned.

 

"Well, you must have noticed how hot we are," his counterpart grinned. Rodney choked on his food.

 

"What?"

 

"Hot. We're hot, Rodney. You do know this, right?"

 

Rodney glanced around the room, worried that they'd been overheard.

 

"Really?" he whispered. "I mean, I kind of always thought so but when the rest of the world keeps on knocking you back you have to wonder."

 

"Oh no. We're hot," his counterpart told him confidently. "The other night when I was dressed in that outfit John got for me – I could have had half the room if I'd wanted."

 

"I did notice you got looked at," Rodney mused.

 

"You're kind of hot too – only you don't look comfortable in your own skin and that comes across. You're sort of awkward. Also, the clothes could do with some work."

 

"There's nothing wrong with my..." Rodney stopped himself and sighed. "Sorry. I don't want to start arguing again."

 

"Look, while we're not arguing, there are some other things I should apologise for as well. I knew I was doing some stuff that was winding you up and I kept on doing it. Take Radek for example," his counterpart made a little face. "I know how you feel about him because I felt the same. He's your right hand man, your little partner in crime – and he's the only person around here who can really keep up with you. I knew you were feeling left out by my friendship with him but I just kept on doing it – it wasn't just to annoy you either. I miss him, Rodney." Rodney glanced up at the note of sincerity in the other man's voice. "I really miss him," his counterpart said, his blue eyes glittering slightly. "I didn't even realise how much I liked him until he was dead and then...the lab's never been the same since. The others are fine but Miko's no substitute and Peter's a good, solid technician but he's no Radek Zelenka."

 

"I had no idea." Rodney shook his head. "To be honest, I also had no idea I even liked Radek that much until you started cosying up to him."

 

"There are a lot of things you have no idea about, McKay," his counterpart said quietly. "That's another thing that's been winding me up to be honest. Watching you and the Colonel..." He shook his head. "I know it's none of my business and I know it shouldn't affect me, but just the thought of me not being with John makes me anxious...so watching you two dance around each other has made me permanently edgy. That's another reason why I've been reacting so badly to you."

 

"There is nothing going on between me and the Colonel," Rodney replied stiffly. "There isn't even the remotest possibility of anything happening between me and the Colonel. Whatever you think you see is entirely in your imagination."

 

His counterpart gazed at him with clear blue eyes and Rodney felt himself wilting under the steady stare. "Rodney – this is *me* you're talking to, remember," the other man snorted. "I know you better than anyone else here. Lying to me is like lying to yourself...oh! That's what you've been doing, isn't it?"

 

Rodney shook his head, numbly, and gazed blindly at his food.

 

"Rodney?" his counterpart said softly.

 

"What I can't figure out..." Rodney said finally, his voice breaking, "is whether I've always felt like this and just been ignoring it, or whether I only started feeling this way after you two arrived."

 

"Does it matter?"

 

"Well yes, obviously, because when you go I might go back to..."

 

"Rodney – it's never going to go away," his counterpart interrupted him. "And my guess is that we didn't cause it – you've just been suppressing it for a long time and we brought it right out into the open. I mean, I've watched you, and you two flirt like crazy – I don't believe that only started when we arrived."

 

"Flirt?" Rodney frowned, puzzled. His counterpart rolled his eyes.

 

"Like crazy," he confirmed. "When you first sucked us in here I just assumed you were together because of the vibe you had going on."

 

"I really don't see that but anyway, it doesn't matter. Nothing is going to happen between the Colonel and myself – apart from anything else you should see the number of women who throw themselves at him, and he hasn't by any means turned *all* of them down."

 

"Well you can't blame the guy! He's not getting any from you so why shouldn't he take it when it's offered elsewhere!" the other Rodney snorted.

 

"You're missing my point! It's *women* he's attracted to, not men, and most definitely not me," Rodney told him firmly.

 

"How do you know he's not bisexual?"

 

"Just because everyone in your universe is bisexual doesn't mean everyone in ours is!" Rodney protested.

 

"Or maybe, because of this weird gay taboo thing you've got going, people just hide it," his counterpart said with a shrug.

 

"Trust me, the Colonel isn't bisexual," Rodney said. "And even if he was, a man like him sure as hell wouldn't be interested in me."

 

"Why not?" the other Rodney asked curiously.

 

"I just doubt I'm his type," Rodney shrugged. "I think he'd go for someone more obvious."

 

"Some brainless, muscle-bound hunk? I don't think you know the Colonel that well if you think that," the other Rodney said, frowning.

 

"I don't understand why you think he's interested in me," Rodney said, frowning back. "He hasn't done anything, or said anything...he hasn't made a move...I just don't get what it is that you think you're seeing."

 

The other Rodney sighed. "I'm trying to be patient because I know how incredibly dense you can be about these things. Okay, let me try to enlighten you. Has the Colonel been spending more time with you lately?"

 

Rodney screwed up his face. "Well, yes, but I figured that was because of this unusual situation – you know, with you two guys being around."

 

"Okay. Has he been unusually interested in you – does he look at you differently, and touch you more? Is he more protective, does he seek you out and escort you back to your quarters after work?" the other Rodney asked. Rodney hesitated.

 

"Well, yes, but I just thought..."

 

"He's courting you," the other Rodney said, in a 'told you so' kind of voice, as if the matter had been resolved.

 

"Courting...that's an incredibly old fashioned kind of word!" Rodney protested.

 

"I know. He's an old fashioned kind of guy – you'll figure that one out soon enough. My John did the same – kept hanging around until I thought he was stalking me. Eventually I figured that these were his advances and only when I was comfortable with that and relaxed a bit around him did he make his move. Your John will be the same – he won't do anything until you're ready."

 

"Ready?" Rodney felt his voice quavering slightly.

 

"Ready to have a relationship with him. He won't be interested in a one night stand or a fuck buddy. If he wants you then he'll want all of you, and he won't settle for less. Took me awhile to see that and it was painful for a bit too until I had it figured out."

 

"I've never slept with a man before," Rodney muttered, feeling himself flushing. "I don't think I'll *ever* be ready for that."

 

"It's great," the other Rodney grinned. "I love it – you will too if you give it a chance."

 

Rodney gazed at him doubtfully. "But even if he is...even if by some miracle the Colonel is interested in me, I really can't see it going anywhere. I mean...it's absurd," he sighed.

 

"Works for me and John," the other Rodney said.

 

"Well, that's another thing. If you two are the role model for a relationship between me and the Colonel then quite frankly that makes it even more absurd...and disturbing."

 

"Why?"

 

Rodney took a deep breath. "Look, I don't want to cause any more offence after yesterday, but you and he...it's not exactly a relationship of equals is it?"

 

"Yes, it is," his counterpart said earnestly. "You don't see it because you can't get beyond the collar, and the idea of two guys being married, and the concept of submission as anything other than somehow demeaning, but we are equal. We both know our role and responsibility within our marriage – and I'm hardly brow beaten am I? I don't cringe and quiver around him. Of course we're equals."

 

"Then why do you wear the collar? Why are you the one with the mark on your arm – what's that, like a branding? Like you're cattle or something? It's unlike any tattoo I've ever seen," Rodney said, pointing at the elegant etching on his counterpart's upper arm.

 

"The collar is like a wedding ring – it's kind of old fashioned but I like wearing it and John likes to see me in it. The tattoo is a technique called latiquing – you use a special liquid that turns silver when it's applied to the skin via a needle – it hurts like hell so it helps to be in the right headspace when you do it. None of this stuff matters though – you could take it all away and it wouldn't make any difference because at the end of the day it's all about trust – and you don't trust anyone, Rodney, not even yourself. Until you do, you'll be trapped inside a misery entirely of your own making and nobody will be able to help you."

 

"You don't understand - you're asking me to change everything I believed myself to be," Rodney told him helplessly.

 

"And does everything you believe yourself to be make you happy?" his counterpart asked softly. "Because if not – maybe it needs changing, hmm?"

 

Rodney had no reply to that but he didn't need one because at that moment the General strode up to the table. Rodney felt himself flushing as he remembered the events of the previous evening but the General seemed to be in a good mood and he nodded at him and wished him good morning.

 

"You two boys okay?" he asked, casting an anxious look at his husband.

 

"We're fine. Just...burying a few hatchets," the other Rodney said, with a smile.

 

"I'm pleased to hear it," the General beamed. "So – are you ready, Rodney?" he asked his husband. Rodney Sheppard grinned, and got up – stifling a grimace as he slid his leg off the chair and eased himself cautiously to his feet.

 

"Definitely ready," he said. "Oh, I should have told you – I won't be working in the lab today, McKay. John's taking me to the mainland for some R&R."

 

"Yeah – that's where I've been – requisitioning a jumper from the Colonel. I'm taking Rodney to this great beach we found a week or two back," the General said, putting an arm around his husband and kissing him on the cheek. The other Rodney gave that little giggle of his and somehow Rodney didn't find it so irritating any more. In fact, there was something endearing about it – and about how sincerely and unashamedly in love these two men were. Usually Rodney found that kind of stuff unbearably sappy and embarrassing, but maybe he was getting used to it, or maybe they'd just worn him down from being around so long.

 

"It's a nice day," the other Rodney said. "You should get out more, have more fun, McKay."

 

"Yeah. Right," Rodney sighed. He had to admit that the idea of a day away from all his problems did sound appealing and he envied them.

 

"He's been working too hard. I should have done this before now," the General said, squeezing his husband's arm. "Took yesterday's fiasco to make me realise I haven't been spoiling him enough."

 

"Oh one thing – before we go," the other Rodney said. "Show Dr McKay your arm, John."

 

"My arm?" The General looked confused. The other Rodney tapped his left bicep.

 

"Dr McKay is struggling to understand our relationship. He seems to think we're not equal. I thought maybe if you showed him..."

 

"Oh. Right. Yeah." The General grinned and undid his shirt, then peeled the fabric down his shoulder to reveal the top of his left arm. There, etched on his flesh in silver piping, was the same elegant entwined J and R tattoo that Rodney had seen on his counterpart's upper arm – although on his right arm, not his left.

 

"I did his first as a matter of fact," Rodney said. "The night we lifebonded – the design was mine too and he was nervous in case he got it wrong so I went first. Then afterwards, he did mine." He glanced down at his own arm. "Opposite arms – it's traditional and they touch when we walk side by side."

 

"Yeah. I'm crap at design and stuff like that," the General grinned. "Rodney's got a good eye for detail – and a steady hand. Luckily we were deep in the lifebonded headspace when we latiqued each other or I'd have screwed it up and ended up making a mess of it. As it was...hell, I felt like I could do *anything* that night. That's when we first felt the Kaeira and it blew me away. As for being equal – of course we are." He shrugged, as if that was self-evident. "I mean – Rodney's pretty much the smartest guy on Atlantis, as he keeps reminding us every five minutes." The General grinned at his husband. "And I doubt you *could* even lifebond with someone if you felt they were beneath you. The ritual wouldn't work."

 

Rodney gazed at them both, spellbound by this glimpse into their society. He wasn't entirely sure he understood it, but there was something exotic and beautiful about it all the same.

 

"We gotta go if we're going to make a day of it," the General said, fastening his leash to the other Rodney's collar, and wrapping the end of it around his fist. "See you later, Doc – have a good day."

 

Rodney watched them go. He wasn't sure he was ever going to entirely wrap his head around their relationship but he envied them their easy closeness. Despite what had happened the previous day, today they were as besotted with each other as he'd ever seen them.

 

 

 

Rodney made his way back to the lab, feeling strangely depressed – not by his conversation with the other Rodney, but by his counterpart's relationship with the General and his own sense of loneliness. He wasn't sure what that was about – he never usually felt this way. He thought he had pretty much got used to being a loner but now he had all these emotions coursing around inside him that had nowhere to go.

 

His staff gazed at him warily as he entered the lab and he grimaced, feeling their eyes flicker over his stubbled chin and bruised mouth. He refused to enlighten them though and just glared at them, daring them to say anything. Needless to say, nobody did, although Radek did give him a sympathetic look and hand him a cup of coffee before scurrying away, clearly worried that some kind of tongue-lashing would be incurred by anyone who lingered too long in Rodney's vicinity. Rodney had done about half an hour's work under the casing when he realised that the atmosphere in the lab had changed, and everyone had gone rather quiet. He poked his head out and his heart sank as he saw Colonel Sheppard standing in the doorway.

 

"Dr McKay. Could I have a word with you please?" the Colonel asked. Rodney nodded curtly and got to his feet, uncertain where they stood after the previous evening and whether the Colonel was still angry with him. He went over to stand in front of the Colonel and the other man gazed at him searchingly for a moment, his gaze lingering for a long time on his split lip, an unreadable expression in those hazel eyes.

 

"How are you doing?" he asked eventually.

 

"Fine," Rodney replied sharply.

 

"Good. I want you to finish up here and come with me then," Sheppard said.

 

"Why?" Rodney demanded warily.

 

"Because I want to give you a flying lesson," Sheppard said.

 

"What?!" Rodney gazed at him, completely floored. Of all the things Sheppard could have said right now that would have been last on his list.

 

"Do you want a flying lesson or not?" Sheppard asked. Rodney thought about it for a moment – he loved the flying lessons Sheppard had given him in the past but this was so weirdly out of the blue.

 

"Well...now?" he queried. "Why now?"

 

"Why not now?" Sheppard countered.

 

"Because...I'm working?" Rodney suggested, waving his hand around the lab. He was suddenly aware that everyone was being studiously quiet as they strained to overhear his conversation with the Colonel. He hoped they didn't think Sheppard was offering to take him out on a date or something...and then it occurred to him that might be exactly what the Colonel was intending and he flushed bright red.

 

"You work all the time. You do double the hours your staff do and you need a break. I checked the logs – you haven't taken one day off in four weeks," Sheppard told him. "And you work regular seventeen hour days." He took hold of Rodney's arm and led him to one side so they wouldn't be overheard. "I told you this would happen – I said you'd be a wreck if you worked at this pace and you are - just look at you," he whispered.

 

"I said I'm fine," Rodney hissed.

 

"Well you don't look it and you aren't acting it," Sheppard said. "I'm worried about you. I want you to take a break before you end up getting into more fights, or blowing up the city, or something."

 

Rodney gazed at him helplessly. He couldn't honestly remember the last time anyone had cared what hours he worked, or how he looked. Even Carson was happy to hand out the stimulants when Rodney bullied him into it, just so he could keep working. He remembered what the other Rodney had said about Sheppard courting him – was that what this was? Or was the Colonel really just worried about the safety of the city when its Head of Science was so close to breaking point? And if it was the former and not the latter, how did he feel about it?

 

"Okay," he said suddenly, surprising himself by the obvious answer to his question about how he felt about going on a date with the Colonel. Sheppard blinked.

 

"Really?" He looked surprised too, as if he thought it would have been harder to convince Rodney.

 

"Sure. Why not? You're right. These guys should pull their weight more anyway," Rodney said in a slightly louder voice so they could all hear. "Okay, boys and girls, listen up!" he said. "I'm out of here. Radek – you're in charge."

 

And with that he turned on his heel and left, still flushing wildly at the thought that everyone on his staff had just heard Sheppard asking him out on what might, or might not, be a date. As they walked out of the door Sheppard's hand came to rest on his shoulder, the way it always seemed to when they walked anywhere these days. Rodney tried to relax – if this was a date then maybe it would give him a chance to figure out whether there was any way in hell that he and Colonel Sheppard could ever have any kind of a relationship.

 

"So...flying in a straight line," Sheppard said with a grin as they entered the puddle jumper. Rodney made a face.

 

"I'm sure I'll get the hang of it one day," he said.

 

"We'll work on it," Sheppard told him, pushing him towards the flight console and taking up the position next to him.

 

Rodney buckled himself in and ran his hands over the controls. He actually loved flying, and now he looked back he wondered whether that wasn't partly because his flying lessons had given him a chance to spend some one on one time with the Colonel.

 

Rodney took them up, in an entirely crooked line, into the air, and then Sheppard took them through some simple manoeuvres which Rodney performed with his usual enthusiasm and lack of flair. His inability to fly in a straight line was actually embarrassing him, and the whole date-not-date thing was making him even more flustered to the point where he wasn't sure what he was doing.

 

"It's okay, calm down," the Colonel said after yet another spectacular failure, unbuckling from his seat and coming to stand behind Rodney. "Your problem is that you overthink it. In fact that's pretty much your problem with everything," he said with a grin. Rodney opened his mouth to protest at that character slur when Sheppard's hands suddenly descended on his own from behind. "You need to feel it. Get a feel for her. Just be quiet for a moment, Rodney. Don't talk, don't think...just feel," Sheppard said, his lips so close to Rodney's ear that his breath ticked the side of Rodney's face when he spoke. Rodney did as instructed, sitting back in his chair and trying to relax, relishing the feel of Sheppard's long, agile fingers on top of his own, and Sheppard's face against his cheek. "That's it...now...I want you to fly between these two points...but don't look at the screen...just gently ease her...that's right," Sheppard said encouragingly into his ear. Rodney gave himself up to the dual pleasures of flying and having Sheppard so close to him. He guided the ship gently along, barely breathing, and was surprised when they reached their destination and Sheppard brought up the star map to show they'd kept to an almost entirely straight line.

 

"See, I knew you could do it," the Colonel said, finally relinquishing his hold on Rodney's hands and going back to his seat. Rodney sat back with a satisfied smile. Date or not, this whole day was turning out really well!

 

They flew for awhile longer, then Sheppard took the controls again.

 

"Hungry?" he said, with a grin in Rodney's direction. "Oh what am I saying? Stupid question. This is Rodney McKay I'm talking to after all – you're always hungry."

 

"You brought lunch?" Rodney asked, surprised. He hadn't imagined this would be an all day thing.

 

"Of course I brought lunch – what kind of a cheap date do you think I am?" Sheppard asked, and Rodney flushed wildly again and examined his fingernails intently. So maybe this *was* a date? Or was Sheppard just using a figure of speech? Damn it, why was he always so useless at interpreting these complicated social situations? "Hold on," Sheppard said, and next thing Rodney knew they were flying down – fast, too fast, so fast he was sure they would hit the water...and then they DID hit the water.

 

"John! What the hell do you think...?" Rodney began but Sheppard just grinned at him.

 

"It's okay, Rodney. I thought we'd have lunch with a view that's all," he said, as the jumper started powering down under the surface of the ocean.

 

"Last time I did this I nearly died," Rodney reminded him.

 

"And this time it'll be fine," Sheppard said calmly. "We've tested it remember – the jumper works just as well as a submersible as it does in the air – and this area is shallow. I've checked it out. Now just watch..."

 

He had a sly grin on his face as he drove the jumper down, through the sunlit depths. He was right, the ocean bed wasn't very deep here and they soon settled on the bottom...right in front of a magnificent coral reef, teaming with large, brightly-coloured fish in all shapes and sizes, which were magnificently lit by the jumper's lights.

 

"Oh my god," Rodney breathed. "This is like...our own personal aquarium or something."

 

"Isn't it?" Sheppard grinned, unbuckling his belt and going to the back of the jumper. He returned with a basket which he placed on the console between them. "Help yourself," he gestured to Rodney. Rodney reached into the basket and found an array of some of his favourite foods. He glanced at Sheppard suspiciously. Maybe the other Rodney *was* right – maybe he was being courted. It was so hard to tell. And if he was – how did he feel about that? This was all so incredibly weird. Sheppard was giving nothing away – he just smiled back innocently at Rodney and Rodney was reminded again of what his counterpart had said about him not making a move until Rodney was ready. That relaxed him a little. He wasn't ready – not yet, and he had no idea whether he ever would be, but in the meantime he had to admit that it was pretty nice to have someone take some kind of a romantic interest in him. Usually it was always him doing the chasing, and mostly being knocked back – and he kind of liked the idea of being courted, if that was what was going on here.

 

The view was fantastic, and Rodney watched, mesmerised, as they ate. Sheppard made conversation, and Rodney found himself responding in kind, and enjoying himself, and the time went all too quickly. Dating – if that's what this was – had never been so easy as far as Rodney was concerned. Usually his dates were disasters of epic proportions, during which he said or did something so hopelessly inept or socially awkward that he scared off his potential partner forever. This was different though – he wasn't sure why. Maybe because he wasn't sure whether it was a date or not, or maybe because he was with John – Rodney didn't know. He just knew that it was good, and that got him to thinking that maybe being gay wasn't such a big deal after all. Okay, so it was *surprising*, but he thought maybe he could get over the shock if it meant that life was this good and he felt this...he wasn't sure what the word was. Special? Liked? Happy?

 

By the time they returned to the city, later that afternoon, Rodney actually found himself humming. He'd even had a nap in the jumper while John had flown them around after lunch, and he was feeling better than he had in days – rested and content, and less edgy and bad tempered. John walked him back to his quarters and they stood there for a moment. Rodney wondered whether this was where something was supposed to happen and he fidgeted nervously, but John just grinned at him and squeezed his shoulder.

 

"I hope you enjoyed today," he said.

 

"Yes...I did...very much," Rodney babbled. "Thank you for...you know...lunch...and...all those fish...and...whatnot." He flushed and gazed at his feet to avoid the Colonel's amused gaze. Oh god! Date or not, he was crap at it, whatever it was.

 

"It was cool. We must do it again sometime," John told him.

 

"Really?" Rodney glanced up, his stomach doing a nervous flip. So, there was a chance of a second date then? He hadn't just blown it with his amazingly useless attempt at thanking the other man? He never usually got as far as a second date with anyone so he had no idea how to respond.

 

"Sure," John said easily. Rodney stared at him for a moment, and John stared back at him, his eyes fixed on Rodney's bruised lip. Rodney wondered if he was going to kiss him, and he had absolutely no idea how he felt about that happening, but instead John reached out a finger and touched the cut.

 

"You should get Carson to look at that," he murmured.

 

"It's fine," Rodney said softly, leaning into John ever so slightly. They stood there for a moment, and then John let out a sigh, and regretfully drew back.

 

"Okay. Well then. See you, Rodney," he said.

 

"Yes. Fine. And um...thanks again, John," Rodney replied. It was only when he was back in his room that he realised he'd not only started calling the other man 'John' but he'd started thinking of him that way too. Somehow, slowly but surely, and he wasn't even sure when it had happened, John had crept past his defences and wormed his way past all the prickly barriers he put up...and Rodney knew it was dangerous, and he felt incredibly vulnerable, but at the same time he couldn't help himself – he had started to trust John, and he had never trusted anyone in his life before.

 

 

 

The next few days in the lab were a total joy for Rodney McKay. He didn't know why he'd ever had such a problem with his counterpart. At last, finally, he had someone in the lab who worked at the same speed as he did, who understood everything he was trying to do, and who could follow him into even the most complicated areas of scientific discovery - and it was fantastic! They talked non-stop, covering every topic under the sun, each of them filling in tiny gaps in the other's knowledge, sharing ideas and plans and comparing notes on various projects while they worked on the QDD. It was the most intellectual stimulation Rodney had had in a long time, and he no longer noticed or cared about any of the things about Rodney Sheppard that had previously annoyed him so much.

 

Within two days they had the crystals working and ready for a test run the following day, and Rodney Sheppard was running madly around the lab fixing up some cabling, while Radek and Rodney McKay worked on trying to focus the imaging beam so that they could locate the correct universe. Rodney had sent everyone else away because quite simply none of them were bright enough to follow what they were doing and he didn't want anyone getting in the way.

 

"Please don't send us to the wrong place," the other Rodney was saying, donut in one hand, cabling in the other, a manic grin on his face. "You know, no offence, but it's taken us weeks to get used to you guys. I don't want to have to start all over again in another freaky universe."

 

"No, no, no," Rodney replied with an answering grin as he tapped out some algorithms. "We'll make sure it's the right one. Now we have some power going here all we have to do is retrieve the memory core so we'll be able to trace the exact co-ordinates of your universe." He punched in some numbers happily and a second later something flashed in the faded taped off area on the floor in front of them.

 

"What was that?" Radek asked excitably.

 

"Some kind of window...not sure..." Rodney said, trying the code again. "Damnit...it looks like the only way of doing a memory trace is to actually open up windows to various other universes and see if the co-ordinates match. Hmm, that's a lot more laborious than I thought it would be."

 

Rodney Sheppard came and looked over his shoulder, donut still in mouth. "Mmm," he said. "Shunn boky if voiweeno".

 

"In English please, Rodney," Rodney said briskly. The other Rodney removed his donut with an apologetic giggle.

 

"Sorry. I said – should be okay, although we might like to avoid going near the windows when they're open, just to be on the safe side." He pointed to the taped off area. "You're not activating the beam so you won't bring anyone through, just opening up various windows to different universes. When you get to the right one these logarithms should line up," he pointed at the display on Rodney's laptop, "and then...then, my friends, me and my husband will be practically home." He put a hand on Rodney's shoulder and one on Radek's shoulder and beamed at them both enthusiastically.

 

"But there are hundreds of windows in this section of the QDD! It could take days!" Rodney protested.

 

"Ah well. We've been here weeks already. Who cares about a few more days?" the other Rodney shrugged. "Besides, much as we want to go home, we've kind of become fond of you guys so we're not in any rush." He gave them both another wide grin.

 

Rodney grinned back at him, wondering why he'd ever found him so annoying. He was, as John had said, a really nice guy. They worked solidly for the next couple of hours until Rodney was cross-eyed from checking out the various different windows. Each time he opened one up there was a shimmer of light in the taped off area of the floor, and they had the eerie sensation of looking into a void. Sometimes Rodney swore he could see shadows moving in the window, just out of his line of vision, and occasionally they all heard noises – just little things; the sound of laughter, the crash of something smashing on the floor that made them all jump, the strained tones of an argument – they couldn't make out what was being said but they could hear raised, angry voices. It was actually rather sinister, and the whole thing was starting to creep Rodney out. He took a break, handing the controls over to Radek, and went to pour himself some coffee, examining some earlier calculations on his laptop while he sipped.

 

The other Rodney was still laying out the cabling, trying to work on an interface with the housing that would be strong enough to carry the huge amount of power required to send them home. Rodney vaguely overheard his counterpart say something to Radek about testing the cabling by setting up an experimental beam, just for a couple of seconds, and then Rodney saw a flicker of light and the other Rodney said something in an excited voice and got up and ran across the room...and then there was a sudden flash of light from the QDD, accompanied by a loud wailing sound, followed by a startled gasp from Radek's direction. Rodney looked up sharply - and met Radek's shocked eyes staring back at him. There was no sign of Rodney Sheppard though – he seemed to have disappeared completely.

 

"Radek?" Rodney pushed his chair back, his heart pounding in his chest.

 

"He just...there was a power surge and he just..." Radek said, trembling slightly as he pointed at the open window in front of them.

 

"Radek..." Rodney said, in a disbelieving tone. "You're not telling me...? But there was no beam!" he shouted. "Even with a window open, it's not possible to go anywhere without the beam!"

 

"I'm sorry. He told me to set up a test beam...it was only open for a second...I had it contained but there was the power surge and it broke out of the containment field and he just fell right into it and disappeared," Radek whispered.

 

"Can we get him back?" Rodney asked, rushing over.

 

"I...I don't know. I could try activating the beam again and see if it will hold. He said he'd almost finished with the cabling," Radek said desperately.

 

Rodney ran over to the QDD, shoved Radek out of the way, punched in the activation code and turned on the beam. There was a loud noise and a burst of light but nobody materialised.

 

"He isn't in the target area any more!" Rodney yelled at Radek. "Why doesn't he get back in there?"

 

"I do not know," Radek said ominously. "Maybe he has been injured?"

 

Rodney had only a split second to make his decision. "I'm going through," he said grimly.

 

"What?" Radek was aghast. "Rodney, the beam itself might have injured him. If you go through then the same thing might happen to you! Rodney – we do not even know if he's still alive!"

 

"I'm going through," Rodney said again, in a determined voice. "Radek, we mustn't overload the crystals – it took us weeks to get them working. Once I'm through, I want you to turn off the beam and give them time to recharge. Thirty minutes should do it. Then turn on the beam again. I'll try and be in position with Dr Sheppard at that exact same time."

 

"And if that doesn't work?" Radek asked, his eyes wide with worry.

 

"Then get the Colonel and General down here," Rodney said grimly. "Brief them on the situation and let them decide what to do next."

 

"Rodney – I still think it would be better if we shut it down and you waited..." Radek began.

 

"No. I'm not leaving him there," Rodney said, in a determined tone. "I already screwed up his life once...I'm not doing it again. Just make sure you keep the window between these two universes open – whatever you do. If you close it then you might never find this one again and we'll be lost there forever. Activate the beam every thirty minutes but don't keep it on for more than two minutes at a time."

 

And with that he ran towards the taped off area, took a deep breath, and threw himself into the path of the beam.

 

~*~

 

Lieutenant-Colonel John Sheppard was in the practice room, sparring with his counterpart. He'd learned some good moves from the other man and they both enjoyed sparring with someone whose ability so closely matched their own. John flicked his sticks, and grinned, advancing on the General. The other man grinned back, his teeth flashing, and he did a perfect little flick of his sticks in response. John feinted forwards, and the General lunged sideways. John raised his sticks, seeing a slight gap in the other man's defences and he moved in to take advantage of it...when suddenly the General sank to his knees and let out a blood-curdling howl, clutching at his chest.

 

"General?" John threw his sticks down and ran over to him. The other man's face was a picture of agony. His head was flung back and he was gazing sightlessly at the ceiling, veins bulging in his neck, his mouth open in a silent roar. "General?" John gripped the other man's shoulders urgently.

 

"Rodney," the General whispered, in a hoarse, anguished tone. "Oh god...oh no...RODNEY!" He sank back onto the floor, writhing in pain. John tapped his radio urgently.

 

"Medical emergency – Carson I need you in the practice room – NOW!" he called, and then he turned his attention back to the General. "General...what is it? Are you injured?" John ripped open the other man's shirt but there was no sign of any injury. He was still clutching his chest though, and rolling around on the practice mat.

 

Carson arrived a few seconds later, and ran straight over to them. He pushed John out of the way and knelt down beside the General.

 

"What is it? Is it his heart?" John asked anxiously. "He was fine one minute and then he just went down – it was like he'd been shot."

 

"It's not his heart," Carson said, looking up grimly. "That sounds fine – a bit fast but then he's in a lot of pain."

 

"Then what is it?" John demanded, gazing at the helplessly contorted face that looked so much like his own.

 

"To be honest, I have no idea," Carson told him. "We'll get him back to the infirmary and run some tests."

 

"No!" the General said, trying to roll over and stagger to his feet. John knelt down beside him and pushed him back.

 

"You're in no shape to go anywhere," he told his counterpart.

 

"No...don't understand..." the General hissed, his face red, his eyes bulging from pain. He grabbed hold of John's wrist urgently. "It's Rodney...he's been badly hurt...can feel it through the lifebond..."

 

"Wait a minute," Carson said, shaking his head. "You're saying that you're experiencing Rodney's injury – that this is his pain?"

 

"Yes," the General whispered hoarsely. "Help him, John. Oh god." He banged his head back on the floor. "Oh shit...he's dying. Help him!" And then he curled into a ball and gave a low, animalistic moan that sent shivers up John's spine.

 

"Do what you can for him," he told Carson, and then he sprinted out of the door and ran down the hallways to the lab. He burst through the door, to find Radek standing by the QDD, trembling, completely alone.

 

"Radek?" he demanded, coming to a skidding halt by the QDD. "Where are they? Where did they go?"

 

"There was an accident," Radek whispered. "Rodney Sheppard...he fell into the beam from the QDD when we were testing it...he went through the window into another universe..." He nodded towards the taped off area of the room and John saw an eerie gap in the fabric of their reality, full of shadows, and just the hint of sound. "Our Rodney went after him. He told me...he told me to turn off the beam to conserve energy but to keep the window open so we don't lose contact with the universe they are in. I am to bring the beam on again every thirty minutes and he will try and get himself and the other Rodney into position to be brought back."

 

"Rodney Sheppard is badly hurt. He's in urgent need of medical treatment," John told him. "We have to open that beam up again now."

 

"I cannot!" Radek protested. "The crystals will burn out – they need thirty minutes to recharge."

 

"Thirty minutes might be too late!" John yelled.

 

"Rodney gave me very specific instructions. If we burn out the crystals we might not be able to get either of them back," Radek told him in a frightened voice. John stared at him.

 

"Damn it!" he roared at last, thumping his fist down on the lab table. Radek shrank back against the QDD. "Okay...all right – keep that damn window open whatever you do. I'm going to get a team together and if they don't come straight back through when you can activate that beam again then I'm going in to get them," John growled.

 

He raced back to the infirmary, to find Carson hooking his counterpart up to a monitor.

 

"Have you been able to help him?" he asked.

 

Carson shook his head and spread his arms helplessly. "There's nothing wrong with him, Colonel. I've given him some pain meds but they aren't helping at all. All I can think of is to give him a sedative and knock him out completely."

 

"No!" the General rasped, reaching out and clutching at John's arm. "If you do that I won't be able to help Rodney. I'm all that's keeping him alive right now."

 

"How d'you work that out?" Carson said, coming to stand beside the General, a worried frown creasing his forehead.

 

"He's been badly injured. I'm giving him my own strength...if you sedate me I won't be able to help him and he'll die," the General hissed, still clutching his chest. "John...where is he?" he asked, gazing at John in despair. "Why didn't you bring him here for Carson to treat? He's in so much pain right now."

 

"He's not here, General," John told him. "There was an accident with the QDD. Our own Rodney went in after him so he's got someone there with him, looking after him. I'm going to assemble a team and we'll go in and get them."

 

"Go," the General rasped. "Bring them home, John. Bring them both back for us."

 

"I will," John said softly. "I promise."

---

 

Part Eleven: Three Rodneys

 

 

Ten minutes later John returned to the lab, with Ronon, Teyla and Major Lorne in tow, all of them armed to the teeth.

 

"Do we have any idea what's facing us in that universe?" he asked Radek. The scientist shook his head.

 

"No...but...once I activate the beam, you should be able to communicate with Rodney via the radio before going in. You'll have to be quick – I can only keep the beam open for a couple of minutes before the crystals burn out."

 

"A couple of minutes is long enough to find out what's going on," John said grimly. "Is it time yet?"

 

Radek glanced at his watch and then nodded, and his fingers moved fast over the QDD interface. The beam flashed into life and John held his breath, his attention fixed on the window into the other universe in the taped off area of the room but nobody materialised.

 

"There's nobody there," Radek said, his face pale.

 

"Damnit!" John reached up and touched his radio. "Rodney – are you there?" he shouted.

 

"John? Oh, thank god," came back Rodney's low, breathy whisper. "Rodney Sheppard has been shot."

 

"I know. We've activated the beam – get him back into the window and we can..."

 

"I can't do that," Rodney's voice hissed.

 

"Why not?"

 

"Because there are four Genii standing here with their guns on us both right now," Rodney said.

 

"Who is that? Who are you talking to?" a voice said in the background.

 

"Myself! Look – I told you, he's dying. He needs a doctor. Get Carson up here now!"

 

"Nobody is going anywhere until Commander Kolya gets back," the voice replied. "But you were talking to someone. Is this an invasion? You're not Dr McKay – who are you?"

 

"I've told you who I am! Now are you going to help him or not?"

 

"Be quiet..." There was a sickening crunch, a muffled scream, and then the radio went dead.

 

"Rodney!" John listened for another second but there was no reply. "Right, we're going in," he told his team. "There are four armed Genii on the other side of this window but we have the advantage of surprise. Radek – shut the beam down when we're through and start it up again at thirty minute intervals after that," he ordered. "Let's get moving."

 

John ran up to the window, his team behind him, and threw himself straight into the path of the beam. He had a brief moment of disorientation as he found himself standing in the same lab he'd just left – only without Radek and the QDD behind him. To his right he could see Rodney Sheppard, lying on the floor in a pool of blood, with a gaping wound to his chest. His own Rodney was crouching beside him, one arm clutched over his ribs, a trickle of blood running from a gash on the side of his face. John didn't have time to take in any more than that though because he saw the Genii soldiers turning, mouths gaping as he seemed to appear from nowhere. John fired on them before they knew what had hit them, and seconds later the others fell as Ronon, Teyla and Lorne joined in the fight. Only when the Genii had been despatched did John have the chance to look around properly.

 

The lab was virtually identical to the one he'd just left, only it was in a much worse state of repair. It looked untidy and uncared for.

 

"John?" a voice said, tremulously, from the corner of the room, and John spun round to see a thin figure cowering away from the gunfire.

 

"Oh shit," he whispered. The man was another version of Rodney – only this Rodney was a pale, frail-looking creature. His clothes hung off him and he had a haunted look in his blue eyes that sent shivers down John's spine.

 

"He's not your John, idiot," his own Rodney said behind him. "He's mine."

 

John turned back and strode over to where his Rodney was crouched beside Dr Sheppard.

 

"How is he?" he asked.

 

"Bad. We need to get Carson up here," Rodney said.

 

"Are you okay?" John's eyes raked over Rodney's cut face and the awkward way he was holding himself.

 

"I'm fine. From what I can figure out, we're in a universe where the Genii seized the city during that big storm last year. Kolya is in charge here. He was on the mainland when we came through but they've called him back. They shot Rodney Sheppard because he took them by surprise when he suddenly appeared in here. It won't be long before Kolya gets back and then we're really in trouble."

 

"Radek will open up that beam again in thirty minutes," John told him.

 

"Please...you can't just leave. You have to help us," the new Rodney said. John took a deep breath. Having two Rodneys around was freaky, but three was positively insane. He stood up and turned to the other man.

 

"Does Carson Beckett exist in this universe?" he demanded. The new Rodney nodded. "Good – then get him up here," he ordered.

 

"I already radioed for him," new Rodney said. "We'll help your friend but you must help us in return." He glanced at Rodney Sheppard's still form, a puzzled expression on his face. "I'm guessing this is some kind of inter-dimensional thing, and I'm not saying that normally I wouldn't be jumping up and down in excitement about this, but right now all I'm thinking is that this is too good an opportunity to miss. You must help us." He reached out a hand and grabbed John's arm, and John noticed the livid bruises on his wrists – he could make out actual fingerprints imprinted on the scientist's flesh.

 

"We will if we can," John told him grimly, wondering what the hell was going on in this reality. "Fill me in."

 

"The Genii control the city, but they don't have the gene so they can't work anything – we haven't told them it's possible to inject the gene," new Rodney said quickly. "So they've had to keep us here to work things for them – they don't understand the Ancient technology in any case so all the scientists are useful to them. They've got the military locked up."

 

"Do you know where?" John asked.

 

"Oh yes. I know where," new Rodney replied, in a weary tone.

 

"How far – can we mount a rescue mission in twenty-five minutes?" John demanded.

 

"It's not far – and they won't be expecting anything so it's worth a try," new Rodney said hopefully, his blue eyes pleading with John. John didn't have it in him to refuse this thin- faced, bruised, clearly maltreated version of someone he was so much in love with.

 

At that moment Carson ran into the lab...and skidded to a halt when he saw John.

 

"Major? Oh thank god! How did you get free?" he asked. John shook his head.

 

"I'm not Major Sheppard. It's a long story, Carson – but there's a man over there who needs your help," he said, nodding at the two Rodneys. Carson took in the pool of blood and ran straight over to Rodney Sheppard, and then stared from one Rodney to the other...to the other.

 

"No time to explain!" John's Rodney said briskly. "He's bleeding to death here!"

 

Carson immediately set to work, but from the grim set of his lips John guessed the news wasn't good.

 

"Is he going to be okay?" John's Rodney demanded as Carson worked.

 

"I have no idea how he's even alive," Carson muttered. "He shouldn't be...these injuries..." He shook his head.

 

"Do something!" John's Rodney said helplessly.

 

"I'll try, son, but he's in a bad way," Carson told him. "I need to get him to the infirmary."

 

"No," John butted in. "He stays here – we have to go back through a window into another dimension in just under thirty minutes and our Carson will take care of him from there. Just keep him alive for that long, Doc."

 

Carson gave a grim nod and John turned back to the new Rodney.

 

"All right. Take us to where they're holding Major Sheppard," he commanded, beckoning his team to accompany him. His own Rodney got to his feet. "You stay here," John ordered.

 

"No," John's Rodney said, his jaw jutting out obstinately. "I can't help Carson – I'll be more use with you. You're going to need all the help you can get if you're going to go through with this insane plan."

 

"We don't have time to argue about this!" John growled.

 

"Then you'll have to let me come with you, won't you?" his Rodney retorted, grabbing a gun from Teyla and falling into line behind John. John saw it was pointless to argue and gave in and they all set off behind new Rodney.

 

They made it down to the lower reaches of the city without being seen, then new Rodney paused, and beckoned them to hunker down across the hallway from a room. There were two Genii guards stationed outside.

 

"This is it?" John whispered to new Rodney. "You sure?"

 

"Oh yeah. I'm sure," new Rodney said. "John tried to escape a couple of weeks after the Genii first took the city. Kolya found out about it and stopped it - then he brought me down here that night and beat me up some in front of John, so he'd know what would happen if he tried to escape again," he whispered.

 

John winced – that sounded very like the kind of thing Kolya would do. Kolya had once tortured his own Rodney, and John had the sneaking suspicion that the Genii commander had enjoyed it a little too much.

 

"You're sure they're still here?" he asked. "They haven't been moved anywhere else? We don't have time to get this wrong."

 

"No." New Rodney shook his head. "That first time amused Kolya so much that he brings me down here most nights now just for fun. If I'm lucky he just wants to slap me around a little to taunt John. If I'm unlucky...well, let's not get into that." His face was pale and taut as he said that, and John had a sudden inkling of what he meant and felt sick at the thought of it. He glanced at his own Rodney and saw that he'd heard it too, and his blue eyes were wide with shock.

 

"He does that...in front of Major Sheppard?" John's Rodney asked, in a horrified whisper.

 

"I think that's the whole point," new Rodney replied, gazing at his own bruised wrists. "John's locked up – he can't do anything. He just has to watch. Kolya told me that if I wasn't compliant and didn't give every indication of enjoying it then he'd have John beaten – but John doesn't know that. He probably wonders why I don't put up more of a fight."

 

John felt a surge of ice-cold anger deep in his belly as he imagined how his counterpart in this universe must feel about that.

 

"Okay. How many guards are in there?" he asked, feeling the calm of cool resolve settle around him. They were going to *do* this, damnit. There was no way they could leave these people here like this. This could have been *them* if circumstances had panned out just a little differently.

 

"Two on the door, six inside," new Rodney told him. "They have plenty more all over the city though so we have to stop them calling for backup."

 

"Okay. Here's what we do," John said, turning back to his team.

 

A few seconds later, new Rodney walked along the hallway and went straight up to the guards on the door.

 

"I was told you were having problems with your communications in here," he said, gesturing with his head at the door. The guards seemed confused but they let him in...and when they were turning back, John's team made their move. They were fast and outnumbered the two on the door so they were able to dispatch them quickly and quietly. Then they stormed into the room. John just hoped that new Rodney had been able to talk his way into getting close enough to the comms units to disable them, but he didn't have time to check because next thing he knew he was facing a barrage of gunfire. He ducked, feeling a sharp burning pain in his arm, and then turned and returned fire in one quick move. He saw one of the Genii fall, and then Ronon was striding into the centre of the room, gun blazing, and more Genii were going down. There was some frenzied fighting, but John's team were good, and the Genii were soon dispatched. Only then did John get a chance to take a good look around.

 

They were in a large room, with a big pen at one end surrounded by a forcefield. Inside, John could see a huddle of people with faces he recognised. One of them gave a shout and edged as close to the side of the pen as he could, and John found himself looking into his own face once again – only this time the cheekbones were sunken and thin, there was a thick, dark beard on his new counterpart's chin – and he was staring into a pair of hollow, desperate eyes.

 

John tore himself away from his other self and ran over to new Rodney, who was standing by a console, fiddling with some wires.

 

"Are we safe?" John hissed at him.

 

"Yes. I disabled the system before they got a call out," new Rodney told him, with a grin. "Now...I just need to...done it." The forcefield surrounding the pen winked off and John raised his gun and shot the door off its hinges. He was about to step forwards when he was nearly knocked off his feet as new Rodney raced past him...and threw himself straight at the new John as he emerged from the pen.

 

John stopped short. He supposed he shouldn't have been surprised, but somehow he was. New John grabbed new Rodney in a tight embrace, then drew back, took hold of his face, and kissed him on the mouth.

 

John turned to glance at his own Rodney, who gave a deep sigh.

 

"Are we together in *every* damn universe?" Rodney muttered, rolling his eyes at the other John and Rodney.

 

"It's starting to look that way," John replied with a slight grin.

 

"Are you okay?" Rodney touched his arm and John glanced down, surprised to find that his shirt was stained red, and wet with blood.

 

"I'm fine," John said tersely, but there was an expression on his Rodney's face that he didn't think he'd ever seen before, and he was brought up short by it.

 

"You're not fine, damnit, you're injured. Hold on." Rodney reached into John's vest pocket and fished out a field dressing, then took hold of John's arm and tied the fabric hard around the wound to stem the tide of blood. John gazed at him as he worked; Rodney wouldn't look at him, but there was something about the scientist's expression and obvious concern for him that made John's heart do a little leap of hope. Rodney finished tying the makeshift bandage and glanced up, met John's questioning gaze and flushed - then hopped away from him as if he'd been caught doing something illegal.

 

"I'm sorry," John heard new Rodney whisper to new John. "All those times...he said he'd hurt you if I didn't..."

 

"I know. I guessed that much." New John's hands caressed the sides of his Rodney's face. "Where is he? I'm going to kill *him* with my bare hands."

 

"He's on his way back from the mainland," John told them, throwing his new counterpart a gun. "Get your people armed as best you can." He pointed at the weapons belonging to the fallen Genii. "We don't have much time."

 

They ran back to the lab, and John was relieved to find that Rodney Sheppard was at least still alive. He had no idea how he would begin to tell the General that his husband was dead. It just couldn’t happen.

 

"How's he doing?" Rodney asked, running over to Carson.

 

"He's holding on by a thread...to be honest I have no idea how he's still alive but he is," Carson said. "I've given him some medication and basic triage – I've made a note of exactly what I've given him and how I've treated him so your Carson will know when you get him back." He handed the note to Rodney.

 

"How much time do we have?" John demanded, hearing a disturbance out in the hallway which could only mean one thing – Kolya was here.

 

"Four minutes," Rodney told him, glancing at his watch.

 

"Then get the other Rodney into the target area ready for the beam. I'm going to help these guys fight it out until the last possible second," John told him. Rodney nodded, and between them he and Carson dragged Rodney Sheppard into the window between the two universes. Then Carson stood up and hesitated for a moment. John saw a grim look settle on the doctor's face, and then he grabbed a Genii gun from one of the fallen guards and joined the rest of them, ready to fight to free their city.

 

A second later Kolya burst through the door. He had a contingent of armed Genii with him but the Atlanteans had the element of surprise on their side. Kolya gave an angry growl when he saw the released prisoners, but his eyes widened, startled, when he took in the fact that there were two Johns fighting him. Not that John got much of a look in – his counterpart had been spoiling for this fight for too long, and had endured too much at Kolya's hands, and his anger was white hot – John could almost feel it boiling out of him. He was in poor physical condition – he was reed thin and had clearly been badly treated in captivity - but his rage was sustaining him as he threw himself on Kolya.

 

Ronon was an asset of and by himself, taking out several of the Genii in one go with his blaster, and John's heart did a flip as he caught sight of Aiden Ford, fighting side by side with Major Sheppard - at least one good thing had come out of the events in this universe. The fight was scrappy and uneven, but the Atlanteans had the fire of revenge burning in their bellies and eventually the Genii started to drop back. John turned to see Major Sheppard standing over Kolya, his hands around the other man's throat, literally squeezing the life out of him. Then it was done, and he dropped Kolya's corpse to the ground and stood up, a wild, blood-hungry look in his eyes, seeking out someone else to fight.

 

"We have to go," John told him, grabbing the Major by the arm and leading him away from the fray. "Good luck – not that I think you'll need it – you've pretty much got them beat."

 

"I have no idea where you came from or who you are...except...well except for the obvious fact that you appear to be me," Major Sheppard told him. "But thank you."

 

"You're welcome," John told him. "Tell me – before we go... are you and he married?" he nodded his head in new Rodney's direction. The scientist was busy collecting Genii weapons from the fallen enemy and handing them out to any Atlantean that had run out of ammunition.

 

"Not yet," new John grinned. "But once we kick these Genii out of the city I plan on taking care of that."

 

"And...you two being in a relationship – that's not a problem here?" John asked.

 

"No," the other John said blankly. "What kind of problem?"

 

"Nothing," John sighed. He noticed a distinct lack of any kind of leashes, collars, or tattoos so he guessed this wasn't *that* kind of universe, but there had been something he'd recognised all too well in that fierce embrace this John had given his Rodney back when they'd released him from that pen.

 

"John!" his own Rodney said frantically, beckoning him over. John nodded, and saw a white beam opening up in the window. He called his team together and they ran back towards the window between the universes. New Rodney ran up, grabbed his hand, and shook it enthusiastically.

 

"Thank you!" he beamed ecstatically. "I mean, I have absolutely no idea where you came from, or what the hell you were doing here, but thank you!" John grinned back at him.

 

"My pleasure, Rodney," he said, and then he gave the scientist a little salute and ran backwards into the beam.

 

 

 

Carson was waiting with a full medical team on the other side and he whisked Rodney Sheppard away for immediate surgery. John trailed back to the infirmary after them, Rodney by his side.

 

"What's the General doing here?" Rodney asked when they got there. The General was lying on his side, eyes closed, arms wrapped around his own body. "I wondered why he wasn't with you but what's wrong with him?"

 

"He's what's been keeping Rodney Sheppard alive," John told him grimly. "I'm not sure how it works but it's something to do with that lifebond thing they keep talking about."

 

"Are you talking about the Kaeira?" Rodney wrinkled up his forehead. "If that's the case shouldn't he have a big wound on his chest right now – if they're doing that weird sharing thing?"

 

"He didn't mention Kaeira – just said it was the lifebond. I don't think he's healing Rodney exactly...it seemed to be more that he was giving him some of his energy or something. Kind of like when the Wraith suck life from people – only the exact opposite I suppose – he was giving it back?" John floundered, realising he knew nothing at all about this lifebond but curious about it all the same, and how, if at all, it related to the Kaeira.

 

One of the other doctors on Carson's team came up to them and sat John down on one of the beds. He removed the makeshift bandage Rodney had tied around John's arm and began examining the wound.

 

"How is he?" Rodney asked, peering at the wound over the doctor's shoulder. "Is it bad? It looks kind of messy. It'll need stitches."

 

"He's the doctor, Rodney – let him work," John told him. Rodney moved away reluctantly.

 

"I suppose I should, you know, get back and make sure Radek hasn't ruined weeks of work on those damn crystals," he said.

 

"Not so fast, Rodney," John told him, placing a hand on his arm as he made to leave. "Doc – when you've finished with me, Rodney here has a couple of either badly bruised or possibly broken ribs."

 

"I do?" Rodney looked startled.

 

"Yes you do," John told him. "You've been holding yourself strangely ever since that Genii guard thumped you for talking to me on the radio. You also need to get that cut on your face cleaned up."

 

"Man – how could I have forgotten about that?" Rodney asked, in a tone of utter wonderment at his own lack of hypochondria. John snorted. Rodney sat down beside him on the bed with a sigh. "Do you think Dr Sheppard is going to make it?" he asked John quietly. John turned his head, surprised by the anxiety in Rodney's voice, and found that those blue eyes were nearer than he'd been expecting, and that Rodney was pressed a little closer than John had realised. He knew just how much Rodney hated it when people were injured or killed – he'd seen the scientist deal with that enough times to know how much it devastated him whenever it happened – but Rodney's eyes were now oddly vulnerable, in a naked way that John wasn't sure he'd ever seen before. He suddenly realised that he was only seeing that now because Rodney had started letting his guard down around him, and John felt an overwhelming urge to put his arm around the scientist and kiss him. He resisted it – he was sure that Rodney was learning to trust him, was maybe even starting to have some feelings towards him, but he'd played a slow game so far and didn't want to scare the other man away irrevocably by moving too fast.

 

"I don't know," John replied softly. "But he's got the best MD in two galaxies operating on him, and he's got him on his side." He nodded at the still form of the General in the next bed over. "So I'd say he has a better chance than most."

 

When the doctor had finished with John he moved onto Rodney. He wanted to examine Rodney's ribs and asked him to remove his shirt and Rodney flushed.

 

"Don't you think an infirmary should have more privacy?" he asked, gazing around the bare and somewhat makeshift room. John rolled his eyes, amused.

 

"There's only us here, Rodney," he pointed out. Rodney thought about it for a moment, and then removed his shirt and stood there, arms semi-crossed over his chest, looking profoundly awkward. John knew he shouldn't, but the truth was he liked getting a glimpse of any Rodney flesh that was on view and he made the most of the opportunity to gaze at the other man's bare chest. He wondered why the hell Rodney was always so paranoid about people catching a glimpse of him in any state of undress; he had a nice chest, with some good definition, and the flesh was stretched tautly over his broad shoulders in a way that John found very appealing. John wished he could get Rodney to be as happy and confident in his own skin as his counterpart was. Rodney was even looking in pretty good shape – presumably the exercise routines they'd been doing had tightened him up a little. John was right though – there was a massive, dark, ugly bruise on his ribs, which the doctor examined carefully, before coming to the conclusion that they weren't broken.

 

Elizabeth arrived a few seconds later and John took her to one side so he could give her a proper briefing.

 

"The Genii?" She shook her head after he'd finished. "That all happened well over a year ago – those poor people, to have been held in captivity for that long."

 

"They were in a pretty bad way," John agreed, nodding, remembering how thin his own counterpart had been and the bruises on the other Rodney's wrists. It didn't take a great deal of imagination to figure out how he'd come by them, or who'd put them there.

 

 

 

"John, I wish Rodney had never found that damn QDD," she hissed, shaking her head. "It's been nothing but trouble."

 

"On the other hand, if he hadn't...we wouldn't have gone through and rescued our other selves from the Genii," John told her with a shrug. "So maybe it wasn't such a bad thing. And having the General and Doctor Sheppard around in our universe has certainly been a learning experience if nothing else!" He grinned at her and she grinned back.

 

"That's a diplomatic way of putting it," she replied. "But seeing as we're on that subject...this other John and Rodney you found – you say that they were, uh, involved too?" She put her hand up to touch her neck, clearly embarrassed by the topic.

 

"Yeah," John sighed. "It's starting to become a theme. Wherever we go we just end up bumping into versions of ourselves kissing each other's brains out."

 

"And how do you feel about that?" Elizabeth asked him. He gazed at her for a moment. "Ever think the universe is trying to tell you something?" she asked, a little grin tugging at the corners of her mouth.

 

"You could say that," he agreed, grinning back. He found his gaze flickering over her shoulder towards Rodney, who was complaining vociferously about how much it hurt having the wound on his face cleaned.

 

"John?" The questioning tone in her voice brought him back to her and he found her gaze fixed searchingly on him. "Seriously?" she said.

 

"Yeah. Seriously," he replied, tensing his shoulders as he gauged her reaction but she just nodded thoughtfully, not looking remotely shocked or outraged. "The only thing that's ever held me back was how damn hard it is for something like that to work in this universe. These other people we've encountered don't seem to have the same issues we do."

 

"I suppose I should be surprised, but I'm not – maybe as a result of having had the General and his husband around for the past few weeks. Where's Rodney on all this?" she asked him softly.

 

"He's not quite there yet," John told her. "But I'm working on it."

 

She gave a little laugh. "Well, good luck with that. But, John...I want you to know one thing – for as long as I'm the leader of this expedition I will fight tooth and nail to keep you as my military chief. You have my full support and you always will – the small matter of who you fall in love with isn't going to change that."

 

He gave her a broad, relieved smile, and then his gaze flickered over to Rodney again, who was now jerking his head away from the doctor and complaining loudly about his lack of bedside manner. "But you weren't going to let it hold you back in any case, were you?" Elizabeth said softly.

 

"What?" He turned back to her. "No, not really," he said, shaking his head. "Having the General around made it easier – he said you had to be who you are and go after what you want. Well, I've figured both those things out and I'm following that advice to the letter. If that means I screw up my career then I'll handle it – at least I'll be living life on my own terms and not anyone else's."

 

"Well I'm impressed." Elizabeth rocked back on her heels and surveyed him intently. "John, you've changed. I've never known you talk like this before – or look so serious about something before."

 

"Well, I never realised how much I wanted this before," he told her with a wry smile.

 

"Then go for it," she told him calmly, patting him on the arm. "I mean it, John. Life's too short. If you've found someone you think you can love for the rest of your life then you have to go for it, even if it is...you know...Rodney." They both gazed at the scientist, who was now flapping his hands at the doctor and threatening to sue him for medical malpractice.

 

"Yeah," John sighed ruefully. "That over there is the love of my life," and they both burst out laughing. She patted his arm again and then left. John continued to gaze at Rodney, shaking his head. "Just have to wait for him to figure that out too," he sighed to himself.

 

~*~

 

Rodney McKay spent a sleepless night fretting about a myriad of different things. First and foremost he was worried about Rodney Sheppard. Carson had finished operating on his counterpart sometime in the early hours of the morning but when he'd emerged he'd just spread his arms helplessly, said he'd done his best and that they'd have to wait and see. Then there was the other universe they'd just visited. Every time he closed his eyes Rodney saw that other Rodney, with those bruises on his wrists, telling them about how Kolya raped him in front of his Sheppard – and then there was the obvious love between that Rodney and his Major Sheppard. Rodney had never been someone who believed in destiny, but he was now coming to the distinct conclusion that destiny was ganging up on him, forcing him to open his eyes to a truth about himself that he'd been denying for a very long time. Which brought him onto John... Rodney wasn't sure what it was he'd felt when he'd realised John had been injured, but he recalled a sensation of actual physical pain inside his chest. It had only been momentary, but his reaction had taken him totally by surprise. It was one thing to fantasise about having sex with the Colonel, but now he knew that something much deeper was involved and that scared him.

 

It was all very well admitting the depth of his emotions to himself though, in the privacy of his own room, but another to allow them to be publicly on display. Rodney was an extremely private person – he couldn't imagine being as open and comfortable with his feelings for the Colonel as either of the two counterparts he'd met, and he envied them their easy kisses and open displays of affection. Rodney shrivelled up inside at the thought of anyone on Atlantis knowing he was head over heels in love with Colonel Sheppard. He was sure they'd laugh at him, take him less seriously, maybe even be disgusted by such a relationship - and he didn't think he could bear that. It was hard enough coming to terms with the idea that he might be gay, without also outing himself as well.

 

Rodney finally gave up trying to sleep and got up and went to the infirmary. He found a bleary-eyed Carson sitting in his office, gazing at a computer screen.

 

"So – how is he?" Rodney asked, leaning against the doorway.

 

"Well, he's still with us. He's sleeping now. The next few hours will be critical," Carson said.

 

"Can I see him?" Rodney asked quietly. Despite their differences, he had developed a strong bond with the other Rodney, and it had devastated him to find his counterpart with that big hole in his chest, blood pouring from the wound.

 

"I don't see why not. I was just going to look in on him myself," Carson said, stretching. "He shouldn't really be alive...those injuries should have killed him but..." He shook his head. "Whatever it is the General was doing for him saved his life – kept him going until I was able to repair the damage. That other Carson did all the right things too so that helped. You know, it was weird reading that note you gave me; it was my own handwriting, and he'd done the exact same things I would have done in the circumstances...it's just so bloody spooky. But I don't need to tell *you* that, Rodney." Carson patted Rodney's arm absently as they walked towards the post-op. "You've been living with these guys for weeks now – you must be used to how spooky it is."

 

"Yeah. Kind of." Rodney gave a wry smile, thinking that Carson didn't know the half of it.

 

Carson opened the door to the post op and then gave a startled gasp. Rodney looked over his shoulder and snorted. Rodney Sheppard was lying there, pale-faced, attached to a dozen different monitors, and beside him, huddled awkwardly on the small bed, was the General, his arms clasped gently around the other Rodney's still, frail form.

 

"Do you normally allow spouses to climb into bed with each other after major surgery, Dr Beckett?" Rodney enquired.

 

"No...I had no idea...he wasn't here when I last looked in. General?" Carson walked over to the bed to wake the General and then paused, and glanced at the monitors, frowning. The General raised his head and Rodney thought he looked as pale and wan as his husband.

 

"Sorry, Doc," the General muttered. "Is there a problem with me being here?"

 

"No," Carson said suddenly. Then he turned, walked purposefully to the door, and called one of his staff. "Get me another bed in here," he ordered, before turning back. "We can make you more comfortable than this, General," he said, as the new bed was wheeled in and placed alongside the one containing Rodney Sheppard. "Here." He helped the General onto the new bed, where he was able to stretch out his long limbs more comfortably.

 

"Thanks, Doc," the General murmured, reaching out so that he was still able to hold his Rodney again, very gently, in his arms. "I just had this...need to be able to touch him."

 

"You must continue to do that," Carson said, taking a reading from the monitors, his fingers scrambling excitedly over the keyboard. "He's...this is remarkable...what time did you come in here?"

 

"I don't know – about 15 minutes ago," the General shrugged.

 

"That’s when his readings started to improve – I don't know why, or how whatever it is between the two of you works, but he's making the most amazing recovery. I've never seen anything like this before."

 

"It's the lifebond," the General said. "It was hurting when I wasn't physically in contact with him. It's much easier when I can actually feel him under my fingertips." He brushed his fingers gently over the skin on his Rodney's arm and it was such a tender gesture that Rodney found himself swallowing down a lump in his throat, and at that moment a warm hand came to rest upon his shoulder and he looked around to find John standing behind them.

 

"I just came to check up on Dr Sheppard," John said softly. He didn't move his hand from Rodney's shoulder and Rodney couldn't stop himself from leaning back into the other man ever so slightly. He felt stupid doing it, and hoped nobody would notice; he found himself wishing that John would wrap his arm around his chest and pull him back against him, even though he knew that if he did he'd probably push him away.

 

"So – does this mean we're going to be okay?" the General asked Carson.

 

"We?" Carson frowned, still checking the monitors.

 

"Well, if he dies then I do too," the General told him. "You did figure that out, right?"

 

"No – I had no idea," Carson replied. "Is this because of the lifebond thing you keep talking about?"

 

"Yeah. That's what it means to lifebond," the General said, in a tired tone. "We got lifebonded about six months after we married. It was Rodney who first suggested it – I got myself badly injured one day, and he said he'd hated standing by, watching me suffer. He pointed out that if we were lifebonded he could have helped me. You've pretty much seen how it works – my life energy was able to keep him alive despite the severity of his injuries."

 

"But if one of you dies – the other one dies too, even if he's not injured," John said softly.

 

"Yeah," the General gave a wry smile. "But we figured we didn't either of us have much of a future if the other one was dead so that was a price we were prepared to pay."

 

"I can't imagine loving someone so much that you'd want to give up your own life if they died," Rodney murmured, because until recently he couldn't imagine trusting anyone enough to allow himself to love them at all.

 

"I can," John said behind him, and that hand tightened around his shoulder. Rodney was surprised by the heartfelt tone in John's voice and he wanted turn and look at him but he didn't dare. Was John talking about him? His heart missed a beat – was that what was going on here - or was John just talking in the abstract?

 

"What happens if you got divorced?" Carson asked, leaning over to examine Rodney Sheppard. The General pulled a face.

 

"Ah, well, the lifebond is exactly that – for life. So you have to think really carefully before making that kind of commitment. Rodney and I talked about it for weeks, but we were both really sure it was what we wanted. We could still get divorced – but we'll remain lifebonded until the day we die. And we will both die on the same day."

 

"And how does the Kaeira fit into that?" Rodney asked, intrigued. "Is it the same thing?"

 

"No." The General shook his head, and pressed a little kiss onto his Rodney's unconscious form. "The lifebond is always there – it just is. Kaeira is a healing energy that can pass back and forth along the lifebond – without the lifebond we wouldn't be able to use Kaeira. I don't have enough strength to use it now while the lifebond is draining so much out of me but maybe when he's well enough it'll help him get better more quickly."

 

"Can anyone perform this lifebond ritual?" Carson asked. "I'm trying to get my head around how it works from a medical point of view – it's not like anything I've ever encountered before."

 

"If you genuinely love someone and intend to spend the rest of your life with them then yes," the General replied with a shrug. "There are people in my universe who can help you perform the ritual – help you through it. The Teyla in our universe is an expert on it – she gave us a lot of advice, but we planned and performed it ourselves. One of the best nights of my life," the General added. They he gave a weary sigh, clearly worn out by so much talking, and laid his head very gently on his Rodney's belly and closed his eyes.

 

"They need rest. I think we should leave," Carson said, ushering them out of the room and closing the door. "Not so fast you two – before you run off, I heard you sustained some injuries yesterday that one of my team took care of. If you don't mind, I'd like to just check you over myself – make sure you're both okay and the job was done to my satisfaction." He gave them a broad grin and gestured to them to his office. Once inside, he poured them each a cup of coffee before sitting down to check Rodney's cut face. "I gather you gave poor Dr Kowalski a hard time yesterday, Rodney," he said, his fingers gently spidering over the wound.

 

"The man is a fumble-fingered numbskull," Rodney replied. "And, by the way, what you're doing right now? Ow."

 

"Oh you know Rodney," John grinned. "He doesn't like being treated by any doctor except you, Carson. You should take it as a back-handed compliment whenever he harasses any of your team."

 

"Aye – I'll bear that in mind," Carson grinned. "Well, that looks fine." He took a look at Rodney's ribs and checked John over, and then they sat back and sipped on their coffee. "So, I hear you encountered yet another version of yourselves yesterday," Carson said, with a raised eyebrow.

 

"Yeah. It's starting to become a habit," John replied, grinning.

 

"And according to what I've heard they were just as close as those two." Carson nodded his head in the direction of the post-op.

 

"Yes, all right, Carson. There are endless universes containing endless different versions of ourselves who are all endlessly kissing. It's very amusing. Ha ha. Enough with the teasing," Rodney said stiffly.

 

"Och, I wasn't teasing you, Rodney," Carson replied, shaking his head. "I think you make a lovely couple – in any universe," he said.

 

"What?" Rodney stared at him.

 

"Aye, son," Carson said softly. "I've loved having the General and Dr Sheppard around and they've had a big effect on the city as a whole. We do have a few same sex couples in Atlantis, you know, and having those two around has made them feel much more relaxed and open about their relationships. Kate says that it's really helped morale generally as well – those two guys are very popular and people have enjoyed talking to them. They're very social too – always holding little dinner parties and generally encouraging people to mix and be friendly. I didn't realise how reserved we are until they came along – they've really shaken us up and it's been a good thing all round. I'll be sorry to see them leave."

 

"Me too," John said, with a sigh. Rodney gazed at them both, frowning.

 

"Really, Carson?" he said, confused. "I mean, the idea of the Colonel and me in...a relationship – are you seriously telling me that doesn't freak you out?"

 

"Well, it did at first," Carson agreed with a nod, "But since then it's come to feel like the most natural thing in the world. In fact it makes a lot of sense. Those two work so well together – they just really seem to fit. Their personalities complement each other and they're clearly madly in love. You two should think about giving it a try." He gave a little grin and Rodney wasn't sure if he was teasing or not. John smiled.

 

"Don't spook him, Doc. Well, I've gotta be going. See you later, Rodney. Carson."

 

Rodney gazed after him as he left, wondering whether he was the only person left on Atlantis who was bothered by the idea of him and the Colonel being in a relationship. Carson didn't just seem comfortable with it – he was practically matchmaking them.

 

"Rodney?" Carson said softly. "I think maybe you think people would be more shocked by it than they would be."

 

Rodney swallowed hard, and then got up. "Well, thank you, Carson," he said, in a strangled tone. "I must...go and do some work."

 

He stumbled out of the infirmary, trying to think this through. So, Carson seemed to think they'd make a good couple, apparently half the city seemed to be outing themselves, John seemed to be – possibly – courting him...was it possible that the only person who was actually standing in the way of this was himself?

 

 

When Rodney returned the following day, the other Rodney was conscious. He looked pale and tired, but he managed to wave feebly when Rodney entered the room. The General was still lying beside him, one hand resting protectively on his arm.

 

"Here. Seeing as you like them so much." Rodney dumped a bag of Athosian grapes on the nightstand.

 

"Thanks," the other Rodney croaked.

 

"You look terrible," Rodney told him.

 

"Yeah. Nearly died remember."

 

There was a long silence. Rodney gazed at the other man, surprised by the genuine concern he felt for him. The other Rodney gave him a feeble grin and the General just lay there, watching them, a faintly amused expression on his face.

 

"Yes. Well. I just came to see if you were okay," Rodney said at last. "The lab feels weird without you. Obviously I'm getting much more work done and nobody is arguing with me."

 

The other Rodney gave a wry gurgle and then grimaced and the General sat up a little, looking concerned.

 

"Um. I can see I should go. Just...you know...thought you'd like the grapes," Rodney said, turning.

 

"Thank you," the other Rodney said faintly. "And uh...I heard that you came through the window after me and kept me alive for half an hour before the cavalry showed up. Thanks for that too, Rodney."

 

Rodney half turned back, and gave a pleased little smile.

 

"Well, you know...like I said, I was getting used to having you around," he muttered, and then he walked off, humming to himself.

 

~*~

 

Rodney Sheppard's remarkably swift recovery took everyone by surprise except his husband. General Sheppard spent every hour of every day in the infirmary with his husband during that time, rarely out of reach of his Rodney. Each day he could feel them both growing stronger, as Rodney drew on less and less of his own energy via the lifebond...but as the week drew on, Rodney's recovery started to slow down, and John realised that there was something else he needed to do to complete the healing process.

 

"I think he's well enough for me to take him back to our rooms now," he told Carson.

 

"Aye...he's certainly made excellent progress but I'm not sure I'm ready to release him just yet," the doctor told him, his forehead creasing up into a worried frown. "This past day or two he's made less progress and..."

 

"Trust me...I really need to get him alone," John interrupted. Realisation flooded into Carson's eyes.

 

"Now look, he may have made a remarkable recovery so far but he's in no way ready for..."

 

"You don't understand," John told him, shaking his head. "We'll be very careful, but I can heal him much better, much faster this way. Trust me – I have...an instinct about this."

 

Carson stared at him helplessly. "Well...I don't deny that those instincts of yours have been right so far but...all right – just take care, won't you?"

 

"I will, Doc. Thanks. For everything." John gripped Carson by the arm and squeezed. Carson nodded, a little smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

 

John went over to where Rodney was lying on the infirmary bed. He was still pale and as weak as a kitten, but he was busy devouring Athosian grapes and moaning about being cooped up for so long so he was definitely on the road to recovery.

 

"Hey, we're going home," John told him. Rodney's face lit up.

 

"Really? Home home? Are the crystals ready? Oh, I see – you mean back to our rooms. Well that's not bad I suppose. Better than nothing because frankly I am sick to death of the inside of *this* room. No offence, Carson, but you're really not set up for long term patients around here are you?"

 

Rodney lay back against the pillow, exhausted by the long speech. John rolled his eyes at him.

 

"You talk too much," he said.

 

"I know," Rodney grinned. "I thought that was one of the reasons you fell in love with me."

 

"Really? You thought that?" John wrinkled up his forehead in disbelief and Rodney gave a snort of laughter and then grimaced.

 

"Oh shit – don't make me laugh," he groaned, clutching at his chest.

 

"As for going home home," John smiled, "Rodney McKay reports that he's found the window back into our universe – and we know the beam works. So – we can return as soon as you're well enough to make the journey."

 

"Not before though," Carson said, hovering nearby. "I know you've been through it a few times already but there's no telling what kind of strain that energy beam places on the body – I'm not having you beaming through some inter-dimensional, space-time vortex until you're completely better so don't even think about it, son."

 

"Ah – there see," Rodney said. "He's starting to sound *just* like our Carson. Bossy as all hell."

 

Carson actually looked quite pleased about that and John laughed out loud.

 

"He's got a point, Doc," he said. "The longer we hang around, the more like our Carson you're sounding. Come on you – time to go," John said, turning his attention back to his husband and fastening Rodney's leash to his collar. He helped his husband off the bed, and into a bathrobe and slippers, and then Rodney slid a hand around his waist and John escorted him towards the door. Rodney had been walking around for the past couple of days – he was still slow, but John knew he'd be able to make the trip back to their rooms without any problem.

 

"Any problems at all – call me," Carson said, watching them anxiously.

 

"Sure, Doc – and thanks again," John said. He let go of Rodney's leash for a second and took hold of the other man's hand and shook it. "I mean it," he said, in a low, sincere tone.

 

"Yes – thank you, Carson," Rodney said. "Not that I'm not pleased to finally be out of this place but you've been great."

 

John took hold of his husband's leash again and wrapped it tightly in his fist, his lips brushing Rodney's forehead as he did so. They walked slowly back to their rooms and then John unfastened the leash, and sat Rodney down on the side of the bed.

 

"I'm going to undress you," he said. "Being in the infirmary was fine but we couldn't be close enough. We need as much skin on skin contact as possible." Rodney gazed at him, with that expression of total trust in his eyes that turned John on so much, and John leaned forward and brushed the wavy hair out of his husband's eyes.

 

"Hair's got long," John murmured. "I kind of like it. Makes you look like a teenager."

 

"Ah, those days are long gone I fear," Rodney grinned.

 

"Bet you were cute though," John replied, undoing Rodney's bathrobe and easing it off his husband's shoulders.

 

"I was, yes," Rodney agreed. John laughed and rolled his eyes. "I had this floppy, blond-haired thing going on. Looked like an idiot – a preppy idiot. I used to wear a suit and tie half the time. I SO missed out on that whole teen rebellion thing."

 

"You didn't miss out exactly – you just did it in your thirties instead," John told him, slowly helping him out of his pyjamas.

 

"Yeah – and you had to take the brunt of it. Poor John," Rodney sighed, running a hand down the side of his husband's face. John caught the hand and kissed it firmly.

 

"Come on – lie down," he said. He helped Rodney into the bed and then took off his own clothes and laid down beside his husband, face to face. He could feel Rodney's exhaustion, and he sent as much energy as he could his way via the lifebond, and the pair of them lay there for awhile, the lifebond zinging between them. John slid his hands over Rodney's naked body, relishing the feel of it – it felt like weeks since he'd been lying here like this, with a naked Rodney beside him, and he'd missed it so much. He kissed Rodney's eyelids gently.

 

"Go to sleep," he ordered.

 

Rodney relaxed into his arms and did just that, and John pressed his own body as close to him as he could. This felt so good – Rodney's body was so incredibly familiar to him – the weight of it, the scent of his skin, and the feel of that firm flesh against him. John held him close, lost in the sheer joy of having Rodney back again, in his arms, where he belonged, and then finally he fell asleep too.

 

They slept like that for twelve hours solid, wrapped up in each other's arms, and when Rodney woke he had some colour in his cheeks for the first time since he'd been shot.

 

"Feeling better?" John asked as Rodney's eyes fixed blearily upon him.

 

"What? Hmmm. Much better," Rodney sighed, stretching beside him like a cat.

 

"Good...because there's something else I need to do. I just needed you to be strong enough," John said, reaching out a finger to trace a line down Rodney's face.

 

"I'm fine. What did you have in mind?"

 

"Roll onto your back," John told him. Rodney did as he was told, and John got up and rolled the sheets back and then leaned over and retrieved the lube from the nightstand. Rodney raised a questioning eyebrow at him. "It's okay – trust me," John told him

 

 

 

"Always," Rodney replied simply.

 

"Good. Now let me know if you're having any problems or if anything hurts." John straddled Rodney's body and then reached down and swept his fingers gently over Rodney's chest and Rodney sighed and relaxed into the mattress. Then John carefully removed the dressing over the wound on Rodney's chest. Rodney glanced down at it and grimaced.

 

"It's kind of ugly," he muttered.

 

"Ssh." John lowered his head and pressed dozens of slow, tender kisses to Rodney's flesh and Rodney sighed again, offering himself up to his husband, as beautifully submissive as ever. John felt himself harden but he ignored it and travelled lower, his hands and mouth questing endlessly over Rodney's naked flesh. He shifted back and slid his fingers along Rodney's cock, and slowly, very slowly, felt it harden. Usually Rodney could go from soft to rock hard within seconds when John was touching him, but John didn't expect that of him right now, after he'd been so ill. He played with Rodney for a long time, just gently arousing him, trying not to create a sense of sexual urgency. "You've gotta keep relaxed for me, Rodney," John whispered as Rodney started to move underneath him. "No thrusting, no pushing, no tensing...just let me play." Rodney took a deep breath and visibly tried to relax and obey his husband. John grinned – Rodney was always so determined to achieve submission that he would try his best, whatever John suggested, and however hard it was. John didn't think this was too hard though – all he was doing was gently stroking Rodney's body with his fingers, and anointing him with tender little kisses. John could feel the lifebond opening up even more, and more and more energy flowing back and forth between them. John rose up a little, reluctantly removed his hands from Rodney's body, and squeezed lube onto his fingers. Then he slid one of his fingers inside his own anus, pushing up to stretch himself.

 

"What are you...?" Rodney asked, his eyes widening.

 

"Ssh," John said again. "Submit, Rodney. Just lie there and submit." Rodney nodded but those blue eyes remained wide as John continued to stretch himself. Finally he was ready, and he removed his fingers from his own body and stroked Rodney's cock until it was hard again. "Now tell me if you experience any problems at all," he warned Rodney, before positioning himself over his husband's hard cock, and sliding himself over the tip. Rodney gave a little gasp as John impaled himself on him, oh so slowly, and John smiled down on him. He had allowed Rodney to penetrate him before but not often, and it wasn't their preferred kind of lovemaking. However, on this occasion John knew it was the only position that Rodney could cope with – and that would work with what he had in mind. He slid down on Rodney's cock until it was embedded deep inside him, and then John paused and allowed himself to adjust to it. Rodney's cock was warm and it filled him completely, stretching out his body, and he savoured the sensation for a moment. Then he looked down on Rodney and their eyes met. "Don't fight me," John warned him, and Rodney's eyes widened as he realised at last what John intended to do.

 

"No...no...there's no need..." Rodney said.

 

"Ssh. I want to," John said, leaning forwards and placing his hands on Rodney's wound.

 

"No," Rodney whimpered.

 

"You're mine, Rodney," John reminded him. "Submit to me." Rodney shuddered beneath him, but John refused to release him. He opened up his mind and allowed the Kaeira to hum between them. It started to flow...and then stopped, blocked. John frowned and gazed down on his husband. "I mean it – submit," he said. "This is my choice, not yours. My decision, not yours."

 

"I don't want you to do this," Rodney told him. "I'm getting better!"

 

"You'll get better twice as fast if we share it," John told him.

 

"You'll be scarred for life," Rodney whispered, gazing up at him, his blue eyes shocked.

 

"Well so are you," John replied. "Rodney – you're my husband. Remember those vows you made...submit to me, Rodney."

 

Rodney shook his head, and John leaned forward, took his face in his hands, and kissed him deeply on the mouth. Rodney trembled and opened up under his questing mouth and John kissed him for a very long time, kissed all the fight out of him, kissed him to remind him who he was and what his husband demanded of him, and when he finally released him, Rodney gazed up at him helplessly from those intense blue eyes of his, and the Kaeira started to flow again.

 

"Thank you," John said, stroking Rodney's face lovingly with his fingertips. "Just go with it, Rodney. Come whenever you like." He leaned forward again and pressed his lips to the wound on Rodney's chest and the Kaeira hummed around them. John flung his head back, jolted by something that felt like a surge of electricity, and felt himself flying through a window between two universes. A man in a uniform looked up, and, startled by his sudden appearance, raised his gun and fired. John felt the skin rip on his chest and a wave of pure fire slice through his body. He gasped out loud, and tried to ground himself on Rodney's hard cock, still pressed deep inside him. He felt Rodney's hands come up to rest on his hips, caressing and comforting him, and that helped. John began to ride Rodney in earnest now, up and down, the Kaeira so deep and hot that it was almost overwhelming, and he could see the scar on Rodney's chest looking less angry with each inward thrust.

 

John rose and fell, up and down, up and down, lost in the healing, in the sharing, in the sex...and then he placed the palm of his hand on Rodney's scar, and wrapped the other around his own cock and rode Rodney harder, milking him until he could feel Rodney tensing beneath him and then he felt Rodney come and he came in tandem, spilling out onto Rodney's belly. Finally he came to a halt, sweat dripping down his face, and found himself looking into his husband's adoring blue eyes. His own chest hurt, and he looked down to see the new scar there, the same size and length as that on Rodney's chest. Both of the scars were puckered but much further along in the healing process than Rodney's had been before the Kaeira. John felt battered, his body weaker than it had been, and the wound on his chest hurt when he moved, but it had been worth it. He slid off Rodney's softening cock and fell down onto the bed beside him, and Rodney took him in his arms and brushed his dark hair away from his sweaty face and kissed him fiercely, passionately, on the lips.

 

"Thank you," he whispered and John could feel through the lifebond that he was much stronger now, no longer the frail invalid of a few hours ago. Now they had shared the wound between them, taken it on both their bodies, and it was half as bad as it had been when Rodney had borne it alone. "I love you," Rodney said, his lips insistent on John's face. John turned in his husband's arms and ran his fingertips weakly through the curly tips of his hair.

 

"I know," he replied, and he could feel it, could feel their love burning and pulsing through the lifebond, a warm, tangible thing. He allowed Rodney to hold him in his arms, stroking him gently and whispering little words of adoration and affection in his ear until they both fell into another deep, healing sleep.

---

 

Part Twelve: Sharing a Plate

 

 

"I hate parties," Rodney McKay was saying through the closed bathroom door.

 

"I know," John replied, leaning against the wall in Rodney's quarters and playing with his PDA. "That's why I'm here – to remind you that there will be food. Really nice food. Party food."

 

"That's the only reason why I *ever* go to parties," Rodney told him.

 

"And that's another reason why you never get laid," John pointed out, and then he paused, head cocked, waiting for the inevitable torrent of protests.

 

"That's not true! And how would you know how often I get laid anyway!" came back the blustering reply. John grinned and rolled his eyes at the bathroom door.

 

"Oh, I have a pretty good idea," he replied. "Besides, you'll like *this* party. This party is special. We have to send the General and Dr Sheppard off in good style don't we? Don't want them going home tomorrow and telling all those leather people they live with that we don't know how to throw a good party."

 

There was no reply. John sighed and put his PDA away. It had been a couple of weeks since Rodney Sheppard had been shot, but he'd made an excellent recovery – which, John suspected, was due in no small part to the General. Now they were well enough to return to their own universe, and Elizabeth had decreed that a big party should be held in their honour in the big hall.

 

"Are you coming out any time *soon*?" John asked. "Because all the good food will be gone before we get there."

 

The door opened almost immediately at that, as John had suspected it would, and Rodney stood there, looking, actually, endearingly shy. John didn't think he'd ever seen this particular expression on Rodney's face before but over the past couple of weeks he'd become used to seeing these new expressions as Rodney had started trusting him enough to lower his guard with him. John didn't linger too much on Rodney's face though...because he couldn't help his gaze travelling up and down Rodney's body – and, man, Rodney looked *hot*. He was wearing a pair of black chinos, and a loose, pale blue denim shirt. His clothes weren't exactly anything extraordinary but they were so unlike anything John had seen Rodney in before that he took a moment to enjoy it. The shirt went well with Rodney's blue eyes, and it hung pleasingly on the other man's toned arms and shoulders. The pants fitted around his ass in a snug way, clinging in just the right places to make John's cock stir in his pants, and...he'd done something with his hair. John wasn't entirely sure what, maybe some gel because it was sort of spiky, but it looked good. In fact, Rodney actually looked...kind of cool, which, for someone as geeky as Rodney, was saying something.

 

"You look...really hot," John told him. Rodney flushed.

 

"Thank you, Colonel," he said primly. John noticed he always reverted to calling him Colonel whenever he thought things were getting too personal. Somehow Rodney didn't seem to have noticed that they were actually dating but John intended to enlighten him on that topic tonight. He figured he'd waited long enough, and although Rodney wasn't quite eating out of his hand yet, he was definitely twining around his ankles and wrapping his tail around John's leg. "And you...uh, look okay too," Rodney added, glancing at John's jeans and dark olive-green shirt ensemble. His gaze lingered just a bit too long when it reached John's ass, and John grinned to himself. Oh yeah, Rodney was so nearly there – tonight was going to be very interesting.

 

"So – ready?" John asked. Rodney nodded and they set off to the big hall. John swung into step beside Rodney and rested his hand on the scientist's shoulder, noticing as he did so how Rodney adjusted his stride, almost imperceptibly, to match his own, and how his body leaned in towards his. John longed for the day when he could slide his arm around Rodney's waist as they walked, or wrap his arm around Rodney's shoulders and across his chest, or allow his hand to rest on Rodney's enticing ass, but for now, he would settle just for being able to rest his hand lightly on Rodney's shoulder. "You have to admit you're going to miss these guys," John said as they walked. "I mean, I know we've had our differences with them, but I'll be sorry to see them go."

 

"I have become...accustomed to having them around," Rodney admitted.

 

"Oh come on – you and Rodney Sheppard have been inseparable these past couple of weeks," John chided. "I know you didn't get on with him to start with, but now you finish each other's sentences all the time and nobody knows what the hell you're talking about when you get going on the science gobbledegook."

 

"It has been nice to finally have someone around here that's my intellectual equal and can actually conduct an intelligent conversation," Rodney commented, with a sly grin in John's direction. John pinched his shoulder for that and Rodney giggled. John stopped short in his tracks. "What?" Rodney said, looking back at John.

 

"You...that sound you just made. Do it again."

 

"What sound? I didn't make any sound!" Rodney protested.

 

"Yes you did. You giggled, Rodney."

 

"I most certainly did *not*," Rodney refuted.

 

"Oh yeah. You giggled. I'm going to listen out for it and next time you do it you are *so* busted."

 

"There won't be a next time because there wasn't a first time," Rodney said loftily. "I didn't giggle - I was clearing my throat. Now are we going to this damn party or not?"

 

They stepped into the big hall a few seconds later to find the party already in full swing. There were balloons everywhere, and a massive banner saying "GOODBYE!" strung across one end of the hall. The entire room – and it was a big room – was heaving with people.

 

"Is everyone in the entire city here?" Rodney asked, wrinkling up his nose.

 

"They're popular guys – and it's not just the city. We've been ferrying over Athosians all afternoon," John told him. "The General made quite a few friends over there. Don't worry, Rodney – I'm sure there'll be enough food for everyone."

 

Rodney looked relieved on that score and went running off to find it.

 

John turned – to find the General striding towards him.

 

"John! I've been looking for you!" The General grabbed him by the arm and steered him out onto the balcony. "Look, I don't know how much time we'll have in the morning and...well, I don't know how long I'm going to be sober this evening..." He held up a bottle of beer with a grin, "so I wanted to say goodbye now."

 

"I hate goodbyes," John muttered, resting his hands on the balustrade and looking out on the dark Atlantean night.

 

"Me too," the General said with a grin. "Obviously. But...I just wanted to say that it's been a pleasure and an honour meeting you, John. You're a good man and you've done a fantastic job here."

 

John gazed sideways at the other man, feeling a warm glow deep inside. He knew he wasn't alone in his hero worship of the General – he suspected that most of the people in this city would throw themselves into the dark ocean beneath them right now if the General said it was necessary – but it meant a lot to him that he had the General's good opinion.

 

"Any lessons you could give me on...you know...being cool before you leave?" John asked with a wry grin.

 

"Oh I think you've got that pretty much covered," the General replied, grinning back. They gazed at each other for a moment, and then the General shifted. "I mean it," he said. "I've spent a lot of time talking to your people and not one of them had a bad word to say about you – well, except that Kavanagh guy but I figure he has a bad word to say about everyone, right?"

 

John snorted. "That sounds about right, yes," he agreed.

 

"But the rest of them think that as far as you're concerned, the sun shines out of the proverbial..." The General shrugged and grinned again. "But you knew that anyway – didn't you?"

 

John thought about it for a moment, and then he gave a little nod. "Yeah. I knew it. They're a great bunch of people," he said softly.

 

"Now...there's one thing I need to know before we leave," the General said, a little grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. John sighed.

 

"I'm working on it!" he said.

 

"Good – because some things are different in our universes – like Radek being alive here, but there are some things that seem to be universal constants and I'm sure you wouldn't want to be the odd universe out. Any advice I can give you?"

 

"No, I think I can take care of it, thanks," John made a face.

 

"Okay but you know I'm going to anyway, right? Always be honest with him – he can see through bullshit a mile away and he won't trust you if you lie to him – and his trust is important, as I'm sure you've figured out. It takes forever to win it but once you've got it...it's a feeling like nothing else. He'll make you feel special in a 101 ways every single day and you'll wonder why on earth someone so incredibly smart would be interested in you – and then he'll do something amazingly stupid and you'll remember exactly why he needs you. Be firm with him, never allow him to retreat or push you away – and just love him, fiercely, with all your heart. He responds to that best of all."

 

"I'll try to remember all that," John said, shaking his head ruefully.

 

"Do more than try. You're too good a man to be lonely, John. I want to leave here knowing that you've got someone special in your life; someone loyal and loving who'll take care of you."

 

"This is Rodney we're talking about here," John commented, with a little quirk of his mouth.

 

"Just you wait – he'll surprise you. He surprises me every day," the General said. "He takes some taming, but once you've got him eating out of your hand you won't find anyone more loyal or, frankly, more fun to have around. And as for the sex..."

 

John grinned and rolled his eyes. "You know, one thing I'm not going to miss about you guys is the way you talk about sex so much in casual conversation. Call us old fashioned..."

 

"Or hopelessly repressed," the General grinned.

 

"Or hopelessly repressed, but we just don't talk like that."

 

The General laughed out loud at that. "Well, our ways may not entirely be yours but I think in some ways you and I are pretty similar - and we've both learned a lot from each other."

 

"Really? You learned something from us?" John asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

"Sure – things are different here and I'm not denying I've found them strange and complicated, but it's been an amazing experience – and one I wouldn't have changed for anything, despite its downside. You people are kind - kinder than we are, I think. You're also extremely generous and although I've found your politeness irksome at times, I've since come to realise it's just a sign of your fundamental decency and sense of honour. You're less fierce than we are but not less passionate I think – you just keep the passion more hidden, whereas with us it tends to be more on display."

 

"Yeah. We had kind of noticed," John grinned. The General grinned back and then his expression changed, and became thoughtful and serious.

 

"Most of all though – I wouldn't change meeting you, John," he said. "That's what's made this whole experience worthwhile. Now, this might be my last chance to say this...so...it's been an honour, Colonel." And with that, the General stood to attention, raised his hand stiffly to his forehead, and saluted. John gazed at him, a tiny lump forming in his throat.

 

"Thank you," he said softly.

 

~*~

 

Rodney McKay pushed his way over to the food, found a plate, and began piling it high with goodies from the table. Then he turned and edged away with his laden plate.

 

"Out of my way! Coming through!" he called impatiently to the throng of people blocking his way.

 

"Hey," a voice said, and he turned to find Rodney Sheppard standing there with a plate also piled high with food. He was dressed in that blue silk shirt and his curly hair was longer than ever. The other Rodney looked him up and down and then gave a little whistle. "Wow – I never thought I'd say this but you actually look pretty hot," he said.

 

Rodney rolled his eyes, squirming inside but peculiarly pleased by the compliment all the same. "Thanks. That's what John just said."

 

"Heh. How's that going?" The other Rodney gave him an alarmingly lascivious wink and Rodney blinked.

 

"Fine. I think. In fact, I think we might be on some kind of a date tonight but I'm not sure."

 

The other Rodney grinned. "See – I told you," he said, in a tone of some glee. "You two will be sharing a plate before we know it."

 

"Sharing a plate?" Rodney frowned, as they walked over to the balcony together to find the two Johns.

 

"It's a euphemism we use in our universe for when a couple get together," the other Rodney explained. "You see, when a couple get serious often the first thing they'll do is start sharing a plate of food at the dinner table. Sometimes it can be a real performance doing it for the first time. It means you're sleeping together and you've figured out whether you're topping, or bottoming, or switching in this particular relationship, and that you're serious about each other and you want everyone else to know that. You have no idea how many stupid romantic comedies have been made about couples sharing a plate, or sharing the wrong plate, or not sharing a plate but wanting to, or seeing people they're married to sharing a plate with someone else by accident and coming to the wrong conclusions."

 

"Oookay," Rodney said, faintly alarmed by the explanation. "Well, I think I can safely say that the Colonel and I will never share a plate. I don't care how much I like the guy, my food is my food and I don't do sharing."

 

They reached the Johns and the other Rodney handed the General his plate while Rodney's John gazed at him with a little pout.

 

"You didn't get me any?" he said. Rodney sighed and shoved the plate at him.

 

"Here, have mine," he said. "I'll go and get some more."

 

"No need – you've got enough here to feed an army! Hey – aren't these those meat roll things you like so much?" John picked one up and held it out and Rodney found himself opening his mouth and taking a bite, and then he groaned as he saw the expression on the other Rodney's face.

 

"You were saying?" The other Rodney raised an eyebrow.

 

"This is not that...that thing we were just talking about," Rodney hissed around a mouthful of food.

 

"Okay. If you say so. It's just that it looks like the exact same thing," the other Rodney said, with that little giggle of his.

 

Rodney decided not to bother protesting.

 

"I was just explaining to him about the origins of the phrase 'sharing a plate'," the other Rodney explained to the General, who was looking at them both with a raised eyebrow.

 

"Ah, I see. Did he explain to you about the phrase 'buckling the belt' as well?" the General asked.

 

"Nope – never heard of that one," John said.

 

"I told Carson awhile back – when we first arrived. See this belt..." the General pointed at the frankly impressive black leather belt with the large silver buckle he was wearing. "This is my wedding belt – Carson was my best man so he buckled it for me the first time. He also made sure it was well stocked with all the kinds of paraphernalia I'd need to handle my husband – and it's a good thing he did because when we arrived here we only had the clothes we stood up in. Thank god I had my strap and all the other things I need to keep Rodney here in order."

 

The other Rodney snorted out loud at that. "Yeah, because I'm such a difficult sub," he groused.

 

"You have your moments," the General replied with a grin. "Half the stuff on this belt is business and half is for pleasure," he told them. "And sometimes the line between those two concepts is a little bit blurred. So that's why we sometimes say 'buckling the belt' when two people get married."

 

"Supposing they're both switches?" Rodney asked, feeling rather pleased with himself for getting to grips with the strange ways of this other universe.

 

"Then they both get a belt," the other Rodney said. "As it was, I got a collar – which John put on me – and he got the belt. It's all just customs really – like your wedding rings."

 

"And the pendants? Were they a wedding thing?" Rodney asked, gazing at the pendants around their counterparts' necks, both of which were engraved with the same entwined J and R that was tattooed on their arms.

 

"Nope – we gave each other these the night we lifebonded," the General replied, fingering his gently and smiling at his husband. He put his arm around the other Rodney and deposited a kiss on his forehead. "Hey – don't you think this party needs some music?"

 

"I think Radek is setting something up," Rodney gestured with his head across the hall at where Radek was fiddling with some kind of sound system.

 

"How about some live music in the meantime?" the General suggested. "I got Colonel Caldwell to bring something back on his last trip. Rodney played it for me while we were recuperating – music always calms him down and I love listening to him play."

 

"Really?" John looked intrigued by this although Rodney had a suspicion he knew what it would be, and his heart sank when he saw he was right as the General led them across the room to a small baby grand piano.

 

"She's a beauty, isn't she?" the other Rodney said, scrambling to sit down at the instrument. "I have no idea what John had to bribe Steven with to get him to bring her back but I made sure he knew just how grateful I was." He winked at his husband and Rodney found himself flushing again, although really he thought he should be used to this by now.

 

"Wait...he plays?" John asked, surprised.

 

"Like an angel...or sometimes like a demon," the General said, with a little wink of his own.

 

The other Rodney paused for a moment, his hands poised dramatically over the keyboard, and then he brought them down on the ivories and his fingers began moving fast, like a dervish whirling its way across the board. Rodney closed his eyes, hating the way his own fingers were twitching.

 

"My god," he heard John breathe beside him. "He's fantastic."

 

"He could have played at concert level but some idiot piano teacher dented his confidence when he was just a kid," the General growled. "If I could get my hands on that guy I'd pound some sense into him. No, of course he didn't play with a whole lot of soul when he was twelve years old – he didn't have many life experiences to draw on back then! But he was technically brilliant and he still is – and I'd defy anyone to say he doesn't pour his heart into his music when he plays. Sometimes, when he's playing just for me...it can bring tears to my eyes."

 

"He's *that* good?" John said, in a surprised tone.

 

"Oh yeah. He's that good."

 

"Well I guess that's something that's different to our universe, huh Rodney?" John said, turning to glance at Rodney. Rodney opened his eyes, his entire body convulsing with longing to be part of the sound emanating from that piano. He'd always vowed he'd never touch a piano again but the look of pure rapture on his counterpart's face was a siren's song he just couldn't resist.

 

"Not so much, no," he replied softly, and then he found himself walking over to the piano, and sitting down beside the other Rodney, who looked up briefly, then grinned and budged up to make room for him.

 

It had been over 25 years since he'd last played but Rodney's fingers still knew all the notes. He could sometimes hear the sounds in his head at night and would find his fingers sliding over imaginary keys, searching for the tune, and now it was as if he'd never stopped playing. He brought his fingers down on the keys, caressing them, teasing out a tune with his counterpart, and the music began to flow effortlessly between them. Rodney lost himself in the sound – it had been so long since he'd enjoyed this particular pleasure and he'd forgotten just how much he'd once loved it. Playing the piano had been a good way of avoiding his parents, and if he played long enough and loud enough he had been able to drown out the sounds of their many arguments. As a child he'd always been fascinated by both music and math, by how they brought order and harmony to what was, for him, a pretty chaotic world, and he'd perhaps been overly absorbed by the technical side of playing the piano, at the expense of the emotional side of making music. When his teacher had told him he'd never make it as a concert pianist because of the lack of feeling in his music, he'd turned his back on it irrevocably and thrown himself into science instead, with the same degree of dedication. But now...now it felt so good to be caressing those beautiful sounds out of the instrument in front of him. He turned and grinned at Rodney Sheppard, who grinned back excitedly, and they played together, their fingers tripping in tandem over the keys.

 

A little crowd gathered around them as they played and when finally they stopped the room burst into a spontaneous round of applause.

 

"Well aren't you the dark horse," John murmured as Rodney got up, feeling flustered by all the unaccustomed attention. "Seriously – that was amazing. I had no idea you could play like that."

 

"There are a lot of things about me that you have no idea about, Colonel," Rodney replied, and an unreadable expression flickered across John's face and the atmosphere between them became suddenly tense with all kinds of unspoken thoughts. A sudden loud blaring of disco music broke into the tension, and they both looked across the room to find Radek hopping up and down excitedly, waving his hands around. Elizabeth came up, a wide grin on her face.

 

"Looks like it's time to dance!" she announced.

 

"Rodney?" the General said, holding out his hand to his husband. His Rodney took it and they began moving in time to the beat in a way that Rodney found frankly embarrassing.

 

"Oh god," he sighed. "It's like watching your parents dance or something. If your parents were gay that is."

 

"Don't be an idiot, Rodney," Elizabeth said. "There are plenty of same sex couples dancing – these two have set quite a trend while they've been here." She nodded her head in the direction of the sound system, where a throng of couples were now gyrating. Rodney made out Miko with her arms around one of the female scientists from the botany department whose name he didn't know, and a couple of male scientists – the ones who always played chess together - whose names he also didn't know, along with the usual multitude of heterosexual couples. "And as this is a party for our guests, I think we should all dance with someone of our own gender in honour of their relationship," Elizabeth said, with an infectious little giggle that led Rodney to suspect that she'd had far too much to drink. "Teyla – would you do me the honour?"

 

"I would be delighted, Elizabeth," Teyla said, with a gracious inclination of her head. Rodney groaned.

 

"Honestly, it's excruciating."

 

John turned to him, a wide smile on his face.

 

"What?" Rodney gazed at him, and then realisation hit home. "Oh no. No, no, no," he said hurriedly, putting his hands up.

 

"Everyone's doing it, Rodney," John told him, advancing on him.

 

"That's no reason for *us* to do it!" Rodney protested.

 

"You're just playing hard to get," John teased, grabbing him by the wrist and pulling him over to where everyone was dancing.

 

"We'll never live this down," Rodney told him.

 

"Rodney – this entire city has just spent several weeks watching two people who look and talk just like us kissing and fondling each other every five minutes. I really doubt the sight of you and me dancing will have them raising an eyebrow."

 

"Yes...but..."

 

"Ssh," John said, and then he wrapped his fingers around Rodney's hand and swung him backwards. "And don't say you don't have any rhythm because I just heard you play the piano and you were never once off beat," John told him.

 

Rodney sighed and began to do some cautious swaying – he hated dancing, but more because he hated making any kind of public exhibition of himself. His counterpart seemed to have no such qualms and was busy leaping around the dance floor excitedly, throwing himself around and singing along loudly. The General was more restrained – even while dancing he didn't quite manage to lose that sense of cool. Rodney was relieved when the tune changed into a slow one, giving him an excuse to sidle away from John...but just as he was about to make a bid for freedom, John reached out and pulled him back.

 

"No. This is...definitely not..." Rodney protested but then John pulled him close, so he was pressed right against his chest, and the Colonel's hands slid around his back and Rodney found that he was being...kind of held. "Oh god," he hissed, into John's chest.

 

"Just relax and go with it, Rodney," John said, and those hazel eyes of his were warm and amused, fixed intently on Rodney's mouth. Rodney closed his own eyes and gave in to the sensation. It wasn't bad – in fact, it was pretty good. The Colonel's body was hard against his, and his hands were stroking his back...and moving southwards...Rodney jerked his eyes open.

 

"Oh god," he whispered again.

 

"Problem?" John asked.

 

"No...just...this is a date isn't it?" Rodney said. "I'm only asking because otherwise, what you're doing with your hands...seems wildly inappropriate, Colonel."

 

"Yes, Rodney, this *is* a date," John told him, smiling.

 

"Okay...I needed to check because I haven't been sure and it's been confusing me. And, uh, that time on the puddle jumper with all the fish – that was a date as well wasn't it?" Rodney asked, because he thought it would be nice to clear that one up while they were at it.

 

"Yes, Rodney. That was a date too," John told him, still smiling.

 

"I knew it!" Rodney said, pleased with himself.

 

"And how do you feel about that?" John asked him, his hazel eyes watchful.

 

"Um. Surprised?" Rodney suggested. "I've never actually considered myself to be gay, but then again I never actually considered you to be gay, but you seem to be...well, not entirely straight anyway...so I thought the least I could do was figure out whether that was true for me as well, and then..."

 

"Rodney?" John broke into the flustered monologue, a lazy smile on his lips.

 

"Mm?"

 

"Sssh," John told him, pulling him close.

 

"Oh. Right. Okay."

 

Rodney nodded and closed his eyes again, willing himself to relax, and leaned into John a little, just testing out how it felt...and discovered that it felt good. Duly encouraged, he rested his head against the Colonel's shoulder and slid his own hands around the other man's body and rested them on his ass. He liked what he could feel of it – it was firm and felt good under his fingertips. Rodney sighed and allowed himself to relax even further. So, this was a date, which meant that the Colonel was actually interested in him, which, yes, he supposed he'd known on one level but it wasn't always easy being sure...and now he knew he could...what? Rodney had no idea, but decided not to think about it because he was enjoying himself far too much right now. He felt John's lips brush against his hair and that felt so good that he found himself making a little mewling sound at the back of his throat, and then John's arms were tight around his body and they were pressed as close together as two people could be and Rodney didn't think he'd ever felt so content in his life before.

 

Several hours flew by, although Rodney wasn't entirely aware of them passing; he was having too much of a good time. He thought he'd probably drunk too much which wasn't like him, but he didn't care because it was such a great evening. Then there seemed to be fewer and fewer people around, and then he saw the General staggering off with a singing other Rodney under one arm, and then there was just him and a few other stragglers. He wasn't sure where John was but he thought the Colonel had said something about going onto the balcony for some air. Rodney sat down at the piano and began to play a little song, teasing out the notes with his fingers. The music seemed to flow from his fingertips and he bent over the piano and just allowed the music to pour out of him. He felt as if something had been unblocked – as if he was letting go of a whole load of crap, just letting it free, sending it out with all the notes into the night air.

 

"Hey," a voice said, and John sat down next to him.

 

"I think..." Rodney said, plonking his fingers insistently on the keyboard, "that I'm probably very, very drunk."

 

"You are," John told him.

 

Rodney nodded solemnly. "I thought so," he said.

 

"It's late," John told him. "Time for bed."

 

"No. I want to stay here...want to play," Rodney said, fingertips fondling the keys like he was making love to them. Making love... "Oh...you didn't want to...? I...uh...I'm not..." Rodney stammered, looking up into a pair of intense hazel eyes.

 

"No. Do I look like the kind of guy who takes advantage of someone when they're drunk?" John asked with a raised eyebrow. Rodney giggled.

 

"No. Such a gentleman. Gentleman John," he murmured. "With the slow dancing, and the slow courting, and all the sloow, slooow, sloooooow..." He lost his train of thought and gazed at the piano keyboard vacantly.

 

"Rodney." John took hold of his face between his hands, and his eyes were suddenly very serious. Rodney swallowed hard. "You must have figured out by now that I'm not playing a game here," he said. Rodney's eyes widened, wondering what was coming next. "I want you, Rodney," John whispered intently, and Rodney felt an odd thrill course through his veins at that. "I mean it. I want you. All of you – not just for fun, or to try it out, or for a quick fuck. I want *you*, Rodney. Now, I'm a patient man, I've shown you that, and the next move is up to you. I'll wait for you to be ready, but when you are you have to be sure – and I mean you have to be *really* sure - because once you give me a sign that you're ready, then there's no turning back."

 

"A sign...?" Rodney bit on his lip. John caressed his cheeks with his thumbs, his hands hot and heavy on the sides of Rodney's head.

 

"Once you let me know you're ready, then I'm going to be in your life – and we are going to spend a long time really getting to know each other – in all kinds of different ways," John told him, and as he said that he moved one of his hands down and gently brushed the side of Rodney's arm, and Rodney felt a flare of pure heat run from where John had touched him straight to his groin, and he had no doubt at all what John meant by that.

 

"Okay?" John asked, and Rodney nodded, numbly. "Okay then," John said, getting up.

 

He looked as if he was about to go, but then he changed his mind, and leaned down, took hold of Rodney's face again, and kissed him on the mouth. It was a gentle kiss – he didn't open Rodney's mouth with his tongue, just kissed him on the lips, firmly and lovingly, but all the same, the touch of John's lips against his own made Rodney's entire body quiver and burn. This wasn't simply a kiss – it was a statement of intent - and he had no doubt at all that John meant it as such. With this one kiss, John had claimed him for his own, imprinting himself on Rodney's soul. There was no going back now – John had finally come out into the open and declared his intentions and now he would wait, and the next move would be Rodney's, and if it never came then nothing would ever happen between them, but now it was up to Rodney to figure out for himself, once and for all, what he really wanted. The kiss ended, and Rodney gave a little moan as John moved away from him.

 

"I mean it, Rodney," John said softly. "Once you give me that sign I'll make you mine so be very sure."

 

He caressed Rodney's cheek with the tip of one finger, and then, with a reluctant smile, he left.

 

Rodney sat there, his fingers numbly picking out a sweet, plaintive tune on the piano. "I'll make you mine" - the words reverberated around in his skull, teasing and arousing him. "I'll make you mine," he sang under his breath in time to the little song he was composing. "I'll make you mine, make you mine, make you mine...and all I have to do is say the word, give a sign, give a sign, give a sign..."

 

 

 

They gathered in the lab at eleven am the next day, all of them looking somewhat the worse for wear. Rodney wasn't used to drinking and had one hell of a headache, which normally would have made him irascible, but today just made him morose. He had never thought he would actually be sorry to see the General and his husband leave, but he was. He'd gotten used to having them around, and once they were gone things would get back to normal...and he'd have to make a decision about what happened next with John and right now that was the last thing he wanted to face. It wasn't that he didn't want the Colonel – he knew that he did by the way his entire body seemed to quiver and zing whenever the other man was around – but he had no frame of reference for someone loving him and wanting him this fiercely. He felt as if he was standing in front of a window to another universe – and before him, just out of reach, he could imagine many good things, but in order to get them he had to step into the unknown, and it was safer to remain put, where he knew where things were and how they worked, where things were comfortable, and mundane, and...safe.

 

Rodney pushed these concerns aside and set to work making one final check on the QDD. He'd been over it a hundred times already, but he wanted to be sure. He couldn't risk anything going wrong this time – he cared about these two men too much to want to send them off into the ether without being completely sure that he knew where they were going.

 

"Rodney, just to be clear," Elizabeth said, "Once the transfer is complete, you are shutting down the QDD, taking it down to the lower reaches of the city, sealing it in a room and putting a big sign on it saying "DO NOT TOUCH". Am I clear?"

 

"Yes, Elizabeth. Very clear," Rodney sighed. It would have been interesting to have played with it for a bit longer, especially now that they knew how it worked, but he had to concede that she had a point. The General snorted, and came over to Elizabeth to wrap her in a bear hug and say goodbye. The other Rodney was saying his own goodbyes. Rodney saw him grab a startled Radek and hold him tight.

 

"I never got a chance to say goodbye properly before but now I do," the other Rodney said fiercely. "You're so fantastic, Radek. From now on, it's not going to be like you're dead in my universe because I'll know you're here. It'll be like you've gone on a posting or something. I'll always remember you."

 

"Why thank you, Rodney," Radek said, and Rodney could tell by the tone of his voice that he was touched. "We will miss you too...you have been most fun to have around."

 

"Yeah. Sometimes me and him were like the floor show I think," the other Rodney said with a wince, gesturing with his head in Rodney's direction. "You'll miss all the fireworks."

 

"It was...inspirational," Radek said diplomatically and the other Rodney snorted in amusement at that.

 

The General had moved onto Ronon and Teyla and was busy shaking hands and giving hugs. Rodney finished with the QDD and waited his turn, and when the General arrived at him he held out his hand, a little shakily; he'd never really got over his fear of the General and still found John's counterpart scary. The General looked at the proffered hand, then at Rodney, and rolled his eyes. He brushed the hand aside and enveloped Rodney in a warm hug, squeezing him tight.

 

"Take care, Dr McKay," the General whispered. "And take care of him for me too – all right?"

 

"What? Yes...whatever," Rodney squeaked, because you didn't ever say no to the General.

 

The General drew back and grinned at him. "You know, I think you've got it almost figured out," he said. "Take a chance, Doc – you won't ever regret it."

 

Then he moved on to say a final goodbye to John. Rodney turned...and found himself face to face with his own counterpart.

 

"So." The other Rodney stood there.

 

"So." Rodney gazed at him helplessly. "Do you think we could skip the sappy bit because I don't think either of us is any good at that," Rodney said. The other Rodney grinned.

 

"My thoughts exactly. I just want you to know I forgive you for sucking us over here."

 

"Well. Great. Good. And I forgive you for...you know, being a bit of a jerk."

 

"Ditto." The other Rodney nodded.

 

"I think that's everything then," Rodney beamed.

 

"Yeah. So long." They shook hands and the other Rodney scampered off to join his husband in the taped off area of the room.

 

"Okay. Are we ready?" Rodney asked, going back to the QDD and checking the readings for the millionth time.

 

"Oh! One last thing. I almost forgot!" Rodney Sheppard hopped back over to where Rodney was standing, grabbed him, and gave him a tight hug...and as he did so, he pressed a small parcel into Rodney's hand. "I made them," he whispered into Rodney's ear. "You'll know what to do with them. Oh – and I've left a box of stuff for you in our room. We've got plenty of our own back home so we don't need it. Don't let me down, Rodney, or I'll be forced to come back and irritate the hell out of you."

 

"Yeah. Right," Rodney snorted. "You heard Elizabeth – she's making me shut down the QDD straight after you leave."

 

"Ah – but you're forgetting I have a QDD of my own," the other Rodney said, taking a step back and grinning at him. "It might take me a few days to get it up and running, but just so you know we could pop up again at any time."

 

"Oh god," Rodney sighed. The other Rodney grinned and patted his arm.

 

"You'll miss me really," he said and then he turned and ran back to his husband again. Rodney slipped the little parcel into his pocket to look at later, and then he turned for one final glance at the two men.

 

They were standing side by side, and the General had his hand wrapped firmly in his Rodney's leash, and the other Rodney had his arm around the General's waist, and they were both grinning like crazy...and that was his last image of them.

 

Rodney pressed the button and the beam flared into life. It caught them both and they took a step backwards and disappeared through the window.

 

"General?" John stepped forwards, tapping his radio while Rodney kept the beam open. "Did it work? Are you home?"

 

"John? It worked. Thank Dr McKay for us. We're home...right back in our quarters where we were when you found us. Rodney's just gone out into the hallway and is yelling to everyone who can hear that we're back...and, uh, now the room is starting to fill up with people!"

 

Rodney grinned – he could hear the noise through the window – it sounded like a horde of people were gathered round the returning men, welcoming them home and bombarding them with questions.

 

"Great. We have to close the beam now," John said, in a tight little voice. Rodney turned to look at him in surprise. "Goodbye – and thanks."

 

"You too," the General said, and John nodded to Rodney, and he cut the beam and then, finally, closed the window between the two universes.

 

They all stood there. Now that the moment was over, Rodney felt lost and empty. He stood and gazed at the spot where they'd been, and suddenly longed for them to be back.

 

"So. I guess that's it then," John said, taking a deep breath.

 

"I guess it is," Elizabeth said softly. "Rodney – remember what I said about the QDD."

 

Rodney rolled his eyes. "I'll do it, don't worry," he told her.

 

"Good. Then...perhaps things can get back to normal around here," she said. "Whatever normal is," she muttered as she exited the room.

 

"You okay?" John asked, glancing at Rodney.

 

"Fine." Rodney gazed at the other man for a moment, wanting to talk to him but having no idea what to say.

 

"Just so you know...that thing we were talking about last night...I'm going to give you some space to think about it," John told him. "I don't want you to feel under any pressure."

 

"Right. Okay." Rodney flushed, deeply uncomfortable with having this conversation while Radek was standing beside him, even though the Colonel was being very discreet. John gazed at him for a moment, his hazel eyes unreadable. Rodney gazed back helplessly, unsure what to do or say.

 

"Okay then," John nodded.

 

"Fine...um...I have dozens of different projects I put on hold while we were working on this. I've got a massive backlog to get through, so if you'll excuse me, Colonel."

 

Rodney turned away, and when he looked around again, he saw John leaving the room, his shoulders low and dejected. Rodney considered running after him but his legs wouldn't move, and in the end he decided to do what he did best when avoiding anything he didn't want to think about – he threw himself into his work.

 

Radek was like a quiet shadow by his side all day, bringing him cups of coffee while he worked, and the occasional donut. Rodney was surprised by how solicitous he was being, but he wasn't in the mood to talk, he just got his head down and worked. It took them all afternoon to pack up the QDD, and then they carried it together down to one of the storage rooms on the lower levels. Rodney fixed the appropriate "DO NOT TOUCH" sign to it and then stood back with a sigh.

 

"It is a shame – yes?" Radek said. "It is such an amazing device."

 

"Yeah...but Elizabeth's right - it's too dangerous to have around," Rodney said, still staring at it. "Ah well...we'd better get back to work." They turned and began walking back up to the lab. "I suppose you'll miss having Dr Sheppard around?" Rodney said as they went. "You and he...seemed to get along well." Rodney bit back his own jealousy as he said that. Radek gave a little shrug.

 

"He was a nice man...but, I am pleased to have our universe back as it was," Radek said, with a little grin. "With everyone in their proper place again. I am more comfortable this way."

 

"Really?" Rodney was surprised to find himself a little heartened by that reaction. Radek pushed his glasses a little further up his face and turned his head to look Rodney in the eye.

 

"Really," he said, and it wasn't a big deal, but there was just something about the way he said it that made Rodney feel happy.

 

They returned to the lab and Rodney worked for several long hours. He hadn't been lying to John earlier – there was a backlog of work to do. When he finally returned to his rooms he threw himself down on his bed wearily, longing for the respite of sleep so that he wouldn't have to think about how lonely the city felt without their counterparts around...or what he was going to do about John. Something dug into his hip, and he fished around in his pocket to find out what it was...and drew out the little parcel Rodney Sheppard had slipped to him as he was leaving. He opened it up, gingerly, wondering what the hell his counterpart could have made for him...and there, nestled inside the tissue paper, were two pendants, each bearing an entwined J and R. They weren't the same as the ones the other men had been wearing but they were similar, and Rodney recognised the other Rodney's familiar flair for design. He turned the pendants over and touched the initials with his fingertips. The J and R were so elegant, and they looked just right together, the new design working perfectly. Rodney remembered that his counterpart had said that he'd made them and he felt touched that he would have done something like that for him. What the hell was he supposed to do with them though? He knew what he should do with them, knew what some part of him longed to do with them, but he wasn't brave enough, so he wrapped them up again and put them under his pillow. He'd think about it again in the morning.

 

The morning didn't bring any answers though. Rodney had spent a restless night worrying about those pendants under his pillow, and by the morning he was still none the wiser as to what to do with them. He took them out, and examined them again for the hundredth time, his fingers caressing the black leather thongs, and shiny glass pendants. Then he took a deep breath and fastened one of the pendants around his neck. He examined himself in the mirror and felt a little thrill when he saw the pendant nestled against his skin; he knew it was ridiculous, but he couldn't help it. He pulled his uniform shirt on quickly over the top and made sure the zip was fastened all the way up, hiding the pendant from view, and then he gazed at himself again. He felt like he was nurturing some guilty secret, but now he was wearing the pendant he didn't want to remove it.

 

Rodney wore the pendant around his neck for the next few days. It gave him a little thrill when he was working to trace it idly with his fingertips. He knew it didn't solve anything, knew he still had to make a decision, but he liked having it there, against his skin.

 

John kept his distance – in fact he looked a bit like a lost soul, roaming the city without the General's leather clad presence at his side. There were dark shadows under his eyes so Rodney guessed that he wasn't sleeping any better than he was right now. He was true to his word though – he didn't seek Rodney out at mealtimes, or drop by his lab late at night to chat. He didn't escort Rodney back to his rooms in the evening, or put his hand on Rodney's shoulder. He didn't look at Rodney with that intent, purposeful gaze either, and Rodney found he missed him; this was what life used to be like, before their counterparts had arrived in the city, and he didn't like it. He didn't want this lonely existence back – he'd become used to hanging out with the Colonel, and had forgotten just what his life had been like in the old days. This wasn't what he wanted – but the alternative was so irrevocable and life-changing that it freaked him out.

 

About a week after their counterparts had left, Rodney remembered what his doppelganger had said about there being a box in their rooms and he went along to check it out. It felt strange being in here, in this place which had been so much *their* place. Rodney glanced around the room – it had been left neat and tidy, but somehow their presence still lingered. He saw a box on the table, and supposed this must be what his counterpart had been referring to. He went over to it and found a note attached to the outside. He opened it – it was in his own handwriting although he knew that he hadn't written it.

 

"Dear Rodney. Hope you get as much pleasure from these as I did. Everything's been cleaned." That sounded ominous. "Just remember to relax and go with it – you'll love it once you get the hang of it. Love Rodney."

 

Rodney opened the box, and gazed at the contents with wide eyes.

 

On top was Rodney Sheppard's blue silk shirt. There was another note attached:

 

"This is for you, Rodney. Should fit – you've dropped a few pounds and are now almost as good looking as me. I've got dozens of things like this back home and god knows your wardrobe needs all the help it can get."

 

Rodney rolled his eyes. God, that idiot still had the power to be annoying, even when he was in another universe. Rodney put the shirt to one side and pulled out the black pants that his counterpart had worn with it. He fingered the lace up crotch, wondering if he'd ever dare to wear something this revealing.

 

"Give them a try – John will enjoy seeing that ass of yours in these," the note said. Rodney flung the pants on top of the shirt and then he looked back in the box and his mouth formed a wordless "o" as he saw what was inside. He reached in, and pulled out a soft, hide flogger, with another note attached.

 

"You have to get John to use this on you – it's like being caressed with a pillow – so soft!"

 

Rodney let the long, velvety strands slide through his fingers. It did feel nice, he had to admit, although he wasn't at all sure about anyone using it on him. He had a sudden image of Rodney Sheppard, naked, being stroked with this implement, and he felt himself harden involuntarily.

 

Next out of the box was a much harder flogger, made of plaited rope.

 

"This one's kind of a companion to the other one," the note said. "Only this one bites where the other one kisses. They work well together in the right hands (and we both know whose hands those would be). The dual sensations are...well, try it and find out."

 

Rodney put that on one side and went back into the box. He pulled out a paddle.

 

"I almost insisted we took this one with us because John made it for me," the note said. "But he said he could make me another one when we got back and we'd look stupid carrying this through the beam – he knows what you guys are like about this kind of stuff."

 

"He was right about that," Rodney snorted, slapping the paddle lightly against the palm of his hand. It made a thwapping sound but it was quite light. Rodney put it to one side and looked in the box again. He was near the end now, but towards the bottom of the box were two pairs of soft cuffs and a couple of clips to tie them together.

 

"The Colonel will probably need to use these to keep you still because I expect you'll be crap at that to start with. You have such trust issues. Learn to relax and you'll see how good it can be," was the written instruction. Rodney rolled his eyes at that one and tossed the cuffs onto the other pile. Finally he pulled out a blindfold and a leather gag.

 

"I expect the Colonel will want to use this gag on you – can't blame him. I know I've wanted to," said the note. Rodney actually couldn't stop himself laughing out loud at that, despite himself. "As for the blindfold – it'll help you with your pathological need to always be in control," the note informed him. "Sometimes it's nice to just give it all up. I know you won't believe me, which is why you need to try it for yourself."

 

Rodney was about to put everything back in the box and then paused, catching sight of another note, right at the very bottom of the box, nestled against some strong, lightweight chains. Rodney opened it.

 

"Okay – there's something else, in the closet. Don't leave it there in case the Colonel finds it! Take it somewhere and burn it! Trust me on this. You never, ever want him to get his hands on it."

 

Intrigued, Rodney went over to the closet and opened it. It was empty, save for a long, whippy switch. Rodney reached out and picked it up, then swung it experimentally through the air. It made a whizzing sound and moved through the air so fast that he had no doubt how much damage it could do. Rodney winced, remembering the awkward way his counterpart had sat in his chair in the mess hall, ass resting gingerly on one crossed leg, the day after being on the receiving end of this particular implement. He put the switch back in the closet and shut the door, making a mental note to dispose of it later.

 

Rodney put everything back in the box and closed the lid, then took another glance around. His gaze settled on some hooks in the ceiling and when he glanced down he saw their counterparts in the floor. He shivered, imagining the scenes that had taken place in this room. He could see the General, striding around the room, those long legs of his encased in those tight leather pants, wielding one of the floggers. He could see the other Rodney, tied up and blindfolded, and the image made him harden immediately. Was this really what he wanted? He had to admit that it didn't sound bad. Rodney's handwriting and his cheery, sarcastic notes, made it all sound so very normal, and even...enticing?

 

Rodney picked up the box and walked over to the door. Then he paused, took one last look around, and left. He went back to his own room, and put the box down on the table there, then opened it again and removed the ice blue shirt. He took off his own shirt, and pulled the silky garment on. He had to admit it felt good against his skin – soft and sheer, caressing him with the softest of whispering touches. Rodney went over to the mirror, and gazed at himself. He hadn't realised that his hair had grown so much in the past few weeks – he'd been too busy to think about getting it cut, and it had started to curl at the ends. The pendant was visible through the shirt's open neck and...the strange thing was that he should have looked like Rodney Sheppard but he didn’t. He looked like himself, only his face looked a little softer, and his eyes a little brighter than usual and there was something about the way the shirt made him feel that loosened up his shoulders and made him think of sex. Rodney liked the way the shirt skimmed his nipples, making them harden into little points. His nipples were always fairly prominent anyway – they were incredibly sensitive and stood to attention at the least stimulus. Rodney caressed them through the silk shirt, amazed by how sensuous the cool fabric felt against his warm skin.

 

What would it be like to be tied up, he wondered, to be tied up and to have John's warm mouth slide across his naked, vulnerable body? Would he squirm and whimper and beg for release at the same time as begging for more? He moaned, aching with need, his cock rock hard. What would it be like to be exposed, overpowered, made to submit...? He remembered lying under John's hard body, remembered saying the 's' word, remembered how good it had felt to have his arms held above his head by John's strong hands and the warmth of his breath on his face...

 

Rodney fingered the pendant around his neck. "I'll make you mine..." The words danced in his memory. Did he want to belong to someone? Did he want to be claimed? To be held down, and kissed, and fucked, and...loved...?

 

"Yes!" a voice in his head said, and he found himself walking over to the bed. He grabbed the remaining pendant from under the pillow, felt it warm up in his hot, scared hand, and then he was running out into the hallway. He ran along to John's office but he wasn't there. Then he ran along to the practice room, to find Ronon sparring with some Athosian man he didn't know – but there was no sign of Colonel Sheppard. Rodney left without saying a word, and ran along to the puddle jumper bay. He was so intent on finding the Colonel that he didn't realise that he didn't have a clue what he was actually going to say to him when he did.

 

His heart did a somersault of relief and fear when he saw John, standing in one of the puddle jumpers, examining the console. Rodney hesitated, his hand closing even tighter around the pendant, but now was not the time to pause. If he stopped now then he might never do this. Rodney ran up the ramp, into the puddle jumper, and John turned, a surprised look on his face.

 

"Rodney? What the...?" John stopped, and looked at Rodney's silk shirt in surprise, then he caught sight of the pendant around his neck and his eyes widened. "Rodney?" he said, quietly, gazing at him so intently that Rodney found that his mouth had suddenly gone completely dry. He didn't know what to say – and didn't trust himself to speak anyway, so he just grabbed the Colonel's hand, placed the pendant in it, and closed the other man's fist around it. Then, suddenly appalled by the enormity of what he'd done, he turned, and fled.

---

 

Part Thirteen: Universal Constant

 

 

Rodney made it back to his quarters, his entire body shaking, his legs feeling weak underneath him. He couldn't believe what he'd just done – but he couldn't bring himself to wish it undone either. He paced the room, unsure what was going to happen next, berating himself under his breath the entire time, although for what, he didn't know. A few minutes later there was a knock on the door. Rodney stood there, transfixed, unsure what to do.

 

"Rodney?" John's voice, low and insistent.

 

"I think maybe I made a mistake," Rodney said, through the closed door.

 

"Why don't you open the door and we can talk about it?" John suggested, in an eminently reasonable tone.

 

That didn't sound too bad. Rodney thought he could do that. He found his feet going over to the door, and his trembling hands opening it...and John was standing there, an intent, fierce look in those hazel eyes of his. Rodney's gaze was drawn, for one brief second, to the pendant around the other man's neck, the mirror of his own, and then John swept forward, grabbed hold of his face, pushed him back against the wall, and captured his lips hard with his own.

 

All Rodney's doubts disappeared in that instant and he felt as if a lifetime's waiting was over as he surrendered to that fierce, possessive kiss. John's body was pressed close to his, John's knee between his open legs, and John's thighs pressed against his own groin, so close that he could feel the hardness of the other man's erection digging into him. John's tongue opened his mouth, devouring him, claiming him...and Rodney returned the kiss with a passion he hardly knew he possessed, opening up wide, every nerve in his body zinging with charged sexual energy.

 

Rodney had never been kissed like this before and his mind cried out in surprise at the same time as his body surrendered completely. He felt as if he was falling through space, and John was all that was holding him up, and it felt so *good*, so *right* that he knew it hadn't been a mistake. This could never be a mistake. This was where his whole life had been leading and the universe was slotting into place around him, finally ending up where it needed to be, where it *had* to be, where it had always been heading if he'd only had the sense to see it.

 

Rodney fumbled to place his hands on John's hips, just to keep himself upright, as John continued to kiss him as if his life depended on it. Rodney returned that kiss just as passionately, weeks of pent-up emotions finally spilling out. They kissed until Rodney thought he might pass out, and then John finally drew back for air. Rodney caught a glimpse of wild hazel eyes, and then John grabbed his hands, pushed them over his head, and held them there, pinning Rodney against the wall.

 

"Still want to talk about it?" John asked.

 

"No...uh, I think that cleared a few things up," Rodney replied.

 

"Good. Oh god I've wanted to do this for so long," John whispered, his warm breath sending shivers down Rodney's spine. "I've wanted *you* for so long. Thank god...oh thank god...." He kissed his way down the side of Rodney's exposed neck and then swooped back in for another fierce, hungry kiss from Rodney's lips and Rodney moaned and went limp in his arms. This was intoxicating and overwhelming at one and the same time; Rodney had never been swept away by any kind of physical passion before – his relationships had always been so short and awkward, and he'd never wanted anyone with this level of desire before either – or had them want him like this in return. He hung there, helpless in the other man's grasp, as John kissed him into the wall. Finally John drew back and released his hold on Rodney's wrists – only to grab him around the waist and pull him close, their bodies pressed tightly against each other, John's hands roaming restlessly over Rodney's back and ass. "I want you," he whispered into Rodney's neck. "I want you so much," and his voice was thick with arousal. Rodney understood the feeling – he was sure that if he didn't have John soon, then he'd explode with frustration.

 

"Want you too," he whispered.

 

"Now," John said insistently, and Rodney nodded, and grabbed John's face between his hands and kissed him again, needing to feel the other man's lips on his body. John grinned, and grabbed Rodney up and pushed him over to the bed, their lips still pressed together, and

Rodney had the sudden realisation that this thing that he'd been fantasising about for so long was now real, and about to happen, and he found himself scared and aroused at one and the same time.

 

"I've...uh...never...with a man," Rodney stumbled to explain. John grinned at him and pushed him down on the bed, leaning over him to steal another kiss.

 

"I kind of figured that one," he said.

 

"You mean you have?" Rodney asked, astonished. John wrapped his hand carefully in Rodney's hair and drew his head back slowly, then kissed him several times on the throat, from his chin to his adam's apple.

 

"Sure," he said when he reached Rodney's collar bones. "A few times." Keeping one hand in Rodney's hair, he traced the line of Rodney's collar bone with his index finger, trailing a line of pure fire in his wake. Rodney whimpered and pushed up against him and John grinned and pulled Rodney's head right back, exposing his throat, and then went in for another kiss on his mouth. Rodney hung there, utterly helpless and unable to move while John claimed him once more with his lips, momentarily removing any power of coherent thought from Rodney's brain.

 

Then John released him, but only so that he could push him back onto the bed, so he was lying there on his back, gazing up at John, feeling like a rabbit about to be eaten by a wolf. John knelt on the bed, straddling him.

 

"Don't worry, Rodney," John told him, fingers ghosting down the side of Rodney's face, caressing him gently, with tightly leashed sexual energy. "I'll take it really slow – you'll be begging to feel me inside you by the time I'm done."

 

"What? Uh...why do you assume...why am I...?" Rodney faltered.

 

"I top, Rodney," John told him, his teeth flashing a startling white as he gave another one of those sexual grins and he dipped his head and kissed Rodney's throat again.

 

"How do you know I don't top?" Rodney countered.

 

"Do you?" John asked, working his way up to Rodney's jaw.

 

Rodney sighed. "Oh I have absolutely no idea," he muttered.

 

"You bottom. Trust me on this," John told him, ending up at Rodney's mouth and kissing him again. He pressed his weight forward, holding Rodney down with his own body, and kept him there while he kissed him into the mattress until Rodney thought he might have stopped breathing. It was strange, one part of his brain observed, how kissing a man could feel so good. It should have felt awkward, feeling a stubbled face against his own, and a hard erection digging into his thigh, but instead it just felt intoxicating.

 

"You're thinking too much," John told him. "I don't want you to think at all, Rodney. It's like flying the puddle jumper - I just want you to feel."

 

He grabbed Rodney's arms and pinned them over his head and Rodney was reminded of that wrestling session and how John wouldn't let him up until he'd submitted. Now he knew that something similar was being asked of him, and he went limp in John's arms, and allowed the other man to pin him down and keep him in place. John grinned. "Oh that's good," he purred into Rodney's ear, his voice dripping sex. "Oh that's so good. I like it when you do that. Give it up to me, Rodney. Let me take it...let me take you..." His mouth wandered down the side of Rodney's face, roved down over his silk shirt and located a nipple through the sheer fabric. Rodney gave a squawk as John covered the silky nipple with his mouth and warmed it through his shirt. Then John transferred his attention to the other nipple, capturing it through the silk and worrying at it with his tongue. Rodney gave a strangled sob, twisting up, and John pushed him back down. "Keep still for me, Rodney," he whispered, and Rodney fell back again, writhing with pleasure as John tongued him again through the silk. It felt so good, so arousing, so intense...and Rodney found himself sighing with pleasure. This was so different to any of his experiences with women. He had usually been the one making all the moves then, and this whole concept of submission, of offering himself up to John, was at the same time unfamiliar and yet instinctively what he wanted to do.

 

John sat up, still straddling Rodney's body, and leaned forward again to look in Rodney's eyes. Rodney noticed his pendant, hanging down from around his neck and John grinned, seeing where his gaze was directed.

 

"Thought you'd never do it," he said. "Knew you wanted it...wanted it so bad...but was beginning to think I'd have to wait forever...and then...oh god...I need this so much. I need you so much, Rodney. I have to have you...it's been killing me keeping it inside." His fingers gently touched the side of Rodney's face, and Rodney was surprised to see that they were trembling. "But you're mine now," John said softly. "I told you I'd make you mine, Rodney. Will you let me do that now?"

 

Rodney gazed at him, transfixed by the fierce, loving look in the other man's eyes. He nodded, dumbly, wanting this with every single fibre of his being, and John's face creased into a smile.

 

"Good," he whispered. "There are so many things I want to do to you..."

 

He sat up, settled his weight on Rodney's waist and then started to unbutton the silk shirt. Rodney put out a hand to grab John's wrist, stopping him.

 

"Uh...shouldn't we turn the light off or something?" he suggested. John's smile widened into a laugh.

 

"Oh no you don't," he said. "I've been waiting for weeks to get to see you naked – there is no way, NO way that you are going to hide from me any more, Rodney McKay. You've been doing enough of that as it is."

 

"I don't...I'm not comfortable..." Rodney wriggled and John grabbed hold of his arms again and pushed them back over his head, then leaned forward and held him there.

 

"You're mine now," he said, his warm breath trailing a path of fire over Rodney's flesh. "And I want to see you."

 

Rodney saw a look of total sexual longing in John's eyes and he knew he was powerless to resist. He knew John would take him places he was scared to go, but he also knew that he needed to go there, and would never really be happy if he didn't. "Okay," he whispered numbly. John smiled down at him, and rewarded him with a sweet kiss on his lips. Then he released his hands and moved back to Rodney's shirt.

 

He took his time, his tongue protruding through his mouth as he worked, wetting his lips and making him look like some demented sex god. Rodney lay there, gazing up at him as he worked on the buttons, torn between his usual embarrassment and a need – no, a longing – to offer himself up and allow John to do whatever he wanted to him. Finally John finished, and then he ran his hands up along the edges of the silk shirt and slowly, very slowly, slid the two halves off Rodney's chest. John's breathing grew heavier as he revealed Rodney's naked body beneath the shirt, and Rodney was transfixed by the way the other man was looking down on him. John's eyes were heavy lidded with lust and he paused and ran his index finger gently down Rodney's bare chest, making Rodney shiver.

 

"Oh god...I can't tell you how long I've wanted to touch you here," he whispered. "It's been all I could do to hold it back...that time when we were wrestling...I wanted to tear your clothes off and get my hands on your naked skin. I knew you weren't ready though...took every single ounce of self control I had to allow you up when I just wanted to fuck you so damn badly, wanted to hold you down and make love to you until you screamed with pleasure. You have no idea what it did to me hearing you say that word...say it for me again now...say it, Rodney."

 

Rodney was spellbound; he had no idea that John's passions had run so deep, for so long. Now he appreciated just how self-controlled the other man had been with his long, slow courtship, waiting so patiently until Rodney finally woke up to what he wanted.

 

"Submit," he whispered. "I do...submit...to you, John."

 

Hearing the word again seemed to galvanise John into action. He lowered his head and pressed a little kiss to one of Rodney's nipples and Rodney gasped and reached out his arms blindly to grab John's head. "Mmm...feels good?" John said, with another of those frankly sexual grins.

 

"God yes!" Rodney wasn't sure anyone had ever kissed him in this particular spot before. Mainly when he'd slept with women it had been him doing most of the touching and they hadn't shown all that much interest in his nipples.

 

"Ssssh...relax..." John soothed, and then he dipped his head again and sucked down hard on the nipple he'd just kissed. Rodney nearly jumped off the bed as a jolt of pure pleasure zinged throughout his entire body.

 

"Oh shit," he whimpered. John sucked down even harder and Rodney felt himself moaning and thrashing around. John looked up.

 

"Keep still or I might have to tie you up," he said, in a throaty voice of pure sexual promise. Rodney swallowed hard, wondering how he felt about that and deciding that he liked the idea. "These are pretty sensitive, huh?" John said, moving back down to suck again. Rodney answered him by giving a whimper of pleasure. "Let me play, Rodney," John told him, lifting his head again. "I want to play with you."

 

Rodney groaned and bucked up again as John dipped his head once more and sucked on his other nipple. After awhile Rodney grew accustomed to the sensation – and then he found he liked it so much that his cock was practically digging an escape tunnel out of his pants. Finally John finished playing and went back in for another deep kiss on Rodney's mouth. Afterwards he drew back, and sat up. "I need you completely naked now," John told him. "Take that shirt off," he commanded, and Rodney shrugged the opened garment off his shoulders, at the same time as John began unfastening Rodney's pants.

 

"I'm looking forward to this bit," John told him with a grin. "Now lift your ass." Rodney did as he was told and John pulled his pants and boxer shorts down in one fluid motion and threw them onto the floor, then paused only to pull off his shoes and socks. Then he knelt on the bed and surveyed Rodney, his gaze sweeping over his newly naked body. "Oh yeah...this is what I've wanted to see," he said breathlessly. "Wanted to get my hands on this beautiful cock for so long..." He reached out and wrapped a hand around Rodney's rock hard cock and Rodney gasped and sat up. John pushed him back down again, not releasing his hold on Rodney's cock. "How long since you last had a blow job?" he asked. Rodney shook his head, beyond speech.

 

"That long huh?" John grinned. "Well just relax and let me work...I want you to come for me, Rodney. Don't hold back. I want to taste you." Rodney closed his eyes and a second later he felt something warm wrap itself around his cock and he gave a startled shout of pleasure.

 

"Oh god," he whimpered, as John sucked the tip of his cock, and then slid his mouth over the entire crown. "Oh shit..." John sucked him for only a few seconds before Rodney could feel himself about to come. John had told him not to hold back but it seemed such a disgracefully swift orgasm that he tried to stop himself. It was no use though - John's mouth was too warm and arousing, wrapped around his hard cock, and eventually he couldn't contain it any more and he found himself coming. John held his hips and swallowed his come, and then he licked Rodney's sated penis before sliding back up Rodney's body with another of those sexual grins on his face.

 

"You really needed that," he commented.

 

"I know," Rodney sighed, feeling his entire body relax in a post orgasmic haze.

 

"Don't relax too much because I'm going to get you hard again in just a minute," John told him without any hint of doubt at all.

 

"I might be horny but I'm not eighteen!" Rodney protested. John just shook his head.

 

"You'll get hard for me, Rodney, if I ask you to," he murmured and Rodney shivered, his mind definitely aroused by those words even if his cock was still soft.

 

John got off the bed and undressed, slowly, taking his time, and Rodney licked his lips and rolled over onto his side to get a better view, propping up his head on his hand. John's body was lean and toned, his shoulders and chest well defined, and Rodney found himself fascinated by the play of muscles under the skin. His gaze travelled down, over John's washboard stomach, and came to rest on his cock. Rodney had never had any appreciation for the male physique before but his entire body quivered when he gazed at John's cock, clearly responding on some basic level. John's cock was thick, hard and pulsing with a blunt head, and Rodney wanted to suck that cock, to hold it, run his fingers over it; and to take it into his body and make love to it every which way he could.

 

John retrieved something from his pant pocket and placed it on the nightstand.

 

"I stopped off for some lube on my way here," John told him, climbing back onto the bed. "I figured there was no way you'd be that prepared. Now...turn over, Rodney, because if I don't see your ass soon I swear I'll go insane."

 

"My ass?" Rodney said, surprised.

 

"Your ass. I've been thinking about nothing but your ass for weeks. I must have it, Rodney. Now. I want to stroke it, and kiss it, and bite it, and get inside it. It's been driving me crazy."

 

Rodney found it astounding that anyone would feel that way about his ass, but he rolled onto his stomach and then glanced back over his shoulder. John pushed his shoulders down so he was flat on the bed, and then gazed at Rodney's ass, his face just a few inches away from it. Rodney saw John's breathing becoming heavier again and saw his pupils turn dark with arousal. "Oh shit," John whispered. "This is beautiful. I knew it would be..." He kept Rodney's shoulders pinned down with one hand and stroked his other hand gently over Rodney's ass, just fondling the skin with the lightest of touches. Rodney sighed – it felt so good.

 

"Oh you like that don't you?" John said. "You like being petted, being stroked...I can almost hear you purr, Rodney."

 

"Mmmmm!" was the sound that emanated from Rodney's throat, sounding *exactly* like a purr.

 

"That's good...I'm glad you like this because I am going to be touching this ass the whole time from now on. This ass is mine now, Rodney, and I'm going to play with it every day." Rodney wasn't sure what he was enjoying the most – the stroking or the way John was talking to him, and he felt a twitch in his cock which should have been sated but clearly was eager for more.

 

John trailed his fingers lazily over Rodney's ass for what felt like hours, and then his hands strayed closer and closer towards the crack between the cheeks, and then suddenly Rodney felt his buttocks being parted and he gave a cry of surprise as he felt John's tongue slide inside him.

 

"Oh shit!" he cried out, grabbing fistfuls of sheets. He'd never been rimmed before, and it felt exquisite. John's tongue slid in deep, back and forth, making him hard all over again, just as John had predicted. Then John was licking his buttocks, and then nibbling just a little, and then he pressed his teeth down harder and Rodney glanced back, with a little cry of surprise, to see a faint bite mark imprinted on his flesh.

 

"I had to do it," John told him. "This ass is so plump, so soft, so sweet...I just need to bite it. I'd like to bite deeper next time," John growled huskily. "Will you let me do that, Rodney?"

 

Rodney swallowed hard and then nodded. He *liked* the mark on his ass, liked the way John was looking at his ass, and he wanted to feel the other man's teeth on his body again. John smiled, and soothed a hand over Rodney's buttocks, fondling them.

 

"Such an amazing ass," he murmured. "Now hold still for me. Don't move. Let me mark you." He lowered his head again, pinned Rodney's body to the mattress with his hands, and then started licking at his buttocks once more. Rodney relaxed, enjoying the insistent lapping, and then suddenly he felt John's teeth and he gave a strangled cry. It felt strange...it hurt...but it also made his cock ache with need. Was this what Rodney Sheppard had meant by a "good hurt"?

 

Those teeth seemed to stay in his flesh for a long time, sinking into him for what felt like an eternity and Rodney loved it. He loved offering up his body for his lover to tease and torment, and most of all he loved the idea that John was putting his mark on him. His buttock started to ache and he took a mouthful of pillow and tried to stop himself squirming. He was already getting used to the fact that John didn't like him to wriggle when he was playing with him. He wanted Rodney to surrender and capitulate – that was what turned him on and it turned Rodney on too, although he'd never have believed that if you'd told him so a few weeks ago.

 

Finally the bite came to an end and John sat back and surveyed his handiwork.

 

"Beautiful," he whispered, running his fingertips over the bite. "Now you're really mine," he said fiercely, proudly. "Turn over, Rodney. I want to look in your eyes when I enter you for the first time." Rodney swallowed hard, trembling ever so slightly at the idea of being entered by that thick, blunt cock. John looked big – bigger than Rodney was sure he could take, and he had no idea what it would feel like. "Sssh," John said, stroking his thigh softly and helping him turn onto his back again. "This will be good. Trust me."

 

Rodney was beyond speech, and he just nodded, still trembling. John grabbed a pillow and placed it under Rodney's ass, then reached for the lube and slathered some over his long fingers. Rodney gazed at him, finding the look of intent on John's face unbearably erotic.

 

"Open your legs for me...wide," John said. "I'm going to stretch this little hole. Make you ready for me. I want you to just relax and open up for me...that's all, just relax and let me in."

 

Rodney lay back, and John took up position between his open thighs. He gently tickled his fingers around Rodney's anus, teasing the hole, and then slowly inserted one of them, just a little way in. Rodney took a deep breath.

 

"I said relax," John grinned. "That's an order, Rodney. I expect you to at least try to obey." Rodney wasn't sure why the thought of obeying John in the bedroom was such a turn on but it *was*, and he wanted to do it, damnit! He wanted to make John proud of him, and give himself up to the other man, body and soul. He made a conscious effort to relax and John slid the finger all the way in and then slowly slid it out again, and then in, back and forth. It felt good, and Rodney found himself relaxing and opening up, wanting more, loving the sensation. John continued the easy thrusting for a few minutes and then inserted a second finger. Rodney tensed and it took him a few moments to get used to the extra width, but then he relaxed again. John smiled down on him. "See – this feels good doesn't it?" he said. "You should see what I see...I love the way you're opening up to me..." He paused for a moment and then Rodney tensed again as he felt three fingers slide inside him. This was more of a challenge, and he found it harder to relax. "Sssh," John said again, leaning forwards to press a kiss on Rodney's lips. Rodney sighed into John's mouth and John kissed him solidly, all the time sinking those three fingers deeper and deeper into Rodney's body. Rodney couldn't keep track of the fingers when John was distracting him with the kiss, and then he realised that he had relaxed and was enjoying the sensation of those fingers pushing into him, slowly, back and forth, back and forth.

 

John drew back and smiled down on him. He used his free hand to brush the hair away from Rodney's forehead. "I'm going to fuck you in a moment, Rodney," he said. "I'm going to slide into this eager little hole and fuck you until you beg for mercy. I'm going to put my hard cock inside you and make you mine once and for all."

 

Rodney didn't have an answer. He just grabbed John's free hand, raised it to his lips, and kissed it. He had wanted this for so long, and now the moment had come he couldn't wait for it to happen. He was still scared, but he *needed* this, damnit.

 

"Trust me?" John asked, his dark hair flopping into an endearing curl over one eye.

 

Rodney thought about it for a moment. This was a big deal for him – he simply never trusted people and never had, but this was John. This was John who had courted him so assiduously for so long. This was John who had taken the time and trouble to figure Rodney out, and wait for him to be ready. This was John who had held back until Rodney gave him a sign. This was John who he was completely, totally and ridiculously in love with.

 

"Yes," Rodney whispered. A grin split John's face in two and he pressed another loving kiss to Rodney's mouth, and then he drew back, removed his fingers, and reached for the lube once more. Rodney watched him slather lube thickly on his hard, magnificent cock, and then he positioned himself between Rodney's thighs again. He took hold of Rodney's buttocks and parted them gently.

 

"Just let go, Rodney...let me have you...let me have all of you," John told him, and Rodney could feel his cock pressing against his anus. John pushed against him, just a little, getting Rodney used to the feel of him, and then he took hold of Rodney more forcefully, and snubbed the tip of his cock into Rodney's opening. Rodney gasped. This felt nothing at all like John's fingers! He had been right to worry about John's size – he just didn't see how he could take something this big. "Relax – it'll burn at first, while I get inside you...but after that you'll get used to it," John told him, and Rodney tried to let go and keep his muscles slack, but it was so hard. "See...this little hole will stretch to take me..." John told him, sliding in another fraction. Rodney gave a hoarse cry and grabbed the sheets with his hands as it burned him unbearably.

 

"Oh shit...I can't!" he said hoarsely.

 

"Take it, Rodney...just a little more," John said, inching his way in, and then he was buried up to the hilt in Rodney's ass. Rodney felt a rising tide of panic. He couldn’t take this! He couldn't...it hurt...and he felt so full...and then something amazing happened. As John rested there, Rodney felt himself becoming accustomed to the sensation, felt his body relaxing around the large intruder, and then it didn't hurt any more. It just felt...so satisfying. John knelt there, giving Rodney time to adjust, gazing down on him with a look of total love and affection in his eyes. "Oh god...you feel so...amazing...so tight...so warm..." John flung his head back and Rodney thought he looked like some beautiful sexual demon, poised above him, his firm, naked chest covered in a fine sheen of sweat, his dark hair tousled. "I'm going to move now," John warned and Rodney hissed out loud as he shifted his position, sending shockwaves through Rodney's body. "I'm going to fuck you now," John promised, grinning down on him. "I'm going to pound into this tight little hole until you scream and beg and I'm not going to stop until I shoot my load deep inside you." Rodney felt his own semi-erect cock become rock hard at that and John laughed and wrapped his hand around it. "I told you I'd make you hard again," he said, and then he moved his hips back and Rodney felt that warm fullness disappear – and then John thrust back in again and Rodney moaned out loud, every single nerve ending in his body vibrating. John got into a rhythm, thrusting in and out, in and out, faster and faster, his hand moving on Rodney's cock in time to his thrusts. Now Rodney was a mass of sensation – John's cock felt so good inside his body, and he welcomed it deep within him, worshipping it...and then John adjusted his position and Rodney cried out loud as he hit some sweet spot deep inside him. He could hear himself whimpering as every thrust thereafter hit that same spot, sending him spinning off into ecstasy.

 

"Oh yeah – you are SO a bottom," John said, hips moving endlessly, sending him even higher with every inward thrust. Rodney was incoherent now, gibbering nonsense, and John was everywhere – his big cock inside him, riding him hard, his hand sliding back and forth on his own cock. "You're mine now, Rodney," John said, hips still moving, faster and faster now, so fast Rodney couldn't keep up with all the sensations in his body. "You're mine," John said. "Mine, mine, mine..." And then Rodney was coming, and the room was spinning and John was still thrusting, inexorably, claiming him, taking him, making him his. Rodney was dimly aware of John convulsing, and then he felt his come seeping out from his ass. John knelt there, between his open thighs, panting, gazing down on Rodney with a look of such fierce devotion that it took Rodney's breath away. "Mine," he said softly, and then he slid out of Rodney, rolled onto the bed beside him, took him in his arms and kissed him on the mouth. "Mine," he whispered, with a look of total surprise on his face, as if he hadn't expected that he'd feel it so deeply. "You do understand that, Rodney don't you?" he said, his hands warm and tight on Rodney's body. "You belong to me now. I just made you mine." Rodney nodded, numbly, thinking that this whole concept seemed really important to John, and then he felt a flood of warmth, of love, of belonging – or being *wanted* and he realised it was important to him too, and he buried his face wordlessly in John's neck and allowed the other man to hold him close.

 

As he lay there, cuddled in John's arms, he wondered why he'd ever had such a problem with this whole concept. Finally it made sense to him why his relationships with women had always been such a disaster. This was what he was and it was so good that he was relieved he'd been brave enough to embrace it. What he'd just done with John was the most physically fantastic thing he'd ever done in his life, and what he felt now, lying with John, both of them naked, sweaty and sated, was a feeling like nothing he'd ever experienced before. His entire body seemed to have come alive, and he felt totally cherished and loved – and that feeling was a revelation to him. Rodney held on tight, convulsing in John's arms as he realised how close he'd come to not having this. If that accident with the QDD hadn't brought their alternate selves here...if the Colonel had moved in too fast and scared him away...if he hadn't taken that one final step and finally given John the sign he'd asked for...

 

"Hey." John's hands brushed his arms gently, soothing him. "Ssh. I've got you now," John told him, his lips brushing Rodney's hair. "I've got you now and I'll always have you from now on. Ssh, ssh, ssh."

 

~*~

 

The first thing John saw when he woke the next day was Rodney lying beside him, curled up next to him, head on his shoulder, hair dishevelled. John felt a surge of happiness, and an odd sensation of protectiveness. He remembered the way the General had looked at his Rodney and now he thought he totally understood that sense of wanting to take care of someone, to look out for them and keep them safe. He'd dreamed of having Rodney for so many weeks now, but the reality had more than exceeded the expectations. He was glad he hadn't forced the pace, or demanded more of Rodney than the scientist would have been able to give before he was ready. Seeing the expression of total trust in Rodney's eyes the previous evening when he'd claimed him had blown him away; Rodney had been worth the wait.

 

John traced a finger down Rodney's face and along his shoulder and Rodney came to, and gazed at him with bleary blue eyes.

 

"Hey," John whispered, pressing a kiss to Rodney's cheek.

 

"Hey," Rodney replied lazily, and for a moment John braced himself, half expecting to see an expression of shock in Rodney's eyes as he realised what they'd done the previous night but the expression never materialised. Instead, Rodney gave a shy little smile – yet another expression John would never have expected to see on Rodney's usually guarded face.

 

"How are you feeling?" John asked, brushing his fingertips over Rodney's naked skin, loving the way Rodney shivered beneath his touch. Damn but Rodney was so incredibly responsive – it was beautiful to watch and it turned him on so much.

 

"Fine. A little sore," Rodney grimaced.

 

"I'll kiss it all better," John grinned.

 

"I'm fairly sure that's what led to it becoming sore in the first place," Rodney replied and John laughed out loud.

 

"Lie on your front," he said, and Rodney gazed at him, wide-eyed. "It's okay – I just want to play with your ass," John told him and Rodney did as he was told, rolling onto his front and placing his head on the pillow, totally trusting. John rolled back the sheet and then examined Rodney's ass. It was as beautiful as it had been the previous evening and John sighed – he had a total thing for Rodney's ass – it turned him on so much. John slid down the bed and positioned himself beside Rodney's bottom and then prodded his finger into it, loving the way Rodney's skin dimpled around it. He bent his head and licked the bite mark he'd made the previous evening, sucking on it, loving that Rodney bore *his* mark on his skin. Rodney made a little whimpering sound and John felt that urge to hold him down, and keep him still. He placed a warning hand on Rodney's back and Rodney subsided, and that just turned John on even more. He found Rodney's submission so completely intoxicating that his cock was now rock hard. John placed a hand on Rodney's butt and fondled it, and then raised his hand and brought it down, loving the way Rodney's flesh wobbled around the little slap. He tried it again, a little harder, and Rodney glanced over his shoulder and gave him a questioning look.

 

"I know what you want to do," Rodney murmured, and John thought the way he was blushing was the most endearing thing he'd ever seen.

 

"Will you let me?" John asked, sliding his hand over Rodney's bottom again. "Do it properly I mean? I'd like to but only if you want me to."

 

Rodney's face was now bright pink and he squirmed and muttered something into his arms.

 

"I didn't hear that, Rodney," John said, depositing another little slap on Rodney's ass.

 

"Yes," Rodney said, lifting his head from his hands. "Do it...I want you to do it."

 

John grinned and sat up, his back against the wall, and grabbed a pillow and put it on his lap. He took hold of Rodney's face and kissed him on the lips and Rodney melted against him, the way Rodney Sheppard had always melted against the General – something that had always made John extremely envious. John released him and looking down saw that Rodney's cock was hard again.

 

"So tell me," he asked. "That time the General spanked his Rodney in front of us...just how hard were you?"

 

Rodney squirmed against him, his face still flushing furiously.

 

"Rodney?" John demanded.

 

"Oh, okay – I was rock hard," Rodney admitted. John grinned.

 

"Me too," he said and he laughed out loud when Rodney's eyes widened in surprise. "Oh don't get me wrong – I was still really mad with you, and I felt pretty sorry for Rodney Sheppard, but it was just so hot," John said. "Now...over my knee." He swung Rodney down over the pillow, and then caressed his bottom again and Rodney sighed and relaxed, his legs widening. "First I'm going to spank you and then, if you want me to, I'm going to fuck you again," John promised and Rodney turned his head to gaze at him with a look of total adoration in his eyes.

 

"I suppose it's too soon to tell you that I love you?" he murmured. John grinned.

 

"No it damn well isn't," he said. "I've waited long enough. And Rodney? I love you too." Then he raised his hand and brought it down lightly on Rodney's bare bottom with a little smacking sound. Rodney gave a little whimper and John stroked the red handprint he'd just left behind and then deposited another light spank on Rodney's ass. Rodney started to make a little mewling sound of pleasure in the back of his throat and John smiled delightedly. Oh god this was good! A naked Rodney draped over his knee, his bottom laid out in front of him so enticingly while John spanked him – this was fantastic. He loved the feel of Rodney's firm but wobbly butt cheeks under his hand and the way they pinked up so easily. He spanked Rodney slowly, leisurely, stroking him between each spank, loving the way Rodney sighed and gasped and occasionally wriggled. John spanked him until Rodney's bottom was a beautiful shade of warm pink and Rodney was wriggling in earnest and then, unbearably aroused by the sight of that ass squirming so irresistibly in front of him, John squeezed lube onto his fingers and slid them into Rodney's little hole. It opened up for him easily, still stretched from the previous night, and John examined the entrance carefully to make sure there wasn't any tearing but it was fine. He finger fucked Rodney for several minutes, then rolled him onto his side, slid down the bed behind him, firmly pulled those warm buttocks apart and pressed his hard cock into him. Rodney hissed as John entered him, so John guessed he was still a little sore, and he just rocked into him gently for awhile, easing him in, and when Rodney had relaxed he started pushing back and forth. It was a slow fuck, without the previous night's urgency, just lazy, gentle thrusts and John delighted in the way Rodney's warm bottom felt against his balls and thighs as he rode him, and the sounds Rodney was making in the back of his throat. He loved that he could make Rodney make *these* sounds – who knew the scientist was even capable of such beautiful, erotic sounds?

 

"Oh yeah...milk me, Rodney," John whispered, because he loved talking dirty to Rodney, and loved the effect it had on Rodney when he spoke to him like this. "Take me...I'm big and hard for you...mmmm." He reached a hand around and found that Rodney already had his own hand wrapped around his cock. John slapped it away. "This is mine now," he whispered, and he felt Rodney tremble with arousal as he said the words. "I'm going to make you come...come for me, Rodney. That's it...oh god you feel so good. I'm going to come...come with me...oh yeah..." And he felt himself ejaculate deep inside Rodney's warm, willing body and felt Rodney spurt out over his hand at almost the very same time. Then they just lay there – John felt as if he belonged here, as if this was his home, and he rested his chin on Rodney's shoulder and closed his eyes, totally at one with his universe.

 

John stayed inside Rodney, loving the way his softened cock felt, still inside Rodney's warm body, and the feel of holding Rodney in his arms. It had taken a long time to tame him, but now there was no sign at all of the scientist's sharp claws and teeth; Rodney was like a warm bundle of loving fur, pressed up against him, utterly trusting. They dozed for awhile, and then Rodney shifted slightly.

 

"How long?" Rodney asked and John knew what he was asking.

 

"From the day I first met you," John told him simply.

 

"What?" Rodney glanced over his shoulder in surprise.

 

"Yeah – I had the strongest reaction to you. The minute I met you I just itched to touch you. I

found myself undressing you with my eyes, wondering what you'd look like with your head thrown back, screaming out loud as you came with my cock in your ass. I just suppressed it because it seemed so complicated and difficult, and because you didn't seem interested. Then they came along, the General and Dr Sheppard, and suddenly I couldn't suppress it any more. I just knew I wanted you."

 

"That long? You've wanted me for that long?" Rodney sounded utterly shocked.

 

"Yes, Rodney – I've wanted you for that long." John nibbled a little on Rodney's shoulder. "I thought maybe you felt something – we were always sparking off each other, and I thought maybe it was about sex, but you never gave me any sign and I didn't want to make an idiot of myself. And then the more I got to know you the more I didn't want to screw things up between us by making some half-assed move on you – I liked you too much."

 

"You did?"

 

John sank his teeth playfully into Rodney's neck. "You really are the most clueless man I've ever met," he growled. Rodney gave a little laugh. "Seriously," John said, kissing the little bite mark he'd just made. "How long did you keep me waiting?"

 

"You were very patient," Rodney agreed, glancing at him over his shoulder again.

 

"Didn't want to spook you," John told him.

 

"How will this work?" Rodney asked. "Out there – how can it possibly work, John?"

 

"We'll take it as it comes," John told him. "But I'm not hiding, Rodney. You and me – we're for life. You know that don't you?"

 

Rodney went very still in his arms, and John could have sworn that he felt him tremble.

 

"Before he went...I spoke to the General about how to do that lifebonding ritual. I'm not saying it would work, or even that we should try it...but one day...we might want to think about it," John said.

 

He felt Rodney relax completely in his arms when he said that, and those big hands of his came up to touch John's hands where they were clasped around Rodney's waist, and Rodney rested his hands there, those restless fingers finally still, and that was all the answer John needed.

 

They dozed for a little while longer, and then John dragged Rodney into the shower. He enjoyed lathering the scientist all over, and the shower took forever because John kept pushing Rodney against the wall and kissing him every few seconds. Finally, clean and happy, they returned to the other room. Rodney put on a bathrobe and John wrapped a towel around his waist. He saw a box on the table and frowned.

 

"What’s this?" he asked, going over to it and opening it.

 

"Uh...nothing..." Rodney said, looking at him with that endearingly shy expression that John thought he was going to have to get used to.

 

"Nothing?" John pulled out a paddle and gazed at it meaningfully.

 

"Just some stuff Rodney Sheppard left me," Rodney sighed. "That's where I got the shirt from."

 

"Oh I *love* that shirt," John told him with a grin. "Looks better on you than it did on him though." Rodney preened slightly at that. "Maybe because you're you, and you're the one I'm horny for," John added. Rodney preened even more. "Mmmm, this stuff looks pretty interesting." John extracted the soft flogger and ran his fingers through it.

 

"Really?" There was a definite squeak in Rodney's voice.

 

"Rodney..." John went over to him, and took hold of his face between his hands. "We aren't them. We don't have to do the same things they do. This is our universe and we're the people we are here. There are definite similarities but we're never going to be exactly the same. These toys are fun but we don't have to use them. You do it for me without any of this stuff. I'm happy to use it one day but only if it's what you want too – and only when you're ready. Okay?"

 

Rodney nodded. "I did think the cuffs were kind of hot," he admitted. "I like the idea of you tying me up...of being helpless...powerless..."

 

John smiled at him, thinking how incredibly adorable he looked right now. He knew just how much it had taken the notoriously distrustful scientist to admit that he wanted to be powerless for John. He knew there was absolutely nobody else in this world that Rodney would have admitted that to, and he also knew just how much it had cost Rodney to admit it. He was seeing a whole different side to Rodney now that they were lovers, a side that was shy and endearing and not at all like the prickly scientist he'd known and worked with for so long.

 

"I'd like that too," he said, kissing Rodney's lips gently. "We'll try it out – in our own time. We'll give you a safe word. You know I'll always take good care of you, don't you?"

 

"Mmm," Rodney sighed, nestling against him in that fantastic way he had of making John feel totally special. John wrapped his arms around him and gazed at him in wonder. Rodney looked different. His face seemed younger, his eyes brighter...he'd lost those tense lines around his mouth, and that guarded expression from his eyes, and his whole body was loose and relaxed. Beneath that sarcastic exterior, John realised there had been a lonely man, longing to be loved, and he was very happy to take on that particular task.

 

There was a sudden flash of light and they both looked around, confused.

 

"What the hell was that?" John asked.

 

"I have no idea...no...wait..." Rodney disengaged himself and walked over to the other side of the room, to where he'd once put tape on the floor and never bothered removing it. There, inside the little square, was a parcel.

 

"What is it?" John asked.

 

Rodney turned it over, cautiously, and then his face broke into a crooked little grin as he read the note attached to it.

 

"It's from them," he said, handing it over. John grinned back at him, and they both sat down on the bed and Rodney read the note out loud.

 

"Hey guys. Took me a few days but I finally got our QDD up and running. Here's a present from us to thank you for your hospitality – it's good to be home but we miss you guys and your weird universe. Anyway, we thought you two might be about ready for this. Congratulations!"

 

And then there was a scrawled "Rodney" in the same handwriting, followed by a much less flamboyant "John" beside it.

 

John grinned and slid his fingers under the brown paper wrapper. He opened the parcel and something fell out onto the bed.

 

"What is it?" Rodney asked, moving the paper aside so he could get a proper look at it. John took one look and laughed out loud. There, on the bed, was a thick, black, leather belt, with a buckle in the shape of a puddle jumper, and hanging from the belt were various items, including a hard leather strap. Beside the belt was a slim, silver collar, with a shiny little lock on the front. They were very different to the belt and collar their alternate selves had worn, but John and Rodney both understood the symbolism immediately. "Oh god," Rodney sighed.

 

"So...if we put these on - does that mean we're married?" John grinned.

 

"Not in this universe!" Rodney replied. "And by the way – that strap? There is no way it goes near my ass."

 

John laughed out loud. "That's fine by me. I'll just keep it for show," he grinned. "Although maybe one day...?" He gave Rodney a sly look and the scientist blushed.

 

"We'll see," he replied, and John smiled, because he thought that Rodney might have needs he could barely admit to himself yet, but they'd see where their journey led them.

 

"I think you'd look cute in the collar though," John told him. "Maybe occasionally you could wear it in here, when we're alone, just as a turn on? You gotta admit you were fascinated by it from the minute they arrived."

 

"Was not!" Rodney protested.

 

"You so were! You complaining endlessly about Rodney Sheppard's collar – nobody makes that much fuss about something unless they're secretly intrigued by it."

 

He picked up the collar and held it up. Rodney gazed at him for a moment, and then sighed.

 

"Oh go ahead. Just don't ever tell anyone," he said. John grinned, and slid the silver collar around Rodney's neck and snapped it shut.

 

"Oh god yes – that looks so horny," he said, surveying Rodney appreciatively.

 

He slid his fingers over the collar and then tickled Rodney's neck. Rodney squirmed and John pushed him back onto the bed, still tickling him, and now Rodney started to giggle. John paused, his head cocked.

 

"Is that a giggle, Rodney?" he asked.

 

"Most certainly not!" Rodney replied. John tickled him again and Rodney doubled up against him, still giggling.

 

"Oh I think it's a giggle," John said. "Admit it!" He straddled Rodney's body and held his hands above his head, pinning him to the bed and Rodney gazed up at him from wide blue eyes, and the expression of total love and surrender in them turned John on. "Definitely a giggle," John whispered, lowering his head to catch Rodney's lips with his own. Rodney melted against him, completely trusting, and John sighed. He drew back and gently caressed the side of Rodney's face with his fingertips.

 

"Mine now," John whispered, stroking Rodney gently.

 

"Yes," Rodney agreed, happily. "Yours."

 

And everything in the universe felt as if it was in exactly the right place.

 

The End